I could find you in the dark

Sam. 30s. Canadian. she/her

[surskip]

this is killing me it's so cute

[avatarskorra]

we popping the BIGGEST bottles when makorra happens tomorrow

[tonraq]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

yesterday my grandma found a penny on the floor and said to my grandpa “there’s that penny again, pa!” and i absolutely lost my mind because i couldn’t shelve the thought of a single panel Far Side comic of two old people on the front porch in the middle of nowhere and a giant penny angrily and inexplicably rolling through the wastes

“there’s that penny again, pa!”

[secreteggplantbaby]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

this is hands down my single favorite post ive ever made that got notes

[morgannalefey]

I sincerely hope that the OP realizes that gramma was very likely quoting that cartoon.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

the cartoon that was drawn and posted based on my post? probably not, but i guess we can never know

[sourcreammachine]

i’m sorry kink fans but i just can’t see the suffix ‘con’ without thinking it means convention

‘dubcon’ will skrillex be there??

[sourcreammachine]

oh no oh no please not this post please

[wynnyfryd]

reblog to get your bones rattled at the dubious convention

[teathattast]

[whatcoloristhatcat]

seal point

[lichenes]

aye aye captain

[hungry-hobbits]

not to screenshot a twitter post but please look at this animal

"is that ok . "

[shiverandqueeef]

how measurements work in canada (ie/ badly)

[makesomenoise]

🌈

[tutt3rs]

under utilized comic gimmick is super big text bubble filled with very few words/just one word

[tutt3rs]

like this

[dragon-in-a-fez]

can someone turn the lights on in that jpeg

[thepaisleyelf]

There’s a liquor store near my house that seems to be run exclusively by frat boys. They lovingly curate these bags, which I browsed today while “Oops I Did It Again” played through the store speakers. This is art to me, there is beauty everywhere for those with eyes to see it

[madameandromeda]

[dogsuffrage]

I like when delivery people ask you to sign their tiny shitty screen with your finger like alright sure we can do some free drawing I guess. Some random strokes that evoke the essence of a signature. Looking me dead in the eyes while I play fruit ninja on this blank screen. Why not.

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[space-arcanist]

I can't get over "and comes fucks me".

[the-doctored-pepper-deactivated]

This video ruined all those aesthetic photos of fog for me. I can’t see a foggy landscape without this video playing in my head.

[commandtower-solring-go]

It's Comes Fucks Me Wednesday babes

[somethingmissingthiswaycomes]

I was gonna queue this but then tumblr user commandtower-solring-go declared it a Wednesday post and

[andmaybegayer]

measure once cut also once, no prablem

[andmaybegayer]

#i know i already reblogged this but i need to like. cross stitch it or carve it into wood or quilt it or something

concept for a vcarving project

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

no i get you this was perfectly centered when i wrote it

[shaydh]

I have done the cross stitch

[poolboydivision]

in honor of all the times I've made this mistake irl

[fruitgushers]

a dead scene kid is trying to contact me through captcha

[thememedaddy]

[saintsinner-asstral]

[drchucktingle]

After his incredible UFO encounter, Gorbin is thrilled to be taking his story to the masses. After calling in to the local news, Gorbin is swiftly upgraded to a national segment, but that’s when things get really strange.

The producers are asking Gorbin to wear an ultra-realistic silicone mask, telling him it will make his story more credible if he looks like an old guy. But when the neck of this mask is exposed on live TV, does it hurt or harm Gorbin’s very real story? As the conspiracy gets deeper, Gorbin doesn’t know what to think.

Clarity comes when the handsome sentient mask comes to apologize, prompting a journey even farther into the unknown… and the erotic.

This erotic tale is 4,300 words of sizzling human on gay mask action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and ultra-realistic silicone disguise love.

----

please enjoy brand new tingler POUNDED BY THE ULTRA REALISTIC MASK THAT I WORE ON THE NEWS BUT IT DIDN’T QUITE FIT RIGHT SO YOU COULD SEE THE EDGE POPPING OUT AT MY NECKLINE out now here or on patreon