HABIT

괜찮아, 그늘이 없는 사람은 빛을 이해할 수 없어

[sgnjiyul]

SEUNGJUN

     -

     “hyuk hyung! i want you to meet someone,” he says happily, tilting his head at the red-haired male, a dimpled smile on his face. “this is my friend, jiyul. jiyul, this is hyuk!” he introduces them to each other cheerfully. “i thought you two might get along well…” he says with a sheepish, shy smile, his eyes glimmering with warmth behind the intricate mask. 

he’s acquiescent with most things when it comes to seungjun. it’s only normal to have a soft spot for a friend, after all, and seungjun’s excitement about virtually everything makes it really hard for jiyul to put a damper on anything—even by accident. so, despite not knowing what he’s getting himself into, jiyul is pliant when seungjun starts tugging him in a particular direction. it’s partially resignation; and another part of him trusts seungjun not to lead him astray.

what jiyul doesn’t expect is to be pulled right in front of someone with bright red hair akin to a cherry. it seems familiar and jiyul blinks in confusion before processing what seungjun’s said. oh. this is hyuk—

“we—” know each other already, jiyul attempts to say. the words die a little ineloquently in jiyul’s throat, like his mind is rejecting the possibility of socializing even more tonight, even if it’s in the company of friends (can he call @sgnhyuk a friend?). “hey,” is all jiyul manages for a second, the smile on his lips easy. “again,” he adds, gaze flitting from hyuk to seungjun. “hyuk and i were roommates in our first year,” he explains, his smile softening. “but you’re right. he is nice and i think we get along well too?” jiyul suggests, looking at hyuk half-expectantly. 

it’s unsurprising that somehow, seungjun and hyuk know each other. he thinks to ask how they met, but jiyul can’t muster up the energy right away to say anything more. 

[sgnjiyul]

HYUK

     -

     it’s a shame that he knows the other student probably doesn’t want to dance or anything, but at the same time? it didn’t hurt to ask. sidling up to him, hyuk clears his throat with a smile playing on his lips once their eyes meet. he hopes that he still looks as good as he had when he had left his dorm earlier that night, and he runs a hand through his scarlet hair to ruffle it slightly, so that even if it was a bit messy it hopefully looked like it had been done on purpose. or something. 

     “fancy a dance with me?” he asks, entirely forgoing the teasing pickup line that had briefly crossed his mind as he made his way over. “or maybe not—i can feel how much you don’t want to be here from across the room, you know,” he teases, an easy grin on his lips.

jiyul pulls the mask just barely off of his face to rub at his eye—promptly replacing the mask afterward because he’s a stickler for rules. he’s tired though, in more ways than one. physically (it’s past his bedtime) and mentally (because while he appreciates meeting new people and having the opportunity to try and make new friends, it’s out of character for him—he’s exhausted, and he’s much too demure to tell anyone). 

he’s hiding himself against the wall, in a corner that no one really seems to be paying attention to. jiyul slumps against it for a second, eyes fluttering to a close before opening again. he wonders if it’s too soon to try and leave—or maybe if it’d be in bad taste after the events of the night. it’s probably a little too early. maybe jiyul should stop being so negative. 

a tiny sigh slips past jiyul’s lips and he stands up straighter, his gaze scanning the periphery as he tries to make a decision as to what to do. he’s more or less settled on finally leaving (after thinking about it fifty-thousand times in the past hour alone) when a vaguely familiar voice seems to address him.

“oh,” jiyul murmurs, his eyes widening when he notices hyuk—impossible not to recognize now that they’ve had one run-in (plus, no one else really seems to be a cherry). he smiles, faintly, letting out a quiet laugh. “i’m not very good at dancing,” he admits, shoulders sagging briefly. “i’m also not very good with parties like this one,” jiyul adds, though he figures hyuk probably doesn’t need to be told that to notice.

still, it’s kind of nice having someone like hyuk around. jiyul feels less on-edge, at the very least, and he wouldn’t mind idling for a little while longer in the right company.

“that bad, huh?” jiyul asks, tilting his head to the side. he sighs again. “are you good at dancing? i might step on your toes...” he trails off, biting back another small smile. “oh, i don’t remember if i told you... sorry, everything about this night has moved a little too quickly for me—” jiyul runs a hand through his own hair, shaking his head like he’s trying to recollect something. “—but you look nice.” 

