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ACT XII: NIGHTMARES BY THE SEA

Never before did you ever think you’d be performing a walk of shame off of a hot air balloon. Yeah, you hardly make it one step out of the balloon basket before Kohaku rips you away from Ryusui, tugging you in the direction of her place so you can tell her every damn detail of your overnight getaway. You tell her you’d be more than happy to fill her in, but you’d like to eat breakfast first considering you didn’t exactly wake up to any food left over from your picnic the night before.

In fact, you woke up with your face smushed into his chest, both of you still naked under a few deerskin pelts. The sun was just rising, and everything was covered in a sparkling layer of dew. Somehow he woke just a few moments after you — maybe it’s that sixth sense for your presence from earlier? — his hand twitching to life as it stroked up and down your back. Then, there was a chaste kiss to the crown of your head as if undoing the utter debauchery of the night before. It didn’t take long for you to start kissing in a slightly less innocent manner, but everything was kind of sticky considering the heavy pelts and the midsummer heat. You wanted to wash up but you were incredibly sore. In a good way though, a way that made you feel the opposite of empty. It’s nice.

So he carried you to the water so you could clean up, running his hands through your wet hair and naturally taking every opportunity to feel you up. As if he didn’t get more than his fair share the night before. The water was cold, but it kind of helped shock your weak limbs back to somewhat normal function, although the limp back to the shore to get your clothes was pretty unavoidable. All the more reason for him to carry you back to the balloon. At this rate, you’ll never have to use your own feet ever again.

So yes, by the time you get back to Ishigami Village, you’re starving. A night of more physical activity than you’ve ever been used to will do that to you. Kohaku lets you peel away from her in order to eat breakfast by Ryusui’s side, and you’re trying to ignore the very suspicious way Ukyo is looking at the two of you right now. Did he…? Your eyes meet and he immediately diverts his gaze, flushing red as he gets up to leave. Okay, he most certainly did. That’s probably the last time you’ll ever be able to look him in the eye. Ryusui tucks some hair behind your ear before feeding you a bite of breakfast. The village aunties are great cooks, but you really can’t wait to get back into the kitchen.

Finally, Kohaku manages to dig her lioness claws into you, and you agree to tell her everything about your special birthday dinner as requested. Honestly, you’re trying to glaze over the more X-rated details, but your friend just won’t stop prompting you for information. So what choice do you have but to tell the truth. The two of you find yourselves laying on the floor of her room, giggling to yourself about your sailor companion’s proficiency with various parts of his body. Kohaku sits up, breathless from laughter. “But seriously, you look like you got mauled.”

“What are you —” You move your hair away from your chest, and sure enough your top that leaves little to the imagination has done an extremely poor job at concealing the dark marks that have formed in a very compromising location. “Shit. I knew I should’ve stopped him.”

“Oh, be for real.” Kohaku slaps your arm playfully. “You know damn well you didn’t want him to stop.”

“I didn’t. Not in the slightest.” You reply into your hand, and it feels like you should be ashamed that so many of your friends have seen you like this. But all you feel is this expanding warmth in your chest knowing that you have someone who really likes you. So when you make eye contact with Kohaku the two of you descend into yet another fit of giggles, because holy shit, this cannot be reality. But it’s true, and as your friend pulls you into her arms to congratulate you on what’s supposed to be some monumental event, you can’t help but feel like the act really does live up to the hype. Or perhaps you just got lucky with who you got to do it with.

You end up hounding Ryusui into lending you his cape, just until your little situation clears up and you’re a bit more decent. It’s his fault anyway, so it’s the least he can do, but he honestly seems reluctant for you to cover them up for whatever reason. You simply punch his arm weakly, making a half-hearted comment about him being perverted to which he responds that you’re no better. Which you hate to admit is true, because you kind of like shifting the fabric of the cape aside when no one is looking just to prove there’s still a reminder of him on you. Or whatever, you realize it’s kind of corny.

So, is this what actually being in love is like? All these trite little thoughts that won’t stop racing through your mind whenever you lay eyes on him? You’re so distracted these days, and you spend so much time at his place that Kohaku suggests you might as well move in. To which you remind her that you and he have technically only been reconnected for less than three months at this point. And somehow that was enough for you to fall completely head-over-heels, but not quite to live at his place. That’s a little much, even for the two of you. But it does have you questioning the fact that you and Ryusui have quite literally moved faster than stone age lesbians.

Senku even comes up to you at some point, practically begging you to sit in on the conversations about how to proceed. “Believe me, I know you don’t want to be there for these boring ass meetings.” He narrows his eyes, gesturing over his shoulder to where Ryusui is chatting emphatically with a group of villagers. “But you gotta understand. When you’re not around, you’re all he talks about.” Sure enough, he’s glancing in your direction, with his captive audience’s collective gaze following his line of sight. You offer a small wave, and a grin breaks across his face. “He’s going to talk about you anyways, but it’s significantly less when he can feel you up, or whatever.”

You grimace. “Do you have to put it that way?”

“What’re you so upset for?” Senku scratches the back of his neck, the picture of nonchalance as if he hasn’t quite literally clocked your borderline inappropriate public displays of affection. “It’s the truth. If it bothered you, you’d ask him to stop.” The scientist drops yet another truth bomb, because you definitely don’t intend on telling Ryusui to stop any time soon. So in lieu of embarrassing yourself even further, you quietly agree to attend the next little science meet up. Turns out the crew back in the Empire have been assigned to grow some good old wheat so you all can make bread for the boat journey to recover the Soyuz. Honestly, you have no clue why you weren’t included in these conversations to begin with, but perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Ukyo’s ears go bright red whenever you so much look in his direction. You feel bad, but there isn’t much you can do except offer to sign him up for a lobotomy whenever Miharu rediscovers the technology.

Ryusui seems very tickled by the idea of fancy bread no matter how much you warn him that isn’t exactly possible right now. You promise to do your best; it’s the least you can do considering everything he’s done for you. You, he, and Senku take a quick trip back to the Empire so the Kingdom leader can check in on the wheat farming efforts. The stop is so short-lived that you and your sailor-turned-pilot companion hardly see any reason to get out of the basket. So much so that he may or may not have you leaned up against the railing, kissing you dizzy when a familiar voice calls out. “Oh, [Name]-chan, Ryusui-chan.” Ryusui groans, clearly frustrated at having to stop right here, although you have no idea where the fuck he expected this to go in plain sight of everyone who cares to look.

