being on the aro spectrum would be a lot easier if being single wasn't made to feel like a literal death sentence
it's all very well to say "friends are just as important as romantic partners" but in practice this simply is not the case lmao. you can share a flat with a friend but it's expected that sooner or later that friend will meet someone and will move out to go live with that person instead. if you're hanging out with friends you can bring your partner along but your friends can't come on a date night with you because that's third-wheeling and it's weird. you can know somebody for most of your life and still be second-best to some guy they met on tinder 6 months ago. you're meant to just accept without question the fact that your friends will prioritise time with their partners over time with you. being single is treated like a problem that needs to be fixed. we casually use expressions like "just friends" or "more than friends". everything we read and watch reinforces the idea that romantic love is what gives life meaning and therefore your life is meaningless without it. i try to keep my chin up but my god it is bleak out there
The timing of this post across my dash couldn't be more perfect. Someone I considered my best friend for many years has been sort of ghosting me for the past few months in favor of a romantic partner. While I am ecstatic for his new relationship, the radio silence is a bit of an eye-opener. I truly don't think others really understand how much friendships mean to some people. Some people like me. I long for friends to do things with like others long for a life partner, I guess. It gets lonely in a different way.
official aromantic post
