━ ⟢ inception

ahn hyunjae. junior. dance.

[sgnhyunjae]

hello... just wanted to say goodbye to the dash! thank you all so much for plotting with me, i’ve met and gotten close to a few people from this directory which means i can’t just leave without saying a proper goodbye (albeit it is a little late). i’m super happy to be a part of the family these past few months, like i said i met people i love talking to ooc and it was fun seeing my muses interact with all yours! special thanks to the admins for all the hard work they’ve put into the directory. i’d love to get to know the rest of you still, so with that being said if ever you want to reach out to me, my twitter is @wowyoungie, feel free to follow. don’t be afraid to hit me up if ever you feel like it!

take care everyone! maybe we’ll meet again elsewhere ♡

[sgnhyunjae]

sgnsubin​:

     he nods, and he’s not sure why phantom reacts the way that she does around strangers or whatever but he thinks it’s probably because they have unfamiliar scents, or faces. he’s not exactly a cat expert, but he’s been pretty good with doing his research on her. especially since he wants—and hopes—to be able to keep and care for her for the long term, if not forever. 

     hopefully forever.

     the pinch to his cheek is not surprising nor unexpected with the words that precede it but it only makes him puff his cheeks out slightly more since hyunjae is absolutely correct in his assumption that subin hears those words a lot. perhaps his penchant for being a hyung collector is coming to fruition and it’s telling him that he should probably find more friends that are around his age. or something like that. either way, he should’ve really expected everything that had just happened in the last few moments, honestly.

     “yeah, that’s the right one,” subin claims happily, and he had originally bought them to try to bribe her to let him pet her, before she ended up coming home with him. and he had tried a handful of other dried snacks, but she always preferred these chicken ones. so he just guessed they were her favourite. he grins at the onslaught of questions from the older student, waiting for hyunjae to get them all of out his system before answering. 

     “you should hold out your hand, palm up, with the treat in it when she wakes up and she’ll slowly approach you!” he explains, grinning. “i’ve tried it with three different people and it’s worked twice. so you being the lucky third is very likely.”

he doesn’t usually act like this, desperate and completely vulnerable to teasing if subin were to try it out. subin seems used to people coming over and playing with his cat though, so maybe hyunjae is just overthinking this entire interaction and this is normal, nothing to be flustered about. he's not used to being so openly excited about something as trivial as meeting a cat, or anything that isn't dancing, really.

exceptions can be made, especially when it's in the form of phantom. the moment he spots the little creature he had heard so much about from the younger, there's a trace of nervousness in his approach. it's not that he's afraid phantom will scratch him or anything, but he has heard about how cats have another sense, that they can sense the good from the bad. and what if hyunjae was one of the bad, that he's too prickly even for a cat, that phantom decides he isn't worth it despite the snack he had bought.

again, he's overthinking. this should be easy, subin had even told him exactly what to do. there's a guideline, all hyunjae needs to do is follow. he heaves a sigh.

"very likely but still not a guarantee, huh." typical of him to find a loophole in subin's reassurance. despite that, he follows along, crouching down next to phantom who seems to be stirring from her sleep, even though hyunjae walked over with quiet steps. once phantom opened her eyes, he grabs a handful of the snacks and holds his hand out, palm up as subin had instructed.

under phantom's gaze, he feels like he's being judged. so, he turns his head slightly, facing subin once again. "am i doing this right?" he almost whispers.

[sgnhyunjae]

find you

sgnseungjun​:

    seungjun hesitates, eyes scanning over hyunjae’s face behind the mask. it’s harder to gauge the other’s expression with the mask in his way, but one thing is for certain — seungjun doesn’t think that hyunjae is pleased. there’s something stiff and cold about the way the other is holding himself, and seungjun feels oddly discomfited by it.

    he feels this urge to assuage the other’s obvious upset, even if he has no idea why hyunjae is upset. he doesn’t even know why he’s feeling the intense urge to somehow explain himself. his business with ahri is precisely that — their business, and hyunjae is just a friend. what difference should it make to the other?

    still, he finds his lips parting, for what he isn’t really sure, but the words are bubbling up. they stop abruptly when he hears hyunjae’s reply, flat and emotionless, level, and his chest clenches momentarily. this isn’t the hyunjae he’s used to and seungjun finds himself floundering about how exactly to deal with it. he’s thrown off, feeling like he’s in water that he’d thought was shallow but turned out to be so much deeper than it really was. and this strange, because he’s never felt that way about hyunjae.

