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Thursday nights are for Critical Role, mute the tags because I am obnoxious. Besides D&D, other things currently include theatre, mysteries, dinosaurs, nature, nerdery, and ecopolitical nonsense. Sometimes I liveblog movies- I try to both warn and consistently tag them.

[knuppitalism-with-ue]

Results from the Flocking #paleostream

Kank, Velociraptor, Plumadraco and Chloridops regiskongi

[quietwingsinthesky]

friend is trying to convince me this is a common experience and I do not believe her, so

Do you expect to be paid back if you pay for something for your friend while you’re hanging out? (I.E. a ride, a meal, a trinket.)

Yes, always

Yes, but only if it’s above a limit of money

No, never

I don’t buy things for my friends.

bald button

Remaining time: 2 days 15 hours

For a more illustrative example, say you go to the movies with a friend and you buy them popcorn, do you expect them at some point to send you money back via cash or through an app of some kind? Will you be upset if they don’t?

[taavicleric]

I do still remember the $2 I gave to an acquaintance in 7th grade that he promised to pay back (bus fare). Because I did not anticipate that when I *gave* him the money, but once he promised to pay it back, I have not forgotten in spite of that having been 30 years ago. A friend and I are in a silent Midwestern war where we are both fiercely determined to pay for the other one. If we go out to eat, because we are oppositely gendered and not awkward with each other, people don't generally offer to split the check. This means that we both have to find a window of weakness to pay the check before the other one. So, if you promise to pay me back, I will remember. I may not even care, but I will remember. And if you attempt to pay for me, I will try to even the score later. But holy shit, "You owe me for the popcorn, send me cash?" That's gotta be some kinda rich people behaviour.

[netherworldpost]

Tumblr’s fucking insanely poor programming on the mobile app ads is doing absolute power numbers on my desire to use my phone less in spaces where I need to wait for something.

Tumblr has joined the war against advertising on the side against advertising.

Which is.

A bold choice.

[netherworldpost]

“hey atty why did you leave the tech space years ago?”

normal people reasons

[netherworldpost]

The solution is simple as meatballs on a frozen lake.

Tumblr is a Saas — software as a service, this term is important to link what is going on. Twelve seconds of research will show you how cheap it is to add a user to a Saas. It isn’t $0.00 but it’s a fraction of a cent. The big cost is the initial load.

It’s $7 a month to pay for Tumblr Premium.

That’s fucking insane.

It should be $1-2.

You will obviously need a significantly higher volume to make the same amount of cash. I have an idea. Stop introducing shit people don’t want.

I am here on this site because of the perverts and artists and people with interestingly unhinged takes on media and/or life events.

There is no feature I crave on Tumblr beyond maintenance and a “reply via email” because I hate having inboxes outside of my email.

This is a business. I get it. I do not want this site to go under. I want the crew that runs it to be compensated well.

And.

There is no content Tumblr as a business is producing that I give a shit about. I am here still because it is the most convenient meeting ground to be weird and to enjoy weird and discover weird.

Premium experiences are so goddamn overrated and over bloated.

You have lost the plot and gotten way too big for your britches.

Charge fairly, provide the core service intended, and get out of the way for the mechanism that makes your product worth it — in this case, the evolving nonsense essays, comments, hilariously specific and targeted hate mail that feels at least half loving, and comics.

This place is wires and a collection of bad decisions in a group project for a teacher that is themselves about to get fired. It’s special because of the people. Not the fucking software.

Look into my beautiful eyes, tumblr staff.

Ban the nazis.

Stop banning trans people for being trans.

Keep the lights on and the floors swept.

Understand that every feature to compete with another network misses the point that this is place is a dive bar.

You bought a dive bar. You can’t make it into a gastropub. Your attempts to bring in headlining entertainment is going to fall on deaf ears, we are here to see the local folks live their theater kid nightmare orgasm comedy fest.

