[seobsecrets]

21 | blk | she/her | main blog -> @soobindreams

sporadic updates because i am actively a student

no requests

assume everything i write is non-idol au unless specified as such

all my works are fiction

lmk something

masterlist

human rights -> a master doc | HEAL Palestine | CHIRLA

ᥫ᭡.

[seobsecrets]

another cinderella story: the lip combo

you drunkingly leave your lip products with a guy you meet at a party with no way of getting them back

jongseob x reader

they/she pronouns used, ☆ in place of y/n, yeji ryujin and yuna cameos, ignore jongseob’s display name in the ig dms

(take a shot every time you read “lip”🫣)

j

[seobsecrets]

HIII your smaus are so fun,, what app do you use to make them? ^^"

- aspiring smau maker

heyo! thank you, i’m glad you think so🤗 i use a few apps to make my smaus

twinote for twitter posts and dms, there’s also its sister photonote for insta posts

memi message for gcs and texts, but it’s kinda buggy

i texted myself on imessages to make the bf texts before my phone updated but now i use a website called postfully, you can make gcs on there too

i do edit some of my screenshots to look more realistic but that messes with the quality

i hope this helped, if you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask, and have fun creating!!

[seobsecrets]

will we get a part two for sweater??

yes! and possibly a mini series, i haven’t decided yet

[seobsecrets]

sweater

his sweater is missing and he knows who has it: his roommate’s girlfriend… or friend or something

keeho x f!reader

inspo:

[seobsecrets]

piwon letting everyone into their crew, shiii lemme in too

[seobsecrets]

everybody should lowkey do this google form please (not by force tho)

[koishua]

get to know me tag!

tagged by: @neo-shitty beloved thank you <3

currently reading: my lecture book y'all we're in the trenches genuinely haven't picked up fiction in a long time

last movie: rewatched spirited away!! a new movie tho would be turtles can fly (2004) and that... it was on my list for years but i finally got around to it a couple months ago (i know it's not recent but it's the most recent film i have watched lol uni and work has been ahh) and it stayed with me for a long, long while especially because of how wars have not stopped since and children continue to suffer under the tyranny of evil monsters calling themselves righteous

last series: rewatched some eps of bbc sherlock (my ride or die truly) but a new series i have started is idol i!! and!! it's saur!! good?? was not expecting to enjoy it as much as i have and am currently on ep 9 i think

last song: kill me by hayley williams

sweet or salty: yes

coffe or tea: absolutely

currently working: correct. hshshahah i kid i kid. actually been planning on a fic i had the idea come to me after watching better days (2019) the chinese film ((fic synopsis: a series of encounters between a drifter — young college student struggling to hold onto life with debts to pay off and secrets to hide — and a convenience store night shift worker who happens to be a secret superstar.)) but it's been sitting in the docs for two years now lol classic koishua behaviour are we surprised. the fic is mostly inspired by better days because of the characters' relationship, not much else because the themes are so heavy and real. so yeah. but also another fic exploring some mental health themes with yeonjun that's more likely to come out soon

tagging: @mosviqu @starriniqhts @kaikaikoi @armysantiny @freakydazai @ningtual @bywons (chat i lowkey wanna tag all mooties but it's been so long idek if y'all are activeeee if you see this consider yourself tagged mootie ps. are we still friends 🥹🥹 lowkey highkey need to get back on the friendship grind enough with the self isolation dhdhshhs mooties ily im coming for you)

[starriniqhts]

tyty vie ml for the tag!! taking your consumed media as recommendations hehe

currently reading: ummm the only thing im reading rn is les lettres persanes by montesquieu 🤣 me when i only read for academia (fantasy come back i miss you...)

last movie: OOOOO idr..... maybe veer-zaara (2004) ? i loved srk and preity zinta in that omg

last series: oooo... um... currently simultaneously watching the second season of percy jackson and the olympians (2026) and the first season of derry girls (2018)!

last song: but sometimes live ver. (bnd) bc the live album HITSSSSS

sweet or salty: sweet !!

coffee or tea: OUGHHH i have been drinking more coffee lately but i think tea will always be more of a comfort to me <3

currently working: on my 100 follower event reqs!! but also my story for k-record's valentine's day event hehe 🤭🤭

np tags: @miusoju @htaesan @lusayyawnn @yesongi @j-jellyous @hollyoongs @wooahoe @nemoihan @tobiotaesan @woongelaatin @beomtomie @riuscheri @taestulipss @riumori @astrae4 @coriihanniee @eunandonly @wonsoire + anyone else who wants to join!

