˗ˏˋ realistic hi-lo the worst shitty dating canons࿐ྂ
notes: this is just for fun(fiction), plz don’t take is seriously. inspired by this post cuz me and my fellow delulu moots need to get it together, might do a pt 2 if I feel like it
warnings: some mention of nsfw, mentions of cheating, friends with benefits, mentions of choking, brief mention of kinks, toxic behaviour, periods, mentions of gaslighting and emotional manipulation, major delulu behaviour for the sachio one(I failed I’m sorry), I think I did Ryo and Kōhei dirty in this one but who cares
-ˏˋ fujio ˊˎ
He’s definitely a “where’s my hug at” kind of guy even after you both start dating
I’m just gonna say it right now, Tsukasa knows too much about your sex life
you got some weird kink?
called him “sir” by accident or like being choked or some shit like that?
Tsukasa knows (he doesn’t want to know but that’s beside the point)
He reminds me too much of my crush so this guy will definitely be flirting with everything and anything with a beating heart even if you’re dating him
Playboy fr
While you guys are in your lil talking stage he sends your picture to the gc for validation that he’s dating a pretty girl
They all want to warn you cuz you look nice but bro code comes first
Would definitely buy you menstrual products without batting an eye
His mom taught him better than to be grossed out
She’s a single mom which makes Fujio probably more respectful than the other guys around him
Does those cute couple tiktok trends with you
Talking to a bunch of girls while dating you
I don’t mean like cheating but he’s flirting too much with other ppl
Fujio doesn’t mean to flirt but he’s like super fucking friendly for no reason and is genuinely really nice so it comes off as flirting
Calls you baby, babe, princess anything really
Doesn’t look like he can keep his hands to himself
Spends time staring at you cuz you’re really pretty
Definitely the kind of guy that acts tough in front of his friends but is actually the little spoon
Unlike most the characters in this, he’s actually really sweet
But he enjoys his freedom
Is NOT the kind of guy that will let his friends make fun of you
He’s actually a pretty good listener
Will not help you with your homework cuz he didn't do it and wasn't paying attention
Has a very subtle couple picture of both of you as his lockscreen
Would 4.5/10 listen to his friends if they tell him to break up with you
-ˏˋ tsukasa ˊˎ
Cold, like super cold brrrrr kinda cold
Also a playboy like Fujio
I mean come on, look at him
Everyone loves pretty guys that look like girls with deep voices
Pretty privilege and he uses the fuck out of it
Definitely not a cheater but kinda toxic
Lies when he doesn’t really need to
Unironically calls you “pretty girl” when you’re mad
Does he actually like you?
You’ll never know
Honestly he seems like the kind of guy that’s only ever had like 1 girlfriend and all the rest are his hoes
He gets away with so much just cuz he’s good looking
I feel like he’d have your location but you don’t have his
Probably only started dating him cuz he’s pretty and he only dated you cuz he’s bored
He gives you skin care tips
Pretty guys are usually pretty freaky if you know what I mean
Doesn’t look like he can keep his hands to himself just like Fujio
He’s very mysterious and that’s what attracts people to him
Probably gets bored pretty quick tbh
You’re not gonna see him often because “bros before hoes”
But he values his private life so if he does genuinely like you he will only later tell his friends about it
Unlike Fujio, no one will no about your sex life
I think he’d be more on the possessive side tbh
So he won’t keep you as his lockscreen or ever post you (cuz why tf does anyone need to know who you are?)
If he actually wants the relationship to be serious, that’s when he’ll drop his hoes
Spends time staring at you like Fujio cuz he thinks your pretty
Will 1/10 breakup with you if his friends told him too
-ˏˋ todoroki ˊˎ
worst bf in existence (1/3) I’m (not) sorry
Probably hasn’t dated a lot but has a lot of hoes if you get what I mean
Tbh I’d be such a whore for Todoroki
He doesn’t think he’s all that good looking but girls seem to like him a lot and he takes advantage of it
Doesn’t really need his friends validation nor does he date because everyone else is and he doesn’t wanna be the one left out,, he doesn't give a fuck if he is
Mfer dates cuz he’s bored
if he actually likes you, no one will know who you are so forget the whole aspect of being shown off
you're basically his secret
You post him, he won't post you (lol tbh I wouldn't post my bf either,, maybe a pic of our hands but never his face)
Probably won't call you a pet name but maybe call you the nickname you're called at home if you have one or the same nickname your friends call you if they call you one
Definitely prioritizes fighting and the fucking Oya High leader ship more than you
You hate it but he's hot
does he actually like you?
You probably won't know
rarely actually pays attention to you
but when he does you have ALL his attention
tbh I see him dating someone low-maintenance where he doesn't have too put much effort in
not that toxic, just doesn't know how to fucking communicate
1/10 would breakup with you if his friends asked him too (doesn't need to validation)
-ˏˋ sachio ˊˎ
definitely an actual good boyfriend
I get major husband vibes from him (maybe cuz I'm super delulu for sachio but that's not the point)
not a red flag or toxic at all but somethings can be questionable
NOT the type to talk shit about his exes because he's mature enough to know problems can come from both sides
Yes I am picking favourites, my babes satchi can do nothing wrong
definitely gave you flowers the first valentines day you two were together for
honestly though,, like Todoroki, I doubt this guy would show you off too
Satchi seems to paranoid for his own good so don't expect to be going out in public with him
He's got a sister and I'm assuming(from popular headcanons) his dad passed away so his mom is alone,, therefore he had to be the man of the house
So he doesn't really give a fuck about periods
very knowledgeable about them tbh
seems like the kind of boyfriend that will gladly drive you and your friends around because he genuinely wants to be a part of your life and he thinks all of you are shitty ass drivers
friends with your friends because he wants to be apart of your life
Also takes what your friends say about you with a grain of salt because he knows all of you are ride of die type of ppl and they'd gladly lie for you to him
family oriented fr
went to ikea with you
you both are basically married
I'm so delulu for this guy omg
I don't see him as flirty
Doesn't pick up the signs when another girl is flirting with him and sometimes you think he's playing dumb on purpose
clingy mfer
you have each other's locations on
his contact name for you is just "♡" cuz no one needs to know your name
I'm not even kidding none of his friends will know who you are until maybe a long long time later
possessive but on the lowkey cuz he knows you value your freedom
Tbh I'm not even being delulu here, Sachio just genuinely seems like a really good guy
(not saying the rest aren't they're just very questionable)
long story short, I am his whore and I couldn't write anything actually realistic for him
0/10 would breakup with you if his friends asked him to
-ˏˋ yuken ˊˎ
I see him very similar to Fujio
Excpet Yuken knows he's being flirty
he flirts with other people on purpose cuz it's a bad habit now
also has major pretty privilege like Tsukasa
also uses the fuck out it
Jinkawa or maybe Shidaken or Sachio also know too much about your sex life
Like about that mole you got on your ass or some weird shit
they also unfortunately know about your kinks
It's like Fujio but in a different font
lets you do his hair and in return gets to do yours
doesn't know the definition of toxic masculinity so he will very gladly let you do his makeup
and sometimes his nails
Once again, not a cheater and actually not toxic
I already said he's like Fujio so this guy is gonna just be super flirty with everyone and everything with a beating heart
If compulsive flirting is a disorder then Yuken suffers from it
I wouldn't say he's a bad boyfriend but he flirts too much with other people and a lot of people consider that as cheating
Yuken seems like a pretty good listener
But he also likes talking a lot so be prepared to listen to his problems
lets you wear his glasses sometimes
When he's not busy he comes to your school to get you so you can go on dates
likes having all your attention
arcade dates are probably the most common
but he outshines out girls boyfriends ther by getting those girls stuffed animals and shit like that
I would say he's really a lot like Fujio
4/10 would breakup with you if his friends told him to
-ˏˋ kōhei ˊˎ
worst boyfriend in existence (2/3)
I doubt he even actually likes you
A complete asshole but you love that cuz you’re a lowkey masochist and red is your favourite colour
Randomly turns off his location and tells you “don’t worry about it” when you ask
Red flag (but in my culture we wear red at our weddings)
Doesn’t give you the time of day
is probably only dating you cuz you're hot and give him head or some shit
idk this guy is just really shitty
He's hot tho lol
gives me group leader kind of vibes
you never wanna date the leader of the group, they're always the shittest
his friends will never ever tell you the truth
I lowkey see him as a cheater tbh
and a gaslighter
"It was such a small thing and now look you've turned it into something huge when it doesn't even matter" type of guy
Just a fucking asshole
If you're with him I'm just gonna assume you're into pain or something
Or using him for his money (if yes then get that bag sis)
He also thinks you're with him for his money
If you actually aren't using him, it doesn't matter he just has major trust issues
good luck actually getting through to him
In the hypothetical situation where he actually likes you, prepared to be shown off
I see him as a very pda type of guy to show off how hot his girlfriend is to make others feel inferior
Probably won't give a fuck about what you're wearing if that is the case
he's also toxic asf idk if I mentioned that
Probably doesn't call you petname unless you're mad at him
7/10 would breakup with you if his friends told him to
-ˏˋ ryo ˊˎ
worst boyfriend in existence (3/3)
i did him and kōhei so dirty I'm not sorry
Loves Kōhei more than you
As hot as he is, let's be fucking honest with ourselves because part of the reason Kōhei thought he was so unbeatable was because of Ryo
Ryo let Kōhei get away with so much shit
and this hot ass mfer jsut seems like the type to listen to his friends and constantly need their validation
as hot as he is, plz don't date a guy like this
But unlike Kōhei, he's not a cheater
but he's pretty toxic
like he needs to know where you are all the damn time
crazy paranoid too
doesn't think you'll actually cheat but it's more his friends telling him you would
for him too be a good boyfriend he need to get new friends or like idk transfer schools
he definitely likes you, it's just he's so emotionally constipated that you can't tell if he actually does
only calls you petnames in private
I don't see him as the type to have hoes or flirt around
But that doesn't mean he'd be a good boyfriend
He lives for his friends validation
So if his friends make fun of you or talk shit, don't count on Ryo to defend you cuz he'll be laughing too
not a gaslighter but doesn't admit to the things he does and just tells you to leave it in the past
pisses you off but he's hot asf
tries to spend time with you but would leave your for his friends fr
102902/10 would breakup with you if Kōhei his friends asked him too
I love how Saboten probably told everyone how great buddies he is with that guy from Housen and meanwhile as soon as Shidaken sees him,my guy looks like someone pissed in his cereal.
