All Hail King Severus Snape /*

Pro Severus Snape The Malfoy's Random conversations between characters that I made up Sometimes I write Headcanons I'm also Drarry trash

[severussnapeisourking]

Lucius: *hides behind bathroom door*

Severus: *walks out*

Lucius: BOO!

Severus: *punches Lucius in the nose*

Lucius: Ouch! Who did you think I was?

Severus: Nobody.

Lucius: You knew it was me? Then why did you punch me?!

Severus: It’s been a long time coming.

Lucius: ....

[severussnapeisourking]

Draco: Happy New Years Eve, babe! What did you get me?

Harry: What do you mean? New Years Eve isn’t a day where people get-

Draco: What. did. you. get. me?

Harry: ...it’s a watch, but it’s not here yet.

Draco: Awww, you’re so sweet! But you didn’t have to get me anything. It’s just New Years Eve.

Harry: ....

[severussnapeisourking]

I’m backkkk!!

I’ve been gone for so long omg. I’m so sorry. 2018 was a long year for me and I had surgery with complications and it was a mess, but I miss making chats and interacting with you all so I wanted to finally come back. It’s gonna be a slow coming back (meaning I won’t post a lot like I used to at first, especially since I have to create new content now), but I’ll get back into the swing of it. Thank you to everyone who stuck around and to everyone who joined while I’ve been gone. I hope you all will welcome me back and I’m glad to be back. Love you all! 🥰

[severussnapeisourking]

I’m six days late, but Happy be-lated Blog Anniversary!

No problem. Thank you! 💕

[severussnapeisourking]

My blog turns 2-years-old today! I know I’ve been MIA for awhile, but I’m very proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish with this blog and everything I’ve put out. I promise to be back soon so I can continue to do more of what I love. Thank you guys for your comments, likes, and reblogs. If it weren’t for y’all, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I love you all sm & happy birthday, SeverusSnapeIsOurKing 💖

[severussnapeisourking]

Please Read:

I’m sorry I haven’t been active. I had surgery almost 2 months ago and am having complications from it so I’ve been taking a break from pretty much everything. I’m going to try and come back soon. I hope you all understand. Thank you!

[severussnapeisourking]

Severus: Draco, what ingredients do you need to make Draught of Living Dead?

Draco: I......er......uh......

Severus: How is it that you can’t remember any of your homework, but you know everything about the Kardashian’s?

Draco: That’s because Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, Rob, Kendall, and Kylie are important to remember!

Severus:

Draco: And I named them in age order, by the way. Extra points for me.

Severus: ......

[severussnapeisourking]

Operator: 9-1-1, what’s your emergency?

Lucius: I’m out of chicken nuggets. Can you *hiccup* bring me more?

Operator: Sir, this line is for emergencies only.

Lucius: B-but this IS an emergency! I *hiccup* need my NUGGETS.

Narcissa: *in the background* Lucius! You’re drunk! What are you doing?

Lucius: Shit, it’s my wife. Don’t tell her about our affair.

Operator: Sir, I-

Lucius: Bye, Fairy Godmother Chicken Nugget Lady! *hiccups*

[severussnapeisourking]

Severus: Want to go grab a drink?

Lucius: I thought we were going to have a movie night?

Severus: I’d rather go to the bar.

Lucius: But they just put all the “Bring It On” movies on Netflix.

Severus:

Lucius:

Severus: ……I’ll go make the popcorn.

[severussnapeisourking]

*Lucius walks in the front door*

Narcissa: Did you and Draco have fun at the park?

Lucius: Oh yeah. He loved it, right Draco? *Lucius turns around*

*Draco isn’t in the doorway*

Narcissa: Lucius......where is our son?

Lucius: *whispers* Shit, I left him at the park......

Narcissa: LUCIUS!

[severussnapeisourking]

Scorpius: Dad? Where do babies come from?

Draco: The number you reached is no longer in service.

Scorpius: We’re having a verbal conversation......

Draco: ......Please hang up and try again.

[severussnapeisourking]

Draco: Dad! You forgot to pick me up! What the hell?

Lucius: Oh, crap. I’m sorry, Draco. I had a lot of important business to take care of.

Draco: Like what?

Lucius:

Lucius: Like watch the Law & Order: SVU marathon that was on......

Draco: ......

[severussnapeisourking]

This has been brought up a few times so I just want to clear something up. The text posts of conversations I make between the characters aren’t exactly correct to canon because I like writing the characters conversations like they’re in our world in our time. I think it’s funnier and more entertaining to see them in our time/world and what they do/react to different things. I’m just making this clear and asking everyone to please not correct me if something isn’t canon. This also goes for me using an American word instead of a British word. This is all just for fun, please remember that. Thank you all for your continuous support and understanding! It means a lot 💜💜💜💜

[severussnapeisourking]

Lucius: I started making a Bucket List. You have to help me with some of them though.

Severus: Fine, but doing a duet of “Summer Nights” from Grease where I have to play Sandy is not happening.

Lucius:

Severus:

Lucius: *starts erasing* ......Ugh, fine.

[severussnapeisourking]

Harry: Okay, this cookie recipe says we need 2 eggs.

Draco: No, it’s 3.

Harry: I just read it. It said 2.

Draco: Wanna bet?

Harry: Fine. If I’m right I get to lick the bowl. If you’re right you get it. Deal?

Draco: Deal.

*Harry and Draco read the recipe*

Harry: ......I really wanted to lick the bowl.

Draco: *with the spatula in his mouth* You should have read it more carefully.

[severussnapeisourking]

Lucius: In the criminal justice system......

Severus: Lucius, don’t-

Lucius: Sexually based offenses are considered......

Severus: Not again-

Lucius: Especially heinous......

Severus: NO!

[severussnapeisourking]

Scorpius: I bet I can make you say “blue”.

Albus: Yeah, right.

Scorpius: Okay, just repeat after me......red.

Albus: Red.

Scorpius: Green.

Albus: Green.

Scorpius: Purple.

Albus: Purple.

Scorpius: Ha! I got you to say “purple”!

Albus: What? No way! You said it was “blue”!

Scorpius: HA, GOT YOU!!

Albus: DAMMIT!