[miusoju]

thank youuu aylin!!!! we cheer 🥹

currently reading: i'm not currently reading anything TT

last movie: i just rewatched black panther (2018) yesterday! it was prettiiii good. i only decided to watch it cus i kept seeing killmonger edits ++ i love seeing a majority black cast during black history month.

last series: umm.. i'm watching d gray man ( 2006 ) right now ^ _ ^ also, baki hanma s2 ( 2023 ) has been a thing i've been watching slowly but surely. sometimes when i want background noise, i watch house md ( 2004 ).

last song: rocket by doechii

sweet or salty: SWEET ALL THE WAYYYYYYYYYYYY

coffee or tea: tea. i will always be a tea liker. whenever i'm drinking a hot drink, it will always be earl gray tea, unless it's hot chocolate.

currently working: surprisingly, i'm not working on anything at the moment. 💔

moots: @fleurcub @imbles @ihanzzn @hahaechans @numberoneprincessenthusiast @yunextdoor ++ anyone who wants to join !!!

[ihanzzn]

tysm for the tag dearest!!! :D

currently reading: my stats workbook…..

last movie: x-men apocalypse UGHH I LOVE XMEN SO MUCH U DONT UNDERSTANDDD + my friends coming over 2day and we’re gonna watch lady and the tramp!!

last series: i started watching dr house and lowk loving it so far im a sucker for shows like that + the big bang theory sometimes if i need smth in the background

last song: i want to hold your hand by the beatles , i love the beatles so so so so much like they’re rooted into my soul

sweet or salty: SWEEETTT!!! i love a sweet treat i’m literally going out to get one today hells yes

coffee or tea: i’m forever a coffee girl i love it, tea is super rare for me unless it’s iced

currently working: on my valentines event!!! first fic out feb 10th (heh shameless plug) but after that, i’ll be working on reqs :3

moots <3: @verseofliz @snoopymyung @moesthinking @hkvi @haeonniie @blondmade @seventeensbabye + anyone who wants to join !!

[snoopymyung]

thanks for the tag gang 🫶🏻

currently reading: my oral surgery textbook 😾

last movie: notting hill (it got added to hulu recently)

last series: rewatching ahs; finished greys anatomy season 3 yesterday, and also finished can this love be translated? on the same day woonhak did 🙀 (and planning on watching the beauty)

last song: you ll by lloyd (best track on king of hearts)

sweet or salty: spicy > salty > sour >>> sweet 👎🏼👎🏼 (i used to drink only bone broth as a baby)

coffee or tea: if i have to..tea, ig. i don’t drink anything but water.

currently working on: not a writer, unemployed..YASS (does an internship count? ) so i’m just living life rn and planning a trip to greece.

tagging moots i don’t interact with “much” (maybe we will after this… maybe 😹) : @sunoovamp @moesthinking @tsumiinum @zzynz0 @blondmade @coosmus @katthalyna @orim6ouled @hanid0ras

(tagging people is so embarrassing cause what if they don’t gaf??? i mean, idgaf when my friends tag me in giveaways 😭 but still..)

[katthalyna-deactivated20260216]

Thx for the tag :3

• currently reading: Pride and Prejudice

• last movie: the devil wears Prada

• last series: rewatching bojack horseman for the 4th time LOL

• last song: Primadonna - Marina

• sweet or salty: SWEET.

• coffee or tea: coffee.

• currently working on: i’m unemployed and depressed. But I’m working on a school project.

tagging: @antonsprincess @antonsdoll @antoncore @lorislane

[antoncore]

thank u for the tagggg

• currently reading: nothing

• last movie: marty supreme :3

• last series: tbh i don’t remember lol

• last song: country house by blue

• sweet or salty: both

• coffee or tea: tea

• currently working on: haven’t written in ages but i recently started working part time in a school :)

tagging: @yrfairy @tarofiles @choerrysjubiles @peachy-x-k33n @seobsecrets @mokalody !!

