:: seventh station ::

bits n' pieces of a journey with Jesus ♥

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Self-centred expectations sabotage everything.

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We don't come to God for a better life, we come to God because He is better than life.

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The cost of obedience to God is huge, it may cost your life. But the cost of disobedience cannot be calculated.

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The heart that is not thankful only deprives itself the joy it deserves.

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I can do nothing to earn God's favour, and nothing I do can take it away.

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Prayer should simply be - telling God what's on your heart, and letting God tell you his.

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I Don’t Love God Very Much.

Annnnnnnd…. there, I admitted it.

‘Oh!’ You’re probably going to say, ‘hold on, I thought you were a Christian? How can you not love God?’

Yea okay, maybe that’s not completely true. But I love a lot of other things as well, things that I’m probably not even aware of. I think more often than not, I don’t love God as much as I think I do. I mean, why else do I keep failing my own standards of how I should live? Isn’t it because my mind thinks one thing but my heart desires another? And the heart usually gets the final say?

Jesus said: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” Jn 14:15

Which logically implies that if we don’t keep his commandments it’s because we don’t love him, or that our love for another trumps our love for God. Now that’s a scary thought - and a scandalous one too. Sin is not so much about the thing you slip up on or keep wishing you would do. Sin is ultimately about a heart that doesn’t love God.

Now bear with me, I’m not out to condemn us as bad christians - in fact that’s the devil’s job.  You see, Satan has an ancient two-fold lie. First, he tells you that THE THING (whatever it is) is so much better than God right now - you want it, you need it, it will satisfy you. Then, when you’ve fallen for this lie and done what you shouldn’t, he will turn around to be your accuser - Oh look what you’ve done, God cannot be pleased with you, you have to try harder. And it is often between these two lies that the Christian spirals down into despair.

And what actually holds us to this destructive cycle? Our own pride. The first form of pride is easy to identity - it’s when we think we know better than God. The second, though, is a little more deceptive. But if we examine it carefully - we tell ourselves to try harder next time because we think we’re better than this, sure I slipped up, but I shouldn’t be this bad. But you try again only to fail again, because you don’t love God any more than you did before!

So how should we respond when we’ve fallen into temptation? Pray like David in Psalm 51:

“Against you, you only have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight.” 

David knew that his act of adultery and murder wasn’t the root of the problem, the problem was a heart that didn’t love God. David doesn’t ask God to help him do better, instead he asks for a clean heart and the joy of salvation. God gives us countless second chances to bring us back to where we said NO to Him, so we can say YES instead. He brings us back so we can finally surrender our hearts. 

As we come before God helpless and broken - acknowledging that we really don’t love him very much at all. In that quiet moment, His love will embrace you like floodgates wide open, as you look into the face of your Faithful One. Be loved with the perfect love you can’t return. 

He says:

“I will always love you. 

My love is like honey to your bones, filling every crevasse of your being. 

My love covers all your iniquities, your fears, your shame.

Sit here. Let my love permeate you till you have no more need. 

Though you will wander, and chase after another.

Come back to me, I will not despise you.

I will put a ring on your finger and sandals on your feet. 

You belong to me, and I belong to you.”

My brothers and sisters, let us be a church characterised not only by our strengths, but also an open vulnerability of our weaknesses. For I am convinced that the courage to do this is otherworldly. Let us offer one another our dark places, so that the light of God can truly dwell in our midst. May God’s outrageous love be the only thing that holds us together.

Amen.

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It is not our minds that shape what we worship, but our worship that shapes our minds. We are controlled by what we love.

Pete Ko: Towards a theology of creative arts

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When you choose to withhold your sacrifice from God, you're inevitably sacrificing to something less than God.

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Confessions of a Righteous Sinner

I feel like my fire is burning out again, though this time maybe not quite the same. I realised that I had been slowly losing the love of my youth - that first love. I may have grown cold deep down, even though I thought I was pursuing God with all my might and striving to grow closer to Him. Maybe the love of God, which had gone from my head to my heart, had sneaked its way back up. Maybe in the process of devotions, serving, and disciplining myself, I had ever so subtly made it about me instead of God. And then when I stopped to examine my heart, it felt somewhat cold and hollow. Maybe in my pursuit of godliness, I had forgotten God himself. How did this happen...?  Maybe it’s because I hadn’t always rested in grace.  Maybe when I failed my own standards, I either dismissed it or took the condemnation for it (or both!). But still being hopeful in my own abilities, I vowed to try harder next time. Oh but the mystery of the power of sin, that makes me do what I don’t want to do, and not do what I want! And I find myself failing over and over again. My expectations for myself, in my mind, became equivalent to God’s standards for me. And though I know that God forgives, I could not help but feel that God was not 100% happy with me, because I was not happy with myself. Or that God would be more happy with me if I did this this and this better - or so I subconsciously thought. So maybe my self-expectations had become this angry tyrant standing in between God’s mercy seat and me.  “You’re not good enough! You have to do better!” 

