Do you really love yourself?
Many times in the past, I believed I was operating out of self-love. However, it was only when I began focusing on personal growth and engaging in shadow work and inner healing that I came to understand that my previous perception was not accurate.
Sometimes, we believe we're being kind to ourselves because we do things that feel good or seem helpful at first. We might do these things because we want to feel better or think they're good for us.
To become aware that something might not be truly self loving, we need to pay attention to how things make us feel in the long run. If something we're doing ends up making us feel unhappy, stressed, or even harms us over time, that's a sign that it might not be coming from genuine self love. So, it's important to regularly check in with our feelings and reflect on whether our actions are bringing us real and lasting happiness and well-being.
These are some examples you may relate to, where we might think we're operating out of self-love, but it may not truly be the case:
Self-Care:
Binge watching TV shows for hours, thinking it's self-care, but it leads to neglecting other responsibilities.
Regularly indulging in unhealthy foods as a form of self-care, but it negatively impacts physical well-being.
Spending excessive amounts on shopping to feel better momentarily, mistaking it for self-care, when it strains finances.
Oversleeping every day, believing it's self-care, but it disrupts daily routines and productivity.
Isolating yourself from others under the guise of self-care, but it can worsen feelings of loneliness.
Skipping regular exercise, thinking you're prioritizing relaxation, but it affects overall health in the long run.
Using substances like alcohol to cope with stress, thinking it's self-care, when it may lead to dependency.
Personality:
Constantly seeking validation from others to feel worthy, assuming it's part of your personality, but it indicates low self-esteem.
Always being the peacemaker in conflicts, believing it's your personality, but it might be suppressing your true feelings.
Refusing to ask for help in any situation, thinking it's part of your personality, but it can hinder growth.
Being overly competitive and comparing yourself to others, thinking it's just your personality, but it can lead to dissatisfaction.
Being excessively introverted to the point of avoiding social interactions, thinking it's part of your personality, but it may contribute to isolation.
Always putting others' needs before your own, assuming it's your personality, but it could be detrimental to your well-being.
Constantly seeking new experiences and never committing to anything, believing it's your personality, but it might hinder progress.
Career:
Overworking and not taking breaks, assuming it's necessary for career success, but it leads to burnout.
Staying in a job you hate because it's what you're used to, thinking it's for the sake of career stability, but it prevents growth.
Avoiding asking for promotions or raises, assuming it's humility, but it might hold you back professionally.
Pursuing a career path solely for financial gain, thinking it's practical, but it can result in dissatisfaction.
Accepting workplace mistreatment in the name of job commitment, thinking it's dedication, but it's detrimental to mental health.
Focusing solely on climbing the corporate ladder, believing it's the key to success, but it may lead to neglecting other important aspects of life.
Not pursuing opportunities for skill development, thinking it's contentment, but it can hinder career advancement.
Romantic Relationships:
Ignoring your own needs to constantly please your partner, believing it's love, but it leads to codependency.
Staying in a toxic relationship because you're afraid of being alone, thinking it's love, but it harms your well-being.
Sacrificing your own dreams and goals for your partner's aspirations, mistaking it for love, when it hinders personal growth.
Avoiding conflicts at all costs, assuming it's love for peace, but it prevents healthy communication.
Idealizing your partner and overlooking their flaws, thinking it's love, but it prevents realistic understanding.
Rushing into a new relationship immediately after a breakup, thinking it's moving on, but it might be avoiding emotions.
Disregarding your own values to align with your partner's, believing it's love, when it compromises your authenticity.
Friendships:
Going along with friends' decisions even when you disagree, assuming it's loyalty, but it might lead to resentment.
Pretending to enjoy activities you dislike to fit in, thinking it's maintaining friendships, but it's not authentic.
Ignoring your own needs to help friends excessively, believing it's friendship, when it impacts your own well-being.
Staying friends with people who consistently bring you down, thinking it's loyalty, but it negatively affects your self-esteem.
Avoiding confrontation with friends, assuming it's maintaining harmony, but it might lead to unresolved issues.
Letting others take advantage of your kindness, thinking it's friendship, when it's actually being taken for granted.
Faking interest in others' conversations to avoid feeling left out, thinking it's friendship, but it prevents genuine connections.
Personal Growth:
Staying in your comfort zone and avoiding challenges, thinking it's self-preservation, when it hinders progress.
Setting unrealistic goals for personal development, believing it's ambition, but it can lead to disappointment.
Constantly seeking external validation for your progress, assuming it's self-improvement, when it should come from within.
Overloading your schedule with self-help activities, thinking it's maximizing growth, but it might cause overwhelm.
Avoiding reflection on your mistakes and shortcomings, thinking it's self-compassion, when it prevents learning.
Perpetually focusing on your flaws without celebrating achievements, thinking it's humility, but it can lead to low self-esteem.
Ignoring your emotional needs in favor of pushing through challenges, assuming it's resilience, when it might hinder emotional well-being.
Physical Health:
Skipping Meals to Lose Weight: You might think that skipping meals will help you lose weight quickly, but it can lead to nutritional deficiencies and harm your body's energy levels.
Overexercising: Working out excessively with no rest can seem like a way to get fit, but it can lead to injuries, exhaustion, and even weakened immunity.
Crash Diets: Trying extreme diets that drastically cut out food groups might seem like a fast way to lose weight, but they often lack important nutrients and can be harmful to your body.
Ignoring Sleep: Prioritizing work or entertainment over sleep might seem productive, but sleep is crucial for your body to recover and function well.
Relying on Supplements Alone: Thinking that supplements can replace a balanced diet might seem convenient, but they're meant to complement, not replace, healthy eating.
Ignoring Pain: Believing that toughing it out through pain or discomfort is a sign of strength, but it's important to listen to your body and seek medical attention when needed.
Not Staying Hydrated: Forgetting to drink enough water might not seem like a big deal, but proper hydration is vital for many bodily functions and overall well-being.