[seobsecrets]

woah first time tagged, thanks cece!!

currently reading: project hail mary by andy weir

last movie: rewatched moonlight (2016) for class, amazing movie btw i’d recommend everyone watch it

last series: either adventure time or star vs the forces of evil, i can’t remember

last song: thong song - sisqo, i am listening to a dj set tho but i don’t know the name of the last track played (the set is called “chronically online hot girl music” by chael en!!)

sweet or salty: both, depends on my mood

coffee or tea: both, depends on my mood

currently working on: schoolwork and wayyy too many wips

tagging: @peonyjoo @p1eceandharmon1 @withcheollie @tintedsvn @jadedayss0 @ikyunho (not by force btw, i was lowkey tagging at random) + anyone else

[seobsecrets]

nudelates

telling my bf i signed up for a non refundable nude pilates class prank

warnings: gn!reader but keeho says girl & jongseob says cooch

[seobsecrets]

it’s black history month in the u.s and i just wanna say i love you black people of the world

[seobsecrets]

“do you still like me?”

soul’s question threw you off. “why... would you ask that?” it hurt you that he was doubting your feelings for him but it hurt even more to see him with glossy eyes, avoiding your gaze, bouncing his leg, closing himself off to you.

“it's just- i don't know, you seem... distant. everytime i ask to hangout, you say no and that you're too busy. i don't know.”

ah. in the past couple of weeks you’ve been trying to catch up on work you've fallen terribly behind on.

in trying to better your academic career, you neglected other important aspects that made your life whole, like a significant someone that means everything to you.

“i'm sorry i made you feel that way. i shouldn't have pushed you aside like that. and i do still like you, i really like you.”

gently grabbing his face between your hands, you told him, “i like you so much that i would give you the world, the moon, and the stars if i could,” before giving him a kiss.

a/n: hbd to thee cutie ever

[seobsecrets]

texts with bf!soul

fluff, silliness, kinda suggestive

a/n: lowkey this was the fastest i conjured up a bf texts but i started to think too much abt it so it took a while to actually complete😵‍💫 but now i’ve done one for every member if you want a pt2 to any of them lmk i can maybe conjure up something (no guarantee tho🤫)

[seobsecrets]

i hope you’re doing okay comeback pls I love your piwon smaus they’re so funny

hi, i’m okay thanks for the concern and the compliment, i just had to lock in so i can pass this class and graduate on time but the comeback is coming sooner than you think🤫

[seobsecrets]

“new year, new us?”

you try to happy new year your way back into their life

a/n: happy new year everyone!! i hope 2026 is good to us all (and i hope none of you did this🤨) p.s. no contact pics cuz i got lazy

[antoncore]

hiii sorry that i’ve already posted this recently but wanted to post this on tags to see if there’s any interest but pls join the server <3 it’s mainly for followers/moots of mine but i’m opening it up to the wider community just pls sure you read the rules !!!

pls share this around to anyone who may be interested in joining and making friends ♡♡

[seobsecrets]

a girl like you

jongseob x f!reader

f2?, he’s down bad, reader plays hard to get

a/n: sumn slight🫩

[seobsecrets]

LONG DAYS, SHORT SUMMERS

about. plans to make the best of summer vacation keep getting thwarted as obstacles such as other friends, employment statuses, and your possibly dwindling friendship, get in the way

pairing. bsf!jongseob x reader

genre. coming of age, college au, angst

wc. 4.4k

more. other idols briefly mentioned (taesan & leehan, eunchae, sullyoon & jiwoo)

MAY

Staring at the disordered clutter in your room, a result of the move out of your dorm, was overwhelming. It had been a week since you had been back, and the daunting task of unpacking and reorganizing had been stewing in the back of your mind. 

With your current favorite playlist blasting through your speaker and a lot of mental resistance, you attempted to get to work.

A knock sounded at your door, and a familiar head of blond peeked in. 