What gave rise to this imaginary angry tyrant? 

1. I think it started off as a genuine desire to grow closer to God and to be like Christ. Which I’ve had all along, and still do. But perhaps my desires were not always pure. 

2. My self-righteousness and wanting the praise of man.  I think this is the biggest one. I wasn’t happy with where I was and I wanted to be better. I wanted to feel good about myself, to feel good about where I was as a Christian. I see those who are doing better than me, and I want to be there, I want to feel that way too. I want others to think highly of me, to approve of me, to like me. I have made for myself another pair of watching eyes - trying to keep my image in check. Everything I do, at least a tiny bit of ‘ME’ slips into the formula. 

3. I think all other reasons stem from point 2, but another prominent factor is the expectations of other people - be it family, church, or brothers and sisters. For example, my mum is a strong woman of God and a crazy prayer warrior - probably someone I look up to the most for my faith. I see so many qualities in her and things that she does that I lack or fail at. So I feel like I need to be more like her, or gain her approval. The reasons I do certain things can easily become because of my mum and not wholly because of God. I had made an idol out of her, and soon her words of encouragement and endeavours to help can turn into the pressure that makes me work for my own righteousness instead of receiving it at the foot of the cross. 

For the most part, my struggle is with prayer. Prayer is something I care about the most, but ironically do the least. I plan out my prayer times for the morning and evening, and stick up prayer lists on my wall - but more often than not I fail at keeping my promises to God. Doing other things just seem so much more appealing at the time, and sometimes I just don’t feel like praying - though I never fail to feel bad about it afterwards. But I know, I know...! What is the real problem? I shared this struggle with a friend of mine, and she shared her thoughts with me:

“The core issue of not praying is not the fact that we pray, but rather our hardened hearts that don’t actually love God.” 

Yes, the real problem is that I had slowly been losing my love for God, while trying to build myself up on an illusion of righteousness. 

So now I stop - 

Father forgive me! Father have mercy on me for not always clinging onto you.  Father forgive me for my self-righteousness and my apathy towards you.  But I am at a loss... How can a cold heart be set on fire again? I can do nothing in my own power to make me love you. I can’t. I have no tools ... no power to. I am like a candle wick that cannot light itself. Only You LORD. Only You.  I have no power to love you. Only Your love reaching down to me can ignite my love for you. How lowly and bankrupt I am! 

Yet I have You, my God. You are my only hope. You are everything that I’m not, and give me everything I cannot. Your steadfast love endures forever! The only thing that has ever brought me close to you was your grace poured out for me. Your grace is the only way I can draw near. 

And maybe You know all that. You know everything. You know my heart, my intentions - when I rise and when I fall. But you still love me the same? Do you love me? Yes, You love me.  You endured death to save me. You have given me everything I have and more. I have hope of eternity with you. And you always sing a song of love over me, whether I love you back or not. You yearn for me to seek you with all my heart, and you’re waiting to be found by me. Lord, such love is too high and too great for me to comprehend. But one thing I know - you are my first love and my only hope. And this is my prayer, that my heart would be won over by you. That I would be awakened by your love for me and that I would love you in return with a pure heart and undivided devotion. Amen. 

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A Christian's greatest job in life is none other than to remain in the grace that God offers unconditionally. If grace doesn't drive everything we do, we would have made self-righteousness an idol.

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Intercession is speaking to God on man's behalf. Prophesy is speaking to man on God's behalf.

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The Dove: nature, mission and devotion.

     Doves appear as prominent characters/symbols throughout the whole bible, but what do these lovely birds teach us about God and our relationship with Him?

Nature of Meekness

“Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove.” Mark 1:10

The dove is a harmless and gentle creature. It never hurts the tiniest bird with which it comes to meet. One might ask why the Holy Spirit chose to take on the form of a dove? He could have come as a powerful lion, or a majestic eagle. Though surely the Spirit has great power, His nature is one of lowly meekness. And it is this Spirit of humility that empowered Jesus for his ministry on earth. Jesus is written of by the prophet Isaiah: 

"He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice.” Isaiah 42:2-3

Though Jesus was in very nature God, he made himself nothing, by taking the form of a servant. And though like a dove he was pure and innocent, he took our sins upon himself and was obedience to death, even death on a cross. In the Old Testament, a pair of doves was used as a sacrificial offering if one could not afford a lamb. And like the dove, Jesus through the Holy Spirit, took the lowest place to ransom us from our sin. 

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:29

It is in this same way that the Spirit of Christ works in the individual believer’s life. In one beautiful passage of Scripture, Elijah has an encounter with the Lord.