[sgnjiyul]

aurora

there’s a part of jiyul that wants to make a break for it. he’s grateful to have had the opportunity to attend the masquerade, but he knew almost immediately that events like this one would never quite be for him. still, he’d made an immense effort to try to make the most of it—but it’s been enough time and jiyul thinks his experience warrants an early conclusion.

it’d be easier to slip away without saying anything to anyone, and he’s sure no one would really mind if he sent a text explaining he was heading home, but he thinks he’d feel uneasy if he didn’t check in with @sgnhyunjae at the very least. 

he walks around the edge of the ballroom, gaze watchful for a familiar presence. he spots two, hyunjae and seungjun, and he’s about to call out to them when he witnesses an encounter that doesn’t feel real. for one, jiyul can’t put a finger on a single time that hyunjae’s snapped at seungjun. the masks don’t do enough to obscure what’s happening. he hesitates, wondering if maybe he shouldn’t interrupt, but when jiyul focuses again, hyunjae’s alone.

idle moments pass and jiyul shakes aside the errant thoughts and pushes his way through to the bar. “hey,” jiyul says, first, in greeting to hyunjae. he looks at his friend and then at the bartender, shaking his head discreetly when the bartender poises themselves to hand over another glass of a clear liquor. “no more alcohol, please,” he mouths instead before returning his attention to hyunjae. “how much have you had to drink?” 

he closes his hand over the abandoned glass of whatever hyunjae had ordered, sliding it closer to himself and pushing the new glass of something clear and fizzy—probably soda—to hyunjae. 

“you don’t look like you’re having too great a time,” jiyul murmurs, the tiniest, almost apologetic smile on his lips. 

[sgnjiyul]

boy who cried wolf;

HYUNJAE

it’s probably something he shouldn’t do so often, sending cryptic messages to jiyul without thinking of the implications lying underneath the ominous texts he had sent out. he can’t help himself though, hyunjae doesn’t usually ask something of someone, it feels weird and out of character. he’s still trying to get used to it.

ideally, he wouldn’t need to make jiyul worry that he set the kitchen on fire or something, but if the older’s brain reaches that far—well, that’s not on hyunjae, is it? he doesn’t control what jiyul is going to think and assume. you could argue that he has control over his texts, but he never really thinks before he sends his messages anyway.

he turns his head towards jiyul, looking at the older with interest. “you thought, what?” he’s a little curious, but jiyul drops the topic as soon as he brought it up, so hyunjae doesn’t press on. yet. “i just started playing today. but i haven’t lost yet, so maybe you have a right to be worried.” there’s a mischievous glint in his eyes. does this mean victory is secured?

beating jiyul so quickly on the first round won’t be all that fun, so of course he agrees to the practice round with a nod. he lets jiyul get familiar with the controller, quickly choosing bowser, the real hero of the game, according to the many theories he has watched. fuck mario.

“i had a schedule today that got cancelled. so here i’ve been playing this since the afternoon.” he briefly explains, leaving out the part where he was convinced to play the game because he got called a workaholic. “are you eyeing waluigi? i thought you’d go with toad. he suits you. soft and kind of lackey-like. oh, that sounds kind of like luigi too, but toad is cuter.”

he takes a curious glance at jiyul. “what does that mean? wasn’t i being specific?”

the only game he’s played actively is a mobile game where you take care of stray cats. that’s literally it—and most of the cats are easy to please. there’s zero challenge aspect to the game, and it’s therapeutic at best. though he’s recently started to dabble with the harvest moon franchise, even that’s for leisure at best.

all that considered, he can already tell that mario kart might be beyond his area of expertise—especially when he’s feeling a little lost at the character selection scene alone.

“you should have called me over earlier then,” jiyul murmurs, half-paying attention to hyunjae and half-focusing on the screen. he moves his curses back and forth between waluigi and toad with much deliberation. “i was just repotting my plants all day,” he explains, belatedly. he thinks he’ll settle on waluigi out of sheer pity alone until hyunjae interjects with his own “wisdom.” “lackey-like?” jiyul repeats, frowning out of habit. “whose lackey am i? yours?” he selects toad anyway. “i just felt bad for waluigi. he doesn’t look very popular.”

maybe jiyul can relate. then again, he’s sure waluigi actually has reason to be unpopular if there’s a whole story behind all of these characters that just goes entirely over his head.

“oh.” jiyul exhales softly, shaking his head. “no, never mind. i just thought maybe—” for someone jiyul considers one of his closest friends, hyunjae certainly has a knack for keeping him on his toes. maybe it’s on purpose. maybe it’s not. jiyul probably doesn’t really mind either way. “i just thought you were hurt or something. or... um... really sad, i guess? the text sounded... ominous.” 

he’s glad hyunjae’s okay, and that’s all that matters in the end. though clarifying texts would be cool too.

“anyway, let’s do a practice game,” jiyul insists, feeling more excited—childishly—by the second at the prospect of trying the game out. it’s easier to relax around hyunjae, and easier to talk more too (which is a double-edged sword, really, because he’s not used to it). “who’s your character?” he squints at the screen. “bowser? he looks kind of like you... prickly.”

[sgnjiyul]

anyone else cursed w being the slowest person on the planet lol.. haha...... [me 2 my reflection] cheers bro ill drink 2 that.

HIIIIIIIIIII i’ve been meaning to put up a fresh new plot call for a lil while now but got bogged down by the crippling weight of ~academia~ so please like if you’d be down to plot!!! and i’ll scoot to ur ims (or discord if that’s easier!!!)

OR!!!!! BC IM FULL OF SURPRISES!!!!!!!! leave an emoji in the replies if u would trust me with ur life and let me write u a random starter 🐥 

[sgnjiyul]

HYUK

<   𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒  > ✉️ with toothless @.toothless98

»  yeah i’ve been doing more classes to catch up  »  because of The Incident i told u about last christmas haha 🤧 »  i have one prof i like tho! she seems rly ~chill~  »  and i got my studio hours approved so i’m going to be there a lot to finish my portfolio  »  bleh 😒 »  just boring stuff yanno  »  your life sounds more interesting than mine tbhhhhh   »  what?! do i need to go there and beat him up!!! how dare he treat u like that!!!  »  no i don’t think you’re intimidating i think you’re great  »  maybe he was having an off day? or smth??  »  it’s funny bc i ran into an old friend a few? days ago?  »  and i was being polite and he just made fun of meeeeeeeeeeeee!!! icb  »  toothless, do u think i’m easy to make fun of 🥺🥺🥺  »  🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 »  i didn’t think he would!!! but he did!!!! i am lowkey: sad  »  emo vibes haha 😖

(DIRECT MESSAGES) ✉️ / grey 🥀 @.calligreyphy

💬 /  it’s not boring! that’s really exciting!  💬 /  or... well... i don’t know what studio hours mean but it sounds exciting! 💬 /  you’re doing great 😊 💬 /  i haven’t really been doing much though... still working at the same place...  💬 /  the shelter i’ve been volunteering at has been seeing a lot of adoptions recently though! 💬 /  have you ever considered adopting a pet? if you ever do, come to my shelter!!  💬 /  😭 💬 /  😭😭😭 💬 /  😭😭😭😭😭😭 💬 /  if you think i’m great, then i’ll be okay...  💬 /  ???? don’t be sad!! they were being mean! it’s their fault 😠 💬 /  it’s just our luck having these weird chance encounters though...  💬 /  don’t be sad, grey! i think you’re great too 😊 💬 /  tell me more about your studio hours (?)  💬 /  i wish i was more artistic too... do you offer lessons? 😁

[sgnjiyul]

HYUK

     -

     (his thoughts drift to his friend, remembering when he had asked, do you believe in fate, toothless? that two paths could cross and meet again further down the road? maybe me and my friend just met at the wrong time?) 

     at the mention of lunch though, hyuk has to pause in his wandering thoughts, trying to remember if he had eaten yet. it wasn’t unusual for him to lose himself in his work and forget to eat—it happened too often, and he can hear a voice in the back of his mind that sounds suspiciously like jiyul’s (of two years ago) scolding him if he listens hard enough. “i …” he hesitates, managing to look sheepish enough that hopefully the voice wouldn’t manifest in the jiyul in front of him. “i don’t think i’ve eaten yet today, actually, so i’ll take you up on that.”  

hyuk’s as easy to talk to as ever, so jiyul unwittingly starts to relax a little bit too. he’s quiet for the most part as he follows behind hyuk, balancing the boxes in his arms and periodically peeking past them to make sure he hasn’t lost sight of hyuk or fallen too far behind. 

while he has to question his luck for dragging him into situations where he always seems to be doing chores and running errands for the rare passerby that isn’t intimidated by him, he supposes fate must pity him. a chance encounter with an old friend is enough to quell the numb ache in his arms, after all. 

“my kakaotalk username...” jiyul murmurs, trying to recollect it. when he remembers, he almost laughs at how plain it is. “it’s just songjiyul98,” he says, noting to himself that every username he’s ever had follows the same format, more or less—including his clandestine twitter handle. 

it seems like the hallway’s coming to an end, which probably means the studio’s in sight. he’s relieved—the boxes aren’t too heavy, but they have been in jiyul’s arms for much longer than he would have liked. his attention’s flickering as hyuk considers his lunch invitation, but at hyuk’s omission, jiyul frowns instinctively.

“you haven’t eaten today?” he repeats, the distant formality he’d been using as a shield just moments earlier shifting rapidly into a nagging tone. “it’s almost 3pm,” jiyul chides, lips pursed as he follows hyuk. “you always did this our first year, too...” jiyul continues, and he almost sounds petulant, like he’s whining, before he realizes (maybe too late) that he’s being too familiar. he’s lucky his face doesn’t show color well, but his ears are unfortunately already a bright red. “i—sorry. that was,” he stammers out, “i didn’t mean to nag.” 

they reach the end of the hall and jiyul gazes at the door most proximal to them, noting that it’s probably the studio hyuk’s been leading them to. 

“but you really should eat breakfast and lunch,” jiyul adds, a little quieter, his words borderline mumbled. his ears are still a little pink when he tears his gaze from the ground to the door again. “is this it? i’ll set the boxes down and we can get something to eat, then. i’m not too picky. why don’t you decide where we should go?” 

[sgnjiyul]

boy who cried wolf;

HYUNJAE

-

of course jiyul was his go to person—friend? maybe?—to drag along, the other usually never leaves hyunjae hanging. he knows jiyul will come, so he doesn’t even bother to check the messages that he received after his own.

and what do you know? jiyul is knocking on his door within a moment’s notice.

he lifts himself up from his spot on the floor and opens the door swiftly. “thank god,” he says, pulling jiyul in ceremoniously before dragging the older towards his set-up. “i was literally dying from doing this on my own.” he takes one controller as he sat back down, patting the space next to him. “ready to get wrecked?”

the door swings open and jiyul has to bite his tongue to keep from straight-up crying.

he isn’t sure if the tears would be out of relief or because he feels like he’s been bamboozled again, but that’s not for him to unpack. there are layers, and jiyul’s not going to touch them. instead, he lets out a muffled, barely audible, strangled noise, grimacing as he looks at hyunjae, still feeling remarkably out-of-breath for a midfielder (his captain would be so disappointed). 

“i thought—” jiyul starts, pitifully, trailing behind hyunjae like a dejected puppy before sitting down right where hyunjae tells him to. he lets out a heavy sigh. well. maybe hyunjae doesn’t need know that jiyul assumed the worst. all that matters is he’s okay, in the end. and that’s what he repeats to himself like a mantra as he picks up the other controller. “i’ve never played this game... isn’t this unfair?” he asks, jutting his lower lip out as he squints at the screen. 

the realization that jiyul sprinted to hyunjae’s dorm assuming that whatever he cooked up by the boatload became sentient and was holding hyunjae hostage (okay, not really, but this is one of the worst case scenarios) when in reality what was awaiting jiyul was mario kart? well. he’s embarrassed.

“practice round,” jiyul urges, elbowing hyunjae’s side insistently. the only game he’s actively played involves limited hand-eye coordination and while he’s fully anticipating getting his butt handed to him, he still wants to have fun. “wait, how do i even use this controller...” 

jiyul rolls his shoulders once he’s figured out how the controller should be held, feigning some sort of pump-up routine. 

“is this all you’ve been doing today?” he asks, waffling between two characters to choose between. toad is really cute, but waluigi looks like he’d be really unpopular, and maybe that tugs at jiyul’s heartstrings. “and the next time you text me, could you... be a little more specific?”

[sgnjiyul]

* for old times’ sake ,

SEUNGWOO

     -

     “i’m not on the soccer team anymore,” he confirms with a smile that almost mirrors jiyul’s, sad but resigned. he glances down at his own knee, and while it’s true that the injury had taken him out of soccer, his knee is more than just functional now and he’s been enjoying the recreational soccer games he’s been playing with his friends. 

     “well… i tore my acl,” he says to jiyul, the sad smile still on his face. “i’m sure you heard about that. it’s been a year and a half now, so it’s okay — i’ve actually been playing again, just for fun! we should play sometime. are you still on the soccer team?” he asks the younger with genuine curiosity, his smile warmer now. “actually, if you’re not busy now, let’s go grab a coffee.”

he’s not good at making friends—this much, he knows. it makes appreciating the friends he does have that much easier, and while jiyul’s never had a lot to say, he’s always been grateful for the pillars of support he’s found in the most unexpected of places. seungwoo’s one of them, and though they don’t have soccer anymore, it’s the same on and off the field; jiyul looks up to him the way he would an older brother. 

he isn’t sure if it shows on his face, the waves of emotion he’s wading through. there’s shock, a biting sort of sadness, and then relief all at once. jiyul lets out a faint exhale—gratefully—when seungwoo explains he’s fine now. 

the smallest smile works its way onto jiyul’s lips when he meets seungwoo’s gaze again. “i’m really glad,” he says, gaze dropping again when he feels like he’s been too forward. “i’m glad you’re okay, hyung,” he adds, because it was never just about soccer. jiyul presses his lips together before nodding firmly. “i’m still on the team. trying to get back into it, at least... but i’ll play with you whenever you’re free.” the tiny smile he’d been wearing stretches into a grin—almost rectangular. “you’re still my captain, after all.” 

the truth is, the soccer team doesn’t feel the same when seungwoo isn’t technically his captain, but jiyul’s more than thankful that seungwoo seems to have made peace on his own. there’s nothing left for jiyul to do but accept that—and he will.

“as long as you’re not busy,” jiyul acquiesces when invited to coffee. it’s nice, he thinks in retrospect, connecting with familiar faces. he’d been concerned about finding a place to fit into upon returning, but he’s managing. “you can lead the way,” he adds. 

to be frank, he’s a little on edge around seungwoo—but not for the same reasons that he’s on edge around his actual older brother or his father. jiyul just doesn’t want to seem too unreliable in front of someone he really looks up to. 

“military service was really long, but i feel like toward the end... i was really considering staying.” jiyul hums, figuring there isn’t much else seungwoo would want to say about his injury. “it wasn’t easy work, but it was nice—the sense of belonging, i guess. my family would have been happy if i did.” he scratches his cheek. “sorry, i think i’m talking too much.”

[sgnjiyul]

˚∘ ✧ kitty kisses —

SEUNGJUN

     he pouts at the other when jiyul doesn’t answer his question right away, and though he appreciates the thought of two jars of marmalade, he wants to know why the other keeps rejecting all his invitations to cat cafes. surely it’s not possible that jiyul is always busy, not when seungjun varies the date and time that he asks. going back to the yuja marmalade, though, he does love his hot teas. 

     “thanks, hyung,” he mumbles finally and he clings onto the other’s arm, wondering if holding onto to jiyul won’t sway the other into at least giving him a legitimate reason. when jiyul finally does turn the conversation back to the cat cafe, seungjun brightens, blinking up at the other. 

     “i don’t just want to go to a cat cafe,” he says simply, blinking at the other with a tilt of his head. “i want to go to a cat cafe with you,” he explains, “because i think you’d have a lot of fun, hyung.” his voice softens slightly. “you were so happy the day after we patted that stray cat… i wanted to make you happy again and i thought a cat cafe would be fun.” 

     at the mention of his roommate’s very illegal pet, he smiles wryly. “we’re not even allowed to have pets, you know. subinnie is naughty,” he giggles a bit as he clings onto jiyul’s arm comfortably, allowing the older male to guide them towards the building exit. “i don’t really want a pet, though. i don’t think i have time for one,” he muses quietly, “although they would be nice to cuddle… do you want a pet, hyung?”

his attention’s split between seungjun’s voice and the path in front of them, so it takes a second too long for jiyul to process precisely what the younger boy has said. jiyul falters for a second, nearly tripping over a stray pebble before catching himself. 

