Ninjago incorrect quotes I'm having too much fun
Nya: Alright, who’s hogging the Netflix account? I’ve been locked out all week!
Lloyd: Sucks to suck! I’m already on the 8th season of Friends!
Nya: Don’t lie. I know it’s not Jay or Zane.
Kai: It’s not me, really!
Kai: …But it might be Ronin…
Nya: You gave Ronin access to our Netflix account!?!?
Kai: he wanted to watch Orange is the New Black!
Nya: I’m going to kill you.
Nya: *pushed in the cacti display while wandering around the garden section*
Jay: *Shitting in the display toilets*
Kai: *Tokyo Drifting one of those flatbed carts down the aisles*
Lloyd: *Stealing paint chips for aesthetic purposes*
Zane: *Just wanted some goddamn lightbulbs and everyone ruined it*
Cole: *In the car sleeping*
*The team is asked what they would do with 5 children with only 3 chairs.*
Cole: Get two more chairs!
Nya: They can get their own chairs.
Jay: Make them fight for it.
Zane: You only need one chair to beat them all with.
Lloyd: I would never be near children.
Kai, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you.
Nya, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal!
Lloyd, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy.
Cole, gasping: It's Ratatouille!
Jay: His name is Remi, dummy.
Zane: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.
Lloyd: So, did everyone learn their lesson?
Cole: I may have actually forgotten one.
Lloyd: Oh good, neither did I.
Zane: We’re kind of missing something guys.
Nya: A general sense of what we’re doing?
Cole: And Jay is not here.
Kai: I just wanted to join in.
Zane: You know, when Nya comes over, Jay can get a little…
Before Lloyd joins the team
Cole: *helps Zane onto the counter*
Nya: *kicks Kai off the sofa*
Jay: What's worse than a heartbreak?
Nya: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging.
Lloyd: Waking up in the morning.
Kai: Waking up in the morning...
Squad reactions to being called straight:
Kai: The fuck, no I'm not.
Nya: Excuse the hell out of you?
Zane: Ding dong, you are wrong!
Lloyd: Who told you that? And why did they lie?
Cole: *punches the person*
Jay: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase?
Zane: I accidentally fell down.
Cole: KAI PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay THEIR part of our rent!
Nya: Zane bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than they did falling down it, so I slide down the banister to get my money.
Lloyd: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Nya.
*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*
Nya: I will not let you down.
Kai: No, I'm fucking not.
Lloyd: Please god, I am so tired.
*the team at mega monster amusement park, in the teacups*
Jay, Cole, and Zane: *spinning a little and talking*
Nya, Lloyd, and Kai: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*
Cole: If you got arrested what would be the charges?
Nya: Disturbing the peace.
Lloyd: All of the above. In that order, probably.
Nya: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.
Zane: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...
Cole: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.
Lloyd: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.
Kai: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.
Jay: Mental stability, my old friend!
Nya: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?
Cole to Jay, who’s about to get married to Nya: Today, two families are becoming one.
Zane, in an ominous voice: Two families enter, one family leaves.
Kai: That sounds so threatening…
Lloyd: May the bouquet toss be ever in your favor.
Cole: Timer starts now! When are they coming back? I say two months!
Zane: Bullshit. One month.
Jay, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LLOYD JUST DIED!
Kai, scratching chin in thought: One week.
Nya: I’m the smartest person in my friend group.
Kid Lloyd: You hang out with Kai, Cole, Zane, and Jay.
Kid Lloyd: It’s not as high a compliment as you think.
Zane: Throw lamps at people who need to lighten up, and throw handles at someone who needs to get a grip!
Jay: Throw a refrigerator at someone who needs to chill!
Cole: Throw scissors at someone who needs to cut it out!
Kai: Throw a clock at someone who needs to get with the times!
Nya: Throw matches at someone who needs to get fired up!
Lloyd: Throw a brick at someone to kill them.
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Nya: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Lloyd: ...I did. I broke it.
Nya: No. No you didn't. Kai?
Kai: Don't look at me. Look at Zane.
Zane: What?! I didn't break it.
Kai: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Zane: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Cole: If it matters, probably not, but Jay was the last one to use it.
Jay: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Cole: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Jay: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Cole!
Lloyd: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Nya.
Cole: Nya... Kai's been awfully quiet.
*Everyone starts arguing*
Nya, talking to Sensei Wu and Sensei Garmadon: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Nya: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Nya: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
*the team in the bad timeline*
Cole: So what have you been up to recently?
Nya: Leading a revolution with Zane.
Cole: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob.
Nya: *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome!
Cole: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Jay?
Nya: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Lloyd?
Cole: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break them out later. Kai?
Cole: Yeah, that sounds about right.
Zane: Doctor = $140,000 a year, Furry artist on patreon = $160,000 a year.
Lloyd: I think you’re lowballing the furry art amount tbh.
Zane: Sorry for the inaccuracies Doctor Yiff.
Lloyd: No matter how I respond I don’t look well, well played. I walked into that.
Nya: Well, furry artists are typically more competent and courteous than your average doctor, so I can see that.
Zane: Did you legitimately just tell me that a person who draws wolf ass is more competent than a dude who spent 8+ years in an university to give you a lung transplant?
Jay: Doctors are bullshit and furry artists perform an infinitely more valuable service to society compared to them.
Zane: You will die in 7 days.
Kai: It took doctors 10 years to diagnose what was wrong with me, some insisting I was faking it for attention while a furry artist I knew said “Sounds like Crohn’s” after hearing me complain once and ended up being right.
Kai: Besides I can’t go to a doctor and ask them to draw Rouge the Bat wider than she is tall with tits to match, now can I?
Jay: You could if you weren’t a fucking coward.
Cole: This was like 50 consecutive punches to the face, what the fuck went on here.
Jay: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier.
Jay: Violently practices.
Kai: Violently shoots pictures.
Lloyd: Violently murders people.
Nya: Violently worries about the previous statement.
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