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Sep 4, 2022

freckledivy-deactivated20230729

Are you ready, angel? | CH14

𝐀 𝐇𝐚𝐳𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐨𝐧

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: It all begins when Somi declares that she's on a sex ban for three months. You remind her of this when your life is turned upside down. And when everything finds its place again, you reconnect with him in a way you never would have expected.

You're new to this avenue of pleasure, Hyunjin isn't. Who can be better to guide you through this journey of self-discovery? And maybe Hyunjin has a few things to learn about himself.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Hyunjin x Reader (female)

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 11.3K

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Nothing really, it's just very domestic. And developing feelings but I don't think that's a warning 😂😭

𝐀/𝐍: Hi? Is anyone out there? I feel more nervous than posting my first ever skz fanfic here, but we are here with one of my favourite chapters. Also, the chapter title is from Harry Styles' song 'Late Night Talking' which I absolutely love and recommend everyone to listen.

𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @justoutfromdead @amelialistree @aerastus @purehyunida @danyxthirstae01 @moasworld @c-atitos @hyunee1 @bangtanskz @jisungsleftcheek @uwusforateez @keehoslove @hyynee @a-person-with-void @castielsfrillywhiteknickers @mtkdukart @ninjaleeknow @hiraemy @minaamhh @sermed @97lovestay @kpophoe22 @lyralurexrattle @arraby2 @internetmemeofficial @byunhoebaek @baekxhwa @dancingstan @hyunjinspark @vitrealislux @lotus-dly @midsoulz @chiefbananaearthquake @koovvie @dazikie @fwess

(Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list)

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Hospital starts back on a sunny Tuesday morning at the end of August, and the first two weeks of the new session fly by, you are just trying to keep up with your new classes, new wards, new patients.

Hyunah’s back to daycare on her regular Monday through Friday schedule, and you’re back to spending your evenings on lesson plans and gradings, once Hyunah is down. Hyunjin had to adjust to your schedule, which he’s thankfully been great about, and it’s worked well that he’s now able to look after Hyunah alone, allowing you some time on that first weekend to relax properly.

Now, two weeks in, already back in the swing of things, you're able to commit yourself to a bit more than that, which brings you and Hyunah again to Hyunjin’s house bright and early on a Saturday morning.

This time, though, it’s only to pick him up. Beeping the car’s horn to let him know you’ve arrived, you take a deep breath to steady your nerves.

It’ll be the first time you and Hyunjin have properly spent time together since Yeji’s words at dinner a couple of weeks ago, and you're not sure how you will manage with the focused kind of attention you know you are sure to receive. In the midst of all the new admission of residents' craziness, it’s a revelation that’s never strayed far from your mind, that always draws front and centre as you try to drift to sleep.

He realised he might not always have you.

They are words that make your chest ache, that drive a simple desire to wrap him in your arms and promise him you're not going anywhere. That he’ll always have you.

But that’s not something you can do without opening the door to a far more complicated conversation, one that at the very beginning of all of this, you promised yourself you wouldn’t indulge in thoughts of.

Those very thoughts are interrupted when the passenger door opens, and Hyunjin hops in, smile bright and oblivious.

“Good morning to my two girls, how are you both?”

That greeting does nothing to refocus your thoughts, but thankfully Hyunjin’s looking at Hyunah, and not you. By the time they finish their important discussions outlining Hyunah’s breakfast and the new teddy Grandpa gave her, you have steadied your breathing, and your heart rate is almost normal.

“And how are you, angel?” Hyunjin asks, as you put the car in drive and ease back onto the road.

“Probably not quite as good as Hyunah, but still good. I’m looking forward to today. A different kind of chaos than hospital’s been.”

“I’ll remind you of these words once we’re four hours into Ikea and wanting to tear our hair out.”

You laugh. “You do that.”

“Maybe I can surprise you with a teddy of your own, as incentive.”

“I think you might want to get a refresher on the definition of surprise, but I certainly wouldn’t say no to a gift.”

Hyunjin clucks his tongue. “Smartass.”

Thankfully, it’s easy enough banter to continue from, and it doesn’t take long for Hyunah to insist on joining the conversation. By the time you all arrive at Ikea, you’re feeling mostly settled, and ready to tackle the task ahead.

Hyunah strapped in the stroller, you and Hyunjin both wearing sensible shoes, you make your way into the enormous building.

And despite all the craziness Ikea always entails, it’s actually a lot of fun. Hyunjin is a good shopping companion, happy to look where you are, happy to give the things that don’t interest you a miss. He helps you keep Hyunah occupied as you make your way through the various sections, and stays close so he can learn to place bets on the likelihood of passersby’s Ikea meltdowns.

You chat easily in between those bets, you telling him about Brittany’s upcoming birthday, your trip to Jeju island with Chan at the end of the month. The project Hyunjin’s part of at work is well on its way, and he tells you all about that, which of course gets them talking about a recent bill proposed by the government, which would have implications for public schools.

By the time you reach the children’s section, though, you’re all game plan. Both Hyunjin and you have got a list of items to buy, Hyunah ready to act as a tester, and a notebook to sketch out dimensions of particular furniture combinations.

Hyunah herself does as well as can be expected, only wandering far enough away that you have to round her up three times, and as a reward Hyunjin buys you both something small. It’s just what you needed to get through the collecting of flat-packs, game of Tetris in the back of your car, and, once back at Hyunjin’s, Hyunah’s down for her midday nap in his bed. This is when the pain which accompanies constructing furniture begins.

Despite the confusion and frustration, though, it seems that Hyunjin can make even this fun.

You are laughing most of the way through the instruction pamphlet, and then your combined efforts to secure various pieces of timber to end up with something like a bed. And through it all, while you try not to let yourself think too hard about it, you can’t help but recognise just how domestic it all is.

If he were anyone else, you’d believe Hyunjin’s behaviour today was flirtatious. An easy sort of playfulness between you and him, but with enough warmth and fondness in each interaction that your mind draws back to Yeji’s words. Of Hyunjin’s feelings towards you, years ago. Of his recent worry, that the two of you may lose what you have with each other now, if a third party got involved.

It’s a situation that has limited ways forward, none of which you feel ready to pursue.

So for now, for today, you simply enjoy the resounding feeling the morning’s events have drawn — a steadying happiness, that Hyunjin’s in this for good, with Hyunah, and maybe with you, too — and in the rare moment of quiet that falls between the completion of the bed base and the beginning of a set of drawers, you reach out and grab his hand.

Surprised, he looks over, expression softening in response to your own.

“You’re really in this, aren’t you?”

It’s more a statement than a question, yet he responds with steady assurance. Shifting closer, Hyunjin smiles, draws you under his arm in a hug. “I’m really in this, angel,” he says, low and earnest. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Nodding, you let yourself linger for a beat longer than you probably should.

“Good. Me neither.”

* * *

While Hyunah’s sleeping, Hyunjin and you manage to get the bed and a set of drawers set up, which you think is a pretty decent accomplishment.

