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LAST UPDATED: 04.02.24.
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Harry Potter Wizarding World
― Fred Gideon Weasley Masterlist
― George Fabian Weasley Masterlist
― Cedric Diggory Masterlist
― William Arthur ‘Bill’ Weasley Masterlist
― James Fleamont Potter Masterlist
― Remus John Lupin Masterlist
― Sirius Orion Black Masterlist
― Regulus Arcturus Black Masterlist
Lockwood & Co
― Anthony Lockwood Masterlist
Marvel
― Druig Masterlist
― Matthew ‘Matt’ Michael Murdock Masterlist
Bridgerton
― coming soon!
Grishaverse
― coming soon!
Others
― coming soon!
Moodboards
♡ Staying at the Burrow over Autumn break.
♡ Being a close friend of the Weasleys and developing romantic feelings to one of them.
✿・・───・・just a really big collection of lewis fanfics i really really enjoyed and love and overall just made my heart melt :3╰(*´︶`*)╯
_ _ + some thoughts and light commentary
fandoms included: marvel (thunderbolts*), top gun, outer range, the line
[✿] fluff [✦] angst [★] smut
divider creds to @mang0smoothie and @strangergraphics !!
bob reynolds:
[✦] [✿] [★] cowboy like me by @goldenlikedayl1ght | word count: 9.4k
summary: you get a text from an old friend and think.. you could do worse than a book club.. with some benefits.
thoughts: second chance romance will be the end of me !! i just love reading about people who grow out of a relationship to find themselves to inevitably fall back into that love with a better understanding of themselves. also just despite this fic being named after one of my favourite songs of all time it'll always be called book club to me :p
[✦] [✿] catalyst by @shadowbriar | word count: N/A
summary: For once, he actually let himself grow comfortable in the gentleness of another.
thoughts: two people finding a sense of peace in a very sterile environment has my heart in a clutch !!
[✿] [★] lights, camera, action ! by @avastarred | word count: N/A | complete!series
summary: When your best friend and her fiancée move out of the home you share, you're left looking for a roommate. You find one, a sweet, down to earth guy named Bob, but what do you do when you find out what he really does for work, and he asks for your help?
thoughts: so so many thoughts that i can't articulate well enough !! this fic is that kind friends to lovers thing where the pair is constantly dancing on the line between of friendship and something more, but in a way that they're caught up and in love with each other that they don't even notice it. yk that kind of like seamless old married couple transition period !! and that's honestly the best friends to lovers execution and i eat it up each time
[✿] wrong number, right person by @brainfriedkitten | word count: 4.7k
summary: A voice message sent to the wrong person sparks an unlikely friendship between two people who have never met. Can an online friendship turn into something more?
thoughts: the premise is so very crazy 90s romcom plot to me !! i love how when fanfiction has such very captivation unrealistic plot line that hooks through these series of events
[✿] nothing matters by @em1i2a3 | word count: 12.6k
summary: In preparation for Bucky’s wedding, Bob decides to attend dance lessons so he doesn’t have to embarrass himself during the reception.
thoughts: i love me a good fun classic cheesy meet cute :3 this just made me kind of explode i spent all morning reading it like golly it's just so awww
[✦] [✿] damsel in distress by @brookghaib-blog | word count: 9.5k
summary: In which the team is eager to meet Bob's ''imaginary'' girlfriend, and the chaos just seems to pile up as the time goes by.
thoughts: we need more emotional dramatic people representaion !! also has a lot of thunderbolts*/new avenger banter and shenigans that just makes me really really happy :3
[✦] [✿] scared to take a breath by @myladybelle | word count: 11.6k
summary: ava and yelena have no choice but to call your ex-boyfriend when you refuse to leave girls’ night out without him. but in your drunken haze you forget you’re broken up, and bob was never very good at telling you no.
thoughts: this fanfic makes me feel very soft like i can't deal with yearning and wanting something you know you can't have just yet and the self restraint—golly!!
[✿] between book pages and baked pie by @gyugraphy | word count: 7k
summary: He came in on Thursdays. Always looking for new books to read. Always smiled like he didn’t quite belong anywhere. Then, you asked him to pretend to be your boyfriend for one night. And he said yes. Then you found out he’s the Sentry—and suddenly, pretending doesn’t feel so simple anymore.
thoughts: no thoughts just seething in envy and resentment that this fic isn't the life i'm living right now.
[✦] [✿] polaroid by @54nboo| word count: N/A | wip!series
𓂅 polaroid pt. 2
summary: the team asks about the polaroid in bob’s wallet, so he tells them about the girl he never even dated.
thoughts: again, i will never stop saying it. i love it when life separates people to bring them together again !! eeeeekk !! i am also patiently waiting for part three :3
bob floyd:
[✦] [✿] [★] how can you look at me and pretend by @frankels | word count: 12.3k
summary: You’ve known Bob Floyd for nearly eight years since your first days at Naval Air Station Pensacola, and your friendship has always been flawless, effortless, and completely platonic… at least on the surface. Your lives are defined by high-stakes training, neverending missions, and the camaraderie of the team. Yet beneath the banter, shared glances, and seamless coordination in the air, there’s a tension between you and Bob that no one can miss—except the two of you.
thoughts: i love unecessary mutual pining but at the same time you just kinds wanna yell at their faces that they're in love :3 u loveable stoopid freaks
[✿] loopy medication by @withahappyrefrain | word count: N/A
summary: The pain medication given to Bob after a training accident has some interesting, albeit endearing, side effects.
thoughts: drunk anesthesia fics hold us together as a society
[✿] wanna buy you a drink by @anonymooseforever007 | word count: 3.8k
summary: It's been five months since Bob's seen his wife, and aside from Natasha he had yet to mention her to his team. He calls it privacy, she jokes it's internalised possessiveness. But tonight, with Penny's help at the Hard Deck, more than one person is in for a surprise. After all, who doesn't love a good innuendo?
thoughts: bob floyd secret wife fics are kind of the bane of my existence right now
[✦] [✿] [★] speak now by @scarletmika | word count: 16.2k
summary: Bob Floyd is madly in love with you, and you're in love with him. The problem? You're getting married...and it's not to Bob.
thoughts: oooo wait these two were messyyyy so much so that you root for them all the way but love who you love guys !! just make sure they're the on you're marrying you next time :3
𓂅 [✿] knight in shining glasses by @/scarletmika | word count: 11k
summary: All you wanted to do was enjoy your first night in San Diego at the bar recommended to you by your father, but a hot-shot new to the Top Gun program was intent on bringing you home with him, or at least couldn't take a hint. Lucky for you, there's a knight in shining glasses ready to save you.
thoughts: N/A (haven't read this one in a bit but all i know is loved it !! :p)
[✿] winner takes it all by @totallynotashieldagent | word count: N/A
summary: Reader is at the base to write an article, everyone's betting if Bob would get a kiss. The squad doesn't know they're already married.
thoughts: if it isn't the bob floyd fic that ignited my adoration for this fictional man bob secret wife fics took over me for a while because of this !!
[✦] [✿] [★] roostering it by @ghostgirlwrites | word count: N/A | complete!series
summary: After years of friendship, reader finally decides it’s now or never to confess her feelings to Bob—only to have him appear at the Hard Deck, hand-in-hand with someone else.
thoughts: i read the whole thing before going to sleep last night and it WRECKED ME only to build me together again ofc :3 but still. it captured the pain of wanting something that's so unreachable that it feels more farther the closer the you get to it, if that makes sense. i know this feeling too well especially this year... so erm—sooo safe to say falling for you bestfriend is truly not for the week.
Rhett Abott:
[✦] [✿] [★] dog days by @lewmagoo | word count: N/A
summary: "i tried so hard to quit you, like i promised my momma i would"
thoughts: i saw a fan made music video awhile ago of taylor swift's 'but daddy i love him' and that sparked a need within me of a rhett fanfic with a similar plot sooo imagine my excitement when i found this on the hashtag :3
[✿] [★] shoulda knocked by @verricherri | word count: N/A
summary: N/A
thoughts: absolutely hilarious !! and i learned a lesson to keep doors locked because if this ever happened to me i would be swallowed by the earth i think :p
𓂅 [✿] [✦] right here by @/verricherri | word count: N/A
summary: N/A
thoughts: waittt i reread this just a couple days ago (i find myself reading this every now and then) and this is just kind of wrecks me in such a beautiful way i think. for my own sake i'm not gonna trauma dump on fic rec rant but, this fanfic just reminds to be patient that there will be someone who's gonna be willing to be there for me through all of life's turbulances someday
𓂅 verricherri's masterlist by @/verricherri | i binged the entirety of the lewis fics i gotta reccoment all of em' :3
[✦] [✿] [★] that's my kind of night by @lewsangs | word count: 28k
summary: parent trap AU
thoughts: one of my most favourite ever niches that i've stumbled upon are parent trap aus sooo imagine my excitement finding this :3
[✿] ruin the friendship by @illiterateaffairs | word count: 7.3k
summary: inspired by ruin the friendship by taylor swift. you and rhett have been best friends since you were pre-teens neither of you realize how many times the others wanted more - until you take it.
thoughts: this is all i need ever in life i love this song so much
[✿] commission by @pileofboneswrites | word count: 3.4k
𓂅 commission pt. 2 | word count 8.1k
summary: you're the weird tillerson girl, your brother's joke that you make billy look normal by comparison, but you don't really care. you enjoy life off the ranch, living in town and contributing to the community. your art studio is your sanctuary, and the day that rhett abbott walks in asking to commission a painting for his parents anniversary, your world flips upside down.
thoughts: this was so so GOOD !!! someone find me a man who'd fix things for me :( i love their dynamic and kinda impatiently waiting for pt.3 :p
[✦] [✿] [★] no angels by @/em1i2a3 | word count: 18k
summary: You and Rhett have been friends for almost your entire lives and you’ve had a crush on him ever since you could remember. You’ve never made a move out of respect for the friendship, but when Maria–an old crush of Rhett’s–comes back into town, you can’t help but get a little jealous of how much he swoons for her.
thoughts: this is the first rhett fic i read and i think i remember distinctly squealing when i read the summary and erm... at some points while reading it because of how angsty and unrequited it got (art imitates life guys) and i just love a really really well done friends to lovers story that has excrutiating mutual pining !! alsooo i really love how it portrays the years worth of envy and bitterness. like i think i could go on and on about this fic i just love it so so much
Todd Stevens:
[✿] midnight on campus by @enderdaggers | word count: 7.2k | wip!series
summary: ghostface!au It's your junior year of college and you don't even mind that it's somewhere new. Fresh start. Far from every bad decision that ruined you before. You can really decide what kind of person you want to be for once, even if it means involving yourself with the annoying, frustratingly attractive president of the Kappu Nu Alpha fraternity, Todd Stevens.
thoughts: i don't usually read a lot of ghostface aus but i really enjoyed this one !!