     ”thank you…?” he says uncertainly in response to the other’s false words of congratulations, and he wants to explain for some reason, feels the urge to sort out what’s clearly a misunderstanding, but before he can even say another word, hyunjae is babbling about being parched, and then — before seungjun can even say anything, hyunjae is gone. pushed through the crowd to vanish from his site, and seungjun is left there, discomfort at the interaction surging through him. he feels so strangely off-kilter, and he supposes it’s because an interaction with hyunjae has never ended quite like this. 

     there isn’t anything he can do now, he thinks to himself in resignation. he’ll have to see if he can find hyunjae later on during the ball, to try and figure out why the other had been acting so off. 

i should have known.

the signs were right there before him—all the things he’d do for seungjun that he wouldn’t do for anyone else, the way he’d allow the younger to lean into him when he’d usually pull away within a second, the way his chest would turn warm whenever seungjun flashes him with a dimpled smile. it was so obvious, it shouldn’t take a genius to figure all this out.

but what good does knowing do? he put a label to what he’s feeling—jealousy, stemming from the fact that he held feelings for seungjun, feelings he shouldn’t be having for his friend. it’s going to bring him more trouble than it’s worth, and worst of all, it’ll be a burden upon seungjun’s shoulders. that is, if seungjun knew about it. so hyunjae will do everything within his power to make sure that seungjun doesn’t, not when seungjun had the perfect life ahead of him.

the glimpse of what seungjun’s perfect life would be like appears in his mind, and hyunjae orders another drink to drown it out. he’s not sure how long he has been by the bar, having ordered a few rounds already. he already feels lightheaded, in an attempt to get rid of the heavy feeling that’s settling on his chest. he doesn’t try to entertain anyone else, not that many people approached him anyway. he’d get curious glances, most likely because a ball such as this one isn’t the place to get wasted. hyunjae has no intention of getting that drunk, but he does want to stop thinking.

hyunjae isn’t a stranger to burying his own emotions, locking them deep in his heart so as to mask the pain. he can do so with his affections for seungjun as well—it’s for their own good.  a part of him wishes that seungjun would come for him, try to find him despite having ran away. another part wants seungjun to stay away, keep a distance until he can destroy his feelings for good.

i wish i never knew.

[sgnhyunjae]

can you see my heart?

sgnseungjun​:

    he reaches out for the other’s hand without hesitation, squeezing the older’s hand. seungjun is a very tactile person and often uses this as a method to help others feel better, not really knowing how else to help at times. he hopes that he’ll be able to communicate how sincere he is and how much he means what he’d said.

    “that’s okay,” he says warmly in response to hyunjae’s honest answer, squeezing the other’s hand again before he lets go. “i think i’d be really scared of you if you could bench press me, you know. that’d be so scary, hyung.” he smiles at the other brightly, hoping to cheer the other up as it seems like hyunjae is in a strange mood. perhaps that’s why the other had called him here.

    when hyunjae gets to his feet, seungjun straightens up, reaching for his backpack again and scrambling to his feet. “she’s a cute ghost,” he agrees. hyunjae offers his hand, and seungjun takes hold of it without even thinking, his backpack slung over his shoulder. at the question of what he wants to eat, he tilts his head to the side, clearly thinking, before he proclaims, “i want chicken! is that okay with you, hyung?” if not, seungjun can always pick something else — but chicken sounds really good at that moment.

he’s taken aback when seungjun takes hyunjae’s hand into his own, but it’s a warmth that he welcomes all the same. he doesn’t grow up being showered in physical affection, he doesn’t try to seek it out nor does he allow it towards himself most of the time. it’s unusual, he’s clueless on how to receive them or even react properly. when it’s seungjun though, it feels natural to squeeze the younger’s hand back with a small smile before seungjun let go.

“i doubt that’ll happen in the near future, so you don’t have to be afraid.” besides, isn’t seungjun the one who’d be more capable of—he tries not to think about it now, it feels like a thought that he doesn’t dare venture towards. there’s an image about the younger that he feels may be ruined if he continues he thought, he feels.

when seungjun takes his hand easily, he blinks—he isn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t that. “it’s okay, i haven’t had chicken in a long while.” he holds onto seungjun’s hand as he guides the other out of the room and into the hallway. “should we head off to the food court?”

[sgnhyunjae]

˚∘ ✧ brave faces —

sgnseungjun​:

    he huffs softly to himself, shaking his head in playful disbelief at the other. “i can’t believe you’re like this,” he mumbles in clear resignation as he sighs, too comfortable to actually make any protests, shiber soft against him, warmth radiating from where he’s cuddled up against hyunjae. there’s something so comforting to seungjun about cuddles, how the warmth of somebody else chases away the cold and reassures him that he’s not alone. 

     “maybe i should,” he muses and it doesn’t matter to him that he practically has an army of plushies. they’re his weakness and he loves having them surrounding him, like the knights of his court from stories long ago. they protect him from the bad dreams, he might joke, only half serious. “ooh, i want one of those bean bags… i think they have totoro beanbags… i could sit on him, then,” he giggles as the movie winds to a close, and he absolutely feels so much more relaxed — a combination of the movie and the comfort of cuddling, especially with hyunjae. 

     “okay, okay,” he says and he sits up slowly, stretching lazily, a soft yawn escaping his lips involuntarily. he usually wears an actual pajama set to bed, especially silk ones, as they’re soft and regulate his temperature well, keeping him warm, but he suspects that hyunjae might not like that as much. “what do you usually wear to sleep, hyung? i don’t think we wear the same things,” he laughs as he stands from the couch to beckon the other towards his room and his closet. 