“…a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.” 1 Kings 19:11-12

And with this whisper the Lord comforted Elijah and directed him the path he should take. So also in our lives, the omnipotent maker of heaven and earth chooses to reside in us and speak with us in His still small voice. He does not shout or demand to take over, but waits for us patiently and guides us into his very own likeness.

Ministry of Reconciliation

Apart from having a gentle nature, the dove also carries a mission - one of hope and reconciliation. We all know that the universal symbol of peace is a white dove carrying green leaves, and this imagery comes from the story of Noah and the flood in the book of Genesis. The dove was sent out from the ark, and brought back an olive shoot in her mouth, indicating to Noah that the floodwaters were subsiding. She carried the good news of peace, hope of new life, and of God reconciling with mankind. 

These series of events prophetically pointed towards the coming of the Holy Spirit and His ministry in the believer’s life - to reconcile our hearts to God and to empower us for the same mission.

"But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.” John 16:13

"The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised.” Ephesians 1:14a

The Holy Spirit comes as the dove, to bring us the hope of new life and to unlock the truth of the gospel in our hearts. Not only that, he also brings us an ‘olive shoot’, a foretaste of the glorious kingdom, a tangible guarantee of what is to come. Jesus, empowered by the Holy Spirit, took on the mission of the dove, to reconcile man to God. And we too, who have "experienced the good things of heaven and shared in the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the power of the age to come” Heb 6:4-5, are called to be his doves to a dying world, to bring this message of hope to others.

Eyes of Undivided Devotion

Lastly, the dove speaks not only of the nature of Christ and His mission, but also points to the relationship between Him and his bride the Church. The theme of the dove is prevalent throughout the Song of Songs.

"Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold thou art fair, thou hast dove’s eyes.” Song of Songs 1:15

Doves have very keen eyesight, but they have no peripheral vision. This means their eyes can only focus on one thing at a time. They are often nicknamed “love birds” because their undivided gaze is usually on their mate, and a pair of doves can move with amazing synchronicity. So when Christ speaks of his love having ‘doves eyes’, he’s saying that she has eyes for only him. She does not turn or get distracted, but follows him wherever he may lead. 

I love the lyrics from the song ‘Doves Eyes’ by Misty Edwards:

“I don’t want to talk about you like you’re not in the room. I wanna look right at you, wanna sing right to you… Give me dove’s eyes Give me undistracted devotion for only You.”

A few chapters later in the book, we see the woman praising her Beloved, and describes Him also as having ‘doves eyes’.

"His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set.” Song of Songs 5:12

This suggests that He also has eyes only for her. She is his everything, the one he longs after.

"My dove, my undefiled is but one; she is the only one of her mother, she is the choice one of her that bare her.” Song of Songs 6:9

It’s easy to say 'God loves the world’, and so he does. But more than that He loves each of us individually, and wants to have a personal relationship with us. It is not enough to believe that ‘Christ died for sinners’, but that He died for you. A life for a life. Your life for the life of God’s Son. Each of us must come to him one at a time to be saved. 

God has made you unique. He calls you by name and has numbered the hairs on your head. No one has the same walk with God as you do. And because of that, each and every one of us can say with confidence - “I am God's favourite.”

It may seem strange at first, but what inexpressible joy and freedom can come from knowing God’s explicit and unwavering love for us as individuals. This is not at all what we deserve, and not a drop could be earned by our credit. But just as His saving grace towards the sinner is nothing but scandalous, so is His jealous love toward the one who vows his life to follow him.

We, as the bride of Christ, revel in His outrageous love. Being filled with the Spirit of Meekness and transformed into His likeness, we follow our Beloved in return with undivided devotion. Fulfilled and saturated in this love, He leads us out on a mission, to witness to this inexpressible communion and bring the hope of reconciliation to the world around us.

The nature, the ministry and the devotion of the dove. Let it awaken our love for the One who loved us to death, but rose again to reign, and lives to love us still. Amen.

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Plants : and their talk about life.

Plants have been a huge fascination of mine in the past year, partly because they’re so intricate and beautiful, and their splash of green brings freshness to every corner of our lives. But also because plants hold such strong metaphorical potential and speak to our very existence and relationship with our Creator.

Plants can’t grow by themselves. They need two important things -sunlight and water. I’ve recently acquired an interest in growing pot plants in my room, and one interesting observation I’ve made is that they all physically face and grow towards the sun. I often have to turn the pot around every few days, hoping that they would grow up straight towards the ceiling instead.

Now if you’re reading through Genesis 1, you’ve probably noticed a problem - how could the earth have sprouted plants and bore fruit before the sun was even created? Don’t plants need sunlight to grow? Yes they do, but they don’t grow by sunlight alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God! There was already a light in place much greater than the sun in the sky, and that is the light of God’s glory which he had called forth on the first day. God is the creator and sustainer of the universe. It is because of His glory that the seas gather and the plants grow. If God were to withdraw his glory for a split second, the whole world would wither and collapse. No wonder when Jesus cursed the fig tree, it withered immediately!

