Alex Hudson

Alex Hudson. Sergeant. Architect student. Charlton University.

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

Wish I had the strength | Ella

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

His stress levels had been up and down all week. He had no idea how to best process this. One minute he was scared, the next he was totally smitten, and whenever Danny was around, he hardly even thought about any of it, because it all felt so normal and safe and good. Beyond good. Seeing Ella shake her head his shoulders sagged down just a fraction. “uh.. thats good. I.. yeah I know.” He said, mumbling a little. He was nervous about telling her. He’d be nervous to telly anyone no matter how much he trusted them. But it was clear he would need to talk this out in order to move forward. Alex nodded twice, rubbing the dirt of his shoes before stepping all the way inside, following her into the room. He stood there, awkwardly, in the middle of it, scratching the back of his neck. “I kissed Danny.. or.. technically we kissed. The other day and I..” He swallowed hard. “You know I normally don’t make a lot of fuss about my personal life but..” 

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

Alex nodded as the boy asked. “He’s my best friend.” Now, at that he couldn’t help but smile, as that wasn’t all Danny was to him anymore but still. They would always be best friends. The hope in his tone, in his features, made Alex unsure if he should scowl or not. Hadn’t they talked? Or maybe they had but only in a superficial sense. He’d been to preoccupied focusing on how his friend felt about all of this to be taken with how much he’d told his ‘new’ brother about himself. “You know he’s been alone when it comes to family for a while so this is all a lot to take in. But you should know that there’s no guy who loves more fiercely than he does. No guy as loyal and pure.” 

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

Catching up ∞ Carter&Alex

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

The lack of siblings growing up had Alex looking outward a lot. As an only child he’d always been very attuned to other kids, protective, good at sharing and taken with justice for each individual. Then as a sergeant all his tendencies to father, big-brother or protect others had only intensified. With Carter, he got to do a little bit of everything. Thought he tried to be a big brother rather than a father. All of the responsibility coming with that wasn’t something he was quite ready for yet. Shaking his head softly at mister actor, a wide grin bouncing in on his face. He couldn’t be happier to have his little brother here. they had a hell of a lot of catching up to do. He had a lot of things to tell C, things he hadn’t wanted to say over the phone, things he was still figuring out and dealing with. He didn’t know how to tell. He didn’t know how to say ‘my dad died’ out loud, to someone who actually knew of the man, who wasn’t just a stranger wondering but who knew him and who he cared about. Alex was pretty good at not talking about it. Good at avoiding leaning on others, dealing alone. But he also knew that he didn’t have to when it came to Carter. He didn’t have to keep it all inside. “There’s this nice bar downtown. They serve food as well as alcohol.” He said, nodding a little as he spoke, catching up so they could walk side by side. “So how do you like it here?” 

[onlyaleksi-blog]

Aleksi stared at the coffee cup in front of him as he tried to process the conversation he had with Danny. It still barely seemed real, and he was incredibly nervous that Danny wasn’t going to like him. That Danny already didn’t like him. “I can’t believe I found my brother.” he muttered to himself as he ran a hand through his hair. How did you even begin to create a relationship with a brother you didn’t meet until you were both adults?

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

Alex walked into the Java Jolt, about to walk straight for the counter to order his usual cup of herbal tea to go, when he spotted a familiar face. Mildly so, but with what his best friend had told him, Aleksi’s face would soon enough be a familiar one. Changing course, he walked over to the table where the boy was sitting, sliding into the seat opposite him. Usually he would ask if it was alright, but the boy was already speaking. “I imagine its been quite a shock. Danny told me.” 

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

“Thank you.” Alex nodded, sliding is jacket off and hanging it on the rack. His eyes went around the apartment, seeing how similar it was in outline to Cristinas old one, but naturally, differently styled. Alex walked over to lean a little against the kitchen counter, his attention moved to the stove. “I’m alright. What are you making?” He inquired curiously. Back in the army he used to cook, but now a days Alex couldn’t always find the time, and living in the dorms always meant a crowded kitchen. 