This brought to you by counting how many ads I had to scroll past on my phone while stuck in traffic where the ad purposefully slowed down the scrolling mechanism.

You are not going to annoy me into supporting this business.

Any money I have / will in the future spend here is because it serves the purpose of putting my weirdos in my life and me in theirs. My tolerance to the bullshit terrible programming extends only as far as the path takes to replace this with newsletters and mailed zines.

[netherworldpost]

Because I love data (being a big ol' nerd), let's do some math.

CURRENT PRICE FOR TUMBLR PREMIUM: $7.00

ESTIMATED NET RETURN (($7 x 0.971) - $0.30): about $6.50

This accounts for basic credit card processing fees of 2.9% + $0.30. Something at Tumblr's size should be able to negotiate better, but we are being malicious in our calculations, and saying "you get the basic rate" to prove a point.

SUGGESTED PRICE FOR TUMBLR PREMIUM: $2.00

ESTIMATED NET RETURN (($2 x 0.971) - $0.30): about $1.64

So

I ungenerously estimate the current Tumblr premium gets them $6.50/revenue versus my suggested $1.64/revenue.

Seems bad?!

Let's do a bit more math.

How many users at $2/base ($1.64 profit) would it take to cover the income of 1 user at $7/base ($6.50 income)?

6.50 / 1.64... 3.96341463415

I will uh go ahead and

round up

to 4 users

So. 1 user = $6.50 (6.50 x 1) profit. 4 users = $6.56 ($1.64 x 4) profit.

we'll just let the ol' tumblr keep them there six cents and call it even an even swap

Now.

To be fair.

To make this work.

You have to attract 3 more users (1 versus 4) to pay.

This feels like a lot!

Until it doesn't!

Because personally.

I would pay $2.00/month to keep this site running. Feels like a rounding error in my books.

I flinch at $7.00/month. Feels weird to pay this much for a site that so regularly has "hm, this disasterous new feature is pissing me off."

:)

But

as always

what do i know.

To satisfy my various spoken and unspoken life/art studio ambitions I offer this as a free consultancy lesson to anyone making a patreon or paid newsletter or whatever thing -- where you have a digital product that does not require shipping, handling, etc.

You can make it expensive and aim to have a small audience.

You can make it cheap and aim to have a large audience.

I personally am really fond of cheap digital services because it feels like support when I realize I have not had time to keep up. When I do have time to keep up -- "Oh this is a great value"

And when I do not, I see the bill -- "Ah, I am glad THING exists. Happy to throw them a few coins."

In respect to my soul, please use this lesson exclusively for such things as

art

music

thinly-veiled self-insert fan fiction

non-tax evasion accounting practices

joyous pornography or other erotic silliness

history (all years available)

claymation

cartooning

books (novels or things longer or shorter)

poetry (erotic or non)

coffee

fiction

non-fiction

non-non fiction

non-fiction fiction

and, of course, real reviews of faux products that should exist, but do not, due to limitations of time, space, money, reality, magic, technology, theology, methodology, organic chemistry, biology (marine, terra), cosmology, topology and/or cartography

anything fun

thank you and good night

for at least

twelve minutes

[silverhand]

Engrave "You bought a Dive Bar. You can't make it a Gastro Pub." on the Tumblr HQ walls.

[oxypill]

[taavicleric]

