FallingIn

I write stories on wattpad and rant on here ~ Shanice ~ 18 ~ "Books fall open, we fall in"

[shanicefelix-blog]

There was a boy. His name was Eric. When we were in elementary school, he only played jump rope with the girls and giggled when he talked. Eric was pretty with red lips and liquid brown eyes. I noticed, but I wasn't like that, so I avoided him. Boys would tease him saying stuff like, "You a fag, Molina? Gonna play with the girls?" Eric would cry and sit by himself on the playground. I want to say I went over and sat with him and told him not to care about what they said; not to take it to heart. . . . .but I didn't. I will be forever ashamed that I let Eric go through that alone. I was eight and just wanted to be part of the crowd. Today, I know that the same crowd that teased Eric, those same people I wanted to be part of, would turn on me and hurt me too. "You a fag, Carmedy? Gonna play with the girls? Wanna suck this?" They found Eric's body behind the football stadium, a baseball bat lying beside him. I'm so sorry, Eric. You didn't deserve that.

Chapter 1 of “Beyond the Rain” by Grasshopper

[shanicefelix-blog]

Classic Books I’ve Never Read (But Would Like To)

“Frankenstein” by Mary Shelley

“Coraline” by Neil Gaiman

“1984″ by George Orwell

“Thus Spoke Zarathustra” by Friedrich Nietzsche

“Jane Eyre” by Charlotte Bronte

“The Cather in the Rye” by J. D. Salinger

“War and Peace” by Leo Tolstoy

“A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens

“Fahrenheit 451″ by Ray Bradbury

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

I think, therefore

[thepaige-turner]

The books we are reading today may be classics in a few years or millenia. We are reading history in the making and that’s both scary and beautiful.

[shanicefelix-blog]

Life and our love for others is a balancing act, I understand then; a dance between our instinct to be safe and hold fast, and our drive to flee, to run - from danger, toward new places to feed ourselves.

“The Nature of Jade” by Deb Caletti

[shanicefelix-blog]

Beyond the Rain - Moodboard

Novel: “Beyond the Rain” by Grasshopper

Platform / Format: Online Story

Genre: Coming of age, coming out, bxb, teen romance

[shanicefelix-blog]

But the one thing my illness did make me realize is how necessary it is to ignore the dangers of living in order to live. And how much trouble you can get into if you can't. We all have to get up every morning and go outside and pretend we aren't going to die... We concentrate on having little thoughts so we don't have BIG THOUGHTS... You've got to convince yourself it's not so bad just so you can leave the house and actually talk to people face to face. You've got to ignore the one big truth -- life is fatal.

“The Nature of Jade” by Deb Caletti

[shanicefelix-blog]

What Remains After Death - An Analysis of “Crush”

I had never had a pet. My brother was allergic to animal fur, so it was never an option before. It was something that had got so engraved into our minds that even with Mikey gone for so long, we had never considered it again.

“Crush” wasn’t big on the death. Not that there’s a right or wrong way to handle death in a novel, but the way Fanquinine handled it in her bxb Wattpad story, was real in every sense of the word.

It worked.

It affected one of the main characters, Danny, in major ways, seeing as it was his brother, Mikey, who passed. But there was never any major crying scenes or breakdowns from either him or his mother in regard to Mikey’s memory. Rather, it was a quiet, sad heaviness that lingered between the pages.

It was gently hinted at. Sorely reminded here and there like an old scar that healed but never faded.

An example of this is the above quotation. Mikey’s remembered in the fact that Danny never considered getting a pet. Nothing flashy. Nothing big just, I never considered this. Because Mikey is... Mikey was allergic. And he couldn’t, so we don’t. And we haven’t for years, it just. Omg. It just T-T

This unique way of handling the situation was possible because the death didn’t happen during the actual events of the book. It happened years prior. But I feel like this style could’ve worked regardless because it really fit Danny’s personality and his family dynamic.

Ugh. It was just heartbreaking. 

And there were more little tidbits here and there that just broke my heart. Like when Danny’s home was described as stuck in time. Pictures that chronicled up until the point where the brother died and then it just stopped. Just like that.

And then when Michael was introducing himself for the first time to Danny, and then Danny just stared at him, frozen. Because Michael was his brother’s name.