“oh, please. you know i’m right.” it’s peculiar how easily he can laugh when he’s around seungjun, finding himself doing so more than once whenever he’s within the younger’s presence. “you want to sit on the totoros? is that what you do when you find something cute? i won’t lie, that’s a little concerning.” hyunjae teases once more, just as the movie reaches its end. he takes out his phone to tell his roommate that he won’t be coming home tonight, then locks it back.

there’s a little disappointment when seungjun pulls away from him and sits back up, but he brushes it off quickly. “probably not,” he states as he also stands and follows seungjun into his room. “i do have pajamas with short sleeves, but when i’ve ran out i usually just wear a tank top and short pants.” whenever it gets too hot, hyunjae would keep waking up, tossing and turning. he can use blankets though, only if the room temperature isn’t the least bit warm.

“by the way, should i crash your couch?” he asks. he doesn’t mind the floor all that much either, it wouldn’t be the first time. “or should i be the koala this time around and protect you from any danger?” he jokes—or at least he believes he is, only to find that he’s only half joking.

[sgnhyunjae]

sgntaeho​:

it doesn’t take a genius to realize that the other boy is keeping him at bay, both figuratively and literally; and that’s perfectly fine. taeho gets it. nobody wants to be seen at their lowest, and very few people want to be the subject of others’ pity either. were it him in hyunjae’s position, he’s sure he would’ve done the same. so after helping hyunjae up and passing along the water bottle, taeho steps a pace away, staring off into the distance and heaving a silent sigh. “don’t worry, i’m not jumping in joy at the prospect of sticking around either,” he replies, as if the sarcastic twinge is supposed to be of some comfort. in his own strange way, it really is. “just making sure you won’t fall dead the moment after i leave.”

fortunately, it seems as though his company here has regained some spunk and conscience - at least enough of it to fire back in rebuttal at his pointed speculations. seems like the boy has some fire in him, which is wholly a good sign from taeho’s perspective. “ha– ” he lets a scoff slip out from his lips. “a lot of people actually,” he answers hyunjae’s question as if it’s a simple matter of fact. “with drugs and alcohol, at least people will generally recognize that their habits are destructive. with overworking themselves, they don’t.” he swivels on his feet to face hyunjae again, shooting him a telling look. “apparently not even when they blow their own fuse out.” 

he glances away again, sparing hyunjae of any further scrutiny in the moment. he personally hates it when people try to lecture him, so he won’t prescribe the same torment to others. “so how about it? you think you can stand now?” he asks before leaning over to pick up his bag from the ground again. strangely enough, he finds himself thinking (worrying?) about this near-stranger more than he should be. maybe it’s the way hyunjae so adamantly defends the reason for his sheer exhaustion, or how he tries to brush it off with such ease. “and where are you headed? hopefully it’s straight to bed.”

the first thing he does when he feels he can move a limb somewhat is check his phone. it’s pretty late—he wonders whether his roommate is snoozing already at this point or if he’s waiting, then again hyunjae had made it a persistent habit to run during odd hours of the night. his mind lingers on the water dispenser, whether his roommate would have filled it up before going to bed. although he isn’t fully certain he’d be able to handle walking all the way back, should he make a beeline for the convenience store then? get water there? hyunjae continues to run through what he needs to do without his new acquaintance’s help.

his thoughts drift away when he hears taeho’s argument, immediately looking back up at the other, maybe a little too fast because a sharp pain goes through his head for a second. he winces, but once he regains his composure, he’s quick to speak up. “stop preaching to the unconvertible. your points seem rather biased, by the way.” his tone isn’t as sharp as it can be, probably due to how exhausted he’s feeling. “i don’t think you’ve done any proper research about the topic anyways, have you?” he doesn’t try to hide his annoyance.

as much as he wants to prove his own words, he doesn’t have the energy to do so. holding onto the bench, he slowly pushes himself to stand up—his head is spinning a little, but he is able to stand. walking? he can’t tell yet. “would you look at that, i can stand.” it was done with difficulty, but that isn’t important. “thirsty. might go to the convenience store.” hyunjae doesn’t feel the need to lie to this stranger, even though the other might just stop him on his tracks and drag him back to his dorm. “i can go on my own,” he doesn’t forget to add.

[sgnhyunjae]

aurora

sgnjiyul​:

( ... )

he closes his hand over the abandoned glass of whatever hyunjae had ordered, sliding it closer to himself and pushing the new glass of something clear and fizzy—probably soda—to hyunjae. 

“you don’t look like you’re having too great a time,” jiyul murmurs, the tiniest, almost apologetic smile on his lips. 

he had known ahead of time that the masquerade would be more trouble than it was worth it. hyunjae hadn’t planned on staying for too long, intending on just showing his face as a treasurer to one of the social clubs, meeting a few people and then bailing immediately. and yet, he finds himself by the bar, a pathetic and miserable mess.

knowing the current predicament he’s in right now, he shouldn’t have come. the excitement that came from possibly winning his bet against seungjun had long since disappeared. originally, he wanted to come to win. he already knew what he wanted from seungjun if he had won—wanted to invite the younger to his dance competition, maybe ask for a cheer or two.

and now, he can’t look at seungjun without feeling his heart splitting in half.

that isn’t an excuse to snap at seungjun, though. he knows that, but he isn’t in control of himself. he lashed out, the frustration of finally realising why seeing seungjun with someone else hurt him so badly taking form in the worst way possible. he has plans to deliver a much better apology, complete with some of seungjun’s favourite snacks—but that’s for tomorrow. right now, he wants to drown out his stupid misery.

he almost doesn’t notice jiyul settling by his side until the older speaks up. hyunjae lets out a grumble, turning his head towards his friend but not quite looking at the other. “not enough, clearly.”

there’s no question when jiyul slides a filled glass over to him. he just takes it, the switch in tastes barely registers in his mind, and he decides to ignore it. “is it that obvious?” he asks, tone sharp—god, jiyul doesn’t deserve this either. he lets out a sigh, knuckles against his cheek. “i’m surprised you’re still here actually,” he says, voice softer albeit a little slurred if you squint.