Hyunah’s reaction is one of utter delight and excitement, and you can see from the smile spread wide on Hyunjin’s face that it brings him the same happiness that it does you. With the purple walls and night sky dotted on the ceiling, a giraffe growth chart to measure her height, it’s starting to come together so well, and you manage to entertain Hyunah for the afternoon whilst getting the cubby holes built, too. Hyunjin’s growing collection of toys and books are moved to Hyunah’s bedroom, and after a run through the washing machine, the animal-themed bedding is made up.

Hyunah even demonstrates her impressive acting skills by settling into her bed with Occi, and with her eyes closed, letting out some soft, exaggerated snores.

Beside her, Hyunjin laughs, knocking his shoulder with yours gently. “I think that means she approves.”

“Oh, definitely. It bodes well for sleepovers. As long as she has Occi, of course.”

“Of course,” Hyunjin says softly, lips tugging into that smile you have become familiar with. Like your daughter is an inside joke that you share. “So, do you think that’ll be…soon?”

As far as hints go, it’s not very subtle, but you let him have it. “Yeah, I do.” With Hyunah in the room, it’s not the right time to go into things completely, but you still take his hand, lower your voice for only him. “Thank you for going at my pace with everything. I really do appreciate it.”

Hyunjin smiles, nods out to the hallway, and you step out together, just out of Hyunah’s hearing range. “Three months ago I didn’t even know about her, Y/n. I’m still just…amazed, by it all; enjoying the time I’m able to spend with her. I don’t want to push anything prematurely, I’m just grateful that we’re getting there together.”

You smile, duck your head on the slight heat you feel at your cheeks, but thankfully you're saved from responding to Hyunjin’s earnest words by your daughter, crashing in to interrupt the two of you, hugging both Hyunjin and your legs.

The rest of the afternoon is spent mostly playing in Hyunah’s new room together, and after an early dinner, you drive home, falling into bed as soon as your baby is down.

It’s been an exhausting day, both physically and emotionally, and yet your mind doesn’t allow you the rest your body craves. Too buzzed with the events of the day, of the past weeks, the complicated situation you have somehow found yourself in despite your best intentions, it forces you to properly think about it all.

Hyunah is of course still your primary concern, and while the past three months have built the foundations of a good relationship between you and Hyunjin, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still require time and effort, or your proper attention and care. You don’t want to do anything to risk that relationship developing, and these feelings that you can’t shake. . .they’re dangerous.

They put you in something of a middle ground: unable to commit, yet unwilling to move on.

It’s an unsustainable place to be in, you know. You just can’t figure out how to move forward. A decision either way feels too permanent, but it’s one you will eventually be forced to make.

It’s that thought that stays in your mind the next day, when Hyunjin drops by to pick Hyunah up for the day, to give you some time to work. When, at Hyunah’s insistence, you end up staying at your place, Hyunjin keeping her occupied in the lounge while you settle into the spare bedroom-slash-office with your laptop open to Powerpoint slides to prepare, and the various record sheets to guide you.

When Hyunah’s down for her nap and you have lunch together on the deck outside, enjoying the early September sun and the salad rolls Hyunjin made, falling into an easy conversation.

Because it’s this stuff that’s getting to you, that your relationship extends past a shared bond over your daughter. That’s such a huge part of it, but it’s not everything. If it was, you would have a far easier time compartmentalising your feelings, boundaries in place that told you exactly where they stand.

But it’s these moments in between, just the two of you, where you can talk like you did three years ago. Easy banter and venting about work, shit-talking new movies and laughing about your families and friends. Like you aren’t just two people who by chance, had a child together. Like instead, you’re friends getting closer, learning more about each other, growing more comfortable with one another. Like you’re friends who could, in any other situation, take another step in their relationship.

But you’re not, so this unsustainable middle ground is where you are at for the moment.

He stays for the afternoon, and you join him and Hyunah at the playground for an hour, too, and when you mention that people are coming around to watch a movie tonight, he decides to stay for that, too.

Apparently you are not the only one hyper-aware of the full weekend spent together, because Chan joins you in kitchen, once he’s had a chat with Hyunjin.

“So,” he says, helping you with the various bowls of chips you really don’t need any help with. “You hung out with Hyunjin all of yesterday and all of today, too?”

It’s a mild tone that will make him a great lawyer, just a hint of accusation. Growing up with Chan, he’s used it on you for years, through every middle and high school crush. That he’s using it on you now, because of Hyunjin, is a little disconcerting.

“Shut up,” you say, avoiding his gaze as you grab some drinks from the fridge. Expectant silence follows, and finally you look up to find Chan watching you, eyebrows raised, a hint of a smirk on his lips. “I said shut up.”

Placating, he puts his hands up. “I’m not saying anything. But if I was, I would ask if this is…you know. A thing.”

“A thing? What are we, twelve?”

“That’s not an answer.”

“And you didn’t actually ask a question.”

Chan laughs on a huffed breath; he’s used to your ways. But that also means he knows how to wait you out. Crossing his arms over his chest, he simply arches a brow and watches you.

It takes half a minute, but you do wilt. “Fine,” you say, moving to his side and dropping your voice low. “So I have a little crush, okay? I’m going to work it out somehow.”

“Well, shit.”

“What?”

“I didn’t think you’d actually admit it. You really like him?”

And because you can never really lie to Chan — the boy you grew up with, who’s as close to a sibling as you’ll ever have — you simply release a shaky breath, and admit it aloud for the first time. “Yes, I really like him. It’s confusing and stupid and most likely going to blow up in my face, but…I like him. And do not tell Somi this.”

“Don’t tell Somi what?”

Glaring at Chan as he laughs, you hope he’s recognising the 'fuck you' you're conveying, for not giving you a head’s up that someone was heading for the kitchen. You turn, finding your other best friend, expression expectant but only mildly annoyed.

“Y/n and Hyunjin spent the entire weekend together,” Chan explains in a theatric whisper.

Somi’s smile comes quick and wide; she looks very much like that cat that caught the canary. “Oh, really? How domestic.”

“And why do you look so pleased about that? I thought you’d be worried. Don’t think I’ve missed the looks you two have given each other in the past.”

Somi rolls her eyes, as though you’re incredibly slow on the up-take. “That was at the beginning, and when you were being a real idiot. But it’s been months now and you two are good. He’s settled into your lives pretty much completely, Hyunah is clearly comfortable with him. Why not be proper friends with him?”

Chan chuckles, leaning back against the counter to settle in, his gaze flicking between you and Somi expectantly.

It’s a cue that Somi’s quick to catch onto. “Unless there’s more to it…”

“There is,” you admit, clearing your throat. The words are difficult to say, but you can’t deny that already you're feeling better, having confessed to Chan. “In the sense that I may be actually developing feelings for him.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Somi looks at Chan, a brief shared moment you’re not sure how to read, before she moves closer, takes your hand. “Well, that’s okay, isn’t it?”

Her voice is gentle, which only confirms your belief that this entire situation is a fucking mess. “Is it?”

“Of course it is.”