Well. It's over a year late, but I am going to get the oil changed in the car on Saturday. It's really only two thousand miles over, which is not great, but I've pretty much only driven it in town since last July. This has happened because the LAST time I got the oil changed, I did it in my hometown, got it done by a local company that's been there since the 1940s. My options in fucking Denver were the dealership that lost my car and gave it back to me with a dead battery. Then there was the tire place that also does other stuff- they let me sit in their dealership all day, twice, and a third time they tried to give me my car back the day before I went on a trip with something on the inspection sheet that said, "Not safe to drive," in big letters and I had to be like, "You were gonna let me walk out of this place without telling me? You are going to fix this right now and you are not gonna charge me." They argued they had to charge me. I went to a place that was WAY up out of my way and that guy did right by me right up until his place closed without warning, and that's when I went back to the other place, which is when they forgot about me for the entire day and still expected me to pay them for their service at the end. So. My last oil change was the last one I trusted. I can't do it myself because it's illegal to do it on the street and I'm not allowed to do it in my apartment's garage (I also don't really wanna crawl under the car- last time I did that was when Dad made me crawl under the car and change the oil on our 89 Dodge, I was smaller then). I know every garage is full of half-trained stoners who may or may not have any idea how a car works. And I know that this is my fault for choosing to own a vehicle made past 1980 that I can't service myself. But my trust is so goddamn low. I'd kinda like to trust things again- businesses, people, my expectation is that somebody's gonna fuck something up and that my best efforts to avert fuckery are in vain.

But I gotta take the car in, so I will try. And if they try to sell me tires, I will cut a bitch.

[hedgehog-moss]

[foldbaron]

[evilscientist3]

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

[ttechniic]

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

[evilscientist3]

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

[ttechniic]

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

[evilscientist3]

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

[ttechniic]

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

[siderealglimmer]

[taavicleric]

[pulpsandcomics2]

It’s A Glorious Morning To Start A New Adventure! by Ron Lemen

[woolandflax]

This one’s for the tumblrinas

[clarisliadon]

lets make cookies guys!

Sugar

Butter

Eggs

Flour

Salt

Baking powder

Vanilla extract

Chocolate chips

Voting ended on17h

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Available:

C'Mon, You Know You Wanna...

Do it. Click that button. You know which one.

[taavicleric]

[nayarazune]

she's a lloy i believe in her. (based on what aabria said in the cooldown)

[lake-erie]

this year’s prom theme is… *opens envelope* Great Lakes Invasive Species And What Boaters Can Do To Stop Them

[football-in-tuxedos]

And the subject of tonight’s ecology panel is *turns on powerpoint* Enchantment Under the Sea

[taavicleric]

The economy *must* be shit, I'm hearing from the Rockies two or three times a day and a company I got comp tickets from an actor for an event 9 years ago sent me a membership renewal email.

That *may* just be that they got a new Marketing manager, but, 9 years kids. Do not bother people after 5 years, especially for entirely the wrong type of engagement. No.

Are you the same people in charge of ghosting job applicants?

[drachenmagier]

I was doodling mushrooms. The dragon was not planned. :D 

Prints and Commissions Twitter - deviantART - Insta - Kofi

[taavicleric]

Email from someone regarding our non-refundable programming, "It's disappointing you don't allow families to change their plans!" No, lady, it's disappointing you need to throw a hissy fit at me because you failed to do your due diligence in January and are experiencing consequences for your decisions. Because you had every opportunity to slow your roll and read shit. You changed your plans to the tune of kissing good bye $250 bucks- I didn't make you do that. We're not unusual, most of the places around here who offer refunds still don't offer them once May 1st hits, so, like, lady, by every metric you are getting what you're entitled to. The only person who isn't is me, who doesn't need to deal with your bullshit, in fact.

[cosmicanger]

Sonya Sklaroff - Rainbow Flag, 2017 - Oil on panel

[accessible-art]

[ID: An oil painting of a rainbow pride flag attached to the fire escape of a red brick building. End ID]

[redjennies]

I'm pretty lenient about it because his skintone is relatively light and I know from experience, it's realistically uneven in a way where depending on where you color pick from the shade you get is going to vary, but sometimes I see Azune art and I'm just like "that's not Azune. that's Caleb Widogast in armor."

[redjennies]

to illustrate: can you spot the difference between the three Azunes with skin tones picked from the official Critical Role art vs the one pulled from a picture of improv comedian and professional dungeon master, Brennan Lee Mulligan?

[taavicleric]

Would Azune have chosen that paper-white, fur-covered, constantly-sweating body? No, he wouldn't have!