“with me?” jiyul echoes, blinking slowly—the shock registering after the fact. oh no, he can already feel his heart melting! his lips tug downward into a habitual frown and jiyul suddenly feels much less certain of his convictions. “i... sorry. i didn’t realize,” he confesses, gaze flickering from the side of seungjun’s face to a far-off spot. 

how could he say no now? after seungjun’s been going through all of this trouble for weeks just because he wanted to see jiyul happy? he bites his lower lip in mild consternation—but he’s already more or less acknowledged that he’ll be caving in. 

“aren’t you an accomplice?” jiyul asks, smiling faintly, teasingly. “i think i’d like a pet someday... it’s hard taking care of one alone with classes and work though. maybe i’ll wait until someone wants to split the work,” he suggests, considering, briefly, what kind of pet he’d get. probably a cat. maybe a dog? he could pick up a hedgehog and name it after hyunjae. 

jiyul slows his steps just barely, fingertips drumming a faint pattern against the slope of seungjun’s shoulder.

“um... seungjun?” he starts, hesitant as always. “i’ll go to the cat cafe with you,” he says. “it’s not that i didn’t want to go... the reason was kind of dumb anyway.” jiyul smiles again, sheepishly. “sorry. i didn’t know you were thinking of me.” 

[sgnjiyul]

(DIRECT MESSAGES) ✉️ / grey 🥀 @.calligreyphy

💬 / grey? 💬 / sorry i haven’t been around much... classes got so hectic 🙁 💬 / you’ve seemed busy too though! how has your semester been? 💬 / classes okay? tell me everything~ 💬 / oh, actually... something funny happened to me recently  💬 / i ran into a friend i hadn’t seen in a really long time. maybe two years?  💬 / and he treated me like a business acquaintance...  💬 / or an almost stranger...  💬 / 😭 do you think i come across as intimidating..? or unapproachable? 💬 / i thought i was getting better but maybe not...  💬 / i wish talking in person was as easy as talking to you on twitter 😔 💬 / ah 💬 / sorry, enough about me! i missed you! tell me how you’ve been 🥰

[sgnjiyul]

HYUK

     -

     it’s a bad habit, he knows. he makes decisions without thinking them through, and he really should know better by now. but like he had thought earlier—righting his wrongs. he’s doing his best, and he had been thinking about reaching out to old friends that he had lost contact with. and the first person on that list was standing directly in front of him. 

     he gasps, looking a bit sad. “i missed your birthday.”

it’s been a long while since the last time he had a conversation with hyuk like this, but for the most part, it doesn’t really feel like much has changed—at least not after the initial formalities fade and the awkwardness of a stilted first conversation dissipate. this is hyuk after all. jiyul knows him.

“um...” jiyul frowns, his expression shifting from one of ease into one of contemplation. “i... i’m not positive who she was, to be honest,” he confesses. the encounter had happened out of the blue—and to be quite frank, he was shocked that the girl had approached him in the first place, considering his general demeanor’s never been too inviting. “i think we took a class together freshman year but i’m not sure.” this probably isn’t helpful at all. plus, the boxes are feeling heavier by the second. “it’s a bunch of fabric and cloth, if that helps at all? maybe she’s in your major...? she was about a head shorter than me, with cropped blonde hair.”

he shifts, repositioning his hands so his grip’s a little more secure. jiyul isn’t sure how fragile fabric could possibly be, but it’s not his stuff, so he feels obligated to be more careful. 

hyuk’s more passionate reaction to the tease draws a startled but amused smile out of jiyul. “i was just teasing,” he says, almost apologetically. “but i’d love to catch up. um, maybe after i figure out where to put these—huh?” his birthday? 

jiyul blinks, uncertain as to how he should respond. once, his brother had told him: you look like you might cry when you laugh sometimes. he wonders if that’s how he looks right now, as his expression breaks into an incredulous laugh. 

“that’s—that’s okay,” he manages to get out, his laughter—already quiet—subsiding into the shaking of his shoulders. “ah, that’s... really so like you to worry about something like that. it’s really not a big deal, i promise. thank you, though, for remembering.” 

idly, he takes another step forward into the building, nearly stumbling over a loose tile before catching himself. the shock of hyuk being upset about missing his birthday of all things definitely caught him off-guard. jiyul bites back another smile. 

