shark // she/they i think // dont do those ask-tag games, but y'all are free to ask me anything else! there is a 99% chance I'll answer! (however long that takes) // only posting when im hyperfocusing on tcw (maybe on day i'll have the courage to post stories from other fandoms)
Going to the barracks and falling asleep in a vodpile sounded like the best idea Fox has had for a while now.
His entire body ached, his feet were going numb, and his eyes haven’t opened for longer than 4 seconds for the sixth time now. He was pretty sure the shinies standing guard with him were already dozing off on their feet.
Standing up on his tiptoes and falling to the balls of his feet, he repeated the movement until he was a little bit more awake and shook his head inconspicuously.
Looking at the clock on his HUD screen, he let out a sigh. Only 30 more minutes until his shift ended and he could go to sleep. Kriff the flimsiwork he still had to do, he hasn’t slept for what fells like three weeks now.
Fox cleared his throat and the two shinies instantly stood up from their slight slouch and looked at him. Good, they were getting the hang out of it.
He shifted to the commlink between them and said “Hold on just a little longer. Only thirty more minutes.” If he sounded a little softer than expected, they didn’t call him out on it.
For the next ten minutes nothing special happened. The route they patrolled was almost over. The bright lights of the senate district hurting their eyes even through the protective filter in their helmet. The fountain that was always on sounded way too loud for the late hours of midnight. His shinies certainly weren’t used to the late hours after such a long day, their feet were starting to drag again.
Fox stopped again. He seriously thought about the repercussion of ending their patrol a little earlier.
Looking around and finding nothing the trio continued on their way.
Hiding a yawn and blinking the tears out of his eyes, he almost missed the shadow looking straight at them from the mouth of an alley.
Almost.
He came to a stop instantly, the shinies behind him almost walking into his back, before realizing what was happening. “Yeah”, Fox decided, “those shinies really aren’t used to these hours yet.”
Looking closer, Fox could make out the shadow’s height. If he stood next to the little one, they would barely even make it to his waist.
With a few hand signs, Fox signaled his men to stay where they were, and he made his way slowly to the little shadow.
The closer he got, the more he could make out. It seemed the shadow was a little tolothian girl, barely older than five or six years old. Her clothes a little dirty, but overall, in good shape and she didn’t seem hurt or unhealthy in any other way.
She shrinked away from him, hiding half of her face behind the wall, but when he got to his knees and took off his helmet to lay it next to his thighs, her eyes shone a little brighter and she hid her face a little less.
“Hey there little one”, Fox tried for a little smile and a welcome expression on his face, but he really wasn’t sure how well that came out with how sleep deprived he usually looked.
But by some miracle, she didn’t seem to be afraid and instead almost walked entirely away from her little hiding spot in the shadows into the lights on the streetlamps.
Fox got a shy “hi” back.
“I’m Commander Fox, little one. If you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing out here? And in the middle of the night? Shouldn’t such a little fellow like you be in bed?”, once again Fox went for what he hoped to the force was a warm tone, but who knows how well that came out.
But it seemed like he was in luck for once in his force-forsaken life.
The little girl let out a giggle and walked over to him, her face lighting up and she smiled so wide, her face should’ve split.
“You’re Commander Fox!”, she seemed to shriek in delight and practically fell into him as she threw her arms around his neck.
It wasn’t the first time Fox came into contact with cadets from natborns, often had to hold them as he shielded them. But never before had one so openly jumped in delight after seeing him. And Fox wasn’t proud to admit he didn’t know what to do in that moment.
Hesitantly, he looped his arms around the little Tolothian and patted her on the back. Awkwardly. If his batchmates were here to see that, they would’ve laughed their asses off, but jokes on them, they never had to deal with things like this even on the frontlines.
Apparently, the girl didn’t seem to realize it. She just happily backed away from him and started rambling a mile in a minute, leaving Fox to only stare at her with a lost look on his face, since he didn’t understand a single word she was saying, barely making out what seemed like the name “Yorran”.
Finally, when it seemed like she stopped for long enough for Fox to ask her again what she was doing here, she grabbed his hand and started tugging him into the direction she apparently came from, pointing into that direction with big eyes and an even bigger smile.
Helplessly lost, he had no choice but scoop up his helmet with one hand and follow her.
They barely made a few meters when he heard hurried footsteps and harried breathing.
Turning around he saw an older Tolothian barely older than 20 running straight at them, almost tripping over their feet when they saw the little girl of their own species.
“Ada!”
Ahh, so that was the little Tolothian’s name.
Ada turned around and looked around Fox, immediately letting go of his hand and running up to the other one, all the while screaming “Yorran!”
Yorran collapsed to their knees, arms coming up around little Ada and holding her close to their body.
They were whispering to each other, Ada pointing at Fox with one chubby finger, while Yorran’s face seemed to go through all the five stages of grief.
Sharing a quick look with his shinies that were still positioned where he left them, tiredness exchanged for interested delight, he made his way to the two Tolothians.
Ada had her back turned to him, but Yorran saw him walking up to them, standing up quickly with a red face and Ada tucked against their hip, who had their arms around Yorran’s neck.
The moment he was close enough, the older Tolothian seemed like they couldn’t stop apologizing, bowing and rambling with a red face.
Unfortunately, that helped Fox in absolutely no way.
“Uhm- Yorran, correct?”, Fox stuttered out in between Yorran taking in a deep breath. Hey shot up so quickly, Fox was surprised they didn’t get whiplash.
“Oh! Um, yes. Yorran! Yes, that’s my name! I’m Yorran, and Ada here”, as the name was mentioned, Yorran looked down at Ada and shook her a little, “she’s my little sister.”
Ada let out another giggle and Yorran smiled softy down at her. Still not looking up, they continued: “Our parents are dead, and I have to look after her, she’s the only family I have left. I swear I started crying when I didn’t find her in her bed.”
“So, uhm. Thank you. For finding her”, Yorran continued and looked up at him, giving him a grateful smile.
But it seemed little Ada wasn’t happy with that, and she immediately withdrew her face from her sibling’s neck to pout at the both of them. “Hey! I found him, he didn’t do anything except walk around and fall asleep!”
Words couldn’t describe how horrified Fox felt at having a literal child realize he was falling asleep on his feet while he was on duty.
Yorran, on the other hand, didn’t seem to realize that that could lead straight back to Kamino and instead started arguing with their younger sister.
“Well Ada, that doesn’t matter anyway. What matters is what in the world made you think it was a good idea to run away?”
As a response, Ada grumbled, still pouting: “You were talking about him again all throughout dinner and when I saw him out here, I thought I could bring him to you so you can finally meet him face to face!”
Yorran rapidly began blushing again, while scolding Ada on not running away, steadily ignoring the commander next to them having another breakdown at the thought of someone talking about him during dinner.
Finally, it seemed Ada and Yorran were done arguing and Yorran turned back to Fox.
“Thank you, Commander Fox. Again. For looking out for Ada”, they sighed, and Fox simply nodded back at them.
Ada, on the other hand, didn’t seem happy with that, and smacked her sibling on the cheek and whisper-screamed “do it!”, to which Yorran simply chuckled and rolled their eyes, putting Ada back on the ground.
Looking him up and down, they let a smirk overcome their features, lifted one eyebrow and cocked their hip out to side. Bending at the waist they took Fox’ hand not holding his helmet -and why has he still not put his helmet back on his head? He doesn’t want to know how his facial expressions looked throughout their entire conversation and for what was about to happen- and lifted it to their mouth and kissed the back of his hand.
“Are you todays date? Because you are a ten from ten”, then Yorran winked and walked away with a giggling Ada back in their arms and looking over their shoulder, waving goodbye.
This day really could not have gone any weirder.
Still struck by what had just happened, he lifted his hand back, not letting them out of his shocked sight until they turned a corner.
“Huh.”
As he heard plastoid walking up to him, he turned around slowly to look at his shinies, who looked just as lost as he felt.
“Uhm, Commander- “
“Yes?”
“Our designation number isn’t public, right?”
“To them? No.”
“So, how did they know? Your number, I mean.”
“I think it’s a pick-up line, vod”, he other shiny chimed in.
“A pick-up line?”
“A pick-up line.”
Fox let out a long-suffering sigh, put his helmet back on and instantly froze.
