Angular and Poorly Sorted @selectivelyserious - Tumblr Blog

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milowing

the father (dolly parton), the son (sabrina carpenter), and the holy spirit (miss piggy)

merweleftthisbehind-deactivated

Maiden, Mother, Crone in the best way possible...

taraljc

accurate.

da-janela-lateral

Outdoor cat owners have no concept of basic ecology and it shows. "You're saying my kitty is EVIL for following its instincts???????" obviously not, you idiot, its an animal. I don't blame it because it is designed to hunt and doesn't understand human morality. The cat's human owner, though, should stop pretending that millions of people letting their pets hunt native species for fun WON'T make their ecossystem collapse. If you stop hearing birdsong in your neighborhood its your fault 👍.

da-janela-lateral

Also cats are domestic animals????? Its your pet. Its your responsability to take care of it and it certainly doesn't look like you are doing this if your pet spends 90% of the day on the streets. Outside cats are in great risk for being ran over, stolen, beaten, poisoned, mauled or eaten by wild animals. A mildly bored cat is way better than a dead one and besides? Just offer your pet enrichment. You don't need to risk its life to keep it happy. You can even let it outside with supervision!! Look how many options we have. Insisting the only way to keep your cat happy is allowing it to wreck the environment and possibly die is not only fucking irresponsible, but also lazy and shows that you don't really care for the wildlife around you.

yarrow-heather-and-hollyhock

I love this little bit by Cathon

draconym

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

draconym

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.

alienaficionados

““When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day, when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking–the first in his life. She told him that he would have to go outside himself and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.” All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy into her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because if violence begins in the nursery one can raise children into violence.””

— Astrid Lindgren, author of Pippi Longstocking, 1978 Peace Prize Acceptance Speech (via jillymomcraftypants)

shamebats

In 1978, when she received the Peace Prize of the German Book Trade, Lindgren spoke against corporal punishment of children in a speech entitled Never Violence! After that, she teamed up with scientists, journalists and politicians to promote non-violent upbringing. In 1979, a law was introduced in Sweden prohibiting violence against children in response to her demands. Until then there was no such law anywhere in the world.

What a legacy. We’re so lucky to have had her.

the-big-mood

mando-lore

coughdropsandsoftspots

While making dinner tonight, I very very fleetingly, but very seriously and legitimately thought “I should watch Goncharov tonight”

And then I Remembered.

sunglassesbot

That it's no longer on poob?

hornytransgirljenni

niktheniknik

This is incomprehensible outside of tumblr, i love a well maintained closed ecosystem

derinthescarletpescatarian

Today I was forced to do internet banking for the first time in like four years (sad) and they’ve put in a bunch of new security shit I don’t understand and all my info like my phone number and stuff was out of date, so I had to physically go into the branch and actually ask the teller “can you please help me do internet banking” like I’m some doddering old dear who doesn’t understand this newfangled World Wide Web thing and IT GETS WORSE, because they’re like ‘okay so the easiest way to deal with our security is if you have our app on your phone’ and I DO NOT WANT apps on my phone and I grumble about this in the most Old Man Way possible but they say it’s the easiest so fine, we can do that, only there’s an in-bank security step for authenticating the app so the lady helping me has to sit down and wait while I pull out my old scratched beaten-up dinosaur of a Barely Counts As A Smartphone, wait forever for it to wake up, and open the app store.

I do not know where the app store is.

Okay, this lady explains to me (she is very good at customer service and there’s absolutely no sign on her face that she is baffled how someone like me can even be alive, even though logically she HAS TO be thinking that), it should be in your apps. Look at your apps.

I do not know how to look at my apps. I use like 4 apps (call, text, photos, music) and I put them on the front screen thing ages ago. I push all of the buttons on the phone and apps do not appear. There’s nothing in settings or anything either.

Try swiping up, she says.

I try this a few times. My phone does not register the contact. On the fourth time, it realises that I want it to do something, and oh, there are the apps. We install the app. We do all the sign-in and authentification code shit and it does not work. We do it again and it does not work again.

“If I had a checkbook I’d be out of here by now,” I say. She laughs because it is true. We’ve been here for twenty minutes. I restart my phone to see if that’s the problem and grumble under my breath about how banking never used to be so complicated. As I open the app again, I ask how people do internet banking if they don’t have phones.

She seems puzzled by the question. “We have ways for them to do banking,” she says, “but most… most people have phones.”

She’s probably right. You probably need a phone to survive if you’re homeless these days.

The program loads now but catches us in an endless sign-in loop and the problem, we learn from a supervisor who’s wandered over (presumably to see how helping one idiot put an app on their phone could possibly be taking so long) is actually not on my end. There’s something wrong with the version of the app that the woman assisting me has put on my account on the computer (that’s her half in this operation), so we have to uninstall the app on both systems and reinstall it. Fine. I uninstall the app. Now to go to the app store.