But sure enough, Asagiri Gen is approaching the two of you, waving lazily in a way that tells you he knows exactly what he’s interrupting. “Oh, my.” He stops about a few meters away, hiding his mouth behind his lilac sleeves. “There have certainly been some new developments over the past onth-may, haven’t there?” He giggles to himself, watching an uncharacteristically irritated Ryusui roll his eyes.

“Can we help you with something, Gen?” The sailor grits out, a protective arm around your waist. You nudge him, whispering a warning to behave.

Gen simply snickers even more. “I can’t come say ello-hay to my dearest friends?” He tilts his head in that creepy way of his, and you and Ryusui share an uneasy look. “My dearest friends who are very early-clay involved.” Your cheeks flush crimson, and Ryusui seems just moments away from shooing Gen out of your vicinity with a broom.

The mentalist skitters away, but not before muttering something to Ryusui about not breathing fire at him. The two of you manage to shake it off, but are interrupted once more before you can get back to where you left off by Senku’s return. “Alright, got what we needed.” Senku looks between the two of you before rolling his eyes. “You guys good to take off?”

“We’re perfect.” Ryusui is already stoking the fire to get back to the village, and Senku chuckles. At the sound of his friend’s laughter, the pilot deflates a little bit before wrapping his arms around you, which seems to placate him further. That combined with some alone time at his place when you return to the village (to which you ask him not to leave any evidence in visible places and he replies that he makes no promises) seems to really simmer him down, so you bring your newly calm boyfriend to the evening meeting. Because yes, that’s the label he wants, and you surprisingly don’t mind one bit. It feels like when you’re with him any worries that you have just, like, melt away. You should be concerned, but it all feels too good for you to care.

With the wheat in tow, you decide that it’s time to make your first attempt at stone age bread. Senku’s only knowledge of baking is from a scientific standpoint, so you take over the efforts while Ryusui looks on fondly. Until you drag both him and Chrome into the fray to help you knead, because Lord knows you can’t make a village-sized batch of bread on your own. Unfortunately, you make the mistake of letting Kohaku drag you away from the kitchen for a debrief about her earlier call with Komugi (Goddamn those lesbians are freaky) so the baking is unfortunately left up to the science-brained men. And Senku knows theoretically when to take bread out of the oven, but he doesn’t have the practical knowledge that you do.

All of this to say that by the time you return, they’ve burnt the bread. To a crisp, actually. Although Kohaku, who currently is latched onto your arm as you stare on unimpressed, seems pretty eager to dig her teeth into it. And dig is certainly the right word for it because the bread is as hard as a damn rock. She and the other villagers absolutely adore the burnt block, but you and the other modern day humans are nothing short of devastated. Ryusui and Senku even fall to their literal knees at the taste. Talk about not taking failure well. By the time you carefully approach Ryusui, gently patting his head and afraid to do much more for how genuinely messed up he is over this, he’s rambling on about how you need to revive a professional chef.

And it’s a fair point, no matter how much he backtracks about loving your cooking. You know your way around the kitchen, but you certainly have zero idea how to make shelf-stable food that’ll last over an ocean voyage. Senku is in complete agreement with the sentiment, and when those two get an idea in their mind they’re going to make it happen. And Ryusui already seems to have a person’s name on the tip of his tongue.

He mentioned Francois to you when you took that balloon ride on your birthday, confessing to you that they were the one who practically raised him. All that, and he’s still unsure if they’re a man, woman, or something in between. You suppose they’re just Francois, and from the way he talks about them he clearly judges them more for their merit as a butler than by however they may identify. You’re excited by the opportunity to meet them, but Ryusui seems to be a man on a mission as he pulls you aside. “You’re close with that journalist, aren’t you?”

“Minami? Yeah, sort of.” He raises an eyebrow, prompting you to elaborate. “She was kind of icing me out before we left, but I feel like she changes her opinion on me by the day.” You gesture between you and him, laughing humorlessly. “She definitely won’t be a fan of this.”

“It doesn’t matter what she is or isn’t a fan of. She’s hiding something.” He declares, and your eyes narrow at his accusation. But then you take a few moments to think about it, and yeah, it definitely makes sense. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons she’s been acting so weird towards you? Your eyebrows furrow as you think. “You’ve noticed it too, haven’t you? The rattling in her headpiece?”

Your mouth opens to say something, then promptly closes. You sigh. “As much as I hate to say it, I think you’re right.” You really do hate to accuse your friend of keeping secrets from all of you, but all the evidence is pointing towards it being the truth. This is something you all really need to prepare for the long journey ahead, because you can’t exactly expect freshly grilled meat to last through an expedition to South America. That, and you suspect reviving Francois will make Ryusui really happy. If you can’t have any parental figure, you might as well help grant him that.

The two of you convey your suspicions to the village team during your routine call, to which they promise to check it out. However, as pragmatic as they are, they bring up the concern that Minami won’t relent unless you offer her something in return. The line goes silent for a moment as you all think before Senku grabs the receiver from you and Ryusui. He admits quietly into the phone that he’s been thinking of making a camera, and now is as good a time as ever. You roll your eyes, because of course he can’t just do something for Minami out of the kindness of his own heart. Ryusui seems impressed by the negotiations though, but you can’t really hold it against the purveyor of capitalism himself.

And clearly, the promise of returning a camera to the journalist’s hands must work, because Gen, Miharu, and the famed Francois ride into the village on some nice and shiny stone world bicycles a few days later. You immediately run over to give your doctor friend a hug, although not without some teasing concerning the fading bruises peeking from beneath your top. You feign anger, shooing her away so she can go greet the others. Gen is snickering up a storm, so you’re pretty content to ignore his presence for now.

Francois, on the other hand, doesn’t exactly look how you expect; although you’re not sure what you’re expecting. You guess you figured they’d at least be sort of tall, but even with their platform shoes they barely have a centimeter or two of height on you. And you also need to know how their perfect blond ringlets survived a jaunty bike ride from the Empire. The others are deliberating about the vagueness of their gender when Ryusui introduces you to them as his girlfriend. They don’t bat an eye, instead offering you a humble bow before accepting your handshake. You kind of want to give them a hug considering all the good things you’ve heard about them, but you figure that’s a bit too much for the no-nonsense kind of person they are.