[✿] paper cuts by @mustaaarrd | word count: 8k
summary: it starts with a jammed printer and a boy who doesn’t know how to fix it. todd stevens is loud where you’re quiet, charming where you’re cautious, and for some reason, he keeps showing up — in the library, in lecture, beside you when you least expect it. what begins as study sessions turns into something softer. hours spent joking, sharing snacks, talking about nothing and everything. it’s easy to ignore what’s happening until a rumor spreads, and the line between friendship and something more starts to blur.
thoughts: i dunno if this is odd in anyway but i love love loveee this !!! it reminds me so much of old marauders era fics i read HIHI but like it's one of those really sweet study buddy esque fics that are just so adorable
[✦] [✿] [★] i wanna be adored by @/em1i2a3 | word count: 12.8k | complete!series
summary: You’re not his girlfriend and he’s not your boyfriend. You’ve never even kissed in public let alone been seen together outside of the classroom setting. But somehow, every time Todd Stevens is alone with you, it’s like his self-control gets tested in ways he never imagined. You were supposed to be just a secret–until hiding it stops feeling like protection and starts feeling like a punishment.
thoughts: like i mentioned before on some of the other recs i really love LOVEEE a slowburn that has this seamless transition period in between of point a to something more meaningful. basically when their feelings take the wheel unbeknownst to them and they find themselves doing acting on things in a not so casual way anymore it just makes me so HADWHJAKNWHADB EEEEEKK
Pairing : Jimmy Olsen x (she/her) journalist!Reader
Word Count : 2.3.
Warning : None, I suppose. Sets in Superman timeframe with Jimmy and Eve complications (she deserves better, objectively speaking).
Synopsis : Justin Bieber - Stuck in the Moment (Jimmy version).
Notes : i've had this in my draft for the longest time cause i couldn't find a device to fix the formatting and check for typos, and now the Superman hype is fading already. hopefully this would find its people just fine. also this officially starts my journey with writing for DCU characters so do send me your requests!
please donate to my kofi so I can get a new laptop and write properly cause drafting though phone is hell, i tell you.
“Hi,” Jimmy greets, the rouge on his freckled cheeks rose as he calls her name “good morning,”
She nods, showing a polite smile as she pours her coffee, “morning, Jimmy,”
The boy stood awkwardly, gripping the handle of his mug a little tighter as he debated if he should keep the conversation going, or should he end it here before he made a bigger fool of himself. That sheepish smile was still plastered on his face like a fortress, leaving her with nothing else to do but to watch him in silence. Secretly hoping that those lips of his would utter another word, but just like every other day, Jimmy only lets out a nervous chuckle and retreats to his cubicle.
Her lips pursed in a sour reaction, sipping her coffee that tastes just as bitter as usual.
“That boy is totally smitten by you,” Cat started once she reached her seat.
She rolls her eyes, “don’t even start, Grant,”
“You should see how he stares at you,” she continues “it’s like you’re bigger than Superman. Like you’re the beacon of hope, some sort of a goddess that blessed our world,”
“Never knew Superman is a goddess,” she retorts with a mocking frown.
“You know what I mean,” Cat replies, this time rolling her eyes in return “honestly, why aren’t you two a thing already?”
“I don’t know, why don’t you ask him?”
“Oh, so you’re interested in him, too?”
“That’s not what I’m saying,”
Cat makes a face, teasing, “that’s kinda what you’re saying,”
She turns to her computer, looking annoyed at her teasing, “don’t you have any articles to work on?”
“They can wait,” she answers dismissively before taking a seat by the edge of her desk “no, really, what’s stopping you two? You’d be the cutest couple on Daily Planet,”
The sound of her typing breaks through her silence, ignoring the question thrown by the senior colleague.
In annoyance, Cat presses the power button on her monitor. The blank, black mirror now reflects her exasperated face. She glares at Cat who still has that mischievous smile plastered on her face. Seeing the blonde raised her brows as if silently repeating her question that was left hanging without an answer.
“Gee, I don’t know, Cat. Maybe the fact that we’ve never exchanged any more words than ‘hi’ and ‘good morning’?” she replies at last, now grabbing some pen to write on her note as if showing her just how busy she really is this morning “if he does like me, then he’s doing a very poor job in showing it, and even worse on acting on it,”
Cat shrugs, making a frown, “I don’t know. I think the whole office knows he’s got a massive crush on you. Even Perry was asking if there’s something going on between you two,”
Her head snaps, looking at Cat with a bewildered expression, “he did not,”
“He did,” she argues, bobbing her head up and down “everyone’s talking about it. Everyone,”
“Look, can we just— not make any gossip about me, please? I know that’s your area of expertise, but I’d very much like to be kept in the shadows,” she begs with a sigh, massaging her temple “it’s already hard enough with you feeding me these delusions. I don’t think being the center of discussion in this office would bring me any better peace of mine,”
Cat shrugs, finally moving away from her cubicle, “Hey, I’m just the messenger. Also, it’s not gossip if it’s true,”
“It’s not true, Cat,”
“You two together? No. Him liking you? Definitely yes,”
—-
The rain was pouring outside, and the light from the thunder brightened the now empty floor every time it strikes, yet none of this would break her concentration. Her fingers were busy, trying to catch up with the speed of her brain as she tried to piece the best words to deliver her article. She knew that she could just continue this later. Return to the comfort of her apartment before opening her laptop and resuming the work. It’s not like Perry is putting her under any pressure, anyway. She’s delivered brilliant articles for her columns all this time. If anything, rest and vacation are something she’s greatly encouraged to take. But when that splurge of adrenaline and idea strikes, she knew that she could never rest until it’s all poured down to her computer.
The lift dings as it opened its door. Jimmy’s brows knit as he realized the lights weren’t fully off at this hour. He was too caught up in the record room, trying to find some supporting evidence for an article he was working on that he lost track of time. He didn’t even realize that there was a shower outside until he found himself out of the room.
Jimmy’s track was put to a halt as he saw the person who was still occupying her cubicle. Her back was facing him, no way to tell if she’s aware of his presence now. She looks like she’s dead focused on her work too, and now he doesn’t know how to make his presence known.
Should he say something? Should he make a sound and clear his throat? Should he just take his things and leave quietly?
Before his brain could properly decide on an action, his feet moved themselves and clumsily tripped to the floor, “shit,”
“Hello?” she says as she stood from her seat, startled to hear to commotion “who’s there?”
“It’s just me,” Jimmy answers as he stands, dusting his clothes with a slight wince “just me,”
“Jimmy,” she calls, looking surprised to see him “what are you doing here? I thought everyone left already,”
“Had to dig something in the record room. Took me a while to find them,” he answers as he shows the stack of books in his hand “what are you still doing here?”
She shrugs, “just need to finish this article before the words evaporate from my mind,”
“Right,” he nods, shuffling nervously on his feet before he walks to his own cubicle “well, I.. uh, I won’t keep you, then. I promise I’ll be quiet,”
She smiles at him, watching as he hurriedly takes a seat whilst still steal glances her way, “are you going to continue working?”
“Uh, no, I’m too tired to continue tonight,” he says, turning the seat to face her “but it’s pouring outside, and I don’t have a ride, so I’m just gonna hang here for a bit,”
“Right,” she nods to herself, looking at the window “I didn’t even notice it was raining,”
Jimmy watches her intently, his heart hammers inside his chest, “do you still have a lot to work on?”
“Not really. Just a couple last sentences I have to type, and I’ll be done with it,” she answers “but I don’t have a ride as well, so I guess I’ve no choice but to wait the rain out,”
“Right,” he says this time, nodding as he awkwardly taps his foot.
Now silence fell upon them. She was still standing by her cubicle, while he still glances at her timidly. Neither of them knew what’s to do next. The easiest way would be to just return to their own spaces, ignore the other’s presence until either of them decides to leave the room first, but neither seemed to be willing to close this window. It’s like they’re waiting for the other to do the first move, to say the next word, yet neither is brave enough to take the leap.
Eventually, she nods to herself before turning to her cubicle and sits back. Her back now faces him, making the bitterness grow a little in Jimmy’s heart. It was embarrassing enough for her to stand there like a clown, waiting for him to say something when he doesn’t look like he wanted to prolong the conversation. Saying another word would only make her look desperate, she thought. But in Jimmy’s mind, he was waiting for her to say something. His unexpected presence must’ve already been such an intrusion. Saying the wrong word would only burn his chance of basking in this rare, lonely moment, and he would rather chew his own foot than ruin such moment.
“Do you want some coffee?” Jimmy finally says with all the courage left he could muster, standing from his seat “I can make you some, if you’d like,”
She turns her chair to face him, “how bout some tea, instead? It’s pretty late,”
The boy grins, nodding as his feet starts to take him to the pantry, “one and a half teaspoon of sugar, right?”
“Yes,” she says, an impressed smile curled on her lips “how do you know?”
“Just a hunch,” he says with a shrug, smiling with such cockiness now.
She finds it hard to bite her grin as her fingers start to type the last bit of her article. Her cheeks were warm, probably red from all the nerves that she could only hope would be overshadowed from the dim lighting of the floor. She could see Jimmy from behind her monitor, his back facing her as he waits for the electric kettle to boil. His head sneakily turns to see her at times. Lips still curled in a smile as he does. Boy, isn’t he a candy.
When he finally placed the mug of hot tea on her table, the redness on his face was almost reaching his ears. He still looks nervous, but he chose to stay by her, leaning against her table as he holds his own cup of tea.
“Still not done?” he asks gently.
“No, I’ve finished it. Sent it to Perry just now,” she answers, taking a sip of her tea “thank you for this,”
Jimmy chuckles, “it’s just some tea,”
She smiles, watching the boy intently as she tries to make note of all the creases on his face when he laughs.