The thought of leaving campus and coming back home hadn't been a favorable one. You'd be deprived of your freedom, your friends, and easily accessible recreational substances. But returning home didn't seem so bad when it meant easier access to your best friend, your favorite person in this town.

"Hi!" you greet him with a smile, all 47 of your teeth showing.

To say you were excited was an understatement. This was the second time seeing each other since you both returned from your respective campuses, and the first time you would be hanging out. 

Jongseob returned your smile before his eyebrows furrowed. "Since when do you listen to Nirvana?"

"Taesan put me on," you said. He was one of the new friends you made on campus. 

"Oh, but I didn't?" He put a hand on his chest, feigning offense.

Your hands went up in surrender. "My bad, my third eye wasn't opened back then, but I understand it now."

"You're just now unpacking?" he asked as he walked further into the room.

"I don't wanna hear anything out of you, 'cause I know your room looks worse than mine."

"Uh, actually, everything is packed away and my room is clean."

"Really?" In the years you've known him, his room was clean once in a blue moon.

"Yeah," he paused, scratching the back of his neck before mumbling, "my mom stood there until I locked in."

You couldn't help but chuckle at the imagery. "And it worked?"

"Too good, I didn't even notice when she left 'cause I was so locked in."

"Well, you’re gonna have to lock in again." You gesture to the mess of dorm room essentials in your room.

“Well, that’s just not what I came here for.” 

"Well, if you help me, then we can have time to do what you came here for."

During your clean, you both caught each other up with the events in your lives that you hadn't discussed in your weekly calls. You updated him on the lore of your friends and the drama they had the past semester, as well as the drama that went down to make you quit your job.

He updated you on the progress his friends had made since starting a band. He talked about how he almost failed a class because the professor never checked his fucking emails and hid grades. 

After cleaning and catching up for about an hour, maybe two, you decided to stop and continue another day and just hang out with him.

He actually wasn't much help; he just stood there playing with your stuff, occasionally helping you move something heavy or carry things. But the power of body doubling was strong enough that you definitely got a lot done with him there than with him not there.

"Bro," Jongseob said, a hand on his forehead, "are you not hot?"

You giggled. "Yeah, our AC is like fucked up; you can open the window."

Opening the window proved to be useless as it let in warm, still air. "Well, that didn't really do shit."

"Oh, I think we have a fan somewhere." 

When you left to get the fan, he occupied himself with the trinkets in your room. As he examined your figurines and collectibles, he picked up one of your favorites. It was a collectible toy car, one of those expensive, very realistic ones, with working wheels and doors.

Wanting to take a look inside, he pried one of the doors open, and it came clean off, falling on the desk. He gasped, his heart dropped thinking that he broke it. He remembered when you got it; you were so excited nothing could have ruined your mood.

You returned with the fan, and he braced himself for your reaction.

"Um, I think I broke your car..." he sheepishly presented the car and the detached door.

"Hm? Oh, that's been broken." 

Not the reaction he was expecting. He still felt bad, so he offered to fix it for you.

But you just said, "Nah, it's cool, I think it had a good run."

Again, your nonchalance was not at all what he was expecting.

"...You're not gonna have a breakdown?"

You chuckled and plugged in the fan. "I can just buy a new one."

He was shocked at this new view, but if you weren't upset, why should he be?

When the fan is on, Jongseob pulled his shirt over the fan. "Ooh, yeah, now that's what I'm talking about."

You playfully shoved him to the side. "You're hogging all the air."

He walked back to sit on your bed while you positioned the fan to face the both of you before joining him. "I kinda don't wanna go outside this summer. It's gonna be so hot," he said.

"Yeah, but at the same time, we need to make up for all the time lost, so we should go out."

"I agree."

"We should do something..." you gesture with your hands in a curve motion.

"Something..."

"I don't know, something interesting to say for icebreakers when we go back; something that will make our peers think we're so cool."

"What? Like, skydiving?" 

"You're forgetting there's a wealth gap between us."

"Wealth gap is crazy; just get a job, bro."

"Uhn-uhn, not this summer. I've got the rest of my life to work."

