leaves, swings, and angel wings

just another fan blog

[shara-i]

rewatching The Scene from laz rising is crazy now because they don’t know! dean stabs castiel and he doesn’t know that he’s going to fall in love with him. that he’s going to tear through purgatory for him. that he’s going to get down on his knees to plead with him, many times. that they’re going to be married, and divorced, and together, and apart. that they’re going to Feel things they’ve never felt before. neither of them know how this meeting will change them both forever

[destielficarchive]

Deletion Notice: deathbanjo

The author deathbanjo, who has also gone by the usernames tumbleweeds, beenghosting, and loneprairies, has deleted their AO3 account and all 8 Destiel works they wrote. I've poked around their fics and the social media links I know of; they don't appear to have anything but Tumblr, and both their old accounts are dead - @beenghosting is a spam account now, and @deathbanjo is empty.

Their 8 stories are:

Architecture of the Minotaur's Heart

Bring Up the Deep

Out to Drift

Past Due for a Harvest

The Best Bang for Your Buck

The Taste of Gravel in the Mouth

Till the Juice Runs

Where the Weeds Take Root

I have PDFs of all 8 of these titles, but ideally I'd like to find out more information before I offer to distribute. I've poked through their works and they mention a few people whose names I recognize - @purgatory-jar, @domesticadventures, @xylodemon, and @hellosaidthemoon-isafangirl - if any of them, or anyone else, has a way of finding out deathbanjo's preferences and/or directing them my way so I can ascertain how they feel about my giving out the PDFs, I'd really appreciate the help bringing their attention to this.

I've formerly given one week before I did distribution, but based on how somethings have gone of late, I'm going to switch it to one month (so, I'll potentially start distribution on December 29th, 2021, if I don't hear anything, or sooner if I hear it's okay, or never if I hear it's not okay), and I'd appreciate help boosting this post in the hopes that someone who knows more about what's going on might actually see it. I never want to give out PDFs if it's not what the author would prefer.

Even if I haven't heard by 12/29, if I hear any time subsequently that they'd prefer that e-book copies not be shared, I will immediately cease distribution.

Thanks in advance, everyone. I really hope we can get more info, and I'm personally grieved by this one too - "Architecture of the Minotaur's Heart" is easily one of the best fics I've ever read.

[skepticalfrog]

im sorry to speak on dmitri but imagine trying to work through this vibe imagine trying to deliver a gay love confession in this environment

[cat-peach]

https://privatter.net/i/6255716

password is jared

[shara-i]

supernatural is a cop show

[shara-i]

my only opinion about the misha poetry book is that i wish he had chosen an independent publishing house and indie booksellers. Maybe he could have put it on amazon after the first few months. The sheer number of orders he is getting as a result of his fame would have done a lot to lift up an small business.

[shara-i]

Dean/Cas fic, explicit, 2309 words

Three Proofs

He trails his hand across Dean’s chest toward his shoulder. And here is where the brand remains on Dean's soul, where Castiel had been forced to grip him, when Dean had fought him during his own rescue, full of grief and anger and confusion. Castiel had healed the outer scar, but the mark will remain a part of Dean forever.

"What are you doing?" Dean asks him, and licks his lips.

Castiel watches the path of Dean’s tongue as it darts out over the supple curve of his lip, and he is suddenly ravenous. He pushes himself up Dean's body and kisses him, wants to devour him.

[shara-i]

Misha saying he only started playing Cas as being in love with Dean in season 15 is crazy because what was happening the other 10 seasons?? And what has Jensen been doing this whole time? Hello??

[shara-i]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

“You’re not well, Dean,” Cas said, his voice deep with concern. He paused, and then said, “I can’t find anything wrong with you.”

Dean laughed hollowly and gripped Cas’ wrist, keeping it pressed against his skin. “Maybe I do need to eat more vegetables,” he said, and was rewarded by Cas running a gentle hand through his hair.

He wiped his mouth with his sleeve and accepted Cas’ help up. He took the dirty flannel off and threw it into the backseat as Cas looked at him searchingly. Sometimes when Cas looked at him like this, he remembered that first year when Cas would get in his space and stare at him all the time, when Dean’s heart would pound just from proximity.

He’d spent that whole year with his world falling apart, his worst fears confirmed, Sam pulling away from him day by day, getting pushed around like a pawn by every side, his body, his mind, being claimed for righteous sacrifice. And then there had been Cas. Who had listened to Dean in the end, and when he had come into the Beautiful Room to release him, he had chosen not to press a knife into Dean’s arm, but into his own.

“Don’t worry, I’m good,” he said, with years of practice. “I feel better already.”

--------------------

7,736 words. Explicit.

[winchester-reload]

Day 9: Baby

Doing this thing

[tenco]

Poor cats

[tvxcue]

and like it’s kind of annoying at this point when people go on abt the cowboy in spn, especially when they discuss dean (and sometimes sam) as the cowboy, bc it’s almost always from a stance of the cowboy as a person outside normative society/relationships which leads to queer readings and sure those can be fun but the winchesters are the clint eastwood cowboy, they ride out to secure safety for the white norms they are “outside” of which means they have to be a part of these norms and this society, even if tangentially. spn’s “road” is not a queer narrative, it’s a tool of colonialism and racism.

[charlie-bradcherry]

Papa Winchester (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ [13.03]

[bbelatalbotarchive]

kevin’s message in the great escapist (8x21)

[ramielcoded]

im sorry maybe i wasn't clear enough: the gayness is NOT the most prevalent theme on the white men shooting people they deem less than human and facing no consequences for it show so it's NOT surprising that right leaning people like it

[impostoradult]

So there's this academic Dannagal G Young, who studies liberal and conservative news media, and why they have such different aesthetics. (her book on the topic)

One of the key differences between liberal and conservative media is liberals have a much strong appetite for satire, irony, and humor, while conservatives have a much stronger appetite for outrage-inducing content.

Young (who is a psychologist/social scientist by training) argues that one of the key psychological traits that commonly divides liberal and conservative people is liberal people are typically okay with and even enjoy ambiguity to a much higher degree than conservatives, while conservatives crave clarity and closure, and see the world as inherently dangerous and threatening, in a way liberals typically don't. (This pattern has been affirmed by a great deal of social psychology)

From her TEDtalk on this topic (starts at roughly 4:00):

"Because they [Liberals] are tolerant of ambiguity, they also tend to be OK with nuance, and they enjoy thinking for the sake of thinking. Which helps explain why it is that there are distinct aesthetic preferences on the left and the right, with liberals more likely than conservatives to appreciate things like abstract art, or even stories that lack a clear ending...these differences help explain why ironic political satire is more likely to be appreciated and understood by liberals than conservatives. On the other hand, those people who are monitoring for threats, who prefer certainty and closure, those tend to be our political, social, cultural conservatives....And we've found that these traits help explain why conservatives enjoy political opinion talk programming that clearly and efficiently identifies threats and enemies."

Hmmmmm....let's think why Supernatural might the most perfect blend of these liberal and conservative aesthetics.

This tolerance for ambiguity, and enjoyment in thinking for the sake of thinking is a trait that makes one very predisposed to key into things like symbolism, subtext, textual paralleling, foreshadowing and call-backs, literary references, and so on in media. In my life, I have never encountered a show with as much of this type of content as SPN has.

Whereas conservatives tend to key into media at the most surface level and to respond strongly to storytelling like police procedurals where there is a distinct threat that is identified, and ultimately eliminated, with a satisfying, clear conclusion. The MOTW structure is perfectly designed to speak to that element of conservative aesthetic taste.

But while conservatives watch Supernatural and think the "white men shooting people they deem less than human and facing no consequences for it" is all there is to the show, liberals take that aspect of it and read it in conjunction with the show's subtext, symbolism and so on.

If you asked me what Supernatural was 'about' in a sentence or two, I would say it was commentary on the unique structure and anxieties of violent conventional white American masculinity.

The question with Supernatural was always - is this a deconstruction of/commentary on violent white American masculinity, or is it just an unself-aware reiteration of it? From a literary point of view, the intense homoeroticism acted as the most clear fulcrum on which one would eventually discover if conventional white American masculinity was ultimately being upheld or deconstructed here.

(In key Supernatural fashion, we never really found out because Dean never is 'allowed' to address his feelings for Cas post-confession. Which I guess means no...)

But anyway, I think it is useful to think about Supernatural's appeal across the liberal/conservative divide within this larger body of academic work. It illuminates a lot, I think.

[werepires]

in hindsight I probably should have made dean hold the mixtape . it’s been almost 2 years since the last one but the shitty romance novel covers are back! (here is part 1)

[shara-i]

I know andrew dabb meant for the "Cas helped" line to be something positive for the fans (and it did make me happy that Cas was alive), but in the context of Dean's grief in 15x18 and 15x19, it's really very cruel. What are we supposed to take from it? Cas was around but he didn't let Dean know? Dean has spent the last six months thinking he had lost Cas forever? It turns the situation into another lie Cas tells Dean, another little betrayal, instead of a heartfelt reunion.