This blog displays many of my inner thoughts and/or desires. Should you choose to peruse, I take no responsibility if I scar your under 18 year old soul. Also, scanning through these posts at work might result in you becoming instantly unemployed. Translation: this is an 18+/NSFW blog. I own none of these images.Remember, it's always words that undress you.
Dom red flags: a checklist for less experienced submissives
This is written mostly for inexperienced subs who are seeking doms. I would also recomend less experienced doms read as well, I could have used a lot of this advice when I first got started. If you have a lot of S&M experience, you probably won't get much from this post. Feel free to add to it if you reblog. Full checklist under the cut.
Trust your gut - If a situation feels wrong, back out. If someone feels off, or if something isnāt adding up, don't do it. If your gut tells you to run, run. Most BDSM carries inherent risk, if you aren't 100% sure you're willing to accept that risk, don't do it.
Donāt compromise on your boundaries. Ever. - If you feel uncomfortable doing something donāt do it. If a fantasy or scene seems like too much, refuse.Ā There are plenty of doms out there, ignoring your feelings for one that makes you uncomfortable is never worth it.
Talk to others in the community - Please please please for the love of god talk to other subs. Talk to doms that arenāt interested in you. Talk with your domās other playmates. Talk with your friends who do kink. Other members of the community are an essential resource and act as a great bullshit detector if something doesn't seem right. Provide support to each other, be as open about your dynamic/potential partners as you comfortably can be. Listen to their feedback.
Sub drop/dom drop - Drops are completely normal during kink. Iāve had them, subs Iāve been with have had them, friends who participate in kink have had them. If you do kink, youāll probably have a drop at some point, and thatās okay. Your dom should be someone who can comfort you during a drop, the same way you would comfort them if they have one. Your dom should be someone who can make you feel safe during a drop. They should be someone who is willing to comfort you and be there for you while you feel those feelings.Ā
If you have questions about any of this please dm me or send me an ask.
Oh btw it's also a fucking massive red flag if your Dom doesn't respect women, trans people, and minorities in their regular day-to-day life, or if they unironically call themselves an "alpha male"
Shadow and Flame @shadowandflame - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag