C'est moi

[ononokl]

[actionjacksonlovesbbq]

my dogs af

[yuwave-deactivated20180103]

Guess who’s got a new ringtone

[minions420]

if she’s even able to walk after sex you didnt do it right

[meladoodle]

yeah you’re supposed to cut her legs off 

[blaineykurts-blog]

doctorstoptheimpala:

Do bananas float?

Yes. Yes they do.

[liasangria]

doctorstoptheimpala:

thank you

that is a really nice photograph of that floating banana

[dieinorbit]

person: what r u doin

me: 

[weloveshortvideos]

They threw a party in the school bathroom

[iicarys]

there is no better way to describe public school 

[lonelymya]

Best thing I every watched

[wingedcatgirl-archive]

yes yes, i, too, love tumblr’s favorite actors. misha collins, david tennant, and *looks at smudged ink on hand* benedict cumberbatch

[giraffepoliceforce]

We’ve turned mispronouncing Bidet Cankersore’s name into a popular enough joke that merely saying his name correctly is now a legitimately funny punchline. We’ve delved too deep into this joke. There’s no escape. Tell my children I love them.

[peterfromtexas-deactivated20250]

[skygenders]

School and Tumblr

[1sungyeol]

this blog does not support the production or consumption of coleslaw

[incendiarism]

why do americans start their school years in the middle of the year that makes no fucking sense

[jawnthetimelord-deactivated2014]

when else should you start school????

[casey-jane-lewis]

in JANUARY

like a REGULAR HUMAN

[witchpsychiatrist]

WE START SCHOOL YEARS IN SEPTEMBER BECAUSE THAT’S THE END OF FARMING SEASON

CHILDREN USED TO HAVE TO HELP FAMILIES WITH CROPS AND SHIT

BUT NOW CHILD LABOR LAWS

AND WE’RE TOO LAZY TO CHANGE OKAY

[marvellousmisha-blog]

Hogwarts starts in September

[bahtmun-deactivated20240623]

There you go.

[best-of-memes]

[borl2008]

Yup

[ave-aria]

okay, storytime. At a group sleepover, there’s this girl, the most innocent thing you’ve ever met, k? She nods off on the couch early on in the night. As everyone’s getting ready to play cards, one of my friends lean back and hears her mumbling in her sleep.

My friend motions for everyone to be quiet. The girl snuggles her blanket, smiles, and in the sweetest voice, says, “Go on, Brandon. You can jump. It’s only 30 stories.”

[unscrupulous-things]

One time I was sleeping over at my best friend’s house and she sat up, looked me dead in the eye, and said “i am going to kill you”, then fell back onto the bed.

Needless to say, I did not sleep that night.

[small-lost-boy]

My friend asked for candy in her sleep and we stupidly gave it to her and when she woke up the candy was still in her mouth. Thank god she did not choke. She also made motorboat noises.

[skygenders]

Epic Tales By Tumblr Bloggers

[the-right-writing]

How to make a character's death sadder

 Don’t have them die of old age after a long, fulfilling life. Many people don’t even think of this as sad (note that this can still work if you have enough of the other factors).

 Leave one of their major goals unfinished. The more enthusiastic they are about completing the goal, the sadder.

 Give them strong relationships with other characters.

 Make them fight against whatever is causing their death. Their ultimate loss is sadder if they struggle.

 Kill them in the middle of their character arc.

 Don’t describe their funeral in detail. Maybe it’s just me, but I find that long descriptions of funerals kill the sadness.

[artistizzyrae]

That’s enough Satan’s publisher…

[iceb0x]

>B)

[theirisianprincess]

7. If possible, try to kill them off in the middle of the story, so we had time to like them and we will have time to let the loss settle in.

8. Also, place surviving characters in a situation where having the deceased person there would help them get out. You can choose whether you will point this fact out or if you want the audience to make the connection themselves.

[thehellspawnhero-deactivated202]

[weloveshortvideos]

[dodysbilgurno]

SIGNAL BOOST

Avoid ordering physical items from Amazon until July 30th!

This isn’t some petty manufacturing error

This isn’t an outbreak of something like anthrax

IF you make the mistake of ordering from Amazon in the next month and a half not only will you help prototype the new drone overlords, but in addition you could be seeing one of these MONSTROSITIES arrive at your front door

HOW WILL YOU BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF TO YOUR KIDS, YOUR SPOUSE, YOUR MAILMAN, YOUR COUNTRY???!??

HOW??!?

[dodysbilgurno]

NO

GOD ALMIGHTY WHY

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[mishasminions]

I SEE YOU’VE GOTTEN MY PACKAGES

[raganiazumi]

Never apollogize for your bad puns about greek gods

[gmickey261]

i’M SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS

[gorandomshesaid]

I hades post so much

[salsajuicer]

being friends with thomas sanders must be so stressful, they must constantly live in a state of ‘when will he slap me in the face with chocolate’ or ‘when will he throw a blanket over my head’ i mean i 100% approve of these prank methods but just

[thatsthat24]

Y’know, I don’t think you’re wrong…