"Right, right. Oh! Lowkey, I was thinking we go to Summer's Peak this year, but I don't know if that's interesting enough for you."

Summer's Peak Festival was a festival that his family and yours went to almost annually growing up. But in recent years, a combination of being car-less, broke, and/or busy working kept you and him from going to the festival.

"Yes! We're definitely going this year. We need to make the most of these three months."

He grimaced.

You sat up to look at him. "What's that face mean?"

"Well, I'm studying abroad for fall semester so, we really have until mid July." 

You gasped. "What? This is— we gotta unpack this." You probably shouldn't have been surprised since he has expressed interest in studying abroad in the past but you didn't know he was actually going to do it so fast so soon. "First, oh my god, you're studying abroad and I didn't know? Second, you mean we only have like two months together?"

"Come on, it's not like I'll be gone forever; I'll be back in... November." 

"November..." you repeat in an exasperated tone. "Well, now we really have to make the most of the time we have."

"Don't worry, two months is plenty of time."

Being apart for four months and having to make it up in half the time was saddening. On top of feeling sad, you felt kinda shitty for feeling sad because you knew he was excited. 

"So, where are you going?" You asked because you knew he wanted to talk about it.

"Spain. I'm excited, but I also don't really know anybody I'm going with."

"Hold on, you speak Spanish?"

"Yeah, I know ¿dónde está el baño?" he gave you a smug look like he did something.

"Buddy..."

❀❀❀

Under the leaves of a big tree, you and Jongseob laid on the gingham patterned blanket in true picnic fashion. After eating lunch (breakfast for Jongseob) you both felt like lazing around before attempting to do any activities. 

The full green leaves of the tree provided shade from the hot rays of the sun. Families playing with their children, teens hanging out, and the people zipping down paved paths on skateboards, roller skates, bikes, and scooters made the park feel even more alive. 

"What if a bird shits on me right now? What would you do?" Jongseob asks out of the blue, his arm over his face.

You briefly look up from the mobile game you were playing "I would laugh."

"You're a horrible friend."

Like clockwork, something dropped from the sky onto your blanket. 

You gasped, sitting up because it fell close to where your hand was resting. "What the fuck, you jinxed it."

"That's your karma." He laughed.

"This is your blanket, by the way,” you said, and his face dropped. 

"That reminds me of the time a kid sneezed on me on bus, boogers and snot just on my sleeve, and Leehan laughed so hard when I told the story, whole time, it was his jacket I was wearing."

Jongseob chuckled. "Which one is Leehan again?"

"The fish expert. Best friends with Taesan," you said. "Oh em gee, did I ever tell you how they almost stopped being friends because Taesan lost his phone and thought Leehan was lying about not having it?”

You go on to tell the story and talk about other shenanigans that you and your friends got into the past semester, and he listens. 

His responses come less than usual, but you figure he must be tired; he was still asleep when you came to pick him up earlier in the afternoon, sprawled on his bed with his phone and PS5 controller in the sheets next to him. 

A trio of skateboarders passed by and Jongseob gasped, "You know that one skate park by the beach? We should go." 

"Oh my gosh, yes! A road trip to the beach?"

He nodded eagerly. "Yeah, and then we'll meet people on the road."

"And then they'll tell us their life stories," you added.

"And we'll learn lessons from their stories," he added.

"Then we'll get to the beach."

"And swim some, stroll some."

"Then when we get to the park and meet the skaters—"

"They'll tell us their life stories,"

"Exactly, and then they'll teach some tricks and we'll skate into the sunset."

"This summer's gonna be a movie."

JUNE

Jongseob had a free weekend for what seemed like the first time that summer. He was excited to hang out with you that he declined hanging out with his friends.

That same weekend, Oscura, the best live music venue in town, was hosting a mini music fest. On impulse, he bought the two of you tickets to the show; he automatically assumed you'd be down since you enjoy live music and you had gone to past similar events at Oscura a few times together. 

He texted to tell you about the tickets.

j: are you free saturday👀?

y: i went to the beach with friends😛 be back monday!!

j: ah ok, have fun!