The boy puts down his drink, tapping on the handle as he weighs his next words, “listen, I— I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but, uh, people have been talking about us,”
Her smile dilutes, lost in the direction of the topic he’s bringing up.
“And I, uh, I’m really sorry if it brings you any sense of discomfort. You know how people love to gossip,” he continues, his nervous chuckle decorating his words “I just— I mean, if I could, I’d shut them all up, but I only have two hands and there’s like hundreds of mouths here,”
Her expression turns serious, slightly frowning as she asks, “what gossip?”
“I— you know,” Jimmy stutters, turning completely red by now “that I like you,”
“There’s such gossip?”
“Y-Yeah, I thought Cat told you about it, already,”
Her lips pursed, “And it’s just gossip?”
“I mean— I—,”
“There’s not truth in that, whatsoever?” she pressed.
“No, I— fuck,” he curses, covering his face in frustration and running his hands through his hair “it’s complicated,”
Her brows furrow, looking confused now, “I don’t think there’s anything complicated in stating if there’s any truth or not in that gossip,”
“It’s just that— I like you, okay? I really, really like you,” he confesses at last, looking desperate to have those words out of his chest “you have no idea how much I like you. You can tell me to punch Superman on the face, and I’d do it, kind of like you. But it’s just that— it’s just— fuck, it’s complicated, okay?”
“What, it’s not like I’m asking for a marriage, or anything,” she says with a chuckle.
“Yes, but you deserve someone who can fully commit to you,” he cuts in, his eyes filled with regret “and unfortunately, I’m not that person. Not right now,”
She tries to digest his words, looking at his defeated expression with a sigh, “ex-girlfriend?”
“No, not an ex-girlfriend,” he shakes his head in regret, sighing “but something like that, yeah,”
She nods to herself, retreating her back to her seat, “I see,”
“It’s just that— I can’t tell you anything right now, and I don’t know when I can, honestly, but I can’t stop my feelings either, and I just— I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me from all these gossips, that’s all,”
She stays silent, waiting for him to finish his words.
“I really, really like you,” he repeats as if saying those words frees him from some sort of mental bindings “and I would like to get to know you better, but I can’t promise anything. At least, not for now,”
Her finger circles the rim of her mug, “so what now? What do we do with that?”
“I don’t know. Like I said, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me,” he says with a defeated sigh “but if you’d let me, if you’d be fine with just taking things casual for now, then I’d really like to get to know you better while I finish detangling this messy knot I have behind me,”
She pursed her lips, weighing on her options.
“It’s all up to you,” he says again.
She taps her finger to the table now, mimicking the ticking of the clock as she weighs her options. Jimmy was evidently begging with his eyes, desperately hoping that he would be given this unlikely chance even though he knew he didn’t deserve it. Not when he hasn’t cleaned up the mess he left outside.
“Alright,” she finally says, making Jimmy to gulp in nervousness “baby steps. We can just get to know each other first and see where this goes,”
Jimmy’s grin blooms, ecstatic, “really?”
“Who knows, maybe in the middle you grow tired of me and realized you don’t need to end things permanently with that girl,”
“I highly doubt it,” he comments, rolling his eyes “the only concern we should have here is how to make you like me,”
“I don’t know, I think you’re doing pretty okay so far,” she teases “a little frustrating with all the self-sabotaging actions, but fairly okay overall,”
The boy nods, still beaming, “you won’t see that version of me again, I promise,”
She smiles back, bobbing her heard in agreement, “I like movies. You can take me out for it sometime,”
“Yes, ma’am,” Jimmy answers dully “the cinema workers are gonna be so sick of seeing us soon,”
I really really would love to come back into writing, especially for Marvel characters, but I’ve yet to find any worthy ideas to write upon, so please do help my brain with a little push. At the moment I only have Catalyst (Bob Reynolds x Reader) and Waste My Time (Matt Murdock x Reader) series—which I’m currently drafting, so please look forward for future chapters soon—and one Matt Murdock x they/them!Reader to work on, so don’t be shy to knock on my inbox and send in your lovely request!
Pairing : Robert "Bob" Reynolds x (she/her) doctor!Reader
Word Count : a lot.
Warning : Thunderbolts spoilers. Sets during Bob's Project Sentry era. Mentions of medical procedures. Italics mean they're in the void. also, i haven't properly checked this draft so idek if it makes anysense. i'll update soon for the necessary revisions.
Synopsis : For once, he actually let himself grow comfortable in the gentleness of another.
Notes : sorry it's taken forever for me to update. work is beating my ass. drop a comment if you'd wanna be tagged for future chapters!
please donate to my kofi so I can get a new laptop and write properly cause drafting though phone is hell, i tell you.
↞ Part II
There's something seriously wrong with this place.
The flickering of lights now lasts for minutes, long enough to give her quite the dizziness from the flashes of light, and small quakes have been happening more frequently than not. Each time such abnormality happens, she prays that Houston would come barging through the door with his wicked grin, eager to brag about the milestones they've achieved with Bob, yet it never happened. Which only makes her grow more wary.
What kind of tests could they possibly do now to Bob? Are they still following her test plans for Project Sentry, or have Houston changed their course entirely? Is Bob safe, and okay?
The fear in her heart only grows as the quake gets stronger, powerful enough to make her bed move. Perhaps it wasn't Bob who was doing all this. Perhaps they were just having an earthquake.
"We have to go,"
Houston finally runs through the door with a panic-stricken face. His hair was dishevelled, his stethoscope gone from around his neck, and the radio on his pocket was loud of frantic screams.
Gunshots were heard from the outside as Houston left the door open behind him. The panic she felt when she first found herself bound to the bed was only amplified, even though Houston was freeing her off it. Something is harrowingly wrong.
"Abort, abort!" someone calls from the radio "we're losing people, abort!"
"Houston, what's going on?" she says as she finally found her voice to speak.
"It's Robert," Houston answers with a conflicted face. His skin was layered in sweat, breathing laboured, and the look on his eyes was far more traumatised than anyone she's ever seen before "he's gone rogue. I don't— I don't even know what to call it. He's killed people— turned them into dust,"
"What— how—,"
"I don't know, he was just fine yesterday," he answered, hands still busy untangling her binds "this morning, when we drew his blood, he was being quiet—too quiet, even for Bob—and when he saw me, he just— he just started turning people into dust,"
Her brows knit, appalled beyond words as she tried to understand his words. She was still glued to the bed even after Houston freed her, too stunned to make sense of the situation they're in. How could Bob even do what he said? He would never hurt anyone, let alone kill them. Something must've gone horribly wrong to have drove him into this catastrophe.
"Kid, we have to run!" Houston yells as he stops by the door, waiting for her "let's go!"
She quickly got on her feet and headed to the door, running just a few steps behind the older man.
"Where's Bob now?" she asks, panting.
"Last I saw him, he was in my lab. We planned to do some chemical tests with him today to see if he's got any reaction to the substances we've prepared, but before we could even start— Kid!"
Houston's words hung in the air as she sprinted the other way, heading to the stairs to get to Houston's lab. She refused to believe that Bob was causing this much of a disaster unprovoked. They must have done something to him, triggered something in him that they haven't even understood yet, and accidentally unleashed such an apocalyptic incident with Bob being the centre of it all. That would be the only logical explanation to this nightmare, and she would never forgive herself if Bob was to be responsible for something he couldn't even control.
So, she ran up the stairs, fighting the burning of her lungs and how the cramps on her muscle were getting more intense from the sudden physical activity. Her vision was starting to blur, but she couldn't stop now, not when Bob needs her to put an end to this.
When she reached Houston's lab, the glass door that would enclose the place from the hallway was shattered to pieces. Black shadows painted on the wall, and there were bodies lying on the floor. She could see Bob at the end of Houston's lab, sitting on the patient bed with his back facing her, head hung low as if he was defeated.
"Bob?" she calls slowly, walking to him with cautious steps "it's me.. I'm here, Bob,"
Bob didn't move nor say a word.
"Bob, I— I just want to talk, okay? I'm not going to hurt you," she says again, her hand reaching for his shoulders "I just—"
There was a breeze of cold air against her body before she opens her eyes and found herself in her lab. The place was eerily quiet, cold to the point that it sent shivers down her spine. She looks around, puzzled as to how she would be in this position when she was just losing her breath trying to help Bob a minute ago.
"Do you feel any pain right now, Mr. Reynolds?"
She turns to the source of sound, feeling even more baffled to see herself and Bob by the patient room.
"No," he answers, looking down to the many cables attached to his chest right now "and— uh, please don't call me Mr. Reynolds,"
"Okay, what would you like to be called then?" she asked as she fixed his IV drip.
"Bob, please call me Bob,"
"What's going on?" she whispered softly, walking to the patient room. She stops to see her other self's pad, noticing Bob's charts that were still messy. His biometrics were still a nightmare. Low blood pressure, irregular heartbeat, all of these were her initial notes with him.
"Okay, then, Bob," her other self nods, putting her hands in her coat pocket as she speaks to him "I've seen that you've got quite the history with substances, and since there have been cases where patients grow certain level of drug resistance from substance abuse, I'm going to have to keep a close eye on you,"
"No, wait—" she tells her other self once she realised what was going on "stop this!"
Bob looks at her other self in silence. Neither of the two is aware of her presence nor shouts.
"Look, I'm not here to judge or snitch on you to anyone. I just want to make sure that you're okay and will be okay," she smiles softly "and since we'll be seeing a lot of each other, I figure we might as well be friends,"
"Friends..?"
She nods, giving him her first name, "I'll call you Bob, and you can call me that. And since we're calling each other by our first names, technically, we're already friends,"
"You're back,"
She snaps her head to the voice, finding Bob, who's now standing by the patient bed with a tired face.
"Bob—"
"I think I'm gonna pass out," Bob cuts before losing his consciousness, collapsing before she could catch his body.
—-
Her whole body was sore, but she wouldn't trust anyone with Bob alone, even if it was just for a minute.
Bob has been unconscious for twelve hours now. Houston has been checking in on him every hour, giving her the updates on the "clean up" upon his laboratory as well. They would need to write to families of those whose lives were lost today, make reports about the incident before the news spilled to Val and there's nothing left to salvage, but all those things would need a steady and calm head to do, and she couldn't do that without knowing that Bob is safe first.