Your deductions are proved correct when they immediately get down to business, asking where the unfortunately baked bread is located. You and Senku share a look as Ryusui leads them in the direction of the big oven. As soon as Francois lays eyes on the mysteriously burnt black substance, their face goes ashen. “Isn’t it terrible?” Ryusui comments, clearly trying to rile his butler up.

Francois simply blinks, shaking their head. “Preparing for the worst is simply part of my work, so I must ask.” Their voice shakes as they pull out their handkerchief, raising it to their lips with an unsteady hand. “Did you really dare to serve this industrial waste to those desiring something edible?” Well, at least you found someone else who doesn’t play about making quality food. Ryusui confirms that yes, people did indeed eat this, and Francois quickly collects themself. “We’ll remedy that. What style of bread do our guests desire?” Senku fills them in on what exactly everyone is looking for, and Francois soon has a plan in order. They help you gather some goat’s milk from the auspiciously marked herd on the map.

Miharu actually ends up using the new almost-dairy product to make some skin and body care, and upon hearing you admire the berry-scented lotion Ryusui loads you up with a lifetime supply. To which he so conveniently requests that you keep at his place, so you’ll always have to come over before and after you shower. Kohaku still hasn’t dropped the idea of you moving in with him, so you can imagine how tickled she’ll be when she hears about this.

But you can’t say you can complain about having access to goat’s milk and butter. You and Francois spend a considerable amount of time in the kitchen together, to which they immediately develop a liking towards you because you’re the only one who can properly incorporate the nuts into the stollen dough in a way that they won’t be burned. You giggle as they swat at Ryusui and Senku’s hands with a rolling pin. The two are doing okay, but Francois still hasn’t forgotten their transgressions of burning the bread in the first place.

The bread turns out delicious, for what it’s worth. The villagers keep raving about the fact that they’ve never had something so tasty before, and the moderners are feeling some sort of nostalgia about their first taste of old world food. After sampling the bread, Miharu gifts Francois with a little tub of berry lip pigment, which they accept gratefully. Finally relishing the opportunity to get you alone, Miharu pulls you aside.

“I won a bet on you, you know.” She giggles behind her hand, gently grabbing your arm.

“I’m not so sure I want to ask what about.” You reply, already fully certain of exactly what she means.

“I think you know.” Honestly, you’re confused who exactly was betting against it. You hope whoever had faith in you being a stronger woman and resisting a man’s devious charms isn’t too disappointed in your easiness.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I won a bet on you first.” You point a mock accusatory finger in her direction, and she laughs.

“I don’t even need to ask.” She shakes her head, but there’s still a smile on her face. “But I have to know. Who was betting against me and Gen doing…whatever?” Well, good to know the two of you had the same thought process in response to finding out about the bet. But there’s just one problem.

“I can’t exactly reveal that.” You start, trying your best not to let the fact slip that the bet is technically still on. Not to mention that the factor up in the air wasn’t necessarily whether or not she’d end up with Gen — you all knew that would happen — but if she’d choose him or Senku first. “Gambler’s Anonymous is supposed to stay anonymous, you know.” She seems content with that answer, and you don’t have to reveal that you, Ruri and Kohaku have clandestinally extended the bet. That’s a conversation to have later with Kohaku, who’s been pestering Miharu into giving her daily updates about her relationship with Gen. She’s awfully nosy about straight sex lives for a sapphic woman.

But then the subject about living with one’s boyfriend (or whatever her and Gen want to label it) comes up, and Miharu admits that she’s been staying with Kohaku while you have your extended sleepovers with Ryusui. This fact fills you with genuine confusion. You were well aware that you and the sailor were moving a mile a minute, but if any couple were to live together it’d be Gen and Miharu. The two are practically attached at the hip, mainly due to the fact that she seems to have the mentalist domesticated and wrapped around her finger, and he keeps her on a nice long leash. Pet metaphors aside, Miharu doesn’t seem to want to dwell on the subject any longer, and knowing how it feels you’re happy to let her deflect.

And everybody is kind of distracted by the fact that Minami has been whining about when she’s going to get her camera. To be fair, her ire is expected considering she gave up the last of the revival fluid for what seems to be an empty promise. A few days after one strongly worded phone call from her, Kaseki and Minami roll in on a new and improved Steam Gorilla. The old man seems to have taken note of Yuzuriha’s styling, because he’s also rocking a brand new biker-dude-chic look. That subsequently doesn’t last long before he bursts out of his clothes at the prospect of some exciting new crafting.

Finally after sending a few guarded looks your way, Minami seems to muster up the courage to approach you while Ryusui is distracted by the camera effort. “Hey.”

“Hey, girl,” You reply, your tone almost offhand. “How was the joyride?”

“Very bumpy. That geezer doesn’t have a driver’s license.” She comments, laughing awkwardly. You chuckle along politely, but you can sense something unsaid between the two of you.

“Anything you wanna ask me about?” You decide to open the floor to questions, because there’s zero way she hasn’t noticed by now. The signs aren’t exactly inconspicuous, and to top it off you’re still wearing some remnants of him, both on your skin and around your shoulders. “I’m an open book.” Minami must think you’re some sort of loose woman, hopping from cape to cape.

“Oh, I’ve got nothing to ask. But I do have something to say,” She smirks, a devious look painted across her beautiful features. “I told you so.” She jabs your arm to punctuate each word, and you raise an eyebrow.

“You actually told me that once he got me he’d switch up, actually.” Your grin is false, almost too sharp. “Hasn’t happened yet, but if it does you’ve got my full permission for an ‘I told you so.’”

She winces. “Yeah, about that.” She’s quiet for a moment, choosing her words carefully before sighing. “I’m sorry. I was out of line.”

You nod with a breathless laugh. “Yeah, you were.” Her face starts to morph into one of panic, and you quickly elaborate as you glance at your feet. “I get it, though. We were going through so much, but,” Looking up, you meet her gaze just to find her eyes watery. “I don’t like that you took it out on me and my friends.”

