Stuff My Sister Says

[selfiewithasquirrel]

Mom just looked at me with such surprise that I flicked a baby.

Sara, the baby flicker

[selfiewithasquirrel]

Did you get CHEESE on my planner!!?

Sara, the person who had cheese on their planner

[selfiewithasquirrel]

For the last time, my eyes aren't vaginas!

My sister, the artist (kinda)

[selfiewithasquirrel]

I'm drinking Sprite out of a bowl and eating a tomato like it is an apple.

My sister got hungry

[selfiewithasquirrel]

I'm sorry, I'm just having those sharp pains in my butthole.

“Don’t act like not everyone gets those!”

[selfiewithasquirrel]

Sara: Ew... This person was born in 2000. Me: ...you were born in 1999.

[selfiewithasquirrel]

[trying to sneak donuts into the house] "What are those? Is that donuts!" "It's a donut. As in, donut worry about it."

[selfiewithasquirrel]

"I don't want to feel your hot feet."

[adrianlookatthis]

“Your sister just told me I am a goddess of beauty.”

“Interesting. What does she want?”

“Cookies.”

[adrianlookatthis]

Donald T. Rump

[selfiewithasquirrel]

"What's an item found in a purse or wallet that starts with the letter C?" "See, not in my wallet, but I hear some people have something called...cash."

[hernietta]

Whenever I see Jupiter, I get so scared. What if it eats me?

sara the space nerd (star-devil)

[selfiewithasquirrel]

"There's a variable called "p hat" and I just can't take it seriously."

[selfiewithasquirrel]

"Nick and Gatsby are gay for each other."

[selfiewithasquirrel]

“Panic at the Disco? Well, in your case it’s more like Erin Panics at the Everywhere.”

[selfiewithasquirrel]

Runs into the room and throws salt at sister: You've been a-salted!

[selfiewithasquirrel]

"Maybe we're only friends because we're so weird that nobody else will be friends with us."