It took hours of back-and-forth argument before Houston was convinced not to neutralise Bob while he's still out. Convincing Houston drained all her energy, adding to the fact that she had just run and climbed the stairs just to find Bob when she's been strapped to the bed for days. She was drained, fatigued to the point that she might just collapse from the emotional and physical strain, but she couldn't afford to leave Bob. Even if it's just to take a thirty-minute nap.
"Still not awake?" Houston asked as he comes in the room.
She shakes her head, "Not even a twitch on his finger,"
Houston sighs, looking at her with a pitied expression, "You look exhausted,"
"Brilliant observation, Houston," she muttered, running a hand through her hair "why don't you let me know when you've noticed anything new, hm?"
"You should get some rest," the older man answers, ignoring the sour commentary she spat to him "I'll watch over him,"
"And have you injected him with some other altered serum? No, thank you,"
"I'm not going to hurt him," he sighs in vexation, his patience going thin with everything that has happened "even though, I still think we should neutralise him while we can. There's no telling what he's going to do when he wakes up,"
"Wow, you just made me trust you a million times better than before, thank you,"
Houston clenches his jaw, standing by the edge of Bob's bed now, "What do you plan to do with him?"
"I don't know," she answers honestly "I just need him to open his eyes first and tell me what he feels. If he's in any pain, if he remembers anything that would help me decide on how to help him next,"
She watches Bob's sleeping face closely. He looks at ease, so peaceful and calm as if he's having the best rest in his life. His breathing was steady, chest rising and falling at a lull pace. There would be no telling that he's just unleashed such horror to this building a couple of hours ago from how babylike he's sleeping right now.
The question as to what she would do next with him has been running in her head like a trapped bee in a glass, buzzing with no mean of escape even though it feels as if the answer was already served in front of her.
She knew that the right thing to do would be to follow Houston's plan, to eliminate the threat while we still have the upper hand. But is Bob really a threat? Is he really the monster that they need to fight with their swords and pitchforks? It is a shame that lives were lost today from whatever it is that's happened with Bob, but was it something done intentionally, or was it something out of his control?
"I talked to Val," Houston speaks again, earning a snap of turned head from the unexpected news "I didn't tell her about what happened here. Not yet at least. She had more urgent news to share,"
Her brows furrow, "What kind of news?"
"Project Sentry has officially been shut down. She's to be on trial for impeachment over suspicion of human malpractice. It's messy back there in the US,"
"What— what does that mean for us?" she questions "for Bob?"
Houston shrugs, "I'm not sure, but for now, she just said to keep everything under wrapped. No more trials, just hit the brakes and stop whatever is yet to be touched,"
She turns to Bob, worried for his fate.
"I've never sent her his reports, you know," Houston confessed "honestly, I never thought he'd survive the trials, so I never bothered to compile his reports, but after seeing you care for him, I felt like I didn't have the right to report anything about him,"
She flashes Houston a smile, thankful.
"But, Kid, you need to draw the line," he reminds gently "we've lost lives today. Lives who mattered just as much as your patients do. We can't risk losing more lives if it's just to save one person,"
"I know," she mutters softly before nodding to Houston, taking a deep breath before she makes her promise "if it ever comes to it, I'll do it myself,"
Houston shows a conflicted expression.
"He's my patient, Houston," she tries to convince him "leave him to me,"
The older man nods. He leaves the thick folder of Bob's files on the bed, along with her ID on top of it. As bitter as it is for him to admit it out loud, kidnapping her and keeping her away from her laboratory was a mistake. Perhaps they could've prevented all of this had he not kept her away from Bob.
She looks back to Bob, watching just how still he now lays on the bed. She reaches for his hand, holding it tight to help him feel her presence. His hand was warmer than how she last remembered, and it made her feel a little at ease to know that he's doing better, whatever it might mean now.
—-
Bob's eyes flutter open, trying to adjust to the brightness of the room that only amplifies the pounding in his head. His whole-body aches, like he's just been stomped by a herd of elephants. He looks around the room, noticing that it was a different room than the one he's been assigned in for the past weeks. He was about to rub his eyes when he noticed the gentle hold of his hand.
He looks down to see her head resting next to their intwined hands. She was asleep, mouth slightly parted from just how evidently tired she is. Her other hand serves as a makeshift pillow. Certainly, a bad condition to sleep in, but she doesn't seem to mind the uncomfortable position.
Bob's heartbeat rises, and he hopes the beeping of the monitor wouldn't wake her. He tries to take deep breaths, hoping that it would calm his nerves, but the desire to touch her was making it hard for him to remain collected. He takes a nervous gulp before moving his other hand, hovering it above her head for a few seconds as he debated if he could pat her.
Gently, Bob lowers his hand and placed it on top of her head. He feels the strands of her hair on his calloused palm, softly patting her head in hope that it would bring her better comfort, but it only made her awake from her slumber.
"You're awake!" she exclaimed, scrambling from her seat and jumping to see his monitors. She started to make notes of his data, mumbling to herself about his condition. Her worry filled eyes were staring back at him with that sense of gentleness that is in contrast to how stern her tone was "are you in any pain now, Bob?"
"I— No," he answers with a little surprise from her frantic reaction "I'm sorry to wake you up, I didn't mean to,"
She shakes her head, sitting on the edge of his bed as her hands start to do some checking up to his face, "Your pupils look normal, no foul colours to your eyes,"
He remains silent, his chest constricted a little from her alert manner.
"Any strange feeling anywhere?" she asks again, starting to listen to his insides with her stethoscope "any ache, tingle, anything?"
"No, nothing," Bob answers, looking at her with an almost pleading eyes "I promise,"
She nods in acknowledgement, finally letting out a sigh of relief as she slumps back to her seat.
"You're back," he notes with an uncertain tone.
"I am," she nods with a small smile before sitting back straight and leaning closer to him "do you.. do you remember what happened, Bob?"
"With your disappearance?"
"No, not with my disappearance," she answers, looking conflicted on how to piece to words "do you know where you are?"
"Not really," he says as he takes a look around "I don't know how I got here, either,"
Her brows furrow, "What do you last remember?"
"I don't know, I—," Bob says as he tries to recall his memory, massaging his temple as the headache starts to creep in "I only remember getting up, and the nurse strolled me to Dr. Houston's lab,"
"I see.. Anything else you remember?"
"No," he shakes his head "I did something bad, didn't I?"
She kept quiet, watching him intently as she tried to think of the best way to break the news.
"I always forget things after an episode," Bob continues with a guilt ridden smile, sighing in shame "what did I do?"
She shakes her head, smiling, "We don't have to talk about that now—,"
"No," he cuts, nodding to give her the assurance "tell me,"
She tries to read into his face, tracing the degree of his vulnerability that she could risk with. The guilt he feels was dripping out of him, thick like blood spilling out of a wound. Her hand reaches for his, holding it gently in hope that it would soften the harsh truth she's about to share.
"You went rogue," she begins "I don't know what truly happened. I didn't see it myself, but— we lost lives today,"
Bob clenches his jaw, his chest getting even tighter from the news.
"Houston said you turned people into dust," she continues with an uncertain tone, almost as if she was questioning him "I don't know how that happened, or what may have triggered it, but that's about what happened,"
Bob retreats the hand she holds and starts palming his face with both of his hands. His breathing laboured, shoulders moving up and down in a shaky way. He was crying.
She watches in silence as he crumbles. His sobs were getting louder, body shaking from all the guilt weighed on his shoulders. She wanted to comfort him, to tell him that it wasn't his fault, but she knew white lies won't cover the damage done. No bandage is big enough to close the wound he's bleeding from, and it pains her to know that this is the one injury she could not help healing of.
"I just wanted to help," he says with a hoarse voice "but I only ever make things worse,"
"Bob—,"
"You should kill me," he finally looks up, eyes bloodshot from the tears "end this before I hurt anyone else,"
"No—,"
"Please," he begs "you can't fix me,"
"I don't want to fix you, Bob, I want to heal you," she says softly, holding his hand "I want to help you,"
He forces a smile, "There's nothing for you to help. I'm beyond saving,"
Her defence broke as he uttered his surrender. She pulls him into a tight embrace, rubbing his back and whispering assurance to his ears. Bob chokes from the sudden gesture, completely shattered as he buries his face to the crook of her neck.
"I'm sorry, Bob," she whispers "I'm sorry for everything. I should've never injected you with those serums,"
Bob continues to weep in her embrace. He's too emotional to make out of a word, too drained to think of an argument to say over her self-proclaimed regret. He holds her close, afraid that she would evaporate if he let go. She's the only anchor to sanity now. The only light to his even darker life. And though he felt like he didn't deserve her kindness, Bob would be selfish for once because if he was to lose her again, God knows that it would be a dark path of no return for him.
Bucky’s vibranium finger draws circles to her bare shoulder, gently leaving his invinsible trace that he secretly wished would inked a little deeper on her. His other arm was underneath her head, working as a makeshift pillow as he became the bigger spoon for her. He breathes in deep the scent of her shampoo. The way the strands of her hair becomes the only barrier between her head and his chest—his chest that is trying it’s hard to conceal the fast beating of his heart—was comforting. Something he could claim closest to what a home would feel like.
With every rise and fall of her shoulders, Bucky could only wish that the universe would do him this one favour, just one time: to stop the sun from rising and let him lay with her a little longer. He would die a happy man tomorrow if he could just hold her a little closer tonight. Kiss more inch of her skin, and breathe more of her laughter between their kisses. But even for a selfish man like him, he knew that some things were just beyond your reach.
And so he plants a soft kiss on her shoulder, whispering the silent sentiment that’s threatening to burst out of his lips to her ears before peeling himself off of the blanket. He reaches for their phones, hitting snooze on both of their alarms. He knew just how much she needed the rest. The trainings and missions she’s thrown herself lately have been quite worrying, but he knew better than to waste the little window they had with scolding her about it.
Bucky’s steps were silent as he entered the bathroom. The only sound breaking the stillness of the bedroom now was the faint trickling of water from the shower. She opens her eyes, assured that he’s out of sight before letting out a sigh.
