Chat why has life been lifing harder than it’s ever lofe before recently 😭
- explanation of absence -
(Includes a few heavy topics)
Sorry I’ve been dead on both my accounts, I’ve been struggling with mental health 25/8, as I always do, and had a two day relapse after about 5 months of being sh-clean. My mild anorexia has also decided it wants to get worse again now that I’ve locked my sharp objects away. Basically, I’ve been trying desperately not to attempt in the past few months, and oh man is it difficult stuff.
As I have for several years now, I’m mostly suffering in silence since my parents are the main cause of a whole lot of my struggles, and I don’t ever want to talk to them about it. They’re decently transphobic, and I was just reminded recently that I’ve only been out as trans for a year now, and they have still never called me by my name or pronouns in that time. My friends have been my only source of hope recently, and even when I think things are rocky with them without any evidence, I always feel like I’m doing something wrong and will have periods of isolation.
I just wrote a final today for chemistry, and I have several more things to do still before semester 2 finally starts, so school has been warfare to a degree. I’m also terrified of how my classes will be next semester if I have to share them with people I really don’t have god relationships with, so that’s adding to the overall anxiety right now, which has been keeping me up a lot more than usual.
So yeah, thanks for coming to my ted talk. I’ve had no energy to write or anything, which is aided by executive dysfunction. So I apologize that I’ve just sort of up and left my blogs, especially this one, but tumblr isn’t a job, so it’s been the one to be sacrificed. I have no idea when I’ll be inspired enough to write again, but I figured an update was in order.