Minami bites her lip as tears begin to spill down her cheeks. “I was so evil to her. I just wanted someone to blame, but —” She starts to trail off and you reach out to wipe her wet face.

“These things just happen. No one’s to blame except Hyoga.” You can’t help the way the temperature of your voice drops well below zero when you mention that man’s name. Just because you’re dating someone else doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten. You still want to get your vengeance no matter how long it takes to bring Tsukasa back. If he ever comes back.

You shake your head, flicking those morbid thoughts away along with Minami’s warm tears. She offers you a sad smile. “You were all so kind and patient with me. You, Nikki, Miharu.” She sniffs, averting your gaze. “I didn’t deserve that.”

“Everyone deserves someone to be patient with them when they need it.” She tilts her head, glancing at you out of the corner of her eye. “I accept your apology, but you should speak to her yourself when you get a chance.” The two of you look over at where Miharu is chatting about something with Senku, likely camera-related. She pauses, then nods.

Then she smiles, wiping the last of her tears from her face. “I’ll do it the moment she isn’t occupied.” There’s that devious look again. “And speaking of occupation, a few questions do come to mind right now, actually.”

You groan, although you’re not actually all that irritated. You’ve become the kind of woman who relishes getting to talk about the man she’s involved with, a fact that greatly embarrasses you. But as Minami practically conducts a journalistic interview about what she missed while you’ve been on your little romantic getaway, you don’t get the sense that she’s judging you. In fact, she apologizes multiple times for misreading the situation, and the moment your conversation ends she immediately runs over to track down Miharu. So you suppose your relationship with your journalist friend has been mostly patched up.

Thus ensues the stone world camera chronicles, with Minami being absolutely thrilled to the point of tears to receive one of her own. You know that just having the device means the world to her, even if it’s a far cry from what she’s used to, so you offer her a few reassuring pats on the shoulder as she cradles the thing to her chest. But of course, Senku just has to ruin the sentimental moment by letting it slip that this is simply the first of many cameras crafted for the purpose of the oil search. He manages to somewhat salvage the situation before Minami chucks her new camera-baby at his spiky head by agreeing to let her take the stone world’s first photo.

And even more naturally, your greedy ass boyfriend just has to demand to buy the rights to it from her. Minami is initially incensed, but after both of them witness your scarily blank expression at the prospect of them fighting Ryusui explains that he doesn’t intend on being the subject of the photo. The one who the history books should commemorate for this moment is Ishigami Senku, so that is who shall be featured. Minami deflates after that, respectfully conceding. You can practically hear the gears turning in her head as she realizes that Ryusui is definitely not the evil monster she originally thought him to be, and you can’t help but smile to yourself. Now who gets to say “I told you so,” because it’s certainly not her.

Ryusui sends Francois to collect some things from what he refers to as your “joint wardrobe,” although you’re unsure of exactly what use Senku will have for your clothes. Perhaps he just wanted an excuse to brag about the fact that you have clothes at his place. Either way, the butler returns with their slender arms full to the brim with Yuzuriha Couture bags. Miharu is so kind as to take them off of Francois’ hands so she can help Senku get ready, and that’s that for the moment being.

Then Ryusui proceeds to almost immediately pull you aside to help you “get ready,” considering Miharu wants to get some cute girls’ pictures, which essentially consists of him messing with your outfit and playing with your hair until everyone looks away long enough for him to sneak you somewhere more secluded. Both of you get a little overzealous, but when you emerge adjusting your hair in a manner that the back of your neck isn’t visible in any way, shape, or form and he’s tugging at his sleeve so no one can see suspicious teeth marks on his upper arm, no one says anything. You figure they’re all used to your bullshit by now, which is a small mercy at this point in time.

Only for Kohaku to immediately prove you wrong when she pulls you in for a photo. “Nice hair, vampiress.” You immediately regret teaching her about fairytale beasts of yore. She’d better expect some extra arduous English lessons in the future. For now, she’s easily silenced when you whisper some things you overheard in one of her phone calls with Komugi. Her face goes white, and you pinch her cheek to flood some color back into her skin before the camera flashes. Miharu grins at the two of you, then beckons Minami to join in on the photo, so you assume they resolved things on their own time. The journalist bounds into the frame, and the lot of you waste a crazy amount of film on silly poses and immortalizing the moments of holding each other close.

Senku decides to be a party pooper by dispersing everyone to get back to work, but at least you’ll be able to keep the memories of this day in the back of your mind. Gen and Miharu head back to the Empire shortly after that, with you and your doctor friend sharing a long hug before they set off. Then, you set off in the balloon with Ryusui and Senku to help them with aerial photography. Not a profession you ever thought you’d break into, but the stone world is full of surprises.

In the meantime, Francois is simply chugging away at all the gourmet dishes Ryusui throws their way. They’re doing their best with the ingredients they’ve been given, but the sailor has had a recent hankering for truffles that his butler has decided they must do everything to satisfy. They also managed to recruit Suika and her canine friend, a fact that simply elates you. The little girl runs into your arms the moment she sees you, and you spin her around while she giggles happily.

It doesn’t take long at all for Suika and Chalk to stumble upon the location of some coveted boars. You accompany them along with Francois, Kohaku, and Ukyo (with the latter two coming along for the sole sake of their superhuman senses) to apprehend your new porcine friends to help you uncover some truffles. The moment you all manage to shepherd the boars into a pen, Ryusui’s mouth is already watering at the concept of pork. You try to warn him that it may not taste the same, but he’s too carried away by the idea of an old world meal. You suppose he was so spoiled back then that it can’t be helped. Not to mention the fact that you wouldn’t exactly mind some pork chops either. You’ve been fiending for some pernil.

Thanks to some handy aerial photography, Kohaku manages to spot the other form of black gold. It seems that her desire for a tasty meal and crazy eyesight ends up discovering the Sagara oil field rather than any truffles. While Ryusui, Senku, Chrome, and Kohaku run off in an attempt to discern its exact location, you prepare to cook some delicious pork shoulder with Francois. The two of you are chatting idly when a foul, undeniably recognizable scent meets your nostrils. The butler is holding their handkerchief to your nose when the scout team comes running back, pleading for you to halt before snatching the life of this stinkier-than-usual boar away.

