Sense of Reality

[beardedmrbean]

Demons are real and they write for the new york times.

[wizardshark]

Tags passed peer review

[calellon]

big fan of anything that shuts my brain off for a little while

[everythingstarstuff]

[headspace-hotel]

90’s babies how are you not???traumatized?!???

[imitation-lobster-meat]

we are

[counterbalancing]

me want Honeycomb

[ottertoad]

This is him now… Feel old?

[alwaysbewoke]

that went hella left

[transwaterbender]

WTF

[yellowmonday-deactivated2022120]

jack likes to ask questions like “if we were on a desert island, which of us would we eat first?” dean says what the fuck is wrong with you. also we would eat sam because he’s the biggest so he could feed us the longest. sam says….right….but you would die first though. so we’d eat you first. and cas says, easy, i would simply exit my vessel and inhabit dean or whoever. and dean’s like what. and cas says well who else would i inhabit? and dean is like what the fuck is wrong with YOU and sam says dude, chill, it was a reasonable answer. cas i’d let you possess me. cas says thank you sam. that means a lot. jack says i think we would eat ME first because younger flesh tastes better. and sam is like…..yeah kiddo you’re right but i wouldn’t be able to eat you. actually, i’m changing my answer. cas, i’d be honored to eat your vessel. cas says thank you sam that also means a lot. dean says WHAT is wrong with ALL of you

[yellowmonday-deactivated2022120]

ive added a visual element

[fleurdemeth]

Portrait of a Young Woman, Jean-Etienne Liotard 

Girl with a Pearl Earring, Johannes Vermeer 

[heartfeltdelight]

#they look like theyve been having a chat about u and u just walked in

[antimony-ore]

I’m on mobile, somebody edit them into this please

[antimony-ore]

Y'all take too long

[tyrelll28-deactivated20201029]

Same energy

[antimony-ore]

No worries guys, they’re there too

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[4gifs]

[maruxee]

I’M DEAD

[prokopetz]

Fun fact: if you know your feline body language, you’ll notice that the lynx is deferring to the housecat. As far as these two are concerned, the housecat is the higher-ranking cat.

[thecarvingwitch]

OH MY GOSH

[icarus-in-fl1ght-deactivated202]

It’s because the cat is that lynx’s mom

[softfairies]

[akindplace]

Titsay

[hurleyquinnzel]

Bridesmaid to a waiter: What a beautiful wedding

Waiter, about to reveal that the poor groom’s bride is a whore: Oh you haven’t heard?

[hurleyquinnzel]

the number of people making comments on this post about how there’s nothing wrong with being a whore is far too high like i’m not trying to shame people who are promiscuous or sex workers this is a fucking reference to a song and if you dont understand the reference dont reblog with some idiotic trying too hard to be progressive shit its literally a joke about a lyric from a song it was never, and never will be, that fucking deep. if you dont get the reference literally just shut up and dont reblog this post oh my god

[christopher-bryant]

by fall out boy

[hurleyquinnzel]

I dont know what’s funnier the people getting offended because they don’t get the panic reference or the people getting offended because they don’t get the fall out boy joke

[diazpoems]

Me at the people still arguing about this:

[ritikajyala]

There'll be a moment when you realise you're 27 when yesterday you were just 17; and you wouldn't be able to tell how a decade passed away and your life got divided into before and afters. The fury of youth will subdue and nothing will really change but everything will feel different when you look at old photographs and blurry videos taken on cheap mobile phones. Scents will remind you of childhood and certain friends you don't talk to anymore, hangouts will become reunions and mom's burnt pie will become the best food you ever had. And I know on some days you won't be able to show anything of those 10 years but I hope you remember to breathe, and let go of the knot in your chest. I hope you go out in the sun and live a little, because tomorrow is 37.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

One of the kids I’m babysitting rn just asked me, “Miss Amy, can I tell you a secret?” and then informed me that his brother does not have blood anymore, because they saw a doctor take it

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Same kid that attended this Sunday’s church service in full vampire bat costume and screeched loudly anytime someone said his name

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Update his two year old brother just handed me a partially squished cockroach

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Today’s secret is “if I carry too many things, I die,” and he definitely, for sure did not tell me that specifically because I asked him to pick up his jacket moments beforehand

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

“Where’s the tiger?” the five year old asks, peering around the zoo. “I don’t see him!”

“Probably he had to get his covid shot,” says the three year old, nodding wisely.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

How could I possibly forget this exchange

“You can’t play with my skunk,” says the three year old, snatching the toy from the five year old. “Mr. Skunk doesn’t like you.”

“Whoa, whoa,” I say, while driving. “Mr. Skunk likes everyone!”

The three year old makes direct eye contact with me in the rear view mirror. “Except the police,” he says darkly.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Overwhelmed! When the five year old learned that I’m having a bad day today, he immediately asked me to take him home so he can “get us a snack and help with whatever you want to do today.”

The three year old has offered to carry all the backpacks into the house, despite his former statements re: dying if asked to carry his own belongings

[sasukehoe]

Respectfully, Ireland is the best country on the planet

[skywardstrapon]

from the same thread:

[tatersgonnatate]

Draw the boundary line homie, you absolutely deserve it ❤️

[lild3m0nsworld]

[rbhvleo]

it eats me alive.

[odinsblog]

So many of these are really good

[ultracrystalaesthetiques]

I have many but I’ll pick my fave. My and my partner are walking down the street and he starts freaking out and pointing. When I look up I see a baby in a loose stroller just rolling down the sidewalk towards the street.

 At this point everything becomes slow motion. I drop everything and start running like I’m Batman or some shit. My partner is dramatically screaming “NOOO” somewhere behind me. The stroller hits the curb and flips over on the dirt half a second before I get there and I have to struggle desperately to overturn it and check on the baby. Baby is BIG MAD and dirty. 

Then the Mom strolls out of the house very nonchalantly and just picks the baby up and wipes the dirt off like nbd. I open my mouth to explain what happened but I’m too flustered/ out of breath/ shocked to talk so my partner does that part. The mom just nods, smiles and takes baby back inside without a word. Like that happened everyday or something. LIKE IT MEANT NOTHING TO HER. I’m still not over this.

[drtanner]

Between threads like these and the shit I see on sidetalk, New York seems like a magical place. Is the magic good? Is the magic bad? Yes.

[fen-ha-fuck-you]

I was waiting for a train really late one night and there were only like three other people on the platform with me: a dude, and these two drunk girls, all college-aged.

We all watched a rat climb up from the tracks and onto the platform—as they do—and it started making its way closer. 

The guy walked toward it and wound up his foot like he was going to kick it back into the tracks, and one of the drunk girls rushed toward him and yelled, “Don’t be fucking rude!” and started hitting him with her bag. 

She lives in my mind rent-free.