I have forgotten how to access the app store. I push all of the buttons on the phone and apps do not appear. There’s nothing in settings or anything either.

Try swiping up, the woman says.

Oh. There’s the app store.

We install it and get caught in an endless loop again but I am computer savvy enough to know that if restarting and reinstalling doesn’t work then sometimes just trying the same thing over and over again will make it work for no reason, and it does, after I sign in three times in a row we can FINALLY authenticate the app and I can FINALLY use it for two-factor authentication and I CAN FINALLY DO INTERNET BANKING AGAIN.

“Thanks for your help,” I say.

“No problem.”

“I’m sorry it took so long,” I say.

“It’s really not a problem,” she says, and because she’s a professional it’s totally convincing, but I have helped people with tech before and I know how much it sucks. I look at this woman who, on any other day, would be a good few years older than me, but not today. For today, I am a doddering 96-year-old woman who wishes for a simple chequebook and does not like smartphones.

I get up, and I pick up my bag and my walking stick, and I leave the bank, thinking about the scarf I’ve been knitting and how much more work I have to do on it. I wonder if I should bake scones tonight.

I have already forgotten how to open the app store.

derinthescarletpescatarian

There are too many of them these days! Too many apps! Companies need to stop trying to make us do everything on our phones!

marlinspirkhall

TFA shouldn’t even require an app for you to do it. TFA is just testing that one: you know your password, and two, you have a “key” to physically prove it is you (like a device logged into your email account), in case someone else knows your password. Or, if you’re cool enough, a fingerprint or retinal scanner.

The bank could give you a physical button to press if they were dedicated enough. I bet the bank of evil from Despicable Me hands out Big Red Buttons Of Doom for all their customers to use. Honestly what’s the point of being a bank if you’re not going to overthink shit to the most flamboyant degree possible?

derinthescarletpescatarian

I know! Everyone else just texts you! The bank is the only place I’ve seen have an app for it.

I asked about this while we were going through all this shit and the girls was like, “oh, you can also bank on the app, so I guess it’s more convenient to put the security there too” (which makes no fucking sense) and I didn’t push the issue because it’s not her fault and she probably doesn’t know any more than me but I think it’s pretty damned obvious that the reason is the same reason that some particularly sketchy free services try to make you sign up with your credit card anyway – if you’ve already linked your card/got the app, you’re more likely to buy things/use the app. They want people using their mobile app so they make you have it for “account security” even if you don’t intend to use it, because you’re more likely to start using it in the future if it’s already set up.

theimaginatrix27

Derin, I say this while fully aware I do not possess my own personal smartphone, but how? How do you not have a minicomputer that you play games on and read on and do a dozen other things with? How are you even real? Are you real? First you have two ridiculously low-storage computers for this day and age, then you tell me you barely use your smartphone for things people were using phones for twenty years ago? This is almost like if I was still making tapes with a clunky old cassette deck like the first one I ever used, which did not have a CD-player, in a bizarre alternate timeline where I didn’t know CDs even existed, let alone anything more advanced than that!

Yes, manufacturers and companies expect you to have a more up-to-date smartphone! This should not come as a surprise to you! You just bought your own house, how do you not have a semi-decent phone? Or computer, for that matter?

derinthescarletpescatarian

Because I don’t need one. I do occasionally read fic on my phone (it’s got a native web browser, obviously, they all do) and occasionally listen to music to calm myself down if I’m somewhere too crowded or sensory, but in general I use is as a watch and to text my boss. I don’t need to play games on it, that would be actively detrimental to my life – that’s valuable quiet-brain time I’d be eating up, quiet-brain time is SUCH a limited and very valuable resource these days, I don’t see why people waste it. I despise putting company-specific apps on it because half of them are full of malware and spyware and shit – I put facebook on my old phone and I could never fully remove it and it was such utterly intrusive garbage that it’s a big part of why I got a new one. I had to put gmail on this one, I forget why, and I’ve regretted it ever since because it won’t stop fucking telling me when I get emails and IT IS NOT MY PHONE’S BUSINESS IF I GET AN EMAIL. (Yeah, yeah, I shouldn’t be using gmail, I haven’t got round to switching to something better.)

Just because something exists doesn’t make it a positive addition to my life. I also don’t have fancy clothes I won’t wear, or a subscription to any streaming services, or an expensive car (well I don’t drive, but if I did I still wouldn’t get an expensive car), or any internet-connected household appliances. Just because something has existed for ages doesn’t mean I have to want to use it.