Turns out Sagara (what Suika has so affectionately named her new snouted friend) has been rolling around in the very oil field everyone is looking for. He leads everyone straight to a pool of oil welling up to the surface, immediately diving in and rolling around like — well, like a pig in slop. With how excited everyone is, Senku and Francois decide not to cook Suika’s new pal, a fact that elates the young girl who wraps her arms around the boar despite your protests about her getting nasty oil on her clothes.

As the year marches onward, you spend quite a bit of time with Francois. You can’t help how curious you are about them as a person considering Ryusui didn’t exactly know much about them. And it became extremely clear why after just a few conversations with the butler; they keep any personal information or stories close to their chest. In fact, they won’t discuss much about themself at all unless it pertains to their work. Having been Ryusui’s personal butler since he was a young boy, they’re extremely skilled at raising spoiled little children that mean well, housekeeping, hospitality, medicine, and even some mechanical work.

But the fact that excites you the most is that they’re on their way to becoming a polyglot like yourself. You learn that they speak English, French, and Japanese fluently, with varying proficiency in other additional tongues. They speak a decent amount of Spanish, but they agree to let you tutor them so they can achieve perfect fluency. They’re also very interested in learning Caribbean cuisine, so you rope them into your Japanese-style pernil making shenanigans. By the time of the next big holiday, the two of you should definitely have the stone world version of your beloved pork shoulder dish mastered.

Funnily — and excitingly — enough, Ryusui’s birthday just so happens to be coming up. You find out from Francois rather than the man himself, who — for whatever reason — simply decided not to disclose his day of birth to his fiesta fanatic girlfriend. You knew it was in November for the sole purpose of surmising the fact that he’s a Scorpio (the only male Scorpio you’ve ever liked, by the way) but he never gave you an exact date and you didn’t want to ask straight up for fear of ruining the surprise. So when you oh-so-casually brought the subject up to his butler and found out that he’s set to turn twenty-one on November 11, you practically started vibrating with excitement. “Francois, do you know what this means?” To the polite shake of their head, you gently grabbed their shoulders. “We have less than a month to get everything prepared.”

As expected, they jump right into hospitality mode. Francois may not talk much about themself, but they sure have stories to tell about Ryusui — although only in response to your insistent prompting. They tell you all about birthdays past — sure, about the various game systems, race cars, expensive model ship-building supplies, and even private planes he received — but mainly how he reacted and how happy they made him. Francois even tells you that it felt like giving him joy, for Ryusui is never one to take material items for granted, and you gently grab their hand. Seemingly getting used to your touchy nature, the butler’s berry-tinted lips stretch into a smile.

So, naturally, you have an idea in mind, especially considering how special he made your own birthday. But as dutiful as Francois is, you know you can’t achieve your vision alone. Of course you have your special meal planned, but Rome wasn’t built in a day, nor was it built with two sets of hands alone. You wander into the Craft Zone ™ midway through October with a goal in your sights. Senku and Miharu glance up at you from where they’re bent over a blueprint. Asagiri Gen stands behind them, tilting his head in your direction with an unreadable smile. “Hey.” You venture awkwardly.

Senku raises an eyebrow before sighing. “What do you want us to make?”

You bite your lip. Damn, you don’t even get to preface your request with a little bit of fluff? “Am I that obvious?” You’re still not used to no-nonsense people like Ishigami Senku.

“Aybe-may so,” Gen butts in, arms crossed below his chest in that way of his. “Or maybe an uper-say special day is coming up soon, and [Name]-chan is simply the best girlfriend ever.” You can’t tell if he’s making fun of you or not, but your eye twitches in annoyance regardless. Despite wanting to waste a bit of time on idle chitchat just a few moments ago, you don’t have time for Gen’s vamping. “A certain ailor-say has been looking for you, by the way. He says you’ve ade-may yourself strangely scarce around him these days.”

“Perhaps he’s imagining things.” You reply half-heartedly in Gen’s direction before turning to the two people you actually came here to talk to. “But if it were related to that, would you be willing to help me with a few things?”

Senku pauses, considering your question, before sharing a look with Miharu. Then, scarily in sync, they both turn back to you with a smile that tells you that Ryusui isn’t the only one that they’ll rob blind. “Depends on if you’re willing to help us with something.”

You end up making a deal, for what it’s worth, and you don’t lose any Dragos in the process. It’s not as if you particularly care much about the currency, anyways. The economy is Ryusui’s problem, not yours. Still, you don’t lose very much in the agreement you make with Senku and Miharu, with even Gen resolving not to instigate too much on anyone’s behalf. Perhaps Senku does have some celebratory spirit inside of him, although the whole ordeal does get you thinking exactly what kind of deal Ryusui cut to set up your birthday festivities.

Regardless, you trust that your request will make its way to Kaseki and be ready by the 11th. After all, the opposing party in your little agreement have been made well aware that you’re reneging on your side of the pact if anything falls through. You have full faith in them, though. With that in mind, you seek Ryusui out to spend some time with him, just so he doesn’t get suspicious. Or such is the reason you tell yourself for a couple hours of alone time in his room.

The closer and closer you get to the day in question, you start to realize just how hard it is to keep secrets from people. You may have been the queen (pun intended) of the surprise party in the old world, but that was when you could comfortably avoid the people you were planning to jumpscare with some festive fun. This time around, you aren’t exactly in a place to avoid the man you’re literally in a relationship with. And the worst part is that you don’t really want to.

That’s how you end up straddling his lap in his room a week before his birthday, although the occasion is the furthest thing from your mind as his hand tangles in your hair. And yeah, kissing him is certainly an effective distraction, but there’s still so much you have to do that’s not even related to the special day. Like, there’s a whole-ass ocean journey in the works, and you might actually have to make your expertise in cultural relations useful. Everyone’s working so hard, and you’re just … here. Not like having Nanami Ryusui’s face buried in your neck is anywhere unpleasant to be, but you’re still human, and you can’t always shake your inadequacies.

And ever-perceptive to the slightest changes in your demeanor, his mouth only hesitates against your skin for a split-second before he flips the two of you, pinning you under him. “Distracted?” If it were anyone else, the question would have you fearing you upset them. But Ryusui simply smiles down at you, genuinely waiting for an answer.

