What is my life? @alice-the-koala - Tumblr Blog

erlkoenige

i don’t think we can gaslight gatekeep girlboss our way out of this one boys

batte-in-hatte

broadwaytheanimatedseries

Why are people on this website always coming in with the most accurate takes on these penguins it’s killing me

voidandradiance

the most disorienting thing thats ever happened to me was when a linguistics major stopped in the middle of our conversation, looked me in the eye, and said, "you have a very interesting vernacular. were you on tumblr in 2014?" and i had to just stand there and process that one for a good ten seconds

ripvaccinated2017-2021-deactiva

pregnancy is a hoax the baby sprouts out the ground ive seen it happen

ripvaccinated2017-2021-deactiva

People pretend to be pregnant for clout it started with one woman named dvd and people been chasing the same high since

ripvaccinated2017-2021-deactiva

meant eve

rubysapphrald

the macking cheese post changed my life

rubysapphrald

chongoblog

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

chongoblog

muppethole-deactivated20240312

wait are there really new people joining this site. i thought it was a hoax.

stophelping

Congratulations, that's the vibe

michaelgovehateblog

I would like to wish everyone an uneventful new year

michaelgovehateblog

It's only November and this is already getting notes again, you guys are really manifesting this energy early for the new year

beesmygod

[gets down on on knee] oppa…marriage style?

cyberpigeon

it’s 2016 not 2012

beesmygod

oppa rude style :(

transgenderization

if you got like a 100kilo bag of glitter and opened it up and left it in the path of like a tornado i think that would be interesting. i dont care abt ecological damage btw

dropbear42

I do. 100kg bag of seaweed based glitter.

thyrell

i dont. 100kg bag of enriched uranium based glitter

thyrell

wait isnt uranium denser than lead how heavy would a 100kg bag of uranium be

cursologist

thyrell.

thyrell

just kill me

thyrell

atombombtom

tell me something about yourself

so this might be tmi but the first time i jacked off it was like 2005? I was playing the sims 2 for the first time and i didn’t know anything about Gay but i made my male sim kiss don lothario, which i didn’t think would work. i then googled “2 sims kissing (boys)” and that led me down a rabbit hole (lol sims 3 reference there), and yeah, ya know, I did the self-woohoo. that same night there was an oprah re-run about teenage pregnancy and i was horrified. oh my god, i was convinced i was pregnant, nevermind that i am a little cis gay boy with no uterus. nevermind that i was a virgin. i was CERTAIN I was pregnant. Like, 900%. I had done the nasty and had become filled with my own vile seed. I started getting really self-conscious about my belly expanding. I didn’t want to google anything about masturbation leading to pregnancy out of fear it would confirm all my worst fears. My male sim got abducted by aliens and came back with morning sickness. He gave birth to twin aliens. that confirmed it in my mind that it was biological possible for men to carry children, perhaps even their own.. what was i going to tell my parents when i gave birth to myself? anyway I went to the doctor with a cold and he asked me what was wrong and i told him i was pregnant and he pissed himself laughing. this whole ordeal lasted about 5 months, but the lasting effect will probably follow me to the grave.

atombombtom

callmebarbie

girlie stop scrolling through tumblr you are one second away from crumbling under academic pressure

alice-the-koala

#garbage cat #scissors #armed cat #litter #cat meme #he will hurt you #danger cat

cockmcstuffins

bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent