If I Could do it all over again

Advice and stories from desi weddings

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Nishita and Jay, May 2013 She's Jain Gujarati; He's Hindu Gujarati Ceremony and Reception: Pacific Palms Resort, City of Industry, CA

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Nishita and Jay, May 2013

How did you decide on Pacific Palms for your wedding and reception?

I wanted something with an open feel and a view. Their upstairs ballroom has floor-to-ceiling windows with views. I liked that better than a room sealed by four walls - beautiful rooms - but I wanted something more open.

 Also, the layout and location of the resort were things I liked too. It's pretty secluded which gives it a unique feel and when you're driving there at night and you see those lights, as you approach, it's pretty magical.

 What was your experience in working with their staff?

They were great from the moment we first contacted them to our wedding day. Their staff is very knowledgeable about South Asian weddings. We did have a few snafus. They forgot to book my suite the night before the wedding. I had to book it on my card and they reimbursed me later. There were a couple other minor things too but overall it was a really good experience.

 What was the hardest part of planning your wedding?

Who to invite and doing the reception table arrangements.

 What was your favorite part of your wedding?

The tastings! The food was good and it felt like we were reaching the light at the end of the wedding planning tunnel!

 What advice would you give to couples that are planning their wedding? 

1. Working with vendors (decorator, coordinator) that are familiar with your venue made a difference.  

 2. Don't starve yourself on the day of your wedding. You don't want to be starving/feeling sick/unhappy during your wedding. Even if you're worried about bloating, eat something light, but eat something!

 3. Exchange notes with your fiancé before the ceremony, on your wedding day. Just to have a nice pre-wedding moment.

 4. Put yourselves in your parents'/elders shoes. As 1st generation South Asians, sometimes we forget how different our weddings are compared to the time when our parents got married. They have social and financial obligations. My advice is to keep that and that the wedding is for our parents/elders in mind  too. Witnessing their joy and happiness on seeing you married is priceless.

 5.  If you don't have time, don't want to, or aren't the planner type - get a coordinator. 

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Shailee and Simran, March 2013 She's Hindu Gujarati; He's Sikh Punjabi Ceremony: Buena Park Gurdwara Reception: Sheraton Cerritos

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Shailee and Simran, March 2013

What advice would you give to couples that are planning their wedding?

My advice is to relax and have fun. There willalways be different opinions so just know what you want and pick and chooseyour battles. Otherwise, at the end of the day if you're married to the personyou love, nothing else will seem that important in comparison.

You’re Gujarati andyour husband’s family is Punjabi. What was the education process regarding yourrespective traditions?

I married into a Sikh family. We were very lucky, as our parents were really relaxed about the whole weekend and just wanted us to be happy and have a great time, so talking through our respective traditions was really simple. That was so helpful in making the whole process go smoothly.

 You had your sangeet, ceremony, and reception in different locations, how easy was that logistically?

We did the mehndi/sangeet at my parent’s house, the ceremony at the Buena Park Gurdwara and the reception at the Sheraton Cerritos. It was easy for us and our guests to transition from the Buena Park Gurdwara to the Sheraton Cerritos for the reception. It helped that the venues were near each other and most of our guests were from Southern California so everyone had cars; so it was seamless for them too.

 What touches did you add to personalize your wedding?

My husband is an avid photographer so we designed our escort cards as little cameras. It took a fair bit of time to create them but it was worth it!

 At first we were going to go with a traditional cake but while we were doing tastings we talked about how much we love donuts. So at our reception, we had a donut stand, like a cupcake stand. It was really fun and yummy!