Your hand travels up his neck, ghosting against the sensitive skin before your palm meets the side of his face. “By you? Yes.” You’re sure if he knew about your sudden and untimely bout of imposter syndrome he’d want you to tell him. But you don’t particularly relish burdening him with that right now, and you’re certainly not lying about being pleasantly distracted.

He leans down to steal a kiss from you. “Glad I can be of service.” You think you’ve almost shaken him off your trail, but Ryusui doesn’t give up easily. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing important.” His brows furrow, and you clarify. “Seriously, it’s not important. I just want to be here with you right now, okay?” In this moment, in his arms, something. You just want to be present, away from all these thoughts of uselessness.

Sensing the change in your demeanor, he kisses you again, slow and sweet. “Would you rather we stopped talking?” Then there’s his knee between your thighs, his hand traveling up the outside of your leg. Every molecule in your body is screaming yes. So you listen. And upon hearing your affirmative reply he immediately dives in to indulging your every whim. Knowing all he needed to ruin you thoroughly was your express permission has you coming undone again and again, but that’s neither here nor there.

When you not-so-clandestinally creep back to your place the next morning, you’re met with a neatly written note laying on your pelt. The message is from Miharu, informing you that your request has been fulfilled, and it’s almost time to uphold your side of the deal. At the bottom is a cute little doodle of what seems to be a jaguar shaking hands with a black cat and a fluffier white cat . The doodle makes you chuckle to yourself as you sit cross-legged on the floor. Then you start getting kind of distracted by trying to figure out what drove Miharu to decide that a jaguar best represents you.

Only to answer your own question by almost turning around hissing in Ryusui’s face when he suddenly enters your room. “Brought you breakfast. Francois made your favorite —” You must look so incredibly guilty right now, because his expression almost immediately twists into one of confusion. “What’s wrong?” Actually, you’re currently weighing the advantages of having your back facing him right now, because he can’t see the incriminating note in your hand right now.

So in one fell swoop, you leap up to give him an uncharacteristically performative hug, taking advantage of the fact that his hands tend to gravitate to your ass to shove the note in the band of your top. That and some profuse thanks and praise you shower him in seems to throw Ryusui off enough to momentarily shelve your odd behavior in favor of practically feeding you your breakfast. By the time he leaves, you collapse back to the floor. Keeping secrets is exhausting. Thank God this will all be over with in just a few days.

The next week passes without consequence, with Ryusui getting respectfully tipsy on the night before his birthday and retiring early to bed. You promise you’ll join him after you take a shower, to which he insists on going with you. Which then leads you to swiftly changing your plans right before his eyes to wash some dishes before joining him in his room. Reluctantly, he goes off to bed, decidedly [Name]-less, and after one shared glance with Francois, the final stage of your secret mission begins.

It takes all night to finish the preparations, but you manage to creep into his room in the early hours of the morning. The last thing you want him to do is wake up alone on his birthday, after all, so you curl up on his chest as if nothing happened. He stirs slightly, just enough to wrap his arms around you, but he doesn’t fully wake up for another half hour or so. “Hi,” You greet him casually once he actually opens his eyes, kissing him as a grin splits his face. “Happy birthday.”

“Francois spilled the beans, did they?” He asks against your lips, and you giggle.

“Maybe they did,” You reply as he presses a kiss to the bridge of your nose, and you pull away with a smile. “Doesn’t matter how I found out, I have my ways. It’s your special day.” The excitement from the holiday and celebrating someone so important to you has you giddy. Perhaps the lack of sleep is adding to it, but you can’t bring yourself to care at the moment. “And I have a big day planned for us.”

“Do you?” His voice is low, still rough around the edges with sleep. Something about it has you all flustered. Or maybe it’s his hand traveling up your spine. He certainly has a one-track mind, doesn’t he? Although it isn’t as if you’re any better. Jesus, it can’t even be eight in the morning yet. But he mumbles something about you being the only birthday present he could ever want in this world, and you fold almost immediately. Oh, well, Francois won’t have breakfast ready for another hour. And as much as you wanted to help them out, you suppose your services are needed here; although you certainly aren’t the only one doing the servicing.

You and the man of honor himself stumble out of bed about thirty minutes late for breakfast. Francois simply averts their eyes, offering Ryusui a bow as they wish him a happy twenty-first birthday. Ryusui, for his part, snaps excitedly before scooping his loyal butler into a hug. Any meaningful physical contact between the two is rare except for special occasions, and you suppose his birthday falls into that category. You whisper a soft “thank you” in their direction, to which they reply with a humble nod.

If you were to ask Nanami Ryusui about his favorite foods (which you have, on multiple occasions) he would likely reply that he likes everything. If it’s you that’s asking, he’ll even tell you that anything you cook is a favorite of his. However, he’s particularly partial to some nice, luxurious French pastries. You and Francois stayed up late baking, with them applying the finishing touches to the meal while the two of you slept in. Sadly, you don’t yet have champagne for mimosas, so everyone of legal age simply makes do with a wee bit of morning wine. It isn’t exactly as if you can complain; you love a bit of day drinking on a holiday. And of course, Ryusui loves the attention, so you let him wrap his arm around you, his hand rubbing soothing circles into your skin as he boasts about just how lucky he is. There’s a mid-autumn chill in the air, so you welcome the warmth anyways. Plus, you’re still flushed from the inside-out since this morning.

You spend the day with him and your shared friends, with everyone joining in on the festivities by lunch time. You can’t help but feel bad that you weren’t able to do more with the time that you had, but Ryusui seems perfectly happy to press occasional kisses to the crown of your head and your shoulder while everyone ethically slacks off.

Speaking of ethically slacking off, Miharu presents him with a little doodle of a rather zen dragon curled around a sleepy jaguar with a devious grin on her face. “Happy birthday, Ryusui-kun.” He simply barks out a laugh, patting her head fondly. Even Kohaku extends her well-wishes, although she does tug you away from his grasp to give you a hug of her own before you take him for a lunch date by the water. It’s still chilly out, but the meal is delicious. Francois certainly outdid themself.

It has you thinking of the meals you shared in San Francisco, long, long before anything happened. Before petrification, before this. Everything changed so much in such a short time. Or, you suppose, a long time. Nearly four-thousand years worth of time, actually. A lot has happened since then, but you don’t think it’s necessarily all for the worst. After all, it allowed the talents of a high school student like Ishigami Senku to truly shine, and you made some incredible friends in Miharu, Kohaku, and even little Suika. You certainly would not have met them had that mysterious force not petrified you all those years ago.

