his smile is bright, warm and genuine initially. it falters when he notices that hyunjae’s smile is barely there, not reaching his eyes, and he hesitates. then hyunjae REPLIES, and seungjun is thrown off. this isn’t what he’s used to at all. hyunjae’s tone is flat, without any of the emotion he’s used to hearing from the older, and his smile falters and falls.
“i—“ he starts, but he finds that he has nothing to say to the other in reply, more confused than anything else, about the other’s behaviour. hyunjae’s next words are even more confusing and he takes a half step back, his eyes widening slightly behind his mask.
“my girlfriend?” he asks, sounding rather puzzled and he’s not sure whether he’s more baffled by the fact that hyunjae thinks ahri is his girlfriend, or by the fact that the older male sounds upset. “do you mean ahri nuna??”
without even waiting for the other to confirm, he shakes his head. “nuna isn’t my girlfriend,” he says and there’s no hesitance in that statement, but he follows it up almost immediately with, “she’s my fiancée, actually. kind of… it’s kind of complicated.”
it’s apparent that seungjun had noticed he was acting out of character, or at the very least, unlike himself whenever he’s with the younger. hyunjae can’t even provide an explanation as to why, yet he knows that whatever it is, he can’t tell seungjun about it. a part of himself is telling him that it’s time to bury everything before it even comes to the surface—whatever it is.
listening to seungjun repeat the word was enough for hyunjae to cringe. it’s a stupid question that came out of nowhere. hyunjae doesn’t even want to know the answer, suddenly. he wants to close his ears, but he can’t. when seungjun denies it, though, there’s an unmistakable spark that he doesn’t miss. he can finally look at seungjun again. is he relieved?
that doesn’t last for long, because immediately after, seungjun lays in the final blow—and the pain doubled, breath hitched, eyes widened. there’s a strong throbbing in his chest, growing louder and louder, harder and harder. it takes a while for hyunjae to notice that he hasn’t said anything in response, simply standing there with his lips parted.
“oh, is that so.” this time, he has to put in effort into making his voice sound levelled. he pulls it off, to his own surprise. he gives seungjun a smile, or at least tries to. “glad to hear. i’m happy for you.” it feels like he’s just saying empty words, without meaning them. he’s supposed to be genuinely happy for his friend, so why isn’t he? why does it hurt?
he blinks, as if things are starting to click. fuck. of course.
he doesn’t wait for seungjun to explain any further. hyunjae doesn’t want to hear it, he can’t bring himself to. “i... wow, do you feel a little parched?” he says out of nowhere, completely irrelevant to the topic at hand. “i, suddenly, really need a drink.” he’s taking a few steps backwards. seungjun’s presence is making his chest feel heavier as opposed to the usual lightness.
he was right. seungjun can’t know.