I'VE NEVER DELIBERATELY GOTTEN CLOSE ENOUGH TO HQ TO REALLY GET A GOOD LOOK AT HIS FACE, BUT I'M REALIZING HE'S KINDA BUILT LIKE A PROTOGEN. KINDA WONDER IF THE FUCKER HAS A FUNCTIONING COMPUTER BUILT INTO HIM OR SOMETHING
THE FUCKING FISH KEEPS HIJACKING OUR PA SYSTEM TO YELL OBSCENITIES AT US
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE'S SAYING LIKE 73% OF THE TIME, BUT I KNOW IT'S THE FISH BECAUSE HE KINDA SOUNDS LIKE GABRIEL ULTRAKILL IF HE WAS LESS GAY AND MORE EMO
i just know there’s some urbanshade employee out there shitposting about the lockdown rn
(sorry about the shit quality. I scribbled this up in like two minutes on a whim lmao)
anyway. anyone got one of those goofy ahh posts/communities/whatever where we all pretend we’re urbanshade employees shitposting about being hunted for sport by a giant fishe. i think i’d like to see that
Greetings, little bugs in my computer. Your friendly neighborhood autistic no-lifer has suddenly had an epiphany— if he intends to wiggle his way into the Pressure community properly, he probably ought to be posting online more than (maybe) once a month.
Absolutely mind-blowing revelation, I know. Thanks, EROSIA, for your deeply profound wisdom.
This is where I would typically begin shitposting about bullying the fishe, posting sketches I drew at 3am on a work night, and/or maybe finally updating you on the progress of the archive and the fangame. UNFORTUNATELY (I hiss through gritted teeth), my SHITASS COMPUTER (Racecar Jimmy) has finally decided to SPITE ME (the fan bearing is broken), and I have to wait until my NEXT PAYCHECK (sometime next week) to order a NEW COMPUTER (long overdue anyway, his name will be Beans) that will probably take fucking forever to arrive, if my current track record with [EVIL CORPORATE ENTITY THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED] is any indication.
…Needless to say, I can’t really do much here. I have to play Pressure on mobile, so I can’t even express my undying love for Firewall. I just have to rely on my uber autism and fellow autistic no-lifers to give me something to do in the meantime. So, uh… I guess what I’m trying to say is… my asks are open. Please gimme. (More details hidden below if you’re curious, but if you’re just scrolling along, then uh… thanks for reading, and back to your regularly scheduled programming.)
MORE DETAILS THAT WERE HIDDEN BELOW
I pride myself in my knowledge about Pressure (because I really do mean it when I call myself an autistic no-lifer— I have put HOURS into research and dissecting the game like it’s a field of scientific study). There is very little I don’t know at this point. If you’re curious about quick gameplay strategy tips, lore, anything, and everything regarding the funni fish game, you’re free to ask me. I’m kind of insane about it.
You can also ask about the fangame project. I won’t be able to answer every question extensively for the sake of keeping certain details under wraps, but I’m silly, so… Ask away.
You can also also ask about pretty much anything else you want. It doesn’t have to be about Pressure… though I would prefer if it was, because… y’know… autism… But really, it’s whatever. Please give me a reason to post more. I’m trying really hard to Tumblr.
Anyway… I think that covers it. Thanks for reading again (for some reason). Have a guy for your troubles.
And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.
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