“Seriously, Y/n,” Chan says, stepping in and drawing you under his arm. It’s an immediate comfort, and you let yourself relax against him, your nerves easing for the moment. “You’re allowed to have feelings for people and you’re allowed to find them confusing. I know everything is really complicated, but don’t beat yourself up, okay? You aren’t doing anything wrong.”

“You’re not,” Somi agrees. “It’s — it’s not really possible to control your feelings anyway, babe.”

You laugh on a shaky breath. “You’re telling me. If I could…”

“You’d what? Avoid them completely?”

“It would be easier that way.”

Chan squeezes your arms. “Easy’s not always better, Y/N. Not to sound like a book of inspirational quotes, but it’s often the things that are the most difficult that are the most rewarding.”

“Did something happen that’s brought all this on?”

Yeji’s words draw to your mind, but you don’t get a chance to share them, interrupted by the woman herself. You invited her and Seonghwa when Hyunjin decided to stay, and Yeji’s brought booze.

“And I interrupting something?” She asks, eyeing your little huddle.

“Y/n was just telling us about an asshole husband at her hospital,” Chan says, seamlessly.

It’s not the best of excuses, but Yeji seems to accept it well enough. “Want me to beat them up for you?”

“Is that a new service you’re providing?” Somi asks, quirking a brow.

Yeji grins, sharp. “Ha. I wish. Jinnie reminded me to be polite and bring something.” The eye roll is all fond annoyance. “It’s just some beers. Can I pop them in your fridge?”

“Of course,” you say, and when Yeji moves to do so, turning from the three of you, you mouth a 'thank you' to your two friends.

It’s the only privacy you get for the remainder of the evening, each new arrival beginning to crowd your living room, taking up spots on the couches, the pillows scattering the floor. The usual bickering begins, about who gets Hyunah’s attention first, about what movie they are going to watch and whether crinkle or smooth chips are superior, and you smile as you bring in the snacks — a mix of both — so grateful to have these friends of hers.

Felix and Zara are sharing a quiet moment, while Ryujin is arm wrestling Wooyoung (no contest), Somi refereeing, Emily and Changbin egging them on. Soojin and Chan are chatting with Hyunjin — currently holding Hyunah on the couch — and Hongjoong is also getting Yeji and Seonghwa’s input in buying a motorbike.

You distribute everything evenly among the group, and, looking up, catch Hyunjin’s eyes. His smile is slow but warm, and he nods his head to the space beside him on the couch. A flutter grows in your chest, and you go to sit next to him, smiling when Hyunah immediately climbs onto your lap for a hug.

“Traitor,” Hyunjin murmurs, making you laugh.

You kiss Hyunah on the head, watch when not five seconds later she wriggles out of your arms and hops off the couch, in search of Wooyoung, who she quickly launches herself on. “Apparently to both of us. No loyalties, that one.”

“I think we can give her a pass, because she’s so cute.”

You nod. “We did make a pretty cute human.”

It’s a statement that’s met with a thick sort of silence from Hyunjin, and when you look at him properly, an expression you can’t read crosses his face. Clearing his throat, he manages to keep his words simple. “We did.”

You're not sure if you're imagining the drop in his voice, and you divert your gaze, feeling your cheeks heat. It’s not something that comes about when you simply refer to Hyunah as their daughter, but in mentioning the making of her, memories that are entirely inappropriate for an evening with friends flood back.

Distracting yourself, you ask the group whether they’ve chosen a movie yet, is grateful that a vote’s taken place and Tangled has been deemed the winner. Their options were limited, with Hyunah here, but at twenty five, you will admit you still love the Disney animation.

The lights are dimmed and everyone settles in properly, and you start the movie whilst hyper-aware of Hyunjin’s presence beside you. His arm brushing against your own, his breath, drawing in and out.

A few days ago, it might have made you spiral a little, but Somi and Chan’ earlier words really did reassure you. This whole thing is confusing, and complicated, but that’s okay.

You will work through it, find a way forward, and everything will be okay.

And in the meantime, you can simply project all those fuzzy feelings onto Rapunzel, and live vicariously through that princess’s happy ending.

***

In the midst of the hospital work, studying and the general business that’s associated with Hyunah and Hyunjin, Brittany’s party sneaks up on you quickly.

It’s a week before the celebrations that you finally admit it’s time for the dreaded task: dress shopping.

Thankfully, Hyunah’s outfit is already sorted, a new, sweet dress she will probably stain with food and who knows what else within ten minutes, but Brittany insisted.

Now, that just leaves you.

Somi and Ryujin insisted you come along for a day of shopping, and since Hyunjin’s looking after Hyunah, it means you have got no excuses to bail. It also means that the text he sends you midday — whilst you're sitting in a cafe waiting for your two friends to bring over their order, a reprieve from changing in and out of what feels like dozens of dresses already — 'Is this okay?' accompanied by a photo of him in dark trousers and a very nicely fitted shirt, is completely unexpected.

A photoshoot is not what you anticipated in the middle of his day with their daughter, though given the time, Hyunah will be down for her nap now.

The text is followed quickly by another, this one an unnecessary explanation: 'For Brittany’s party, I mean'

You pull the photo up to full screen, taking it in with a far keener eye than you know you should. But he just — he looks fucking good. The white of his shirt — rolled up to reveal toned forearms — perfect against his light skin, his hair nice and loose around his face, smile as charming as ever.

Somehow, you manage to type out an appropriate response, but you are quick to look back at the photo, eyes roaming and —

“Whatcha looking at?”

You flip your phone screen-side down, looking up at Ryujin and Somi, both watching you with amusement.

“Nothing.”

Your voice is way too high. Somi arches a brow, sitting down with two coffees, though she doesn’t pass you yours. “Uh-huh. Want to try that again?”

“Yeah, you look all flushed and guilty,” Ryujin says. “If you don’t tell me, I’m just going to assume porn.”

You roll your eyes, but hand Ryujin your phone. “Don’t judge me.”

“Huh. Is this porn for mums? I’m used to far more nudity.”

Leaning over, Somi gets a good look too. Cackles. “Oh, you are so fucked, babe.”

“Shut up.”

“Seriously. When you look like that after seeing a fully clothed photo of a guy? I hope you’re more discrete in real life.” Ryujin’s smile is teasing, but when she hands back your phone, it softens. “I’m guessing I’m out of the loop on this. Are you into your baby daddy?”

You don’t respond for a moment. This secret you have been harbouring may not really be a secret anymore. “It’s complicated,” you say, smiling at Somi when she passes you your coffee. “But, yes, I guess I’m into him. I’m at that really fun stage of liking someone where you suddenly notice how cute they are and how nice their laugh is.”

“Oh, that dreaded stage. I remember with Hongjoong, I could barely look at them when I realised I had a crush. He still teases me about it now. Hey, that could be you in three years!”

You laugh, Ryujin’s enthusiasm always appreciated. “I don’t know if these are feelings I’ll pursue, Ryujin.”

“Oh. Why not?”

“Everything with Hyunah, it just makes it all so complicated.” Clearing your throat, you shake your head. “Anyway, enough about that. Tell me about the trip you guys are going on at the end of the year.”