You may have known Nanami Ryusui back then, but the people you have become are so different now. Or perhaps, you’re the exact same as you were before, and it only took, you know, an extinction event to bring you together for good. You don’t know, and any speculation is likely nothing more than wishful thinking. What you do know, as the frigid waves crash against the shore, is that you have a birthday gift for him, or such is the information you whisper in his ear as you finish your meal. “It’s not anything finished, but I’ve heard that’s part of the fun.” That riles him up quite a bit, so the two of you finish up and you lead him back to the village so you can present him with his gift.

By the time you return, it’s mid-afternoon. You slip away to the Craft Zone ™ to pick up what you need and send a discreet thanks to Senku, who simply waves you off. “It’s nothing. Go get back to the festivities. That’s what you really care about, isn’t it?” He isn’t exactly wrong. You wrap a nice red ribbon (sent your way courtesy of Yuzuriha) around the box of supplies before bringing it out to Ryusui.

And for what it’s worth, he’s absolutely thrilled to open a crate of model ship supplies. “I haven’t built one of these since before —” He trails off, clearly reminiscing about the old world before he seems to snap back to the present as he turns back to you. “This is the best gift I’ve ever received.” Luxury cars, unreleased video games, race tracks, and this is the best gift he’s ever received. Your eyes are a bit watery.

“If you want to thank someone, thank Senku and Miharu.” You say, patting his shoulder. “You know I don’t have the capacity to make something like this.”

“Ah, yes. Because Senku-chan and Miharu–chan simply sensed that Ryusui-chan loves to build odel-may ships.” Asagiri Gen chimes in from somewhere behind you, and you roll your eyes. He’s not necessarily wrong, but you can’t help but feel like you haven’t done enough.

It doesn’t matter because you can most certainly redeem yourself with dinner. You give Ryusui a quick kiss before grabbing Francois and disappearing into the kitchen, because it’s finally time for some pernil. Ryusui has had a hankering for some pork for ages now, and you don’t intend on letting him down. You can quite literally sense the gears in the butler’s head churning as you teach them how to make the dish, and you figure that they’re going to have the recipe memorized before long. You even managed to make your own stone world sofrito to use in the marinade with Francois and Suika’s help to get the ingredients together.

Since you sadly don’t have access to your beloved yellow rice and pigeon peas, you settle for a nice side salad to accompany the dish. You can’t help but be a bit disappointed that you physically can’t make everything perfect, almost to the point of tears. Francois tries to console you by asserting that Ryusui will love anything you make, but it just makes you cry harder because you don’t think you deserve his affections. You don’t tell the butler this reasoning, but as they gently and politely pat your back you think that they know. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” You apologize, accepting their handkerchief and using it to dab at your eyes.

“There’s no need for apologies,” they reply, shaking their head. “It’s perfectly natural for you to be stressed at a time like this. It’s been a long day, and you are not adequately rested.” They’re right; you’re not sure how long you’ve been in the kitchen for. They call it slow-roasting for a reason, after all, because dusk fell two hours ago and the pork is just now almost done cooking.

Still, you can’t help but draw comparisons. “You haven’t slept either.” They blink, their expression unchanged by your observation. “In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you rest, Francois.” Then start those ridiculous tears again, because you’re suddenly upset by the fact that Francois works themself to the bone, no matter how much they may or may not love their job.

Producing another handkerchief, they dab at your eyes. “You ought not worry yourself about me. I can assure you that I do rest properly.” You don’t quite believe them, but you’re already embarrassed enough at breaking down in front of them. And you’re at the state of overwork where you feel almost wired, so the rest of dinner is complete before Asagiri Gen can even come sniffing around the kitchen for scraps.

Naturally, the man of honor is served first, but when you attempt to help them get everyone else served Francois simply hands you a plate and tells you to go enjoy your dinner. The look they give you tells you that they aren’t going to take no for an answer, so you simply offer them an earnest thank you before making your way over to Ryusui where he sits by the fire. He grins upon seeing you, hugging you to him while he compliments the food as always. He’s in an excellent mood, and it’s really all that you want for him today. So you lean on his shoulder and ask him to tell you something, anything, about his life in the old world that you don’t already know.

He laughs, ruffling your hair affectionately, before agreeing. While he talks, you manage a few bites of your food and quite a few sips of wine before you’re nodding off. The next thing you know, you’re opening your eyes about half an hour later with his cape around your shoulders. You blink a few times, clearing the sleep away from your eyes, before you practically jolt awake. “Oh my God,” You turn to Ryusui who is sipping his wine with a small smile. “I was fast asleep. You must think I’m the worst person ever.” Humiliated, you shove your face into his chest as he pats your back.

“In what world would I ever think that?” He chuckles, the sound echoing against your cheek from where it’s pressed against him. You don’t respond, so he gently pulls you up until you’re face to face. “Let me tell you a secret. For my eighteenth birthday, I got a yacht. I threw a massive party with a bunch of crazy rich and famous people,” You nod, mildly confused. You already knew all of this, so you’re not exactly sure how it’s a secret. “For my tenth birthday, I had a massive racetrack built just for me and my friends. And last year — well, three-thousand or so years ago, I guess — I steered my own sailboat around the San Francisco bay.” You’re still puzzled, tilting your head as he tucks some hair behind your ear. “I’ve gotten more gifts than I know what to do with. So here’s my secret.” Then, he leans in, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “Today is by far the best birthday I’ve ever had because I’m spending it with you.”

You pull away, stunned. When you first met Ryusui, you had a hard time believing that his compliments were anything more than empty flattery. But now that you know him so well you;ve realized that he means everything he says with his entire being. All of this to say that what he’s just told you must be true, no matter how hard it is to believe that your presence is that important to anyone. Your lip starts to wobble, the tears from earlier welling back up in your eyes.