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

Catching up ∞ Carter&Alex

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

Alex always tried to find a neat balance, between backing Carter up and still not being able to fully approve of some of the choices the other boy made. Especially when you were older, considering yourself a big brother, and not a very reckless one a that. What he embraced was that differences gave unique qualities. Carter brought a lot of qualities, and ha a lofo f them, that Alex admired, even if they were not his own. "No? Well I’m sure they’ll know you soon enough. And they’ll experience so much more than disappointment.” He said, his tone light but also a little firm. Self worth and self image was always going to be something to struggle with, but when you loved someone you never  gave up on them or thought anything but the best of them. Alex nodded a little. He knew carter had a good reason to be very distrusting of parents, in a constant need to break free. He himself had never experienced that, never felt like that with his own parent, but he tried to empathize. “You never wanted one. I actually hadn’t planned on one either.” he shrugged a little. One of life's mysteries. Things happened that wasn’t in your plan. “Oh I’m paying. Whatever you want kid.” He promised cheerfully. Money was rarely a problem for Alex, having earned a daily sum for his services in the army, money he’d rarely had to use while enlisted. Walking down towards the town Alex gave Carter a pat on the back, feeling extremely content now that they were reunited. 

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

And high up above or down below When you're too in love to let it go But if you never try you'll never know Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

The moment somehow felt defining, having him reexamine or try to recall how kissing his ex had felt, because as he wouldn’t say that neither kiss lacked anything in terms of passion or that familiar warmth he always felt, there was a distinct difference. Alex thought hat difference might be in that he was unsure of himself in the aftermath of this one, but at the same time, the feeling of safety, of being loved without hesitation, that one was stronger than any fear or uncertainty. And none of those feelings were connected to Danny. As his eyes never wavered from his friend, he was able to notice things he had in the past but not given the same weight. Like how incredibly blue his eyes were or the fact that his smile was, charmingly, a little crooked, and standing this close, Danny smelled really really good. And with that his own smile became a little quirky, happy. A shiver went down Alex’s spine at the whispered words. “That sounds very promising indeed.” He said, his voice a little uneven with not well hidden excitement and curiosity. “Oh come on you could never be a monster. But to be fair I am probably pretty biased on this.” He chuckled a bit, enjoying the steady pressure of their hands pressed together. “I’m actually going to be so bold as to insist on those.” Alex replied, smirking just a little. Danny really was the only one who so easily got out this side of him. An Alex who could joke and laugh and tease. “I’m counting on you being here, because I can’t do this without you.” He nodded. “I would like that. You know me, my head is always ten paces ahead when maybe it shouldn’t be. And maybe we are but.. I do want it with you. It’s the only thing I’m sure about right now. Then.. What are we waiting for? Let’s explore, see where this goes. I will.. And it’s not that hard when I’m with you.”

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

He kept his smile, as always Alex looked sort of solemn when he was working out and in a good, and only semi-brooding mood. Working out was one of the things that actually made him smile, show that he was content. “It absolutely can. We can up the milage next time, see how far we can push ourselves. Right you are. There should be buckets of water lined up just for us.” 

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

“Your mom is a wise woman. Uhm.. whats the respectable time for one to move on after a break up? Would you say?” 

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

Wish I had the strength | Ella

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

He was probably disturbing her. Why wouldn’t he? The polite thing to do before showing up at someones place was to call. Check to see if it was okay, if the person would be home. But his head was too preoccupied to be concerned with such details. Which was why Alex had come. It was selfish of him thought. He never went intentionally to another person with his problems. He always solved them by himself, in silence, without relying on anyone or bothering anyone. This time was different however. This time he simply could not do it alone. He managed a weak, clearly stressed, smile as his best friend appeared in the door. “Hi. I’m not disturbing you am I? I just.. I need to talk. To you..” 

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

Wish I had the strength | Ella

He was sick and tired of looking at his own walls, his own ceiling. Alex had been doing a lot, a whole lot, of thinking lately. Well in between having Danny over. Ironic how the thing he was wringing his brain over was the thing he couldn’t stop doing. But the other boy was the best damn distraction around. The second he was left to himself thought, it felt like his brain was on fire. He had to talk to someone. He had to say things out loud and have that one person listen. The person who wouldn’t judge him, whom he trusted.. who knew him and would keep their conversation private. Who no matter what wouldn’t think of him differently. That person was Ella. Which was why he was at her apartment, softly knocking at the door. “Ella? Are you home?” Alex asked, raising his voice a little so she might hear him. 