Ryujin thankfully takes the redirect, and the three of you spend the rest of your coffee break chatting easily, before continuing on your quest for a dress. It’s three stores and one potential purchase later that Ryujin finds a hideous lime green gown that she insists she must try on, and Somi sidles up to you and gives you a shrewd look.

“You know what’s interesting? These misgivings about your feelings have nothing to do with reciprocation. Makes me think something’s happened to support my theory that Hyunjin’s into you. Care to share?”

“It’s not what you think. Just something Yeji said.”

“Huh. So if you actually sat down with Hyunjin and talked things through about Hyunah, it’s something you could pursue.”

You swallow. “And how’s it going with your unnamed crush?”

Somi smirks, rolling her eyes. “Deflection only proves my point.” Pulling out a dress, she hands it to you. “Try this, it’ll look good on you.”

Unfortunately for you, Somi is right. It’s a gorgeous ivory dress that hugs your curves tastefully, ending just below the knee. It's strapless and low cut, making you look elegant. With a heel and some jewellery, you knows it’s an outfit that’ll come together perfectly for Brittany’s party.

Still, there was the one she found earlier. . .dark and mid-thigh, if you want something with a bit more edge.

“Here, flip for it,” Ryujin says, pulling out a coin from her wallet. She’s still in that awful dress, having taken many photos to send to Hongjoong. “I never use cash anyway, so this is probably the best use I’ll get from it.”

You laugh, but figures it’s not a bad way to come to a decision. You’d been contemplating buying both and deciding on the day, but that would mean you’d have to come back in a few weeks to return the unworn dress, and you have got better things to do with your time.

“Alright, I’m game. Heads for this one, tails for the other.”

“See, easiest way to make a decision.”

Ryujin’s words make you pause as an idea hits you. A really stupid, juvenile idea. That this coin flip could decide more than just your dress for next week. Like what to do about Hyunjin.

You can’t stay in this middle ground forever, but the option available to you are ones that you know you won’t make a decision on, without something to push you. Now, the thing pushing you will be fate. In your head, you assign the Hyunjin-related options to heads.

Ryujin flicks it up with her thumb, right there in the change room, and anticipation prickle in your chest. It feels almost like fear.

“This is so stupid,” Somi says, as you all watch, but she’s still the one to find the coin where it lands on the ground, before looking up at you and Ryujin with a sharp grin. “Good. You look hotter in this one anyway.”

* * *

You do look hotter in this dress.

It’s later in the afternoon, and you’re trying it on again in your bedroom. Paired with the light-coloured heels you bought for Ryujin and Hongjoong’s wedding last year, and some simple gold jewellery you rarely wear, you really do look good.

A pleased smile tugs at your lips, giddiness fluttering in your chest.

The chance to do yourself up like this rarely presents itself. You spend most of your time in clothes that won’t cost hundreds in dry cleaning when the inevitable spaghetti sauce or paint gets smeared on them, and it’s easy to forget when you're focussed on so many other things in your life, that you actually clean up quite nice. Gorgeous, even.

Your rare moment of self-admiration is interrupted when you hear the door open, the telltale sound of little feet running up through the house.

Squeaking, you call out to Hyunjin and Hyunah that you will just be a minute. He texted to let you know they were on their way, but time must have gotten away from you. Undressing as quickly as you probably ever have, you get the dress back into the garment bag and chucks on a far more casual one, before coming out to greet Hyunah.

She’s very excited to tell you about her day with Hyunjin, and you listen dutifully whilst sharing an amused look with the man in question, that earlier giddiness surging again.

You love these moments, the silent acknowledgments of the wonderfulness that is your daughter.

It doesn’t take long for her to find more interesting things than chatting with her mum, though, barely two minutes before Hyunah is bounding back to her bedroom, likely to pull out more toys than those already scattering the lounge. You have not had a chance to clean up this weekend, but thankfully Hyunjin’s used to the mess associated with Hyunah.

In the month that he’s started looking after her by himself, his place has definitely seen this exact state of disarray.

It’s a step that’s flown by, and one that’s thankfully gone incredibly smoothly. Hyunah’s excitement in seeing Hyunjin hasn’t wavered even a little, and she’s only grown more comfortable with him with each passing day. It’s something that you become very conscious of, both in relation to the progress of everything, but even more so, since properly processing your feelings towards Hyunjin.

And after today’s decision, you doesn’t want anything to affect his developing relationship with Hyunah. Which means that this next step you have been thinking about is one you still want to take.

It’s as you’re cooking dinner together a little while later, you getting some sausages on the grill, Hyunjin chopping up veggies for a salad, that you broach the topic.

“I think we should tell Hyunah,” you say, watching as he roams through your fridge in search for something.

“Tell her what?”

His voice is absent, distracted, and you can’t help but smile. Still, you want him paying attention here, so you wait for him to be upright — cherry tomatoes found and in hand — and looking over at you. Earnestness must be clear in your expression, because he immediately straightens, gives you his full focus.

“About you.”

He goes still, his brows drawing up, his eyes growing intense, and you feel your heart catch in your throat. He’s going to be happy, you know, but there’s still a part of you buzzing with nervous energy.

And then, after a few quiet seconds that feel far longer, he smiles.

It’s slow, but grows wide and bright, the intensity of his dark gaze one of gleaming hope. Happiness. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you say, smiling now, too, even feeling a familiar pressure behind your eyes. Clearing your throat, you nod, reiterate the point. “Yes.”

Somehow, Hyunjin’s expression grows even happier, and it’s with a choked laugh that he steps forward and pulls you into a hug. It’s warm, and tight, and filled with an emotion that fills you up entirely, threatening to overwhelm. But you manage to steady yourself, even when his face finds the crook of your neck and you feel his breath hot against your skin. Even when he’s holding you so tightly, like you have just given him the world.

His eyes are glassy when he pulls back, his smile having softened. “When do you want to do it?” He asks, voice rough with emotion.

“I was thinking tomorrow. Maybe by myself, just so she’s got some space.”

“Yeah. That’s a good idea.”

“I can message you after, and if it all goes smoothly, maybe you could come around for dinner.”

“That sounds—” His words catch, and he has to clear his throat. “That would be great, Y/n.”

“And she’ll be fine, Hyun. It’s an adjustment, but she’ll be fine.”

He nods. “I know. It’s just…scary.”

“I’m hoping the good kind of scary.”

“Definitely.” He releases a shaky breath, running a hand through his hand. “It’s — she probably won’t get it that much, will she? What it actually means? It’ll mostly mean she calls me…”

His gaze trails to the lounge, no doubt finding Hyunah. “Dad,” you finish for him, soft.

“I don’t want to force her into calling me that, but…it’d be nice if she did.”

You take his hand, and when he meets your gaze again, his eyes are burning. “She will, Hyunjin. She’s young, and maybe that makes it more difficult to explain everything to her, but it also means she won’t remember you not being here. I don’t want to hide it from her, but…adjusting is easier when you’re younger.”