Now she sits up, leaning her back to the head of the bed as her eyes stare longingly to the bathroom door. She wonders if his mind was heavy like hers. She wonders if the weight in her chest was felt by him, as well. She wonders if it was getting harder to breathe, staring into each other’s eyes and silently praying that the other would take the leap of faith and shed their pride. She wonders.
She glances at the clock. It’s barely three am, right now. They wouldn’t be needed for another good four hours, but supposed staying over her apartment was already a breach of their initial agreement, and she shouldn’t demand for anything more than she’s spared of. Having Bucky around wasn’t of her right, it was of grace. She knew her place. She’s heard of the women he’s ever been involved with, and it would be foolish to think she could ever carve her name on the list.
But it has been more challenging not to let herself indulge in such fantasy. The way his eyes would linger. How his smile would only bloom whenever she’s around, and the overly protective manner he shows to her lately. How he would inspect her equipment before she’s off for a mission himself. Lord, who wouldn’t think of the best possible scenarios when his eyes were locked on yours while his hands were busy checking the harness on your body? When he authoritatively demands for you to promise on being careful and keeping the intercom on at all times? When he begs for your return?
It was cruel. He was cruel. But she’s rather be the object of his cruelty than to be nothing at all.
Y/N and Bob had a life before he disappear, full of love, hope, and a lot of chaos, but they managed each other, she was the only one who truly could make him avoid the void inside his mind. How could he turn his only light into a shadow in his mind ?
⭒ The ghost I left behind - II by @/brookghaib-blog
⭒ Accident by @upl0aded
you and bob had always been perfect, you kept him happy and he kept you satisfied. but what happens when a buried memory accidentally gets revived?
⭒ going out by @mallory524
shing to defend him when he gets overwhelmed and people aren’t kind to him.
⭒ 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃. By @bloodybreakupscene
although he isn't aware it's even a thing, you're bob's comfort person, his safe space.
⭒ maybe one day by @fireinmoonshot
Every time you wake up from a nightmare, Bob is there to help you get back to sleep. This time, however, is a little different.
⭒ Something for you by @layla4567
Y/n doesn't know that Bob likes her, but she wonders why he acts weird when she's being nice, maybe she has a sneaky suspicion
⭒ Back To You by @callsign-swan
Valentina finds a way to control Bob and The Sentry: His wife
⭒ Sneaking Around by @/callsign-swan
Bob doesn't mean to be sneaking around. But he can't help it. He's got a secret, and he wants to keep it that way. Too bad he's best friends with Yelena Belova.
⭒ Catalyst I by @shadowbriar
For once, he actually let himself grow comfortable in the gentleness of another.
⭒ ❝ 𝐨𝐡, 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬. ❞ by @swordgrace
plagued by nightmares, bob takes comfort in the one person who’s pulled him from the shadows time and time again — you.
⭒ archives room by @owastie
you’re tasked with searching through the archives room to find some information on a new threat
⭒ Here Now by @countlessimagines
The past seems to always haunt you.
⭒ Threads of Memory by @pink-petal-horns
⭒ Only you by @woantohae
Bob's dark, evil entity, The Void, appears when you least expect it. The rest of the team must be prepared to confront him and his prevailing malice. However, there is only one person on the team with whom he has a soft spot. And it's her
⭒ Nothing’s gonna stop us now by @/woantohae
Y/N is pulled into the Void by the dark entity that takes over Bob. The team prepares to go after her, while Y/N and Void seem to get a little closer. But at the same time, the past and traumas can be revived.
⭒ Thunderbolts by @/woantohae
What happens when a group of "bad people" needs to assemble to fight something bigger than them?
⭒ In my arms by @/woantohae
The Thunderbolts are constantly on missions, busy trying to do good and save whoever they can. One of them was Bob Reynolds, the defenseless yet powerful man who is part of this team and family. However, he doesn't participate in these missions so he can continue practicing controlling his powers.
⭒ dating headcnaons by @gay-dorito-dust
⭒ relationship headcanons by @/gay-dorito-dust
⭒ soft moments Void has with sunshine reader by @/gay-dorito-dust
⭒ Void by @trainer-from-unova
they were getting used to bob and void. most of the time they dealt with bob, who was shy and respectful — and on the other side was void, who thought he was superior to everyone (or almost everyone) and could get on their nerves a lot of the time, but they had learned that, for some reason, most of the time he only showed up when the former was alone with _______, so they tried not to let those situations happen.
⭒ a second by @/trainer-from-unova
void started feeling something about you, and when he discovered that bob was your boyfriend he felt frustrated. wanting to live what he lived every day he convinced you that kissing him or having sex with him wasn't being unfaithful since they both share the same body.
⭒ muscle memory by @/trainer-from-unova
on the few occasions that void was present he couldn't help but turn his neck in the direction ______ was facing, fix his eyes on her, prick up his ears when he heard her voice, and even felt the urge to take her hand. those were things, or rather according to him, distractions that got on his nerves.
⭒ told you I’ll be waiting, hiding from the rainfall by @fallenprophets
he left you in Malaysia, volunteering for a study he promised would make him “better”. You’ve almost come to terms with the fact that he’s gone, when you see him again.
⭒ Peace and Quiet by @scarletmika
Sometimes the tower is too loud, and Bob can feel himself getting overwhelmed. He’s always found comfort with you, in your room, where he can find peace and quiet whenever he needs it. And you’ll never turn him away, finding the same comfort in him.
⭒ Stay With Me by @/scarletmika
Bob wants to feel useful, to truly be part of the team, but the others don’t think he’s ready. You take it upon yourself to teach him control, to guide him through. But mistakes will be made, and it might not be possible to keep the darkness from creeping back in once more.
⭒ Always by @/scarletmika
Bob stayed with you, just as you asked, and life couldn’t be better. But the past always has a way of catching up with you, no matter how hard you try and push it away and leave it behind. Now, it’s Bob’s turn to save you.
⭒ xerox Part one by @ichorai
you had one last job before you were free. no more splitting, no more deaths. unfortunately, that job seemed to rope in four other assassins and a… a man in hospital-wear?
⭒ 𝐇𝐂: 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑 by @wynnerwynner
⭒ “𝐔𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠” by @ang3ltine
Bob was asleep for God knows how long, now that he has the chance at a better life. Who better to show him than you?
⭒ So High School by @pagesfromthevoid
⭒ how robert reynolds quietly shows you that he’s in love with you by @attalew
⭒ Dating Bob Headcanons by @sacredsorceress
⭒ Reconnection by @jaesvelvet
You’ve been longing for Robert Reynolds for seven years now. No matter how hard you try to let him go, your heart refuse to do so but after a weird moment of being trapped in your own nightmare, you finally found Robert. On a local news along side with the new Avengers.
first, I'd like to say happy pride month for us all! sending love and hugs to you all, i pray that we will be blessed by warmth and surrounded with love all around us, always.
for the past few weeks, i have been seeing posts about the Harry Potter fandom, especially regarding the fact that they're rebooting the work into a series. first and foremost, i would like to make it clear that i do not stand with the beliefs that jay-kay row-ling has. i do not believe in oppression against anyone, let alone support beliefs that invalidate ones' identity. it is a great shame that a fandom that should be a safe space for everyone is tainted by such disgrace.
that being said, i have been reflecting on what i could do to not support this madness. it is my understanding that that woman has been using the profit from the HP works to fund anti-trans campaigns and i have stopped myself from watching, reading, and purchasing any licensed works related to her for years eversince. however, there was a post i came across a couple days back about how fanfiction, although not directly, is still going to make that woman profit, as it keeps the buzz and ultimately would still be a good marketing on her part. this thought haunts me and made me feel a little guilty.
i built this account from writing fics about George and Fred Weasley, two characters that i hold close to my heart, and it pains me that i could not enjoy them as dearly as i can anymore from this guilt. at the moment, i am putting a halt to writing anything related to the Harry Potter world until i could convince myself that the work i do will not harm anyone in any way. i am open for discussions if anyone would like to educate me better or just to talk about this issue. my main concern right now is to make sure that the thing i love, the pieces that i pour my heart into, would not be related in anyhow to the ill-treatment of anyone, in anyway.
again, i am open to discuss about this matter with anyone. please do let me know if any part of this post is offensive, wrongly informed, or in anyway harmful to anyone.
Pairing : Robert "Bob" Reynolds x (she/her) doctor!Reader
Word Count : more than 200 words.
Warning : Thunderbolts spoilers. Sets during Bob's Project Sentry era. Mentions of medical procedures. Not proofread cause I'm doing this on my phone.
Synopsis : For once, he actually let himself grow comfortable in the gentleness of another.
Notes : i think i've gathered the rough idea for this short series. be mindful that i might not update as fast as you'd like, so drop a comment if you'd wanna be tagged for future chapters!
please donate to my kofi so I can get a new laptop and write properly cause drafting though phone is hell, i tell you.
↞ Part I
Bob's hands were always cold. That's one of the first things she noticed about him.
At first, she thought it was just because he was nervous or that the room was too cold for him to stay in. They have to keep the temperature a little below the average to minimise the chance of contamination in the lab, but as she learned more about him, reading all the substance abuse and his history of mental illnesses, his cold hands were certainly caused by something greater than just the cold air.
Bob wasn't even supposed to be one of her patients. He was one of the junior doctors'. A subject that they didn't even expect to be able to survive the first trial—seeing the many potential underlying health issues he might have from his previous lifestyle—but it just so happened that she came to the lab the morning his procedure was being done, and one look at those innocent, terrified eyes, and she knew she couldn't leave him out of her sight.
"Do you feel any pain right now, Mr. Reynolds?"
"No," he answers, looking down to the many cables attached to his chest right now "and— uh, please don't call me Mr. Reynolds,"
"Okay, what would you like to be called then?" she asked as she fixed his IV drip.
"Bob, please call me Bob,"
"Okay, then, Bob," she nods, putting her hands in her coat pocket as she speaks to him "I've seen that you've got quite the history with substances, and since there have been cases where patients grow certain level of drug resistance from substance abuse, I'm going to have to keep a close eye on you,"
Bob looks at her with quite the fright in his eyes, barely blinking as he tries to understand her words.
"Look, I'm not here to judge or snitch on you to anyone. I just want to make sure that you're okay and will be okay," she smiles softly, hoping he wouldn't feel threatened anyhow "and since we'll be seeing a lot of each other, I figure we might as well be friends,"
"Friends..?"