“i shouldn’t have come,” he mumbles. “i messed up big time.”

[sgnhyunjae]

find you

sgnseungjun​:

    his smile is bright, warm and genuine initially. it falters when he notices that hyunjae’s smile is barely there, not reaching his eyes, and he hesitates. then hyunjae REPLIES, and seungjun is thrown off. this isn’t what he’s used to at all. hyunjae’s tone is flat, without any of the emotion he’s used to hearing from the older, and his smile falters and falls.

    “i—“ he starts, but he finds that he has nothing to say to the other in reply, more confused than anything else, about the other’s behaviour. hyunjae’s next words are even more confusing and he takes a half step back, his eyes widening slightly behind his mask.

    “my girlfriend?” he asks, sounding rather puzzled and he’s not sure whether he’s more baffled by the fact that hyunjae thinks ahri is his girlfriend, or by the fact that the older male sounds upset. “do you mean ahri nuna??”

     without even waiting for the other to confirm, he shakes his head. “nuna isn’t my girlfriend,” he says and there’s no hesitance in that statement, but he follows it up almost immediately with, “she’s my fiancée, actually. kind of… it’s kind of complicated.” 

it’s apparent that seungjun had noticed he was acting out of character, or at the very least, unlike himself whenever he’s with the younger. hyunjae can’t even provide an explanation as to why, yet he knows that whatever it is, he can’t tell seungjun about it. a part of himself is telling him that it’s time to bury everything before it even comes to the surface—whatever it is.

listening to seungjun repeat the word was enough for hyunjae to cringe. it’s a stupid question that came out of nowhere. hyunjae doesn’t even want to know the answer, suddenly. he wants to close his ears, but he can’t. when seungjun denies it, though, there’s an unmistakable spark that he doesn’t miss. he can finally look at seungjun again. is he relieved?

that doesn’t last for long, because immediately after, seungjun lays in the final blow—and the pain doubled, breath hitched, eyes widened. there’s a strong throbbing in his chest, growing louder and louder, harder and harder. it takes a while for hyunjae to notice that he hasn’t said anything in response, simply standing there with his lips parted.

“oh, is that so.” this time, he has to put in effort into making his voice sound levelled. he pulls it off, to his own surprise. he gives seungjun a smile, or at least tries to. “glad to hear. i’m happy for you.” it feels like he’s just saying empty words, without meaning them. he’s supposed to be genuinely happy for his friend, so why isn’t he? why does it hurt?

he blinks, as if things are starting to click. fuck. of course.

he doesn’t wait for seungjun to explain any further. hyunjae doesn’t want to hear it, he can’t bring himself to. “i... wow, do you feel a little parched?” he says out of nowhere, completely irrelevant to the topic at hand. “i, suddenly, really need a drink.” he’s taking a few steps backwards. seungjun’s presence is making his chest feel heavier as opposed to the usual lightness.

he was right. seungjun can’t know.

[sgnhyunjae]

can you see my heart?

sgnseungjun​:

     he tilts his head slightly as the other’s phone goes off, and hyunjae’s mood seems to drop at the notification. instead, he chooses to focus on what the other is saying. “what do you mean, better than letting me see?” he asks with a small frown, and he scoots closer. somehow, he senses that it’s not about the little joke hyunjae had tried to make. it feels more negative than that, and he reaches out to touch hyunjae’s shoulder. 

     “you know that there’s nothing wrong with the way you look, right, hyung? you look good.” he tells the other with a serious look in his eyes, a tiny little frown on his face. his expression softens slightly. “are you going to bench press me with all your muscles?” he jokes in reply. 

     he shrugs slightly at the other’s apology. “phantom is a menace. i see why subinnie named her phantom. sometimes she appears like a ghost,” he laughs and he stretches out lazily, using his backpack as support, his attire too nice to really be rolling around on a dance practice floor in. “let’s go eat dinner, then — i had a late lunch, so i hadn’t eaten yet either. i was just drinking hot chocolate…” he grins sheepishly at that, no shame in the fact that he was absolutely drinking hot chocolate at the cafe instead of something more adult. 

hyunjae doesn’t elaborate further, even with seungjun’s inquiry. he doesn’t want to shove his issues onto the younger, would much prefer to say he doesn’t have any. and yet, it’s hard for him to lie to seungjun. so, he stays quiet instead, doesn’t try to explain himself further, knowing he’d only be exposing himself to the other. not saying anything at all won’t help ease seungjun’s worries, but it’s the best he could do.

still, a smile does make its way onto hyunjae’s face when seungjun looks at him with sincerity like that. it makes him feel a little better, helps him push the thoughts to the back of his mind for the moment. “unfortunately, i’m not at that stage yet.” he answers to seungjun’s joke with honesty, to make up for the fact that he isn’t responding to the other question.