Hyunjin nods, his expression relaxing. And then, just to torture you, he leans forward to press a kiss to your forehead, his thumb running over the curve of your cheek. You feel your face flush under the attention, but thankfully when he pulls back, it’s to focus back on preparing dinner.

Given the slow breaths you see him take, you are guessing it’s to process everything, but that suits you just fine.

You need your own moment to do the same.

By the time dinner’s ready and you’re serving up at the table, you have both returned back to more even ground. Still, you notice the wonder that shines in Hyunjin’s eyes, as he helps Hyunah with her food, and later, when he’s helping her get ready for bed. It reminds you of how things were at the very beginning, the awed disbelief that creased his expression with every new interaction, the way he’d quickly get lost in his own thoughts, transfixed by his daughter.

It’s something that only intensifies the feelings you're dealing with. Because while they’re not the reason for them, there’s no denying that watching Hyunjin and Hyunah together, seeing how fond he is of her, makes your heart swell with utter warmth and amazement.

He leaves after a cup of tea on the back deck once Hyunah’s down, with your promise to keep him updated on tomorrow’s conversation, and it’s only then that you finally return to your room, to see the deciding dress once again. Laying in its garment bag on your bed, it feels vastly more important than just a lovely piece of clothing to be worn next week.

You pick it up and hang it in your closet, releasing a slow breath full of nerves.

Ivory dress.

Make a move.

* * *

It isn’t until the next morning that your own anxieties begin to properly flare.

Last night, focused on Hyunjin and his response to the news, it was easy to ignore your own feelings about telling Hyunah. Not that you are anticipating it will go poorly, but it’s a big change, and it’s more than a little daunting knowing you will be the one trying to explain it all in a way that a two and a half year old will understand.

To get the day off to a good start, you make one of Hyunah’s favourites for breakfast. The apple pikelets are thankfully still a hit, and after, when you ask Hyunah if they can sit on the couch together, she even crawls onto your lap.

“Button, Mummy wants to talk to you about something,” you begin, carding your fingers through your daughter’s soft curls. “About Hyunjin.”

Hyunah grins instantly, which is certainly a good sign. “I like Hyunje! He reads me books.”

“Yes, he does.” He’s a great storyteller, actually, often drawing you into the children’s book as much as he does Hyunah. “Well, I know that Hyunjin likes you a lot, too. He tells me how much fun it is to play with you and read with you. Which isn’t surprising, because you’re so much fun.” You tickle Hyunah for a moment, just long enough that she giggles, that cheeky grin of hers making an appearance. “Now, button, you have a lot of family that loves you. Me and Grandma and Grandpa. You’re our precious little button.

“But there are more people who love you, too. I know that Hyunjin loves you a lot…that he wants to be part of your family, just like Mummy is.” Hyunah nods slowly, looking up at you curiously. While you're not sure how much of this she’s properly understood, Hyunah does at least know what parents and family are, which at least makes this conversation a little easier. “Well, Hyunjin is your daddy, button. He’s one of your parents, like Mummy is, and he loves you just like Mummy does.”

Hyunah’s brow furrows, one of her small hands pushing a stray curl from her face. She looks confused, but thankfully not upset, and you watch closely as she ponders what she’s just been told.

It’s barely ten seconds before she looks back up at you. “Okay! I wanna play.”

It almost startles a laugh from you, but not quite. You simply smile, and press a kiss to Hyunah’s forehead. “Okay, baby. I love you.”

“Love you,” Hyunah echoes, before sliding off the couch in search of something more fun: toys.

You leave her to process, bringing your laptop out to start some work with a much-needed cup of tea. Still, it’s not easy to concentrate, your attention often drawn to Hyunah in the lounge room, in an attempt to discern how she’s feeling. While not visibly upset, she’s also not quite as boisterous as a usual Sunday morning would have her. But that’s probably to be expected; while the news of Hyunjin being her father doesn’t carry the weight now as it would if she were older, you know Hyunah still understands it’s important.

Thankfully, it’s not news that has broken her, because within the next hour she gains her usual energy and cheer, two things that only grow when you suggest they have lunch in the park today.

“Button, do you think you’d like to see Hyunjin today, too? He could meet us at the park for lunch, and play with you in the playground.”

“Yeah!” Hyunah says, not looking up from where she’s giving her patients their prognosis. You've already taken a bunch of photos of her with the little stethoscope and the line of soft toys she’s making her way through. “He push me high.”

You laugh, though it wavers with the flood of relief. “He does, baby. Higher than I do.”

Pulling out your phone, you make the offer to Hyunjin.

Y/N: it went well. im not sure just how much she understands but she knows what i told her was important

Y/N: we’re going to the park for lunch and she said you can come too

Y/N: we’ll probably be there around 11. does that suit?

Hyunjin: I’m so relieved to hear that

Hyujin: Thank you

Hyunjin: 11 is great. Just your local? I’ll see you then with some dessert

Y/N: you don’t need to thank me. and yes just our local

Y/N: see you soon xx

With desserts covered, you pack some fruit, sandwiches, water, and a picnic rug. Sunscreen rubbed in and hats on both your heads, you walk beside Hyunah on her balance bike as you head for the park.

You’re not the only family with this idea, but you're still able to find a nice spot under some shade to set up. It’s straight onto the playground after that, and despite your inferior skills in pushing Hyunah on the swing, you're still recruited after barely five minutes of doing rounds on the slide.

You see Hyunjin before Hyunah does, approaching the playground looking far more nervous than you've seen since…well, since the very beginning of this.

Easing Hyunah to a stop in the swing, you point Hyunjin out to her. “Look, button, your Dadda’s here.”

She lights up at the sight of him, and asks to be let down from the swing. As soon as she’s unstrapped and back on the ground, she races over to him, squealing with delight when he swings her up into the air, visibly relaxing with the positive greeting.

“Hey, monkey,” Hyunjin says to Hyunah as you approach, bringing her down to his chest and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Hey, angel.”

“Hey, Hyun. Did you find our spot?”

“Yeah, I recognised the bike, dropped off my bag. Got some yummy treats for you, Hyunah.”

“Yes!”

You and Hyunjin laugh, eyes catching over Hyunah’s head. “Shall we keep playing a bit longer, button? Then we can go sit down and have some lunch?”

Hyunah nods, wriggling in Hyunjin’s arm to be let down, and again, as soon as she’s on the ground, she’s off. This time it’s to the climbing section, which is followed quickly by another go on the slides, and then a game of tiggy, Hyunah dissolving into giggles whenever you or Hyunjin pop out of nowhere and surprise her.

It’s enough to tire you out quickly; you're honestly not sure where Hyunah gets all that energy from. Thankfully, though, Hyunjin’s suggestion for lunch is met without complaints, and you head back to your picnic rug. And somehow, all settled together, everything feels normal. Hyunah doesn’t act any differently towards Hyunjin than she usually would, still happily accepting the pieces of fruit he hands her, still laughing when he uses his funny voices.

And when he reveals their desserts — ice creams he’s kept cool with an ice brick — she’s over the moon.

It still melts as she eats it, getting all over her hands and face, but it’s the thought that counts, and Hyunjin volunteers cleaning her up before they head back.