“could you lead me to a good place to set these down?” jiyul asks, tilting his head to the side. he falters, wonders if he’s being a little too quick on the uptake about this. it’s out of his comfort zone to even ask someone who’s practically a stranger, but he has to remind himself—two years may have passed, but hyuk’s the furthest thing from a foreign face. “and... if you haven’t eaten, maybe we can grab lunch or coffee after? only if you’re free though—and no worries if you aren’t.”

[5oobin]

pose time with seonghwa 🤍 

[sgnjiyul]

somebody like

MIYOUNG

-

“unnie, i promised jiyul i’d show him something before we head back to seongnam.” she gave her a small pat on the shoulder. “so, you two enjoy the rest of your meal and… yeah, we’re going to go.” and don’t you get any ideas, either one of you. standing up, she grabbed her purse and held onto it. the food was good though. she wasn’t even going to lie and say that it wasn’t, because it was amazing.

turning on her heels, she started to walk away.

all too often, it’s miyoung who leads their great escape. she’s better at coming up with foolproof reasons why they have to leave, and jiyul’s eternally grateful because he can’t get through an excuse without stammering—especially when he has to make it to his older brother. 

the only thing he manages as miyoung speaks is a nod, his gaze flitting from the cutlery, the tablecloth, and then to his brother, who seems to be surveying him curiously. “sorry, hyung,” he adds, smiling a little bitterly. it was kind of nice seeing his brother for a few minutes—the time spent apart had definitely made jiyul feel a little fonder. but the few minutes passed all too quickly. “and thank you, noona. dinner was good. i’ll message you later, hyung. have a good night.”

he quickly rises from his seat, pushing the chair in and walking out behind miyoung. he waits until the door to the restaurant closes and they’re a sufficient distance away before letting out a sigh of relief that he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. 

“that was a lot,” jiyul murmurs, rubbing his neck. he walks closer to the edge of the sidewalk, holding his hand out to attract a taxi cab. if all else fails, he supposes he’ll order one instead—but the streets seem teeming with cabs at this hour. “how long has it been since you’ve seen your sister?” he asks, glancing at miyoung. 

considering miyoung’s a reoccurring motif of jiyul’s youth and childhood, he’s much more relaxed around her than he is around a handful of his classmates. the perks are great—the cons just mean they have burdens to share (like this dinner) that really ought to come with a warning sign or three. (and they might; not like either of them have the choice to heed them.)

“i think it’s been half a year since i saw my brother,” jiyul continues, trailing off. “some things never change, i guess.” 

[sgnjiyul]

˚∘ ✧ kitty kisses —

SEUNGJUN

     he only beams up at the taller male when jiyul’s arm snakes around his shoulders, holding him securely. jiyul is almost as good as his brother and ahri when it comes to cuddles. not quite as good as the people who have been in his life for a lot longer, but the older male still does provide a lot of comfort despite their relatively short friendship. he’s known seungmin and ahri for practically his whole life, after all. 

     “i am excited!” he chirps happily. he makes a face as jiyul pinches his cheek, his expression twisting in response. but jiyul’s rejection comes immediately after, and seungjun’s face visibly falls. “but, hyung…” he says, a small pout coming onto his lips. that’s undignified, his brother’s voice reminds him in his head, just before he’s about to whine, and seungjun flushes internally, feeling a bit embarrassed. so he composes himself before he voices his question, still looking genuinely upset. “but why, hyung? you always say next time,” he doesn’t stop his pout from forming despite his brother’s voice echoing in his head. 

     he huffs softly, not wanting to let the topic go. “i wouldn’t say no to a jar of your yuja marmalade,” he shrugs slightly, even as he latches onto the other’s sleeve, determined today to get jiyul to go to a cat cafe with him. at first, he’d thought it was because jiyul was just busy, but now, more and more, he’s starting to get a sneaking suspicion that that is not the reason why jiyul keeps turning him down.

seungjun’s persuasive without even trying, really. one look at the crestfallen expression on the younger’s face and jiyul almost wavers, but he has to remind himself that going to a cat cafe probably wouldn’t be as magical an experience as the other’s hoping. especially considering jiyul’s terrible track record with cats.

maybe it’s just the stray cat near the coffee shop he works at that hates him. the cats he’s seen in any clinical classes or externships have been pretty amenable to him. but who knows? what if the entire feline population at the cafe just decides they don’t like him? jiyul winces at the thought. 