Novel: “Crush (boy x boy)” by Fanquinine

Analysis By: Shanice Felix ( F a l l i n g I n ) - Wattpad

[shanicefelix-blog]

You will feel like a hypocrite every time you tell your female friends to just quit the diet and love themselves But then skip meals and count calories yourself That’s okay It’s normal It’s normal to hate yourself for the way you look the marks that grow on you as fast as you seem to grow And you hate that you grow Hate that you grow sideways and not upwards not like a tree but an overgrown bush and you will learn the art of of attempting to trim yourself Trim the rough parts of your branches Trim the unruly hairs that grow over your body You are the card guards from alice in wonderland afraid of what the queen of hearts will do to you What the world will do to you if they see the truth so you paint your white roses red you hide your face Behind the red on your lips And the black on your eyes And you burn your vines the ones that grow from your head until they no longer curl the way they used to they fall flat on the ground like dead leaves and the world whispers to you as you shiver naked and cold against the pavement, “Beautiful” It is normal to hate yourself for who you are To be sick of the way you laugh and the way you walk the way you talk the way you think the way you just can’t shut up And it is normal to hate yourself for the way you love the way you worship or anything else that you do “differently” from everyone else But it is also normal To love yourself too Even if you hate yourself at the same time You are strong enough to fall apart and look like you have it all together So you can love and hate yourself at the same time One does not mean the absence of the other Opposites are normal Hate the hairs that grow on your leg And rip them off if you must But run your hands against them first remember they were put there to keep your ancestors that did not have sweaters and homes warm and they can be soft or prickly or temperamental just like you but they hold you all the same, as you hold them To cut them And they come back even when you disown them Like the leaves on a tree That come back when it is their time As it is yours And that is normal

“On Hating Yourself: For Girls” by Shanice Felix ( f a l l i n g i n ) 

[shanicefelix-blog]

Why couldn't  he remember to give them water before he went away? ...Maybe his therapist had a point when telling him not to get a pet before being able to keep a plant alive for a year--but Tristan didn't want plants, he wanted men.

Oh No, Not Again... (Miserable Tales) by Ofelia Grand

[shanicefelix-blog]

I Tempted Him With a Kiss - Moodboard

Novel: “I Tempted Him With A Kiss ;) (BoyxBoy Romance)” by xxWhoAteMyCookiexx

Platform / Format: Wattpad / Online Stories

Genre: boyxboy, romance, multiple love interests

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

[shanicefelix-blog]

Walking on the sand beside Danny: something so simple, yet so awesome.

Chapter 6 of “Crush (boy x boy)” by Fanquinine

[shanicefelix-blog]

Kiss of Death - Moodboard

Novel: “Kiss of Death (The Briar Creek Vampires)” by Jody and Jayme Morse

Platform: Published novel

Genre: vampire, teen / YA romance, murder mystery (ish)

[shanicefelix-blog]

I was sulking. Michael was nowhere to be seen, and I had spent the last hour or so looking around for him. We had not arranged a meeting or anything but the truth was, I was here, in a place I hated, because he had said he would be too.

Chapter 2 of “Crush (boy x boy)” by Fanquinine

[shanicefelix-blog]

Let love be love Let it splash across your face like cold water at an amusement park On a hot day Let it slip and slide across you and turn you and whirl you like a roller coaster Like a roundabout Like the warmth of two soft hands Rough hands Big hands Small hands Barely illuminated in the dusk And the night lights Holding onto you as you spin and spin and spin Screaming And laughing Let it drench you Like a cannonball dive into the deep end Choke on it Lose your breath and never catch it Chase it and chase it... And never stop chasing it Whether it is someone else's hand you're holding onto Or your own Let love be love, be love be love my friend, and love on

“Let Love be Love, Be Love” by Shanice Felix ( F a l l i n g I n )

[shanicefelix-blog]

Before anytime I looked at her, she was busy… Now she sat still, staring blankly out the window. The headphones that used to permanently hang around her neck were nowhere to be seen and her lunch lay pretty much untouched in front of her. She had never looked lonely before but now with no work surrounding her, I noticed the empty chairs around the table.

“Loving Silently (GirlxGirl)” by MaxLostInThought