Since he drove, he offers them the three minute lift home, and with all the excitement and sugar, Hyunah’s asleep by the time he parks out front.

Hyunjin’s the one to grab her from her car seat, and you watch as he cradles her to him gently, murmuring soft words so that even in her sleep, Hyunah knows that she’s loved.

After settling her into her bed for a nap, you offer him a beer out on the deck, giddy warmth swelling in your chest when he eagerly accepts.

With all your attention last night and this morning focused on the announcement, it’s only now that your fuzzy feelings draw back to the front. Somi was mostly right, yesterday, in guessing that your trepidations aren’t largely based on a worry that Hyunjin doesn’t feel anything in return, but you're not so confident to not feel even a little nervous. Hyunjin’s actions over the past months, Yeji’s words, have eased them, but it’s still a vulnerable position to be in, to bear your feelings and hope that they’re treated carefully.

It’s not something you're ready to do now, and it wouldn’t be fair of you to bombard Hyunjin with it today, either.

In the coming weeks, once you've had proper time to think things through, you can broach the topic. See whether he’s receptive — though you think he will be — and discuss the careful process that would be…dating, you guess.

Right now, though, you can simply enjoy his company. And of course answer his Hyunah-related questions.

“I don’t have a good segue,” he says as he takes the seat beside yours. “But can you tell me how it went this morning?”

Despite Hyunah’s warmth today, you can still hear the nerves in his voice. The depth to which he wants this to go well. So, you tell him — make him smile when you mention his superior story-telling skills and Hyunah’s easy acceptance that he is part of her family — and after reminding him of how she was upon seeing him at the park, he lets out a long breath.

“She was pretty excited to see me,” he says, his eyes finding yours, an uncertainty in them — as though he needs you to corroborate.

“She was,” you agree, taking another pull of your drink. “She loves you, Hyun. Loves spending time with you and playing with you. She’s always so excited when I tell her you’re coming over for dinner. And that’ll just…it’s a bond that will only grow with time. In a year’s time, she won’t know anything else except you being her dad.”

He blows out a long breath, before shooting you a wry smile. “To be honest, I’m bracing myself for the first time she calls me that. I think she’ll make me cry.”

You laugh. “She’s made me cry that many times, Hyunjin. These tiny humans, they hold way more power than they realise.” Reaching out, you lay your hand on top of his, resting on the arm of the chair, and have to steady your breath when he turns it over and laces your fingers together.

“And she will, Hyun. Call you that. She knows who you are. If she were older, I wouldn’t push her into calling you anything until she was ready, but at this age…it would feel like lying, if I didn’t. You’ve put your love and devotion into this relationship. You take care of her and have fun with her and always make sure she feels comfortable and safe. You are her father, Hyunjin. The name will come.”

Hyunjin nods, eyes focused on the bottle in front of him for a long minute. When he finally meets your gaze, his eyes are glassy, his expression more vulnerable than you have seen in a long while. “Thank you, angel,” he says, bringing your linked hands to his mouth and pressing his lips to the back of yours. “I mean it.”

You nod, ignoring the way your heart quickens at the intimate gesture. This is about Hyunah, not you.

“Of course, Hyunjin. I’m here whenever you need.”

It’s not lost on you that when he first met Hyunah, you warned him that you couldn’t be. That he needed someone outside of the situation to lean on, through the times when you had to make Hyunah your priority. And while Hyunah is of course still your priority, your relationship with Hyunjin has changed so much in the past months, that it doesn’t feel like you need to choose; it feels, more than anything now, like you’re becoming a real team.

Hyunjin nods, sending you another smile brimming with emotion, and you're not surprised when he chooses to redirect the conversation onto a lighter topic.

It starts with a general catch up, as it always does, and shifts in that easy way conversations do with someone you’re comfortable with. You mention a store you passed by yesterday, dedicated to matching onesies for humans and their animals, and it reminds Hyunjin of a pet expo he was taken to during one of his work trips in Florida.

That becomes travel highlights, and then travel mishaps, and reminds Hyunjin of a video Yeji took of him when he visited her in the UK. You press together close as he shows you on his phone, each on a second beer, which probably eases the laughing fits you both find yourselves in when you watch him fall flat on his ass into a huge pile of mud. That turns to blooper reels, and then the dedication of Pixar films to animate blooper reels, and by the time Hyunjin’s admitting that he cried during Toy Story 3, you've got actual tears streaming from your eyes.

“Stop it,” you wheeze, fanning at your face as Hyunjin cracks up beside you. “I’m worried my brain’s not getting enough oxygen.”

“Death by laughter.”

“Exactly. But you’re not alone. I definitely cried during Toy Story 3. I’m going to be a mess when Hyunah starts watching Disney on repeat; most movies are real tear-jerkers.”

“Definitely truth in that,” Hyunjin says, his laughter easing with yours. He takes a sip of his beer, and you can feel the weight of his gaze when he looks your way, watching you almost carefully. “You know, that was the first time I went anywhere like that.”

“Huh?”

“When you took me to Disneyland,” he explains. "I didn’t really have someone to go to Disneyland with. I know I said some stuff when we met, but it’s been three years and—”

“I remember, Hyun.”

“You do?”

Your chest suddenly aches “Yes,” you say, soft, earnest. “I remember pretty much everything about that trip.”

Hyunjin smiles, emotion filling his gaze. “Well, yeah. Like I said, I didn't have a group of friends I could go anywhere with, at least not until Yeji. Doing that kind of stuff — Disneyland and all that — was something I could only dream about when I was young. And when I was older, that turned to bitterness, though I wouldn’t have admitted that. So it was weird when you took me there.”

Guilt washes over you, tightening your throat and intensifying that ache in your chest. You remember that day, remember not telling him where you were going until it was too late. That he might have been uncomfortable being there makes you feel awful, even three years later.

“I’m sorry, Hyunjin. I never meant—”

“No, no. That’s not what I meant, Y/N.” Reaching out, he takes your hand again, laces your fingers together. His smile is fond, and it makes you feel too many things. “You changed that for me. For so many years I hated this thing on principle, and then you took me there. And we laughed and rode the rollercoasters and took photos with Disney characters and ate stupid, expensive food. We had fun, you know? And it just reminded me of that, talking about Toy Story. So I wanted to say thank you, again. The entire trip, getting to know you. It was all amazing, so thank you.”

It takes you a moment, but eventually you manage to speak without the threat of your voice wavering. “You’re welcome,” you say, something warm and fluttering sparking low in your belly as he holds your gaze, the moment growing heavy. It’s not often that you and Hyunjin acknowledge your time spent together three years ago, the feelings that developed between you and him. “And thank you, too. It was a good trip. Life changing.”

Hyunjin’s lips twitch with the joke. “A good kind of life changing.”

“The best. Speaking of which, it’s probably time that change wakes up. Do you want to grab her, I’ll just clear up out here?”

He watches you for another long moment, but doesn’t say anything further. With a squeeze of your hand, he stands and heads inside, and you allow yourself a minute to re-settle before you take your finished bottles to the recycling, gulping down some much-needed water.