“i guess she’s the cute type of ghost, then?” finally, he does bring himself to stand up, picking his things off of the floor and shoving them to his bag before slinging it over his back. lastly, he holds his hand out for seungjun to take. “sounds good. do you have anything in mind?” he’s happy to be spending time with seungjun—maybe a little happier than he should be. “should i let you pick for making you come all the way here?”

[sgnhyunjae]

sgnhna​:

NOT SHY, NOT ME

starter / @sgnhyunjae

hana is the human embodiment of shyness. the flush cheeks, avoidance of eyes, soft-spoken words, hiding behind hair, and the classic nail-picking when anxious. she’s easily walked over due to natural timidness and not being able to speak up for herself. so how many friends are actually her friends? she doesn’t know. but she can only hope there’s some good ones in the mix.

like hyunjae.

who shares the same classes as her but didn’t ironically start talking until being paired in yoga for a ‘couple’ class. a very awkward and embarrassing situation that created something beautiful. hana thought, anyway.

she stood in front of janggok dorms with her arms crossed over her chest. hyunjae somehow convinced her to leave her room with a promise of an eventful day. she hopes it consists of coffee and—well, that’s it. just coffee and they part ways. 

the cooling weather brought out the sweaters as hana wore a baggy crew neck seongnam sweater, sporting their logo, the front hem tucked into blue skinny jeans. although he suggested wearing comfy clothes, hana could hear her mother disapprove with a heavy sigh if she left the dorm in sweatpants.

it doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone, but admittedly, hyunjae doesn’t have that many friends. he never really tries to make them either, despite his mom telling him that connections are important. she’s right—she always is, let’s be real—but hyunjae believes that he can make those connections without being fake, or having to suck up to people he doesn’t particularly care for.

that’s why he always finds himself a bit stunned when he does manage to make a friend. he doesn’t offer much, never really thinks people would wanna stick around him for too long. some people surprise him though, like hana, who he encountered in yoga. the other was a respectable dancer, a dance major just like him.

and maybe they have more in common.

there’s something about the way she acts that reminds him of something. of himself. it’s why he wants to pull her out of the constraints and let loose once in a while. “sweatpants. nice.” he’s wearing his own pair, he’s also holding onto a tiny speaker. “now, you’re probably expecting coffee or something—and we can get that after—but that’s not why i’m forcing you out of your hole.”

hyunjae doesn’t elaborate. not yet. instead, he adorns a smirk. “i’ll let you pick. the park, or the quad?”

[sgnhyunjae]

˚∘ ✧ brave faces —

sgnseungjun​:

     he’s under the impression that he’d won the argument about why totoros were absolutely cuter than him, only to hear hyunjae’s calm retort and feel a pinch to his cheek, still gentle. “ah!” he cries out in surprise, turning an offended glare onto hyunjae, though it doesn’t really hold any heat. “i — but —” he protests against hyunjae’s rebuttals, his lips parting slightly as his brain tries to formulate some kind of argument. 

     nothing comes to mind, too caught off guard by the other’s quick retorts, and if seungjun is being honest, it kind of makes him happy. it feels nice, in a way, makes him feel all warm inside, to know that hyunjae obviously thinks that way because of how quick the other’s words had been. he settles for letting that warm feeling sink into him, a content little smile curling up his lips, giving into the other’s smug assertion. “but they’re so cute,” he says softly and he curls up closer to hyunjae, tucking his head against the other’s neck. “i want to hug one.” 

     he glances up at hyunjae without any real concern in his eyes over whether the other will fit his clothes. “of course you will, hyung,” he says with a laugh, “my pajamas are oversized and you’re not that different in size from me.” at least, he doesn’t think hyunjae is. he thinks they’re probably around the same size, and he might even be a tiny bit taller than the other, but he’s never really had the opportunity to compare clothing sizes with the other or anything like that. still, he’s sure his pajamas are big enough to fit hyunjae. 

his smile only grows wider when seungjun gives him a glare, he knows he won this round. hyunjae loves to claim victory whenever he could, although when it comes to seungjun, he finds himself giving in to the younger just as often. but not this time, because this is a matter he definitely won’t back down on. it may be trivial, holding no true meaning. still, he wants seungjun to know how utterly adorable he is.

once he knows he has won, he doesn’t push the subject further, saving seungjun from whatever embarrassment that comes from a friend calling him cute. “aren’t there dolls of the totoros? maybe you should get one. it’s the next best thing, since we’ll never encounter them in real life.” hyunjae summarises that he doesn’t need one, not when he has seungjun, who curls up next to him like this. he doesn’t usually care for affection, he welcomes it when it’s seungjun though.

“in that case, pick one for me,” he says. he never did pay much attention to their differences in height or built, mostly because whenever he’s around the younger, seungjun holds onto him so tightly it’s hard to observe. not that he minds, there’s no downside to that. “i’ll trust my fate with you.” he’s curious to see what seungjun will make him wear, he doesn’t think they have the same taste in fashion.