She nods, giving him her first name, "I'll call you Bob, and you can call me that. And since we're calling each other by our first names, technically, we're already friends,"
Bob smiles hesitantly.
She watches him a little closely. Bob's smile lines were deep. There's a shy dimple on his right cheek that would only appear if he was fully grinning. The curls on the corner of his lips rarely reach his eyes, but when they do, she finds it hard to peel her eyes off him. She also notices that he speaks louder to himself than when he was conversing with anyone. Bob always speaks in question, as if he was afraid to be persistent or cause any disturbance to anyone. A habit that she couldn’t help but to feel a little sad of for there must be a persisting cause to have moulded him into this hesitant man.
"Do you think this test is as true as how they promote it?" Bob asks, looking down to his IV-ed hand.
"How do they promote it?"
"That it'll make you better," he answers, looking up to her "they say it's for people who wants to make something better out of themselves,"
She remained quiet, watching him intently.
"Do you think it'll make me better?" Bob asks once again.
"I don't know," she shakes her head, answering his question truthfully "but what I do know, is that I will do all that I can to make sure that you'll be okay. That you're not hurt in any way,"
"That's not really what I signed up for," he replies, not meeting her eyes. There was a clear disappointment in his heart as he let out a sigh, picking on his nails as if he was regretting the decision he’s made. She wonders if she should just excuse herself or try to offer him any better words of comfort, but before she could say anything, Bob finally looks up with half a smile on his face "at least, I gained a friend,"
She smiles back at him, hoping that it looks as genuine as the fondness she feels for the man, "I'll try my best, Bob,"
And that's how it all started. How she unknowingly committed herself to a patient like never before. Every time she came to make notes of his progress, every time she checked his blood pressure—even though she knew that the nurses have done it prior to her visit—she would always touch his hand to see if they were getting warmer.
There's a lot of wounds Bob has that he hasn't shared with her, lots of things she wished he would let her heal, but trying to fix his cold hands feels like the right first step. She wanted to make sure that he was getting better, that she was healing the causes of his cold hands, whichever it might be. Perhaps it was the drug doing all the work, but even then, knowing that she developed it and monitoring his progress now, still made her feel content on the little help she could offer for him.
"Your hands are getting warmer," she notes with a smile.
"I— yeah, they are, aren't they?" Bob says, rubbing his hands together from the pleasant surprise "I've always had cold hands all my life,"
She smiles, feeling happy from his beaming response.
"Do you have cold hands, as well?" Bob asks.
"Never as cold as yours were," she answers, opening her palms "do you want to touch my hand?"
Bob looks up to see her eyes. There was evident surprise written on his face, as if he never expected anyone to share him such an offer. He looks back down to her open, inviting hand, hesitating, "Can I?"
"Of course,"
Bob's fingers were shaking a little as he reached for her hand. He places his palm on top of hers, laying it flat as if he doesn't know how to properly touch her. The size of his hand could easily envelop hers, a little warmer than ever, but still colder than hers.
"You're warm," he mentions, eyes still glued to their hands "small, but warm,"
She smiles at him, watching as he lets out a little sigh of satisfaction, "You'll get there. We'll get your hands warm soon, Bob,"
—-
The dizziness in her head seeps in as she slowly regains her consciousness. The lights above her head were blinding, scorching her pupils as it showered her with unnecessary brightness. She tried to cover her eyes with her hands, but her body was bound tight to the bed she's laying at. Strapped down to the point that she couldn't even turn her body.
"You're awake," a voice calls "I'm very sorry, Kid, but you left me no choice,"
She turned her head to see the man, head still hazy from the subdued tranquilliser, "You're a sick man, Houston,"
He shows a pitied smile, looking as if he knew himself just how much he's disappointed her.
"Let me go," she demands weakly, moaning as the ache on her body starts to settle "get these straps off me,"
The man shakes his head with regret, "I can't do that,"
"You— you're killing these people.. how could you?" she asks with a louder voice, struggling to free herself "I thought we were doing something good here, something important that would help the world. Why would you alter my serums, Houston, why?"
"Because you only wanted to make people better, not best," he begins, standing from his seat and turning to back her. He runs his hand through his white hair, frustrated of the circumstances they've found themselves in "you— you're too good, too kind, and we can't afford to be that. Not right now,"
She watches him without a word, confused as to what he’s trying to explain.
"We don't need better people. Better, is not enough. We need the best, and you can't be the best if there's plenty of you,"
"So, what, you let these people die and hope that one of them would survive?"
"That's the idea, yes," he answers as he faces her again "Project Sentry needs to produce a hero that is the best. A god, if not something greater. And we can't have that if they can't even survive a little molecular alteration from the serum,"
"You're injecting them with cancer," she argues, closing her eyes as the weight of guilt washes over her "no one is going to be able to come out of this experiment alive,"
"I fear you've underestimated yourself, Kid," Dr. Houston says with a little smile, walking closer to her "not only did you develop the serum, but you also took care of the man until he survived it. You healed and made him greater, at the same time,"
She looks at him with confounded expression, feeling her heartbeat rising as she realises who he's talking about, "No.. Bob—,"
"He's in great hands. You don't need to worry about him," he cuts in "Robert is our most valuable asset, the answer to OXE Group's need, and we have you, and only you, to thank for,"
"Don't you— if you touch Bob—," she begins to panic, squirming under the straps until it chaffed her skin "you're killing him! No one can survive that serum, no one! You're only setting him up for death!"
"Perhaps, but he's been thriving in all our physical tests, and I believe it's time for us to call Valentina. Show her about our breakthrough,"
"No—," her yelling fell to Houston's deaf ears as the man walks away, heading to the door "Houston, come back here and untie me! Let me go! You're killing him! Let me go! Houston—,"
She yelled and begged until her voice was gone. Her throat is now sore, and the exposed skin that met the edges of the strap was now bleeding from how hard she tries to pry herself out. She was exhausted, confused, and above all, scared of what's going to happen for Bob. Part of her feels guilty to have unknowingly put him in such a dangerous spot, but a bigger part of her, the more vulnerable and shy part of her, was scared that she would never get to see him again. The idea of never looking into those blue eyes again, to never see his smile lines, or touch his now warm hands, scare her more than whatever it is Houston might do to her.
Because if it wasn't for her to come and rescue Bob, who else would?
—-
The concept of time has practically gone pointless when you're tied in a room with no windows. She wasn't sure how long she has been trapped in this room, how long since she was injected with whatever it is Houston used to immobilised her, nor how long has it been since he last came in. The only time anyone ever comes in and out of that one door is to feed her and to walk her to the restroom, and that is done with rough, high security manner.
As she stared at the empty wall, she noticed that the light in the room was flickering. Not the kind of flickers that happened when the lamps were about to go out, but the kind of flicker you see when the electrical power was being messed with. She knew that the lab has backup generators, they couldn't afford a full outage if there should ever be any issue with the electricity, so the flickering lights certainly made her raise her brows.
At first, this flicker happens rarely during the day, but as time goes by, the more days she spends trapped in the room, the more frequent this flickering happens. Sometimes, the blackout lasts longer than three seconds, and she could only imagine just how many of her samples would've gone spoilt in the lab if she was still working. It's odd to know that Houston is doing nothing to fix that persisting electrical issue.
"You have some serious issues with those lamps," she comments as Houston finally revisits "are we running out of money to pay for the electricity bills?"
Houston shows a meaningful smile, one that holds a thousand secret she couldn't decipher, "Isn't it magnificent?"
Her brows rose, "What is?"
"The miracles Robert could do for us,"
"Bob did this..? But— how—,"
"I’ve told you, you're underestimating yourself,"
"What— what did you do to him?" she demands, tossing herself around to wiggle off the straps once again "let me go, Houston, let me see him!"
"He's doing fine, Kid," Houston chuckled a little, taking a seat "as I said, he's OXE Group's most valuable asset. We wouldn’t do anything to harm him, not when we’re so close to achieving our goal. We're taking good care of him, don’t worry,"
She looks away, trying to digest Houston's words. It's true, Bob is their only surviving subject. They wouldn't do anything to jeopardise their project, now that they're a step closer towards their mission. But it would be too risky to take Houston's words as it is. There's no limit to the eagerness and optimism OXE Group has for Project Sentry. One wrong decision and it would spoil all their hard work. Worse, it might actually harm Bob.
"You're bleeding again," Houston says as he notices the skin that was scarred by the straps "you need to stop hurting yourself this way, Kid,"
"Well, then, get me off of these and let me free,"
"And have you kidnapped our subject? Get him out of this building and make him disappear?" the older man asks, smiling triumphantly when he sees her surprised face "Robert told me about your plan to get him out of his room,"
"I never thought of kidnapping him, I just wanted to get him out of that depressing room," she defends "he's a person, Houston. Treat him like one,"
"Oh, we're treating him much better than that. He's to be a God, remember?"
She smiles a little, mocking, "And what then? When you've successfully turned him into a God, what then? What makes you think that a God would listen to you? To Val? To anyone?"
Houston's smile waters, looking caught off guard.
"You don't know what you're doing, Houston," she continues, pouring petrol to the flame "that's your problem: you just do, you never think. You should be ashamed of yourself. You're not even a doctor. You're just a puppet,"
"Well, we've all made mistakes with this project," he shrugs, acting as if her words didn't sting "at least, I'm not the one trapped and strapped in a room,"
"I'm here because of you," she spat bitterly.
"No, you're here because of yourself," he corrected as he pointed at her in a disapproving manner "you grew too close, Kid. You know the first rule of working in this industry is to never get personal. Not to your peers, not to your subjects, and yet, here you are, risking your life for a man you've only met for a couple weeks,"
She glares at him, "He's my patient, I have to care for him,"
"Is that all he really is?"
She remains quiet, looking away as she swallows her own saliva in shame. She knew that Houston was right. She's long crossed the one line she shouldn't have toyed with in the first place. A doctor should never grow personal to their patient, especially when the nature of your relationship was not as simple. Bob wasn't just a man who scrapped his knee and came to her for a band aid. He was a man who knew the risks of admitting himself to this program, and she was the doctor who was responsible for just observing him. Nothing more, nothing less. And yet here she is, days away from sunlight with her mind plagued with one thing only: Bob.