He realized the error on his part. Maybe he shouldn't have bought the tickets without confirming that you would be free first. But he couldn't help but feel a hint of duplicity on your end.

He wasn't upset at you for going to the beach (without him); he just wished you had told him before he got the tickets. 

❀❀❀

You were in the backseat of Taesan's car with Jiwoo and Sullyoon. The car was quiet save for the conversation about looking forward to going back to school between Leehan and Taesan. Jiwoo and Sullyoon were asleep on either side of you, using you as a pillow. The beach had exhausted everyone.

You were going through people's stories on Instagram. Most were your friends posting about the beach trip. Others were people you knew from high school or people who went to your university posting slices of their lives. 

Jongseob's story popped up. The first was a close friends story that showed a 0.5 back camera selfie of him and a girl in front of the open hood of his car with the caption "why tf don't ppl carry jumper cables anymore?? now we're stranded." 

The following posts were collages of pictures and videos he took of artists playing at a very-familiar-to-you venue.

You recognized the girl as his coworker. You had met her once before when you visited Jongseob's workplace.

The like you gave the post did not reflect your feelings at all. 

Why did he go with her and not you? Do coworkers go to concerts together? Are they even just coworkers now?

Whatever. You didn't care.

❀❀❀

Jongseob's car battery had died completely, and he was car-less for a moment. He had asked you to pick him up after his shift, so you were on your way.

The shop he worked at was a used books and records shop. It was filled with secondhand books, games, consoles, records, albums, etc., and gave a sort of retro nostalgic vibe. Sort of like it was stuck in the late 2000s or early 2010s. You, personally, thought it needed an upgrade.

You spotted Jongseob in one of the aisles, putting books from a cart to the shelves. His infamous coworker was next to him, and you hate to admit it, but it affected you negatively.

"Hey," you said, to make your presence known. It was more directed at him, but Eunchae gave you a little polite smile. To not seem like a bitch, you returned it.

"Hey, you're a little early. Gimme, like, 10 minutes?" He said.

A man came up behind you and said, "Excuse me, are you here to buy something? No? Then find something to buy or leave." 

"The fuck is his problem?" you asked when the man left.

Jongseob scoffed. "Swear, someone is always pissing in his cereal. He's not even managerial level."

"He's a dinosaur egg," the coworker said. It seemed a non sequitur to you, but it had Jongseob struggling (and failing) to hold back a laugh. 

"Mesozoic," he added on to the joke.

The feeling you felt was something familiar, like trying to walk on a sidewalk as a trio, but there was only space for a duo. 

You didn't stop thinking about the moment even in the car, when it was just the two of you on your way home. 

"Oh, can I get aux?" he asked, but he was already reaching for the cord. "I'm gonna put you on to a band that played at Oscura; I think you'll like them; they're called The Six."

"Like Daisy Jones?"

"Who's that?" 

"Never mind." Taesan would have got that reference. 

You tuned him out as he went on about the band, while your already down mood soured; and apparently it showed on your face because he asked, "you good?"

"Headache."

Maybe you and him were on completely different sidewalks.

❀❀❀

You laid on your stomach on Jongseob's bed, all your attention on the game of Fall Guys, while he sat against his headboard, deep in his head. 

As you played in the race, he looked at you, thinking before breaking the silence. "Lowkey, you never told me about your beach trip."

"You never asked," you said, quite frankly.

The blunt nature of your statement caught him off guard. Yes, it was true, but normally, he wouldn't have to ask; you would've just told him.

"I'm asking now," he offered.

"It was good," you said, your attention still on the screen.

That's all you had to say? No crazy stories about the shenanigans you and your friends had got into? 

He would be lying if he said he ever found the subject of your friends interesting; he didn't know those people, nor were they of any importance to him, but you seemed happy talking about them, so he let you. Though, he would sometimes tune you out, offering you reactive facial expressions and the occasional yeah's and uh-huh's.

But to be completely silent like this was worrying. He would rather hear you go on and on about something he didn't care for than have you feel you can't talk to him about anything.

He waited for you to say more, but all that followed were the sounds from the game. "That's good."

"Yeah."

