They Don't Lie But They Do Shatter

Too Glam to give a Damn

[dirtreally]

[bapouro]

1890s: Suckles your cock sardonically with brevity, and wit.

1900s polishes you off nicely

1910s: nobbles spiffingly

1920s: mm nice whoopee

1930s: finishes you clean-like

1940s: suckles your willy with dignity and valour

1950s tugs you off like a cool cat

1960s: blasts you far out (the tip of your penis)

1970s: funks you real mellow like

1980s: slobs you in a bitchin style

1990s: eats your shorts

2000s: like, sucks ur d man

2010s: sucking mindfully and with swag ..

2020s: Who Knows What The Future Holds....

[dogpuppy]

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

[coughloop]

Wait how the hell does she have two different bangs at once

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

You cannot comprehend the powers of an italian woman from new jersey

[kushblazer666]

[charl0ttan]

[kushblazer666]

[dogpuppy]

[mandywondering]

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

[dietspam16]

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already

[lifenvibe-deactivated20241220]

I’ll eat your pussy for hours, then we’ll order pizza, then I’ll eat your pussy some more

[grimeclown]

What the fuck are we gonna do with the pizza

[naropinosa]

[blowjob-bandit]

Yahoo deletes my porn but leaves me this.

[nickelodeonhistory]

jimmy neutron promotional interruption during spongebob squarepants (2001)

[kideon]

this would fuck me up if i was watching live

[spongebobheritageposts]

date of origin: July 27th, 2017

[theehorsepusssy]

[mantisliberationfront]

I think venus flytraps should be intelligent and ambulatory. I think they should get into the cupboards. I think they should purr when you pet them.

[prismatic-bell]

OP there is an entire Broadway musical explaining why you don’t want that

[bbcwhereareyou]

There’s a Broadway musical about them, too.

[cipheramnesia]

There’s gotta be a better way to learn about things than Broadway musicals.

[staryiu]

uncertain abt where i will be sleeping tonight. ive tucked a smallish dog into my bed. i guess i will curl up in the corner..as an action of love

[orcboxer]

Should go without saying but never date a cop and christ never marry one. Rule of thumb if he's legally untouchable he's ethically unfuckable. You don't like that cop, you like buff men in tight clothing. I can show you more of those, better ones. Take my hand.

[orcboxer]

Hi guys. This post ain't about stereotyping random professions (farriers????), it's about how cops are effectively legally untouchable and if they hurt you, you have virtually no recourse. A quality that none of those other professions have. It's the inherent power imbalance of being bound to someone who can't be prosecuted.

The "firemen cheat" thing is actually a myth, union workers are both hot and professionally stable, paramedics are stressed out but otherwise fine, physical workers are not inferior to "thinkers" don't be fuckin classist, and "watch out for Farriers" is maybe the funniest thing anyone's ever said on this post.

[orcboxer]

like the fuck are they gonna do lmao

[marlinspirkhall]

Having beef with the horse cobbler is objectively hilarious

[kushblazer666]

[dorothylarouge]