Companies absolutely should not expect me to have a more up-to-date smartphone. My grandmother reluctantly bought a flip phone to keep in contact with family members in an emergency, but doesn’t like or understand smartphones. With this security system, she can’t bank at the library. The world is full of homeless or impoverished people who need phones to survive but absolutely cannot afford to keep fucking getting new ones. I have a lot to say about our high-consumerist, planned-obsolescence-laden culture, and I gotta say when companies expect you to get rid of perfectly serviceable handheld computers every two years and get a new one just so you can use their basic services, that is NOT reasonable. That is NOT okay. That is NOT an expectation that anyone should have. How would we be if people did that with clothes? You can’t eat in this restaurant unless the clothes you’re wearing were made within the last few years? It’s fucking stupid.

The only thing physically wrong with my phone is that the screen’s a bit scratched up and doesn’t register contact all the time, and for that reason I do intend to replace it; I’m waiting until I finish my job (ten weeks) before I change phone service providers to one that’ll let me use a cheaper handset. (Unlocked handsets are so much more pricey.) That’s a reasonable reason for me to get a new (very cheap, very basic) handset. “The new iPhone Zigglybob Jenga 4 is out so everyone needs the fancyphone!” is not, and basic life services like banking should not expect me to have a smartphone at all. (I would prefer a flip phone. I only went to smartphones in the first place because I needed Google Maps a lot; I don’t need google maps here but everyone’s forcing me to use sixteen billion apps to do anything instead.)

And the storage on my computer is completely fine. It has never in my life been any kind of a problem. I have a couple of external drives for media and stuff I want to keep, and I clean out the hard drive once a year or so. I don’t have more internal space because I don’t have any need for it.

caparrucia

I work in banking, and every so often I have to remind wide eyed, enthusiastic engineers that they can’t gatekeep services to smartphone app users, because not all customers are smartphone app users.

“Customers without smartphones are not second class customers, they’re customers.”

Even so, at least you’re banked. There’s a significant amount of the population who just doesn’t have access to the banking system, and I get increasingly less gentle in reminding so, to every Musk wannabe who comes in saying how digital money is the future and cash will be extinct by 20XX.

doodleoo

what you learn from hobbies:

consistent practice opens up whole worlds of skill that you couldn't imagine

making mistakes in the process of learning is not only natural, it is also essential

activities that you enjoy can give you more energy back than you spent on them

wow everything is so expensive

doodleoo

my hands hurt

motherfucker-somewhat-limited

tiktoks with vine energy pt. 8

here-by-chance

im obsessed

the-real-seebs

oh, of course. because he died for our sins.

johannestevans

Also, consider. A magical version of the bends. Whenever someone from a non- or low-magical land has to go into a very magic rich forest or land or dimension, having to take breaks to let their bodies adjust to the new magic exposure or else their blood will boil in their veins or they'll Transform

wormtoxin

actually the bends only kicks in when you try to LEAVE the high pressure area. or in this case, magic rich area?

Getting deeper and deeper into feywilds and knowing that however deep you get, it’s gonna take twice as long to escape without magic tearing its way out of you

fuckyeahmarxismleninism

"I don't see any god up here. But from here the Earth is beautiful, without borders or divisions."

The first words of a human in space.

Soviet Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin, April 12, 1961.

Thanks to Clara Statello

theabigailthorn

wholesome non-toxic Yuri

kooldewd123

i know this has been remarked upon before but it really is hilarious how the whole "ditto keeps the same face when it transforms" thing was originally presented as a failing of one specific ditto in the anime, only for pokemon to immediately realize that being able to slap a ditto face onto literally anything was actually an incredibly strong marketing tool and backpedaling on it so hard that nearly thirty years later we're getting an entire game marketed nearly entirely off the inherent appeal of the ditto face.

mist-the-wannabe-linguist

Dunno how to put it properly into words but lately I find myself thinking more about that particular innocence of fairy tales, for lack of better word. Where a traveller in the middle of a field comes across an old woman with a scythe who is very clearly Death, but he treats her as any other auntie from the village. Or meeting a strange green-skinned man by the lake and sharing your loaf of bread with him when he asks because even though he's clearly not human, your mother's last words before you left home were to be kind to everyone. Where the old man in the forest rewards you for your help with nothing but a dove feather, and when you accept even such a seemingly useless reward with gratitude, on your way home you learn that it's turned to solid gold. Where supernatural beings never harm a person directly and every action against humans is a test of character, and every supernatural punishment is the result of a person bringing on their own demise through their own actions they could have avoided had they changed their ways. Where the hero wins for no other reason than that they were a good person. I don't have the braincells to describe this better right now but I wish modern fairy tales did this more instead of trying to be fantasy action movies.

beaft

"In [fairy tales], power is rarely the right tool for survival anyway. Rather the powerless thrive on alliances, often in the form of reciprocated acts of kindness - from beehives that were not raided, birds that were not killed but set free or fed, old women who were saluted with respect. Kindness sown among the meek is harvested in crisis."

-Rebecca Solnit