But you won’t cry on someone else’s birthday, no matter how happy the tears may be. “Thank you. You don’t know how much that means to me.” You smile shakily. He scoops you into a hug, and for once in a very, very long time, things kind of make sense. No, things definitely make sense right where you are, like everything has settled into place somewhere in your chest. And there’s one last thing you really want right now, so it’s your turn to whisper in Ryusui’s ear, asking if he’s ready to retire to bed a little bit early. Immediately catching your drift, he offers you his hand as the two of you stand up. Thankfully, Francois already offered to wash the dishes, so you’re able to sneak away to Ryusui’s room in a manner that is kind of far from discreet.

But, hey, both of you get what you want that night for sure. More than once. And then maybe again after that. Who’s to say? You’re incredibly sore yet completely satisfied at breakfast the next morning, and Nanami Ryusui is unable to keep his hands off of you for more than two minutes at a time. As your pair takes a seat by the fire later than usual, Senku simply rolls his eyes before announcing that the motorboat the science and craft team have been working on is finally complete. You appreciate him waiting to drop this news until today, because there’s nothing you hate more than holiday spotlight-stealers. Ryusui is pretty excited about it though, which makes your job decently easier.

You think back to that little doodle Miharu drew of her and Senku’s catsonas shaking hands with your … jaguarsona? Whatever the big cat she sees you as may be, you’ve got your side of the deal to uphold. You nudge Ryusui, and he hums in reply. “How would you like to go out to sea with me?” He starts to open his mouth, clearly enticed by the idea as a haze of that usual desire starts to settle over his eyes. “And Senku. And Miharu. And Gen. Chrome, too. Even Ukyo.” His grin immediately falls. You bat your lashes.

Then, he sighs. “I suppose it can’t be helped, can it?” With a kiss to your shoulder, he grumbles. “Of course, I’ll go. They need someone who understands the sea, anyways. But I’m taking you out on the boat the moment I can. Just the two of us.” You agree to go, leaving him with a kiss on the cheek and a strict warning that if he’s going with you on this motorboat test run he’s going for free. He promises not to charge Senku any Dragos for his cooperation, and you skitter away to find Miharu to let her know you upheld your end of the deal. Although something tells you she and Senku knew there was absolutely no way in hell Nanami Ryusui would ever say no to you. You really got the easy end of the deal.

The day the boat is set to leave is far warmer than usual. It’s almost the end of November, around the same time that you used to celebrate Thanksgiving back in San Francisco. Funnily enough, you hesitate to tell others about that holiday for fear it won’t catch on here. Maybe when you eventually make your way back to the land of the free. Ryusui helps you into your life jacket while Senku and Miharu are chatting about something or other.

Wait, Senku and Miharu are chatting about something or other. You pinch Ryusui’s arm with little bite behind the action and he raises an eyebrow, confused. You jut your chin in the direction of the two scientists, and understanding floods his gaze. Come on, what kind of woman would you be if you didn’t fill your boyfriend in on Gamblers Anonymous? Especially considering the fact that he’s far better at placing bets than you are. He may have joined the bet on Kohaku’s side, but there’s not exactly any bad blood between the two of you because of it. In fact, considering the way the doctor and scientist are gazing at each other, Ryusui’s luck may prove him right yet again.

He snickers, muttering something good-naturedly about you owing him a shit ton of Dragos. To which you remind him that the majority of the money you have was given to you by him, anyway, so it’d basically be money recycling for him. He’s a one man economy, after all. Still, you can’t help making a snide remark or two in Miharu’s direction, teasing her about whatever the hell is going on with her and the leader of the Kingdom of Science. Naturally, she pretends she doesn’t hear shit, a fact that practically sends you into hysterics.

Once the lot of you get out in the open waters, it’s time to activate the GPS. Yes, GPS. Of course, you and Asagiri Gen’s jaws were on the floor when you found out that was in the cards, and this time you weren’t the only ones. Ukyo manually spins the antenna rather self-consciously, attempting to catch the Empire’s signal. Sure enough, he succeeds, and the first phone call between land and sea is set in motion. Ruri’s enthusiastic voice echoes through the receiver. “Sailors, have you found your bearings?”

Chrome is vibrating with excitement. “Yup, we’re in baad business.” Ruri doesn’t reply right away, but you can catch the sound of someone whispering to her on the other side of the phone. You nudge Ukyo, who simply mouths a name. Ginro. You groan aloud. What the fuck could that moron possibly be telling the priestess? Before you can ask the sonar man for another breakdown of what exactly is being said, Ruri speaks again.

“Chrome?” The adventurer’s face softens expectantly, his cheeks flushing red. Are you really about to finally witness the stone world’s first childhood friends to lovers trope be fulfilled? “Everyone’s telling me to say how I feel, so I will. I’ve always —” You’re practically at the edge of your seat when ear-piercing static cuts through. You and Miharu share a collective groan, equally invested in this overseas romance drama. Gen is mourning the loss aloud when you realize something weird about this “static.”

Which is that it’s far too purposeful to be anything accidental. Ukyo’s face is pale when your eyes meet. Ryusui’s grip around your waist tightens. Every single one of you on this boat is fluent in Morse code. You know exactly what the signal is saying — or, rather, asking. W-H-Y?

Over and over, repeatedly, relentless. The dots and dashes don’t stop, pleading for an answer from the humans who restarted the world with their own bare hands. Ever-cowardly, Gen is quivering with fear, but Chrome is clearly feeling the exact opposite as he grabs the receiver and immediately starts hooting and hollering into it, imploring the mysterious source of the transmission to “square up or shut up.” Good to know your lessons on slang are not falling upon deaf ears, but Ryusui has to practically pry the receiver out of his hands to pass it to you. As he lectures Chrome about keeping his composure, you rapid-fire every single major language you know in hopes that something will resonate and you’ll get a reply. To no avail, you pass the task onto Senku.

“It’s you, isn’t it?” He speaks lowly into the mouthpiece, and everyone is silent, not wanting to miss a single word. The only sounds apart from his voice are the wind and the water. “The mastermind behind the petrification.” A grin that borders on manic splits Senku’s face, and a chill runs up your spine. What the fuck have you just gotten yourselves into?

a/n: i just realized there's like zero dividers this whole chapter oopises. I also realize that atp i am only posting shit for myself bc #NoOne is infested but i ALSO realize that i do not care! i have like 7 more chapters that are already finished im grown asl who cares if no one likes it but me ok bye have a great weekend everyone!!

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