"You need to remember who you are," Houston continues with a gentler tone "you're not just a doctor here, Kid. You're a scientist, too, and as scientists, we're bound to lose our subjects, be it through success or failure,"
With a gentle squeeze to her shoulder, Houston stood from his seat. He gave her a smile, a conflicted one that tells her it pains him to have her treated this way, too, but he's left with no other choice. He couldn't risk her putting the project on the line or cause any more damage to herself.
"Wait," she called before he could reach for the doorknob "does he.. does he ever ask about me?"
Houston turns to face her, showing another apologetic smile as he shakes his head, "No,"
She blinks, finding his answer to be hard to accept, but it would be a lie to say she didn't expect it. Supposed she should feel glad that she's not putting Bob in any kind of stress from her disappearance that might disturb his great progress, yet it stings still to know that she never held that much importance to him as she would like. It was childish of her to take any promises they've made any more serious than just some casual nonsense. She's the one who left, after all. She, too, would stop looking for someone if they suddenly leave without an explanation. It was the one thing she promised most for him, that she would be there for him always, and yet she's gone. Even if it was against her wishes.
"I'm sorry, Kid," Houston apologises.
She looks up to him, forcing a smile and pretending as if none of this conversation hurts her, "He's just a patient,"
The man nods, showing a last apologetic smile before he leaves.
The room feels as if it's grown as the door shuts. She looks up to the ceiling, trying not to let the tears that were starting to form on her eyes fall. It is sad to cry for a man you barely know, but even more pathetic to not being able to wipe your tears off.
Houston was right. The serum worked, and Bob is thriving with his new powers. They should all triumph in the success of the project, popping bottles of champagne in celebration and planning for their upcoming overdue vacations. But why does she find it hard to find any fraction of happiness in her heart? Why does she feel reluctant to take any pride in the success of this project? Shouldn't she be happy that Bob's trial worked and that he doesn't need her anymore?
Perhaps it was the guilt of everybody else who didn't survive the test that made her this hesitant, but to say it out loud would be the biggest lie she'd ever confess to the world. Sure, the passing patients would become the demons she has to fight every night in her sleep, but this wasn't about them, was it? It wasn't about the other patients—it was about Bob. It was about the hope of leaving this place with him. It was about the idea of having that walk around the city and trying out new places with him. It was about seeing the smile lines on his face and feeling the warmth on his hands.
It was about the fact that she now realised such hope was nothing more than a reverie.
Pairing : Robert "Bob" Reynolds x (she/her) doctor!Reader
Word Count : a lot, idk how many exactly cause I'm drafting this on my phone.
Warning : Thunderbolts spoilers. Sets during Bob's Project Sentry era. Mentions of medical procedures. Not proofread cause I'm doing this on my phone.
Synopsis : For once, he actually let himself grow comfortable in the gentleness of another.
Notes : we love Bob, Bob deserves the world. I kinda want to make this a mini series but idk how the plot should go. I'm open for ideas if you have any suggestions!
also, please donate to my kofi so I can get a new laptop and write properly cause drafting though phone is hell, i tell you.
"Breath in for me,"
Bob tries to control his breathing as her gloved hands sneak under his pyjamas. His eyes were everywhere, but her, trying to distract his mind from how the close proximity has made him able to get a whiff of her faint perfume, or see the pendant of her necklace dangling as she leans a little to put the stethoscope on his chest.
"Your heartbeat is peaking," she highlights as the heart monitor beeped a little louder "Are you feeling any pain?"
"No, I'm just startled from the cold metal," he lies through his teeth.
Her brows were still furrowed once she stepped away from him, making notes of his monitor on her pad, "It looks like you're having frequent rise of heartbeat, especially whenever I try to listen to your insides. Are you sure you're feeling okay, Bob?"
He nods, unable to say any word.
"No headaches? Heartburn? Pain anywhere?"
"No," he says in a tiny voice "I'm feeling great,"
"Okay, let me see your eyes then," she says before placing her hands to his jaws. Her thumbs pulling the skin under his eyes a little to see if there's any foul colour on it. Bob's fingers were now gripping the thin sheet of his bed tightly as he tried to calm his nerves. The heart monitor is once again betraying him as it beeps more frequently, erratic to the point that it worries her "Your heart is beating so fast, are you sure you're feeling okay, Bob?"
She places her hand on his chest, feeling the rapid beating of his heart. Her face was filled with worry now, as the beads of sweat on Bob's forehead started to fall. Colour was starting to fade from his face, as well. He was turning pale.
"I'm nervous," he confessed shyly, taking a small gulp.
"Of what?"
You, he wanted to say, but he knew that it would be too inappropriate to utter. He was one of the many patients she's taking care of, one of the many test subjects for the project, and though he wants to believe that she's treating him a little kinder than the others for the same sentiment he hoards for her, he knew that at the end of the day, she was only doing her job and what matters for her was the drugs' progression, not him as a person.
"What if it doesn't work? Will you kick me out of the lab?" Bob asks instead.
The corners of her lips curled upwards, smiling to him as she takes a seat on the edge of his bed, "Do you mind if I sit here?"
Bob shakes his head.
"You're my friend, Bob. Where ever these drugs would lead us to, I will always take care of you, I can promise you that," she reassures, giving the most gentle squeeze on his arm as she continues "I will never, ever, let anything bad happen to you, okay? You're my favourite person in this whole lab and I would never let anything hurt you. But in order to do that, you need to help me out a little. You need to tell me if you feel any pain or anything strange, really, so I can help you and stop it from happening again,"
"I'm not feeling any pain," he says with eyes glued on hers "I promise,"
Her eyes scanned for any trace of lies on his face before nodding, smiling in understanding, "Okay, then, let's get back to those beautiful blue eyes of yours. Try to relax, okay?"
Bob nodded like an obedient little kid. This time the heart monitor didn't beep as frequently when she places her hands back to his face. The grip he has on the sheet have loosened, and his breathing has gone more at eased. For once, he actually let himself grow comfortable in the gentleness of another.
"Your pupils are a little dilated," she noticed as they stare into each other's eyes "Perhaps because of your nerves, but we'll still put that in the chart for future references, okay?"
Bob nods, "So, everything else is good?"
"Yup, so far so good," she answers with a nod, putting her pad down "I'm not supposed to share this, but you're our strongest subject and I'd like to think that it's because you and I are more than just doctor and patient. We're friends,"
His smile grows, still timid but it's brighter than she's ever seen before.
"You look really cute when you smile. You should do it more often," she compliments.
The rouge on his cheeks bloom. Bob looks away, trying his best to hide his bashful face from her. The long strands of his hair falls to his eyes, but he knew that it wouldn't be enough to hide just how red his whole face is.
Noticing his embarrassed self, she smiles to herself and stood from his bed, "Well, I'll leave you to rest then,"
"Wait," Bob calls before she could leave the room "How much longer do I have to stay here?"
"I'm not sure, Bob. We're still monitoring everyone and you still have that rising heartbeat issue that we need to take care of," she notes, placing her hands in the pocket of her coat "Why, do you have anywhere else you need to be?"
"No, I just— I'd like to see the city," he answers, that very uncertainty returning to his voice again "I was wondering if you could show me around, cause I didn't have much time to wander before admitting to the lab,"
"Oh," she notes, a little surprised to hear his vulnerable reasoning. With silent steps, she walks closer to him again, smiling as she proposes, "Well, I haven't done much wander myself because we have a lot of things to do here, but.. Why don't we try to get you back in shape as soon as possible, and then we can start our little adventure throughout the city?"
Bob's heart swells in his chest. He was never this happy, never this optimistic about life, and the promise of having something to look forward to. He flew himself to South-East Asia to try on new drugs without a care of how it might affect him because truly, no one ever cared. His mission was just to see this new drug and try it himself, bonus point if he doesn't die in the process. But now that he's met her, now that he's felt how good it is to have someone who cares for him, Bob wonders if he should let himself hope for tomorrow.
"Bob?" she calls softly, snapping him out of his thoughts "Would you like that?"
He nods eagerly, grinning, "I'd love that, yes,"
"Okay, well, it's a date, then,"
—-
Being a doctor for a human test laboratory is certainly different than working for hospitals. Most days, she finds it hard to still call herself "human" after all the experiment she's seen before her very eyes. People would go to extreme lengths just to prove something, disposing of other innocent souls as a cost they're willing to pay.
She's considered to free herself from such occupation. Rebuild a life that is more mundane and ordinary, perhaps to move back to her hometown and build a small clinic there, but if she wasn't here, who would fight for a humane treatment for these poor subjects? Who would spare their own personal time to do research for the new batches of the serums, making and taking more samples before actually injecting them to human beings, if not for her?
"We lost subject SE-37 this morning," Dr. Houston says as they have their morning meeting "It's such a shame, because she was showing great progress up until yesterday,"
"Her name was Grace," she seethe on her seat "Stop calling these people with their serum labels, they have names,"
The rest of the doctors remained quiet, watching her with conflicted expression.
"This is our seventh loss this week," she continues with a heavy sigh, rubbing her temples from the stress "We have more casualty than progress, we have to stop the research for now,"
"But Valentina—,"
"I don't care what Valentina says. She's not here, alright?! She doesn't see these patients wither and die before her own eyes. We're the ones who do, and as much as all of you hate to admit it, I know that it's taking a toll on us. It would be unwise to continue this without a clear and steady head, so we're putting a halt to this project,"
"Until when?" one of them asked.
"Until we know exactly what it is that is failing our patients and found a way to fix it,"
The rest of the doctors shuffled away from the room as they figured their meeting has come to a bitter end. This wouldn't be the first sour argument they witnessed between Dr. Houston and her. She might be the smartest and most brilliant doctor OXE Group has ever employed, but her benevolence often times came first before her duty to the company. That's why Valentina appointed Dr. Houston as her co-chief of research. Houston might not be as smart, but he's experienced and she respects him just enough to not jeopardise the research whenever things went south.
Exactly like how things are looking like right now.