Still, your cheeks remain flushed hot and your heart’s beating faster than usual when Hyunjin returns with Hyunah in his arms, her cheek resting comfortably on his shoulder.

It’s a lot to take in, and it only gets worse as you listen on while he plays with Hyunah throughout the afternoon, allowing you to get some more work done for the week ahead. Laughter and quiet chatter fills the open area, Hyunah instructing him on their roles in pretend, and later, asking him to read her a new book. And when she wants to play by herself, he simply pulls out his own book and joins you on the dining table — not interrupting, just sharing your space with an ease that makes it feel like this is just your life.

Like this is how it could be, if all the hopes swirling in your mind became a reality.

It won’t be for a long while, because even if Hyunjin wants the same things that you do, you know how careful the two of you will need to be, how slow you will need to take it.

Looking up from your laptop, you catch his steady gaze on you, and when he smiles, slow and warm, some part of you feels, instinctively, like everything is going to be okay.

* * *

While Brittany’s come a long way from caring about snooty, exclusive galas, and rich, not-so-sincere friends, she definitely still knows how to throw a party.

“Fuck, Mum.”

“Language,” Brittany scolds mildly, though she’s smiling as you look around the space.

The living area has been done up completely, furniture pushed to the edges of the rooms to create more space, colour-coordinated decorations disbursed throughout. Food and drink stations have been set up, a sound system in place, and fairy lights run across the glass sliding doors to lead to the pergola outside, various seating areas spaced out across the deck.

It’s all lovely, but your personal favourite is definitely —

“A chocolate fountain?”

Brittany rolls her eyes when you set your sights on it, set up on the dining table. “Oh, don’t ask. Anthony got it as a surprise.”

Laughing, you pull your mum into a hug. “He’s definitely won best gift. Happy birthday, Mum.”

“Thanks, darling,” Brittany says, a smile clear in her voice.

“The big five-oh. Do you feel old yet?”

“Only when people ask me that.”

You grin as you pull back, shrugging. “Sorry. My duty as your child.”

“Yes, thank you for your service. One day it’ll be you hearing this from Hyunah, you know?”

“Speaking of which. Hyunah,” you call out, to where your little button is playing with Anthony outside. With two hours until the party, neither are dressed yet, to keep the chances of staining clothes to a minimum. “Do you want to give Grandma her present?”

She comes racing back inside, Anthony following at a far more measured pace, making grabby hands at her. With Brittany’s eyes closed, you hand Hyunah the cupcake she decorated rather liberally today, and she presents it very proudly to her grandma. A candle for tonight is spared to sing happy birthday, and Brittany lets Hyunah unwrap the presents after, some perfume you gift her with every year, and a voucher for her and Anthony to spend a weekend together at a retreat a couple of hours away.

Hugs and kisses and wishes of happiness go around, but after that it’s all go-time.

The caterers Brittany booked arrive with a ridiculous amount of food to be sorted, and there are last minute jobs to be done, glasses and plates to set out for guests, breakable items to be stored away in anticipation of booze and dancing. And once that’s all wrapped up, it’s a race to get themselves ready for the party.

You give Hyunah a bath before having a quick shower yourself, playing the requested Disney playlist from your phone as you start to dry Hyunah off, though it’s hard to compete with all the wiggle-dancing the music inspires. You barely manage to keep her still long enough to put hair in the braids she insists on wearing before a knock sounds on the door, the person behind it not waiting for a response before barging in.

“People are arriving in twenty minutes, and neither of you are even dressed,” Somi says, rolling her eyes fondly. She’s done up herself, in a stunning navy velvet dress, hair curled into large waves where it falls over her shoulders to her waist. “Here, you focus on yourself, I’ll get the little alien finished up.”

“Thank you,” you sigh, shooting her a grin. “My plan was to just pretend I wanted to be fashionably late, but I’m not sure it’s a statement when I’m just coming from upstairs.”

“You could always climb down the trellis and pretend you’ve come from other engagements in your rich social life…You know, with your daughter.”

“Somehow that seems like too much effort.”

Somi laughs while you take the opportunity to hop back into the ensuite to start your hair and makeup. It’s been a while since you have done yourself up like this, but you manage to pull your hair into a nice up-do with some curls framing your face, and somehow don’t smudge the liquid eyeliner. With a dark red lip, some simple jewellery, you tug your dress and slip into your heels to complete the look.

You are met with a wolf-whistle from Somi when she walks back into the bedroom.

“Damn, hot mama. You look good.”

You roll your eyes, but can’t deny you're more than a little flattered. “Thank you. I think I clean up alright.” When your gaze shifts to Hyunah, your smile softens. Your baby looks so sweet, with her hair in two braids, a light white dress with flowers stitched around the hem, and that's when you realise that even Hyunjin is dressed in a shade of white. You will look like a family on theme and before you can indulge more into your happy thoughts, you snap out of it when Hyunah flops across the room. “Button, you look so lovely. Are you excited for the party?”

“Yes! Grandma has cake.”

Somi grins. “She’s got her priorities straight.”

“Definitely. You ready to go down, baby?”

Hyunah nods, and you and Somi follow as she climbs carefully down the stairs, into the small group that’s already arrived.

Thankfully kids were welcome, and Hyunah has some others to play with as the steady influx of people begins to fill the house, a buzz of chatter over the thrum of music.

Your friends arrive throughout, and while you're roped into conversations with well-intentioned but slightly nosy extended family and old friends of your mum — asking unsubtle questions about Hyunjin — you manage to escape to them after the first half hour. Chan has a gin and tonic that he presses into your hand, and you quickly take a long sip.

“I forget how many people Mum knows,” you say, gaze running over the party. You spot Hyunah with some other younger kids, supervised by one of Brittany’s colleagues you spoke to earlier.

“She’s a popular woman, that one,” Somi agrees, knocking your shoulders together. “When’s Hyunjin getting here?”

“I’m not sure, haven’t had a chance to check in.”

“He should come quick if he wants any food,” Felix says. “Changbin seems to be attempting a record of Most Food Eaten at a Party.”

You laugh, looking over at Changbin and Ryujin, piling stupid amounts of food onto their plates. You squint your eyes. “Is he stoned?”

“No comment.”

“We did drive him,” Zara notes, dry. “And he ate a whole bag of potato chips on the way.”

“Impressive,” you say, sighing when a cousin you don’t particularly like catches your eye and waves you over. “And so the mingling continues. Hopefully I can get it all done early to hang out properly later.”

“Uh-huh.” Chan takes a sip of his drink, barely hiding a smirk. “We get it. Need to keep yourself free for when Hyunjin arrives.”

Your cheeks heat. “I’m not deeming that comment worthy of a response.”

Laughter follows as you go over to play nice with your extended family. Thankfully it’s only fifteen minutes before you are able to politely excuse yourself, a text from Hyunjin catching your attention: Parking was a nightmare. Have you got half the city in there? I’m a few minutes away. Anticipation flutters within your stomach, and you can feel the smile that pulls at your lips.

You go to find Hyunah — asking if she’s tired yet and receiving an insulted expression in return — before surreptitiously checking your makeup hasn’t smudged and sidling back up to Somi.

“Hyunjin should be here any minute now,” you say.

Somi just hums, looks pointedly towards the front door, and you follow her gaze to find him.

Without Yeji or Seonghwa in tow, his gaze shifts nervously across the room, in search of — you, you guess. Your heart picks up immediately, just at the simple sight of him. No matter how good it was, the photo he sent last week still didn’t do him justice, but that may have something to do with your acceptance of your feelings towards him, and your excitement in seeing him tonight.

He’s here because you asked him to be, because he’s making an effort to be part of your family.

“Christ, be a little less subtle, babe,” Somi says in your ear, breaking you from your reverie.

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious. Your eyes are practically cartoon love-hearts at this point. I’m guessing that’s not your intention.”

“Actually…” you say lowly, feeling Somi’s attention sharp on you. “I’ve decided to tell him and work something out. I flipped a coin.”

“Flipped a coin?” Somi echoes, incredulous. “You mean when Ryujin flipped a coin? God fucking— you know what? You’re ridiculous. Go talk to him. I’ll grill you about this later.”

Laughing, you leave before your friend can change her mind. You know it was a ridiculous way to make a decision, but a drink into the night you also know that receiving the alternative outcome would’ve only made you realise that this is the one you wanted.

You collect two flutes of champagne on your way to Hyunjin, chest warming when you catch his response to noticing you: deep brown eyes lighting up, before slowly sweeping over you from head to toe, a glint you recognise from years ago deepening his gaze when it returns to you.

“Hey, Hyun,” you say, leaning up to press your lips to his cheeks, lingering a moment longer when his hands find your waist. “How are you?”

“Good, outside of the parking,” he says, clearing his throat when the words come out rough. “How are you?”

“Also good. Here.” You hand him a glass of champagne, cling yours against it. “Thank you for coming, I do really appreciate it.”

“Of course. Wouldn’t miss it.” A beat passes, his attention drawing a flush to your cheeks. Finally, he steps back properly, looking over you again. His smile is slow and incredibly charming. “You look gorgeous, Y/N. Really, really beautiful.”

Your heart hammers within your chest. “Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.”

His laugh is easy, fond. “Thanks. Will you come say happy birthday to your mum with me? I wouldn’t mind back up.”

You roll your eyes. “I’ve told you she likes you!”

“Some day I’ll believe you,” he says, but you knows he’s only teasing.

Brittany’s luckily in between guests, and you manage to chat for a good five minutes — Hyunjin politely wishing her a happy birthday, thanking her for the invitation, and handing over a present — before her attention is stolen by a new arrival.

Hyunah is next, and any unease Hyunjin may have been feeling in being here melts away at the sight of her. She lights with excitement, launching herself onto him as she’s fond to do, and you watch as, easy as anything, he swings her up onto his hip, pressing little kisses all over her face and earning peals of laughter in return.

She’s keen to stick by his side, pulling him in to play with the small group of kids in the lounge, and you stay, too, pleased when the rest of the gang eventually migrate over, so you don’t have to split your time. Yeji and Seonghwa arrive not long after, settling into the swing of the party easily, and with the flow of good drinks and food, the night continues smoothly.

Easy banter has them arguing and laughing quickly, and a dance floor opens up not too soon after, when Changbin hijacks the sound system. You dance with your mum and Hyunah, before Hyunah insists on dancing with Hyunjin, and as you're roped in with the girls — twirling Yeji with a hand above her head and spinning Somi in and out, until you're close to falling over from laughing too hard — your gaze never goes too far from your daughter held close and precious in Hyunjin’s arms, as they dance together to the music.

You continue to check in to see if she’s growing sleepy, but Hyunah is resolute that she wants to stay up with everyone.

Stubbornness is a trait your daughter has unfortunately inherited, and one which you get to reap the consequences of when, around ten, speeches are made, and Hyunah insists she wants to be held. By you specifically, as you go to make your own.

To be fair, you get through most of it, and the crowd is very endeared by the two of you, but Hyunah’s been up for hours longer than she normally is. While the excitement of the party had been fuelling her until now, You knew it wouldn’t get her all the way through.

Squirming in your hold, Hyunah starts whining softly, that buzzed sort of exhaustion in her eyes.

“Baby, do you want to get down?” You ask quietly, ignoring the light laughter and aaws from the guests. Hyunah shakes her head, and you run a soothing hand over her back. “Okay, do you want to stay up here?” Another shake of your head, which is quickly buried into your neck. You suspect the attention of the hundred or so people has gotten to her. “Alright, button,” you say, soft, with the intent to take her upstairs and let her get some sleep, but as your eyes run over the crowd, you catch Hyunjin’s gaze.

He’s on alert, expression creased and unsure, as though he wants to help but doesn’t know if it’s his place. You tilt your head in affirmation, smiling when he presses his way through some guests to get to you. Hyunah shifts over easily, small arms wrapping around his neck, her body relaxing into his hold.

“Thank you,” you whisper, trying not to let the image of them derail you. Hyunjin flashes a smile before slipping to the back of the crowd. “Now, where was I?” You say, louder now, to the crowd, earning the desired laughs before resuming your speech.

It ends with the obligatory sappiness required of a birthday speech, and you can see the tears that your mother tries to hide as she pulls you in for a tight hug. After Brittany’s own speech, thanking everyone for coming, she gives you a look to go take care of your daughter.

Thankfully, the noise is dimmed as you reach the spare bedroom you and Hyunah are occupying tonight — Brittany and Anthony having moved back into the master bedroom months ago — and Hyunjin gets a close-to-sleeping Hyunah changed into her pyjamas with expert efficiency. She drifts the rest of the way to a soft lullaby you sing, barely a minute before her heavy eyes have fallen and her breaths are coming evenly.

“Thank you,” you say, reaching over to take Hyunjin’s hand, though you keep your gaze on their sleeping daughter. “I think I was twenty seconds from a tantrum there.”

“You’re welcome. I’m just glad I could help. Are you doing alright?”

“I should be asking you that.” You send him a grateful smile. While they have spent most of the night with your friends, a few family members managed to pull him into somewhat interrogatory conversations. “You’ve done well tonight.”

He chuckles. “I’m glad you think so. Your mum really knows a lot of people.”

“I know. It’s kind of ridiculous.” You screw your nose up, closing your eyes. “And now I’m tipsy and sleepy and my feet hurt, but I have to be polite and rejoin the party. Think you can bribe me to go back down?”

Hyunjin laughs, shifting to stand and pulling you up with him. “Come on, take off your shoes, you’ll feel better without them. And I promise you’ll still look lovely.” You duck your head on the compliment, but do as he suggests, slipping off your heels, which does you a world of good. “Perfect. And step two, make it downstairs. Does a dance count as a bribe?”

“I’m not sure how much that’ll help my feet,” you say, smiling wryly, hiding the giddiness his question has drawn to your stomach. “But it sounds like a deal.”

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