[sgnhyunjae]

sgnseungjun​:

     seungjun thinks that his face might split from how widely he’s been smiling the whole ball. it’s been more than satisfying to get to see ahri blossom under the success of her ball, and while he’d paid her all of his attention, she had still shooed him off with a fond smile and an insistence that he should go greet some of his friends. it had taken him a bit of time to locate some of them, and there’s one particular person he’s looking for. 

     they’d made a bet before the ball to see who would find the other first, and seungjun thinks that he’s actually got a better chance now that he’s sporting lighter hair. he’d toned it for the ball, so it’s more of a bright silvery shade, and he wonders if it’ll throw hyunjae off. his hair had been pretty distinctive before, he thinks, with the blond streak amidst dark hair. he hadn’t thought he’d like the light hair as much as he does, and he’s quite pleased with the result, the more he thinks about it. 

    he’d thought for certain that hyunjae would find him first, by this point, as he’d underestimated how much time he’d be likely to spend with ahri before they split up for a short period of time. it’s been longer than he’d thought, and yet his friend still hasn’t found him, and seungjun is kind of surprised. looking around quietly, he spots a familiar figure, hair longer than many of the other males there, and he makes his way towards the other, convinced that it’s hyunjae once he gets a bit closer. 

     he comes to a stop next to the other, and he says with a playful smile, eyes glittering behind his mask with laughter. “hyung, you said so confidently you were going to win, but i found you first!” he says with a bright grin. 

there’s an ache in his chest that he doesn’t understand, a flame that consumes his very senses and leaves him feeling numb. it was ignited the moment his eyes land on ahri and seungjun, refusing to die down even after he has walked a safe distance away from the two of them. it burns and burns, as if it’ll swallow hyunjae whole. the image of his two friends together doesn’t leave his mind, he can see it as clear as day even when he closes his eyes.

but why?

no matter where he runs, how hard he tries to hide, it’s only a matter of time until seungjun finds him. he knows that seungjun is determined, wouldn’t go back on a promise even if it’s a little bet. it shouldn’t surprise hyunjae when the younger appears by his side, the bright grin that he had grown to love on seungjun’s masked face. usually, it would be easy for hyunjae to return the other’s smile. this time around, his smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

“i suppose i dug my own grave, didn’t i?” his tone is flat, missing the beam that comes whenever he’s speaking with the younger. it throws him off—why was he acting like this? hyunjae can only hope seungjun doesn’t notice, but the other has always been rather perceptive.

when he meets seungjun’s eyes, the image of him and ahri flashes through his mind once more. the pain returns, a little stronger this time due to seungjun’s presence. and before he could stop himself, he blurts out, “why did you leave your girlfriend?” for some reason, the term leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. he can’t bring himself to look seungjun in the eye again.

[sgnhyunjae]

sgnwooseok​:

     he laughs, when hyunjae rambles on about the plate of food without a break, without giving him a chance to actually thank him or anything and wooseok can’t help but always feel amused around the younger. there’s just something about the other’s general demeanor that amuses him greatly but he can’t quite put his finger on it, if he’s honest. either way, he’s never going to turn down free food—even if this was from a trade rather than it actually being free. 

     he prefers it that way anyway. 

     “it does look good though,” he says after, even though hyunjae’s already finished complimenting himself and probably doesn’t need any actual input from him. it’s just nice to compliment other people, especially if it’s a sincere one. also, he’s just stating the truth anyway.  

     rolling his eyes at the accusation, wooseok feigns injury to his heart, clutching at his chest dramatically with a soft, wounded gasp. “would i, kim wooseok, poison you who’s so kindly made me a meal?” he asks, trying to sound as offended as humanly possible before he drops the act immediately. “i don’t hate you enough to waste money on poison to kill you so.” he shrugs, shaking his head and indicating the baked goods. “sadly just regular muffins. with a slight tweak~” 

     the list that he’s told afterwards makes him snort, picking up the fork that’s laid down next to the plate with a grin. “bon appetit?” he says, before twirling some pasta around the fork, waiting for hyunjae to also dig into muffin so they could both take their first bites at the same time.

as always, it comes as a surprise when someone actually agrees with him whenever he’s complimenting himself. a second passes as he stays quiet, forgetting how to say thank you yet gain. he’s always bad at saying thank you in general. “i know,” slips out instead, soft and a little bit unsure if someone were to squint. it sounds weird to his own ears, so he says a small, “thanks,” to accompany it in the end.

wooseok’s dramatic reaction draws out a snort from hyunjae as well. out of the list of people who’d willingly poison him, wooseok would be one of the last on the list—he’s also realising that the list is fairly long, but again, that’s not the point. “oh, but you do hate me?” he asks, mimicking wooseok’s earlier dramatic antics, but he drops it just as quickly. “sadly. i won’t be surprised if one day you infuse muffins with steroids with the way you’re talking.”

he does eventually pick up the muffin, inspecting it closely as if he’s actually looking for poison just to tease wooseok a little bit. “you’re really not going to tell me what’s in this, huh.” he’s actually excited to try it out, though. which is why the examination of the muffin only lasts a few seconds. “bon apetit,” he repeats, before taking a rather big bite.

it comes as no surprise when hyunjae admits, “oh, it’s good.” he doesn’t—and never has—suspected anything less from wooseok.