“really? i’ll save two jars for you then,” he says, gliding past seungjun’s question to focus on the yuja marmalade. it wasn’t an excuse—he really did make too much. plus, yujacha’s always good for cold weather. 

but there’s a little bundle of guilt at the base of his throat because it is hard for jiyul to say no to seungjun, and harder to see seungjun so disappointed. the reason is kind of stupid, but jiyul isn’t sure if it’s a good idea to visit the cat cafe when his progress with the cafe stray has been abysmal. 

“why do you want to go to a cat cafe so badly?” he asks softly, patting seungjun’s shoulder in as much encouragement as he can muster up. seungjun’s been insistent about it over the past few weeks, and jiyul has to wonder why. “are you thinking about getting a cat too? aren’t your hands full helping subin with phantom?” jiyul’s lips curve into an easy smile. 

arm still wrapped around seungjun’s shoulders, jiyul gently begins to guide them in the direction of the building exit. the next class will probably start soon and he doesn’t want to get stuck in the human traffic. 

[sgnjiyul]

mentha spicata

BACKDATED TO MARCH 2020

living alone in a rather spacious dorm seemed like a blessing at first, but it almost feels too big for one person these days. he’s too much of a stickler for rules to really challenge himself to bring home any of the animals from the shelter he’s been volunteering at, but plants seem like the closest alternative he can manage. 

jiyul doesn’t know a lot about taking care of plants, but the lady at the nursery seemed pretty enthusiastic about this specific spearmint plant as a stepping stone—so he’s optimistic. plus, it’s kind of nice seeing so much green. maybe he’s a little fond of it already. should he name it?

he’s a little distracted as he walks across campus, gaze flickering from the path in front of him and back to his plant (still thinking of names—is it weird to name plants, he wonders?). it’s not surprise that at some point, jiyul’s attention focuses for too long on the plant, and whether it looks like it might be wilting already. the tip of his shoe catches on an uneven edge of the pavement and he stumbles forward.

thankfully, he barely catches himself. not so thankfully, the tiny mint plant goes flying—and flying until it starts falling, and falling, landing upside down, almost completely upturned, on some poor, unsuspecting student ( @sgnsunwoo ).

jiyul freezes, eyes widening ever-so-slightly. he feels paralyzed, isn’t sure where to begin with damage control. he’s bad with strangers as is, but when a disaster’s struck?

he rushes forward, busying his hands with brushing the dirt off of the stranger’s shoulders and picking up the remnants of his poor, unnamed plant. “i—i’m so sorry. i wasn’t watching where i was going, and i—i’m sorry. can i... ah, pay for your laundry?”

[sgnjiyul]

shatter

he’s usually pretty good about staying on top of things, namely his schedule. being busy is nice, but only when it’s manageable—and it’s only manageable when he’s organized. so, jiyul goes out of his way to stay as organized as possible because he doesn’t like being late, and he doesn’t like keeping anyone else waiting. 

but today’s not a great day, by any means. it might just be a bad stroke of karma, or maybe there’s a pebble in his shoe he hasn’t noticed yet. maybe he shouldn’t make excuses for waking up on the wrong side of the bed, a few minutes too late (is that really all it takes to throw him off?). 

he’s rushing out of the library to make it to the next bus—his usual bus—which he’ll definitely miss if he doesn’t sprint. sprinting in the library doesn’t seem like the greatest of ideas, though, so jiyul settles on walking as quickly as possible, breaking into a light jog when he reaches the stairwell, picking up the pace the closer he gets to the entrance—when, of course, he nearly collides with someone, just barely grazing their shoulder with his instead.

there’s a clattering noise as some books fall to the floor, among other things, and jiyul balks. “i’m so sorry,” he apologizes, taking a step closer to the girl ( @sgnyeeun ) to help her out—only to step on something that absolutely, definitively crunches beneath the sole of his shoe.

what the?

jiyul looks down, sees the remnants of what he thinks might be a pair of really expensive looking eyeglasses.

“oh no,” he murmurs, feeling his heart sink. “i’m—are these—oh no, i-i’m so sorry!”

today’s not a great day, by any means. it might actually just be the worst.