Now we are like plants, and God is our sun. The light of his glory illuminates our world, and we as his children yearn and flourish as we grow towards him.

"His splendour was like the sunrise… and the earth is full of his praise” Habakkuk 3:3-4

Apart from the sun, plants also need water to grow. Water is the essence of their existence, the blood running through their veins. Jesus said: 

"Whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst…but will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 14:14   

I had a hard time imagining what that would actually look like, until I imagined myself as a plant, like the psalmist says in chapter 1: 

“[The righteous man] is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither.” Psalm 1:3

We as his children will never thirst, because our roots always relish in the fresh streams of living water flowing from our Father’s hand. We are inundated by His mercy and steadfast love. It doesn’t matter if the sun scorches down on us, or the sky gives no rain. In whatever situation we find ourselves in we can be satisfied, because our source of life comes from the river that flows within.

A good tree bears fruit. Jesus proclaims: 

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

Jesus is not only our sunlight and our living water, he is also the true vine - the very foundation that connects us to the source of life. Naturally because of our rebellion against God, we are like broken twigs lying on the roadside, waiting to be blown away or thrown into the fire. But by God’s mercy he picked us up and grafted us back into a living tree, so that what was once dead and good for nothing can be imbued with life again. A broken branch cannot live even with the flowing water and shining sun, it needs to be connected to the vine. In the same way, we need to be connected to Jesus to receive the salvation and inheritance that comes from the Father. 

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.” John 15:9-10 

Jesus is our sunlight, our living water and our true vine, and in Him we like little leaves and branches become who we were made to be.

Lastly, what’s the significance of bearing fruit? Fruits, apart from being good for food, all carry in them - seeds.  And in this seed contains the life that is needed for another plant of its kind to sprout afresh. Jesus in his parables often used the seed as a metaphor for the word of God, and the heart that receives it as the good soil. Isn’t it profound when you consider that it is by the fruit produced with our lives that carry the seed - the word of God, which will enable others to sprout and grow into the family of God? We can’t share the good news by just flapping our leaves, we need to patiently and enduringly produce the good fruit, by which others will taste and receive the word of God, the salvation of their souls. 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22-23

The branch itself cannot do anything to produce the fruit, it’s only job is to stay connected to the vine. Similarly, we bear fruit and spread the word of God not because of our works, but because we as children of God live out who we are meant to be in this world. 

Jesus is our sustenance, our foundation and our very purpose for existence. His word is our sunlight, our living water, our true vine and the product of our very being. 

His presence is truly our all in all.  Amen! 

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Let there be light!

     On the first day of creation, God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. When we say light, we think of the shining sun or twinkling stars. But if we read a little further, we discover that those lights we see in the sky were only created on the fourth day. 

What then was this ‘light’ God called forth before anything else?

          When God said “Let there be light,” He was speaking about himself. When we read through scripture, we discover that God himself is Light - the Light of the world. (1 Jn 1:5, Jn8:12) When He began the work of creation, the light of His glory shone forth from Himself into the earth, and it came alive. This light was His beauty and majesty, his power and character. This light was His plans and purposes, his heart and his wisdom. This light was the Creator’s initiative to begin creation, to make Himself known to a world yet unborn. Knowing absolutely everything, the end from the beginning, our God said, “Let there be light!”

           When God said “I am the Alpha and Omega, the First and the Last,” (Rev 22:13) He really meant it! In Genesis 1, before anything else was made, the glory of God was the canvas of creation. Everything was created because of God’s light, and He separated the light from the darkness. In the last chapters of Revelation, He said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” And in the new creation we see God again separating the light from the darkness, the righteous from the wicked - this time for eternity. And of the place where God and man will dwell forever, the bible says - “the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light… and there will be no more night.” (Rev 21:23,25) 

Our story begins and ends with the Light, because everything that has and will ever exist is all about God’s glory.

 It is no wonder then that Jesus proclaimed - “I am the light of the world,” (Jn 8:12)  because he is “the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature.” (Heb 1:3) And the bible says in 2 Corinthians 4:6 - “For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.” When we believe in Jesus and unite with him by his Spirit, His light is ignited in our hearts, and we too shine as little lights in this dark world. (Mt 5:14, Phil 2:14)

We too, radiate with the glory of God!

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The world is filled with things that are oddly beautiful, but that we don’t exactly know why. A fallen leaf, a flickering light in the distance, a fading melody… Maybe they remind us of a destiny, a yearning that’s been buried deep, a story that has long left the ears of those who have been told...

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The gospel meets our every need, because at the core of every need is a need for the gospel.