[sgnhyunjae]

sgnjiyul​:

the only game he’s played actively is a mobile game where you take care of stray cats. that’s literally it—and most of the cats are easy to please. there’s zero challenge aspect to the game, and it’s therapeutic at best. though he’s recently started to dabble with the harvest moon franchise, even that’s for leisure at best.

all that considered, he can already tell that mario kart might be beyond his area of expertise—especially when he’s feeling a little lost at the character selection scene alone.

“you should have called me over earlier then,” jiyul murmurs, half-paying attention to hyunjae and half-focusing on the screen. he moves his curses back and forth between waluigi and toad with much deliberation. “i was just repotting my plants all day,” he explains, belatedly. he thinks he’ll settle on waluigi out of sheer pity alone until hyunjae interjects with his own “wisdom.” “lackey-like?” jiyul repeats, frowning out of habit. “whose lackey am i? yours?” he selects toad anyway. “i just felt bad for waluigi. he doesn’t look very popular.”

maybe jiyul can relate. then again, he’s sure waluigi actually has reason to be unpopular if there’s a whole story behind all of these characters that just goes entirely over his head.

“oh.” jiyul exhales softly, shaking his head. “no, never mind. i just thought maybe—” for someone jiyul considers one of his closest friends, hyunjae certainly has a knack for keeping him on his toes. maybe it’s on purpose. maybe it’s not. jiyul probably doesn’t really mind either way. “i just thought you were hurt or something. or… um… really sad, i guess? the text sounded… ominous.” 

he’s glad hyunjae’s okay, and that’s all that matters in the end. though clarifying texts would be cool too.

“anyway, let’s do a practice game,” jiyul insists, feeling more excited—childishly—by the second at the prospect of trying the game out. it’s easier to relax around hyunjae, and easier to talk more too (which is a double-edged sword, really, because he’s not used to it). “who’s your character?” he squints at the screen. “bowser? he looks kind of like you… prickly.”

“sounds fun.” hyunjae knows nothing about gardening, that much is clear from the lack of greenery in his own dorm room. “or, boring? since you said i should have called you over earlier. i didn’t know you were free. should i just terrorise you until you hand over your entire schedule?” terrorise is a strong word, but that seems to be what most of his interactions with jiyul seem like, especially to the public eye.

it’ll take a while for hyunjae to admit to anyone, even to himself, that he truly enjoys jiyul’s company. that he treasures jiyul as a friend, even though they met under strange circumstances. it’s easy to talk to jiyul, which says a lot considering hyunjae isn’t usually one for engaging in conversation for too long. he can count the amount of friends he has with one hand, so he tries not to mess up the friendships he does have. keyword being tries. he did just invite jiyul over to game with him, so that should count for something, right? he doesn’t usually give out impromptu invites.

there’s a sly smile on his lips. “do you want to be my lackey? the entire dance team will tell you i’m awful. i’ll boss you around until there’s no tomorrow.” he raises an eyebrow. “probably because people see waluigi as the discount version of one of the more beloved characters. personally, i think he has the best moustache.”

jiyul’s answer to his question only spurs more questions. “sad? i sound sad?” that’s not good, the last thing he wants is for others to think he’s capable of being in such a weakened state—he decides to stop thinking about it. this isn’t the time or place for that. “i wouldn’t text you when i’m sad,” he says instead, and he’s not sure that’s something he should have said after all.

hyunjae almost immediately lets that slip past his mind when jiyul says the word. “you did not just call me that.” they proceed onto the start of the game, the familiar start of the track coming into view. “i’m going to make you eat dust just for that.”

[sgnhyunjae]

˚∘ ✧ brave faces —

sgnseungjun​:

     “yeah, i want to hug them,” he agrees without looking away from the tv screen, his expression more relaxed now. his cheek is squished slightly against hyunjae’s shoulder, soft, and his arms around shiber have loosened, the plush now resting in his lap instead of being clutched against his chest for dear life. 

     when hyunjae makes his comment, seungjun almost doesn’t process it, listening to the movie, and he mumbles, “huh?” before he glances up at hyunjae questioningly. it takes him a moment to process it before he laughs, “me? cuter than the totoros? no way!” he finds the thought way too amusing, and he uses his left hand to gesture. 

     “they’re big and fluffy and squishy, and they make funny noises… they’re always so helpful! they’re like huge…” he squints a little bit. “i’m not really sure what they’re meant to be, but they’re definitely cuter,” he says insistently to hyunjae, pouting a bit, his eyes flickering back to the screen once he’s done his rant on why totoros are cuter than him. 