@ellaxpeters

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

"Not sure if talking about it is going to make any sort of difference, you know? With heartbreak it just is what it is. I'll say this however, I thought I'd be broken for a long time this time around , but it appears I'm not."

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

Catching up ∞ Carter&Alex

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

Alex shook his head smiling at that still familiar smirk. In his book Carter was famous for them. And they suited him very well. Thought talking about fathers ensured that he’d think about his own. Something Alex would admit to doing often, especially these days when life proved to be challenging or filled with a sense of uncertainty. The lingering grief and sense of loss intensified. At that moment he couldn’t remember if he’d told Carter or not. Probably the latter. Alex wasn’t known for oversharing, even less so when there were miles separating friends, and not minutes. “Oh I don’t know, nice way to spread the Winston name is it not?” He replied in the same manner, but growing serious a second later. “They must really want you to have a decent education. And they probably think they know best. Most parents do.” He shrugged a little. Carter’s were particularly insistent, his father being remembered in Alex mind as a ruthless and highly unlikable guy. One you’d love to punch some sense into. Nodding Alex stepped back to look at the kid. No matter what Carter would always be a kid in his eyes, one he’d always look out for, stand up for and care for. “There’s probably a lot of things for us to catch up on.” He agreed, giving the younger one a mild smile. “How about we go and get something to eat? Maybe a beer? Now I can actually buy you one without getting frowned upon.” He grinned a little at that. The sense of family Alex had when with Carter was one he’d always cherish. He didn’t have any true living family, this being as close as he would ever get. 

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

Alex nodded, as much as one could moving at this pace. “No no, but its been a while since I’ve had someone to run a set distance with, and not just run until I had to stop.” He explained easily. 

[declansinclair-blog]

@sergeantalexhudson

Upon hearing the knock at his door, Declan finished sending the email he was rereading and then rose from his seat to greet the person on the other side. “Come on inside,” he gestured into the apartment upon opening the door for Alex. “Everything should be finished cooking in a moment. Would you like something to drink in the meantime?”

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

Alex shuffled his feet a bit waiting. He was glad to get out a little if he was honest. This week had just been both a hard and confusing one. And despite himself he didn’t regret it or look back at it with much else than a weird sense of happiness. As the door was opened he pulled out a smile. “Hello. Yes, thank you.” He walked in, dispersing of his shoes and jacket. “Thats great. I wouldn’t mind a glass of water?” 

[sergeantalexhudson-blog]

There was just no way around it. No way to avoid it. And Alex couldn’t decide if he was floating on a happy cloud, or searching in mild panic for answers he didn’t have. The minute he admitted this was more, a lot more, than a kiss, it was complicated. But then again, having known Danny like not a lot of others got to, Alex had no doubt this was more than a kiss for him. Which meant complication was unavoidable, yet still something he wanted to use as little energy on as possible. The last thing he would ever be responsible for, was hurting his best friend. But this raised a lot of questions he’d never asked himself before. About who he was, about love, about how life might be. Hearing Dnny laugh always brought a smile to Alex face, no matter his current mood or thoughts. “Thats proving a little hard to do because.. you’re giving me some. World domination as opposed to dancing? I’m sure a lot of us would benefit from having you as a ruler. But never getting to see you dance again? Does sound a little.. less of a world. Don’t you worry, I’ll be in it. Alright. I’ll remember to stock up on those thought, just in case.” Alex was still struggling to reign in his breathing, to remind himself his feet were securely planted on the ground. No kiss he’d had with any girl had left him this bereft. “That works for about twelve hours.” He kept staring into Danny’s eyes. Everything about him, not just his words told Alex what he’d been suspecting, what he’d known but avoided giving too much thought. “You won’t have to. I just.. there are some things about this that I need to figure out. Because I didn’t think this was in the cards for me. I didn’t even think love was on the horizon much less right in front of me. But most of all I need to figure out how to do this and not mess it up. I know you believe that I won’t, but its.. challenging having just been left behind by someone I thought was my girlfriend, not to delve on the fact that I might be responsible for that in some way. I know its not fair to put that on you..”