There was no denying that the energy between the two of you was different. He tried his best to ignore it, but it was literally the elephant begging to be addressed. 

Your phone vibrated with the oncoming call of group Facetime. The quickness with which you discarded the controller to pick up your phone was... jarring, like you were waiting for an escape. 

There were only two other people on the call; the boy he recognized as Taesan and a girl he didn't know.

"Where are you at? That does not look like your room," the girl asked you.

"I'm at Jongseob's."

"Woah, the man, the myth, the legend," Taesan said.

"Is he there?" the girl whispered into their mic.

"Yeah, you wanna say hi?"

She gestured at you no, yet you still turned the screen to Jongseob, forcing your friend to say hi. "Oh em gee, hey!"

He returned the greeting with an awkward "hi." 

He didn't know how to feel about you talking to your friends about him because he had done the same. Though, the laughter and snickers that came out of your phone's speaker did not make him feel good. 

He played the game for you, struggling to keep up with the race, as you and your friends made plans to go clubbing. 

"Yo, me and Leehan are going to the flea market soon; do you wanna come with us? Wait— is that ok?" 

"Oh, you will be seeing me there." You sat up and began to gather your things.

You were leaving? Were you and him not in the middle of hanging out? What happened to making the most of summer?

As you walked through the door, the tension in his body released.

❀❀❀

"You're coming back Sunday, right?" you asked Jongseob for confirmation. 

He nodded.

His friends were having their first performance, opening for another band, and he was driving up to his college town for the weekend to support them.

"And then you're back to work." A sigh escapes you as you fall back on your bed.

He shook his head. "I took Monday and Tuesday off, but I'm going somewhere with Eunchae on Monday."

"Serious?" You sat up with a wrinkle between your eyebrows and your lips downturned. 

His eyebrows furrowed in the slightest. "Yeah, she's taking me somewhere. Don’t know where—"

You stood up then, looking down at him. "What the fuck? You're going out with her again?"

"Yes.” His answer came out a little sharper than intended. “Is that a problem?" He was going to tell you that she offered to take him out to repay him for taking her to Oscura, but your reaction told him you didn't deserve the explanation.

"I don't know, dude, you tell me."

"Okay..." he adjusted to plant his feet on the floor, "so you can hang out with your friends, but I can't?" 

You huffed. "I didn't say that. I'm saying that this whole summer, we've been saying 'oh we need to go out, we need to go out', and as soon as you're free, you wanna go out with Eunchae. You know I like live music, but you went to Oscura with her. How do you think that makes me feel?"

"I know you like live music, that's why I got the ticket for you, but you went to the beach, and I wasn't gonna let the ticket go to waste." He felt the uncomfortable heat of anger spread throughout his body. It felt like he was containing something that wanted to burst out of his chest.

"You could've resold the tickets," you shrugged indifferently. 

Your audacity was laughable. 

“Oh my god, you cannot be serious," he scoffed.

"I'm so serious, you could've resold the tickets and bought new ones when we were both free."

"So, I'm just supposed to wait until you're free to have fun?"

You throw your hands in the air in exasperation. "That is not at all what I am saying. Like, aren't we best friends? 'Cause I'm starting to feel like a second choice," you explained as you paced your room.

How dare you brush him aside to go hang out with your friends and then say he was the one overlooking you. He was sweating now. "You're only starting to feel like a second choice because you've made me the second choice."

"What?" The way your face scrunched up, one would think he accused you of spending all his life savings.

He folded his arms across his chest. "Did we not plan to go to the beach? Yet you went with other people."

"Well, it was a spontaneous trip that they planned."  

"Okay. But did you not just up and leave in the middle of us hanging out? Literally the last time we were together?"

"We weren't doing anything special."

"So what if we weren't doing anything special; you still left me for them." The air was heavy between you. "And I'm not saying that you can't be with your friends; I just need you to understand that I'm still here, and I would like us to spend more time together. I even don't care if we spend that time lying around doing nothing." 

He guessed his words held some weight because you went silent after that. But he felt he said his piece, so he got up and left.

JULY - AUGUST

Jongseob knew it was coming, the end of your friendship. Even before the argument.