     “anyways, hyung… um,” he starts, blinking at the screen and then flicking his eyes back up to hyunjae. “do you want to sleep over tonight?” it might help, he thinks, to have a friend, though he’s trying his best not to think of the scary movie. “i can lend you pajamas as usual!”

seungjun isn’t helping him make his case at all, he thinks, because the more seungjun is rambling like this the cuter hyunjae finds him. so, he doesn’t say anything until the younger finishes, a dazed smile on his face, eyes on nothing else but the younger. if he were to listen to seungjun talk all day, he’d be more than content.

most of all, it seems seungjun is back to his usual self. the remnants of the horror movie they watched might still creep at the back of his mind, but at least seungjun isn’t scared beyond words as he had been earlier. hyunjae would like to think that his presence helped, even if just a little bit, but it feels like wishful thinking only.

“well, you’re fluffy, and you’re rather squishy.” he makes a point to pinch seungjun’s cheek as he says that, albeit not too hard. “you’ve helped me out before, so i’d say you’re helpful too. anything else? or are you going to keep arguing with me knowing you’d lose?”

he’s surprised at the invite. he doesn’t take longer than a second to say, “of course. but are you sure your pajamas are going to fit me?” he teases. he could try and get his clothes, maybe ask bin to meet him halfway with them. he doesn’t want to leave seungjun alone though.

[sgnhyunjae]

find you

surrounded by ornaments, beautiful adornments that seem to come straight out of the sky, a grand illusion wherever you walked, it’d be easy for anyone to lose themselves to the atmosphere of the event—to dance with strangers, to mingle with the masked crowd that keeps growing. but not hyunjae, he came here with a clear purpose. among the herd of elegant suits, bewitching gowns and glamorous masks, his eyes search for bright blond hair and a dimpled smile. even if the latter is wholly covered, he’ll know it when he sees it.

no matter where, no matter when, i’ll find you.

it’s a silly little bet, seeing who can find the other first, but it gave hyunjae something to prove. even if somehow, some way, his eyesight fails him one day—like a miracle, he’ll gravitate towards ( @sgnseungjun ). and it doesn’t take very long, the sweet crinkle of the younger’s familiar laugh reaches his ears soon enough. a melody to his ears that he instantly recognises, driving his feet to move towards the source. but, he stops.

and it wasn’t because he was wrong.

the couple before him shined brighter than any of the decorations on the wall, fitted together perfectly, as if they were meant to be. for a moment, hyunjae felt blinded. by what, he doesn’t know, but he turns his head all the same. he can’t bring himself to intercept—he doesn’t belong there, he’s not fitted to be by seungjun’s side. suddenly, he can’t approach the other, it feels wrong. seungjun glimmers like a star, and hyunjae? he’s the darkness whose very existence threatens to devour anything that twinkles. seungjun is meant to shine like this, next to someone who glows just the same.

so, hyunjae remains rooted where he stood, lets the other guests crowd around him, shielding seungjun from his view.

i found you—but was i meant to?

[sgnhyunjae]

sgnchan​:

it takes a moment and chan worries that hyunjae is going to continue to argue with him about this idea ( because he doesn’t actually know this kid so there is no telling what he might do ) but thankfully the other finally agrees. and if chan holds his breath when the other is checking the tag? well, he tries to be stuble about the breath of relief he lets out once the other male confirms that there is a name and number on the tag on the puppy. 

not that chan was going to admit to that.little fact. 

he didn’t really want to give hyunjae any more ammo to use against him as the younger has already seen him make one kind of rash and wild decision. again, he will not admit that sprinting away with the puppy was a bad idea! there’s no reason to admit anything like that! it’s done!

he can’t take it back and now all they can do is return the puppy to the right people. though a small part of chan had hoped there had been no name tag because then he could have just adopted the dog himself…. he knows that’s not how it works but a guy can dream. 

there’s a startled noise leaving his lips when the phone is suddenly pressed against his ear. he had not been paying attention to what hyunjae was doing and now suddenly he’s hearing rining in his ear. the older making a  face – nose scrunching – but he does as told. “ah–hello, is this insert name here? i.. yes, i am calling because we have your dog.” 

“haa?? ah sorry sorry– ummm….. no i was…. walking… and found him… haha, never saw anyone running across campus when a dog haha…” he carefully avoided looking at hyunjae as he says this obvious lie. “yes, we can meet in the main building? yes, okay!” 

he doesn’t know what chan is playing at. it’s funny how hyunjae got himself into this predicament because he decided to make a bet with a stranger. he doesn’t know much about the man aside from his name, and he’s bound to forget about it soon, and that he’s seen him around before. the taekwondo captain? he thinks that’s right.

besides, this event cemented chan as dognapper in hyunjae’s mind. there’s really no going back from there. even if they return the dog now, he’ll still remember chan’s dognapping tendencies in the back of his mind. things will never be the same again.

it’s amusing to see chan stumbling over his words, blatantly lying even, so much so that the older is avoiding his eyes. but the phone call doesn’t last very long, and soon enough it ended. “so, since you’re a dognapper, i think you’re going to lose the bet anyway,” hyunjae concludes.

“also... you’re such a liar. you found him? really?” he takes his phone back from chan’s ear, shoving it back into his pocket. “anyway, main building, right? do you think we’re both wrong and it’s neither of the two people that we saw earlier?” if that were the case, did hyunjae run all the way here for nothing?

he gives the puppy a side glance. maybe not, who knows what chan would do if hyunjae didn’t run after him.