[shadowofajedi]

Thought I was getting an early nights sleep. But just woke up and I feel like I’m about to have a panic attack and crash out?

My chest feels heavy but nothing bad has happened?

[shadowofajedi]

I don't think people understand how hurtful friendship break ups are like, like yeah I get sad for a couple of months over a beak up with a guy, might be SUPER sad at the begining, but I kinda lowkey forgot about most of them now and I just look back and laugh. Friendship break ups? I'm still mourning the grief of that and theres too friends that I miss more than anythingggg and I wish I could go back in time and hang out with them. Like fuckkk, one I think about every single day and I haven't seen them in like maybe 5 years? and the other one maybe 4 years now and fuckkkkk I still love them with all my heart and it actually still aches. Like life just isn't the same anymore. I'm kinda scared about getting old and literally having no one.

Super grateful for the friends I still have now and although those two don't hate me, life just isn't the same anymore.

If you are lucky enough to have a bestfriend, please never do anything to lose them. You will regret it and things will never be the same again. Fuck, I am so sad.

[shadowofajedi]

I hate when guys are like “oh so what’s your type?😏😏”

Idk????? Girls????? Literally just girls

[shadowofajedi]

I remembered this one time I was seeing a guy and he didn’t have a job so every time we hung out I would pay which tbh I didn’t mind at the time because I just wanted company but this mf got a job and then said he “couldn’t see me anymore” so I made him transfer me his first paycheck and he did 😂

[cilantrhoes]

[ariaiscursed]

[cocotropic2]

I believe so

[shadowofajedi]

Sometimes I wonder if this guy likes me, but I’ve fallen asleep on him 3 times and twice I think I dribbled. He hasn’t spoken to me about it but still keeps seeing me 😂

[shadowofajedi]

It’s kinda sad how you tell one of your friends something heart breaking you’re currently going through and they reply with “I’m so sorry I don’t know what to say”. Like obviously they can’t fix anything and maybe there really isn’t much to say. But I didn’t expect to be ghosted like this is an “awkward situation for them”. Like how do you think I feel??? This is affecting me personally??? Sorry my “sad” problems made YOU feel awkward?????

Appreciate the two other people I’ve told who have been nothing but supportive throughout this horrible time

[shadowofajedi]

I hate when guys are like “you’re such a baddie” like sir I threw up before leaving my house from anxiety of just leaving the house. The fuck? The only thing I’m bad at is bad at life plz go away

[shadowofajedi]

This year has been absolutely fucked

Not only has there been 5 deaths in my family this year, including my favourite Uncle. Two of my beloved pets have also passed away, literally one passing away yesterday. To the fact where I never ever want another pet ever again.

I also went through a pretty stressful relationship and then a pretty rough break up.

Dealing with my Nan who is getting worse everyday. Life just getting harder and just constant bad thing after another.

Getting a big patch of grey hair

However. Here are a list of things that I am grateful for this year or atleast things that make me happy and forget about the shitty world for a little bit.

My friends from tumblr, literally always being there for me when I need someone and even being able to meet one of them irl this year. (Here’s to hopefully meeting my longest online friend from tumblr next year)

Getting back into Pokemon cards and lowkey just becoming obsessed

Having friends who are also into Pokemon/ lowkey dating someone I can be obsessed with Pokemon cards too

Watching my friends play their games on twitch, literally my favourite wind down time

Healing in the healthiest way from a break up

Planning holidays and adventures for next year

Buying new dresses and clothes

Meeting people irl and they like me

Cooking new recipes and for cooking for 15 people all by myself with no help

And still trying to be happy even when it’s extremely hard

[shadowofajedi]

I don’t think I ever want another animal/ pet ever again. The amount of heartbreak over a death of an animal is actually breaking me

[juniper-petunia]

they should make a version of socializing that doesn’t make you feel like you’re still the weird 12 year old kid that doesn’t know why she’s not normal like the other kids

[shadowofajedi]

Sometimes when I’m out in public I feel I see you, like I genuinely feel I see someone and think is that you? Could that be you? My heart drops because what if it is you.

The days get harder the longer time goes by. I’m starting to forget your face. It’s been 10 years without you and without seeing you. I don’t even know what you look like anymore and you’re my twin brother and we’re near 30. But the last time I saw you we were 18.

Fuck, I miss you so much Jonathan, my brother

[shadowofajedi]

Whenever I start to like a guy I like sit there blushing over there messages. I feel so retarded it’s so embarrassing

[nikigoes]

[videofame]

[important-cat-pics]