It seemed you had found your people. The friends he had made and the friends you had made seemed to be in different worlds.

Though you would deny it, you changed a lot within the past year. You listened to Nirvana, when back then, you would skip any Nirvana song that came on his playlist. You liked things you disliked in the past, and you felt indifferent to some things you used to like. You didn't tell him every single thing anymore.

He didn't think it was a bad thing; people grow and change all the time, even he has. But it was clear the both of you were growing into different bubbles.

He laid in his bed, Frank Ocean's Blonde playing through the speakers. It was one of the albums you introduced him to. At fifteen, the only thing of substance was how the album sounded; he didn't really relate to or understand the lyrics; it was just vibes. But at nineteen, he knew more, he understood more, he had seen more, he had experienced more. And the lyrics hit closer to home.

Time flies, and things really do begin to blur as one gets older, and everything changes, and you either make peace with it or struggle with the reality.

When "Godspeed" played through, he felt a hurt he had never felt before. It was as if Frank Ocean made that song specifically for the moment Jongseob was experiencing. 

He had to let this go; it was what was best for the both of you. He had accepted that this was most likely the end of your friendship, but that didn't mean it hurt any less.

He wondered if you still listened to Blonde. Did you even listen to Frank Ocean anymore?

❀❀❀

Summer’s Peak Festival was as lively as ever. Groups of people littered the lawn, on blankets and chairs; the buzz of conversation; the heat of the sun; the latest pop music playing on the speakers before the live artists came on. 

It was hard to appreciate it in full when all you could think of was how much more fun it would be with Jongseob, despite being there with your friends. To simply say you missed him would be a severe understatement.

It had been three weeks since you last spoke to him. The events of that day had not stopped replaying in your mind. The things that were said and the things that should have been said had left you restless. Were you a bad friend? What did this mean for your relationship? Was this the end of your friendship? 

He was the number one person you would go to if you had any problems, but if he was part of the problem, then what could you do? 

"Isn't that Jongseob?" Taesan asked, pulling you back down to Earth.

Your heart dropped just at the mention of his name, and with how fast you turned your head, you might have gotten whiplash. Sure enough, there he was with Eunchae and three other people you didn't recognize, laughing amongst themselves.

A flurry of emotions tumbled in your spirit; jealousy, happiness, melancholy, but most prominently, yearning. The way your chest tightened, it was as if your soul was reaching for him to prevent him from leaving completely. It hurt so bad.

In hopes of ameliorating your friendship, you decided to go talk to him. Halfway there, you thought that maybe it wasn't a good idea and almost turned back around, but his eyes fell upon you, and like you had been caught stealing from the cookie jar, you froze. Your heart jumped, and the heat of anxiety spiked through your body. The way his smile faded made you want to sink into the ground and die.

He said something to his friends before meeting you where you stood. 

You muttered your awkward hi's and stood saying nothing.

“You dyed your hair.” You pouted a little, bummed that you weren't there for the process and the initial reveal.

He ran a hand through his silver-blue hair. “Yeah.”

"Looks good."

"Thanks."

More silence between you.

“You’re leaving Sunday?” You asked. Anything to ease the painful, emotional discomfort between you.

“Monday.”

You nodded. “Text me when you get there?”

He nodded. “Sure.”

One of his friends called out to him, gesturing and telling him where they were headed.

You felt you were keeping him from his friends, so you wrapped up the conversation (if you could even call it that). “Talk soon?”

His eyes briefly trailed away before he nodded. “Okay.”

As you walked away to rejoin your friends, you missed that he watched you for a second or two too long, his eyes rheumy.

He never texted you. 

You never texted him either. 

That was the end of your summer with Jongseob. And the end of your friendship.

It didn't really hit you until classes started again. During icebreakers, when asked how you made your summer count, you could only think about how you barely spent time with Jongseob, like you said you would, before he left for Spain.

Maybe you were a shitty friend to him.

The summer was too short. And time blew past you like harsh winds. And you missed him so much. But even when he came back, things would never be the same.

Why did time have to be so cruel and unforgiving?

a/n: hi, hope you enjoyed!! feedback and constructive criticism are always appreciated