"You're a bright kid," Houston starts when it was just the two of them left in the room "You and Valentina can do great things together, but this compassion.. It's misplaced, right now,"
"Yeah, and who am I supposed to feel more sympathy for? Valentina, because she's lost billions of dollars from this research?" she scoffs "I don't think it's my compassion that is misplaced here—it's your loyalty. You're a doctor, you're sworn to protect your patients,"
"I'm a citizen of this planet first before a doctor, and what we need most now is a protector," Houston argues, his face stern and unwavering "If Project Sentry fails, then we've failed everyone on this planet, not just those we've lost during this research,"
She remained quiet, looking back at him with the same resolute expression.
"We'll take a week of break from taking new patients. Let the doctors calm down as you said, and then we'll start a whole new batch,"
"But—,"
"No buts, I'm trying to save all of our heads here, Kid," Houston cuts in "Now go do your rounds, I'm sure your patients are waiting,"
"Patient, I only have one left," she corrected bitterly.
Dr. Houston kept his silence as she walked out of the room. It was a hard sight for him as well, to see the light dimming out of her this way. Had she worked for a hospital or some ordinary vaccine lab, she would've thrived and helped so many people by now, but OXE Group needs her. If Project Sentry was to ever success, it would need her wit and cleverness, or else they wouldn't even stand a chance on developing anything before the threat comes terrorising the Earth.
—-
"Good morning," Bob greets as she enters his room, his smile wide and blinding "I was wondering where you were,"
"I'm sorry, we had a late running meeting for the doctors," she apologises, sitting on the edge of his bed with a smile that never seemed to reach her eyes "How are we feeling this morning?"
"Great. I've finished my breakfast and I'm feeling real good today," he answers with a beaming smile.
She nods in acknowledgement, starting her assessment with him, "That's good to hear. No more fast heartbeat, yes?"
"Nope, all good,"
Smiling to his respond, she puts down her pad and looks at him closely, "Bob, I need you to promise me something, okay? If you feel anything strange, anything at all, you push that assistance button there and alert me, okay? I don't care if it's 2AM in the morning or if it only feels like a persisting scratch on your back, you tell me right away, okay?"
Bob frowns, trying to digest her insistent words.
"Please, promise me, Bob," she begs, taking his hand to hers and squeezing them gently "You don't have to feel bad if you're not sure about it or if the timing feels a little odd, just alert me at once, okay? And I'll come right back here in an instant, I promise you,"
Bob nods fast, blinking rapidly as he's still fazed from her urgency, but agreed nonetheless, "Of course, I promise,"
"Thank you," she whispers, putting her head down and placing the back of his hand to her forehead "Thank you, Bob,"
Bob watched as her head rests on his hand now. His other hand was itching to pat on her head, maybe run his fingers through the loose strands of her hair that falls out of the hair tie, but he was too scared of over stepping it. He doesn't know what it is that's making her this distraught or how to help her calm down. He's never had anyone to show him how, and the last thing he'd like to do is to make it even worse for her, so he just stayed there, eyes glued to the back of her head and let her have her moment to calm down.
With another squeeze, she finally puts his hand back down, "Alright, then, I'll let you back to rest,"
"I've done nothing but rest these past weeks, honestly," he answers bluntly "I don't think I can rest much more than I already did,"
She smiles, a soft chuckle escapes her lips and it felt like an earthquake to his heart. She looks down to her pad, scrolling through his charts and looking deep into it as if she's debating something in her head.
"You know what, you're right," she says as she puts the pad down "You've been in this bleak room for weeks without any sunlight. Why don't I try to talk with the other doctors to get you an hour or two permission outside of this room? Maybe we can stroll around the building? I hear there's this hawker place nearby that has really good food. Maybe we can go and try something there?"
Bob was unblinking now. Her proposal seems too good to be true, too fast to be offered. He's always thought about going out of this room, feeling the bustling road once again and seeing the people, but he didn't expect it to come this soon. He didn't expect that the date, though he knew it wouldn't be the kind of date he was hoping for, will happen in just mere days. Just how much luck has he scored eversince joining this drug test, honestly?
"I can't promise anything. I have to fight with the other doctors to give you this pass, but I will try," she continues "If you'd like, of course. If you think it's too fast—,"
"Please, I would love that," he says fast "I'd love to get out of this room with you,"
She smiles, this time a little more tender than the usual. She stares deeply into his eyes, looking at this bashful, yet charming man that has been the softest, most gentle soul she's ever come across. She watches as he fidgets a little from the gaze, undoubtedly feeling embarrassed again for no reason, yet she finds it hard to peel her eyes off of him. He was just too beautiful to not be admired at, too endearing for anyone to not fall in love with.
And Lord, she has fallen alright.
"Okay, I'll try and find Dr. Houston right away," she says softly.
Grabbing her pad and standing from her seat, she was about to walk away before Bob grabs her hand again, this time holding it gently and rubbing her skin with his thumb, "Thank you.. For everything,"
Turning her hand so that their fingers could interlock properly, she smiles at him and nods, "Thank you for everything too, Bob,"
—-
Having different style of work has made her and Houston have different labs on different floor of the building. She hardly ever visit his lab as she's the one who's done more progress and he's the one who needs to do the catching up, hence the more frequent visit of him to her lab, so tapping her ID to his now feels a little bizarre. She could still count with one hand the many times she's stepped foot on this floor over the years of them working in this building. She has never had any persisting matter to discuss with him until now, and seeing that the subject would certainly require a little back and forth argument, she reckons it would be best to just come to the old man's lab and bring the topic to his table.
Now that she's here, she observes the contrast difference of her lab compared to Houston's. Houston's lab is cleaned on the counter, stacked of papers placed neatly on the corners, while her's were more cluttered. The only messy part of the lab was Houston's work table, covered in leaves of papers and reports that she couldn't be more careless about.
Until one name caught her eyes: Robert Reynolds.
She picked up the report and began scanning the information. It looked similar to her reports, charts of his biometrics data, and progress through the experiment, but there's a strange folder on the back of this report, banded with a red clip.
"Confidential?" she whispers to herself, wondering why her reports were lacking of this document.
And that's how she found out. How none of the patients could survive the drug. How her samples, despite each success of previous tests, kept on failing on human subjects. How everyone seemed to be reaching their peak before succumbing the very next day with no prior symptoms.
Her serums were altered.
"I'm sorry, Kid," Houston says as he sneaked behind her and knocked her unconscious with a syringe of tranquilliser.
—-
"Good morn— You're not my doctor,"
The man steps closer to Bob's bed. His hand shoved deep in his coat pockets as he introduced himself, "My name is Dr. Houston, I will be taking care of you from now on, Robert,"
"Where is she?" Bob asks for her, calling her name "I don't want a new doctor, I want her,"
"She's.. Unavailable right now, but worry not, she's entrusted me to take care of you," Dr. Houston replies with a small smile "You have nothing to worry about, Robert. You will hardly feel her absence,"
Bob's brows furrow, obviously not welcoming this man, especially with his last words, but he has no other choice but to keep quiet this time, "When will she be back?"
Dr. Houston who was looking at his pad for Bob's charts stopped a little to look away, not meeting Bob's eyes as if he's trying to find the right answer before looking up with another smile, "Your charts are looking very great, Robert—"
"Bob," he cuts in "Just call me, Bob,"
"Bob," Dr. Houston repeats as if he's trying to see how the word lands on his tongue "You're looking very healthy from these charts, Bob. Are you ready for the next step?"
Bob raised an eyebrow, confused, "Next step? What next step?"
"Your exercises," Dr. Houston explains "We've stabilised you for the past weeks from the drug, and it looks like you're ready for our exercises,"
"What kind of exercises?"
"Well, you know, just basic physical exercises, like running, cycling, just the basic cardio for now. We don't want to push you too much, you're our most precious patient,"
Bob could hardly hear the next words Dr. Houston speaks of. The bitterness in his chest grew. He has so many questions, so much confusion as to why she would just leave him without a word, especially after promising to get him that pass to leave the building. He thought that she wanted to escape this room with him, even for just an hour or two. Whatever happened to that promise?
"Tomorrow, the nurse will help you to get to the gym. We'll monitor you throughout the exercise and after that, we'll do some blood test. We haven't done that in a while with you, have we?"
"No," Bob answers "Can I— Can I get out of the room after the blood test? She promised me she'd talk to the other doctors to give me some pass to go outside of this room, has there been any decision for that?"
"Oh, I didn't know we have that discussion, she didn't tell me anything," Dr. Houston says, making Bob's disappointment to grow even bigger "But let me see if I can do anything about that. For now, we just have to make sure that you'll pass the physical exercise tomorrow,"
Bob nods to himself, but his mind is evidently elsewhere. He stared at the wall as Dr. Houston excused himself. The voices in his head were loud now, much louder than they ever did before. The room suddenly feels more chilly, like it was void of life, and the gloomy storm was hovering above his head. He was drowning deeper and deeper into this dread until the glass of water by his side table suddenly broke, shattered to the ground with water pooling the floor.
He reached for the assistance bell. His thumb hesitated to press the button, wondering if he should just wait for the nurse to check in on the next hour to tell about the broken glass, or if he should just press and get it over with. See if she would really come running to him like she promised just the other day.
Everything was just fine, perfect, in fact, yesterday. One minute, she was here, holding his hands and making him feel like he mattered for once, and the next, she disappeared without a goodbye. A little voice in his heart told him that she must have a good reason for this abrupt farewell, but he's lived his whole life being left alone with no closure, no explanation as to why no one ever paid him any regard.
And so he closed his eyes and pressed the button. He kept his eyes shut until someone entered the room, hoping that when he opened them, he would see her standing by his bed and ease his mind like she always would.
"Yes, Bob?" Dr. Houston asked as he peeked in the room through the door "Anything wrong?"
"I— I broke the glass,"
"Ah," Dr. Houston says as he looked at the floor "We'll get someone to clean that up,"
Bob slumps back to his bed as Dr. Houston shuts the door. He pulled his knees close to his chest, hugging them as he felt the loneliness creeping right back up. The last few weeks with her have been so lovely, so full of warmth and love that he forgot how painful it is to be left alone once again. Or perhaps it was the fact that he never knew how it feels like to hope and be let down. He never had the privilege to hold any fraction of faith before. No one ever gave him a reason to have one until she came. Until she gave him the very desire to see the sun rise tomorrow. Until she gave him the very desire to leave this place alive. Until she gave him the very desire to have something more permanent in life.