“Uhm, Commander-”
“10 more fucking minutes”
“…What?
“Our shift lasts another 10 minutes.”
“Do we- do we continue, or-?”
“No.”
And just like that, he made his way to the barracks, the shinies scrambling to go after him.
Scratch what he said twenty minutes ago. Being asleep in a vodpile has now never sounded better than ever before.
Here’s the thing. No matter how close you are growing up with your siblings, despite your bond sufficing through different opinions and actions, not matter the love you felt for them and how deep it was ingrained, no matter how much it made you yourself -how much it was coded into you- there will always be some things breaking that bond.
Whether that was different ideals, believes, actions or even orders.
(Help, help, somebody PLeaSe heLP ME, i doN’t kNow WhAt to do DO, WHAT ISHAPPENING TO ME, SOMEBODY HELP ME, PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLE-)
So, no matter how much it hurt Fox, -no matter how much it chipped away at his own person until it broke him and left him an empty shell, not even a whisper of his old and own person residing-, he was absolutely not surprised when it happened to him.
Life always found a way to come back to him.
Fox realized that very early in his life and was constantly reminded of that fact.
And no matter how much it absolutely destroyed Fox, he knew it would happen and he was not even a single bit surprised.
Chancellor Palpatine found him on a roof. Because where else could he have been?
Many believe that to be a sign. A symbol. That something bad was about to happen. That he could make one wrong move and tumble over the edge.
But the Chancellor knew him well enough to know that wasn’t going to happen.
The Coruscant Guard might have been reduced to nothing but lap dogs for the senators in the eyes of the public and the GAR, but they still did what they were originally supposed to be doing on Coruscant -keeping the plant and its inhabitants safe. And while being in broad daylight worked in daylight, during night it was a different game. One played by the guard and consisting of jumping off high platforms and swinging between building.
So yes, the Coruscant Guard was never immediately on high alert if they saw one of their own on the edge of a high platform, like a roof for example. Every Guard knew how to act if something bad were to happen. If they were ever to tumble over the edge.
Perhaps it helped that Fox wasn’t standing, but instead sitting with his legs dangling over the edge and repeatedly hitting the wall behind with the other foot every hit.
Perhaps it was helping that Fox wasn’t holding any kind of beverage and instead had his hands lose in his lap and with no bottle on either side of him.
Perhaps it helped that Fox was one of the best. Had been swinging between these very buildings since he first laid eyes on them. One of the most highly decorated soldiers in the entire GAR.
Perhaps it was the way his muscles didn’t seem to be flexing, building up for the moment the constant tension could finally be let lose, and instead looked, for the first time in what seemed like forever, relaxed.
Or not relaxed- outwardly perhaps he seemed like it, when internally he actually was numb.
“You want to know why I’m not crying?”, the silence had been stretching for far too long between the two. Long enough for Palpatine to rethink his decision, now however, it seemed like he chose the right time.
The thing is, Fox knew it would happen.
He knew since the beginning of the war, where he was the only one of his squad to be assigned to stay on Coruscant. On Coruscant where he was doomed to watch his loved ones die and not be able to do anything about it. On Coruscant where he was doomed by behing held captive against his own will and knowledge-
(whY is he sO ALONE???)
-On Coruscant where he was doomed to become someone he wasn’t-
(Oh, force, whY Won’T soMEonE COmE AND SAVE ME???)
-Where he was doomed to realized his family was leaving him, their faces turned away from him so he couldn’t see their disgust, pain, betrayal, shame, numbness or passiveness on it.
One by one, his family left him. First the younger cadets looking up at him, then his trainers, then his batchmates, then his very own Guard and then his fellow Guard Commanders.
One by one they died.
One by one they turned their backs on him. And he let it happen, didn’t stop it because he did the same to them.
And it hurt.
Oh, how it hurt and destroyed him from the inside out. That the only reason he was even still fighting this warm was leaving him, like he had left them.
That his family was gone and he was alone.
And even if it hurt so much he could barely make it out of his own bed at times, he had not been surprised at the slightest to see it start to happen.
“My family has left me. I’m all alone. I should be crying. But I’m not”, the clone’s face has been looking up the whole time, unseeing. His eyes busy watching memories and past actions.
“You don’t even care. You’re only here because you are the only one still looking for me, even if your reason is anything but moral..”
Palpatine stayed quiet.
“I have lost everything and I’m not even crying a single, kriffin’ tear”, Palpatine wasn’t even sure if he was supposed to have heard that, with how quietly it was whispered.
It hurt, but it was not surprising.
After all the hurt he put his family through, after all the broken promises and forgotten reunions and eft alone brothers and murdered brothers-
Without much flair, the clone stood up. It stood there, on the edge of the roof just staring up, and turned just the slightest bit.
If Palpatine had a caring heart and the clone were more than just a clone -if it were an actual human being- the next words would have made him feel at least something. A tug at his heartstrings, a burning behind his eyes, a jab at his heart or even a problem with breathing. Anything.
But as it was, the clone was all it was -a clone- and Palpatine was only here to make sure his plan didn’t go down in flames.
Which was why the next matter-of-fact said words -quiet, small and empty-
“I knew it would happen”
-directed at the night sky a couple of levels higher up but getting caught in the pollution of lower levels- only made him feel irritation.
But the clone only shouldered its way past Palpatine, down the stairways and to his bike to get back to his office where he would be alone again.
Fox remembered how in the beginning he thought that maybe they would just ignore him for a short while. But that changed and the though he would be replaced.
And then his batchmates stayed only professional with him if they were together, never mentioned him to others, acted if he were nothing more but air otherwise, stopped trying to get him away from his early death by flimsiwork.
And then he realized they didn’t want anything to do with him anymore.
Fox was already feeling empty enough to know it was only a matter of time.
If Fox would have turned around he would have seen the Chancellor in all of his robed and hidden glory silently watching him leave. Would have seen the way the corners pf his mouth turned up ever so slightly to reveal a smirk and a whispered “tomorrow”.
CC-1010 was aware that that was unnatural for clone troopers. He was aware that if he as much as breathed a word or thought loud enough about it, he’d be dead.
And yet, even if he wished not to, CC-1010 dreamed.
It was one of the things that distanced him from his own.
Not that they realized it.
CC-1010 did as many things as he could to not think about what his mind was up to while he was asleep. Normally, that worked rather well, his whole day and night was in a tight schedule, one that could not afford any dallying. It worked for him because it kept both his mind and body awake enough to be exhausted when it was time to sleep.
That meant that normally CC-1010 wouldn’t think about wat his mind came up with at night while working.
But that was rather hard when the sole focus of one’s many confusing dreams was standing only a few meters away.
So yes, CC-1010 couldn’t really understand anything that happened after he laid his eyes upon the answer to his dreams.
Everything sounded like he was underwater, everything that wasn’t in his tunnel vision was blurry, everything happening that didn’t have anything to do with the man that had CC-1010’s entire focus wasn’t comprehending.
Quite understandably so -if one were to ask CC-1010- since the instant CC-1010 became aware of the jedi, broken memories and distant dreams started connecting and making sense.
Ever since the fateful order a few years back, jedis -trained and grown up in the temple jedis- were rare.
Rarer than practically anything else in the galaxy.
Even before the empire had risen, CC-1010 had rarely seen jedis. Only in meetings or walking by -or in the senate building, in your office, in a bar, in your free-time--
CC-1010 didn’t work with jedis. It hadn’t been in his job description, despite that it actually had.
And yet, seeing the man block and redirect blaster bolt after blaster bolt with his green lightsaber, light swirling together and sound almost drowning in the chaos.
And yet, seeing that man made CC-1010 pause.
And yet, seeing that man reminded CC-1010 of someone.
Being closer to the jedi that at the beginning of the fight allowed CC-1010 to look at him closer.
He had his back turned to him, but not a single blaster bolt from any direction seemed to even graze him. Some indescribable part in the back of his mind whispered to him to run his fingers along that muscular back and arms.
The man’s hair was flailing around his head. Some indescribable part in the back of his mind whispered to him brush that hair behind his ears.
CC-1010 couldn’t wallow on those thoughts for long as the man turned, so that the side of his face was visible. Some indescribable part in the back of his mind whispered to him to trace golden tattoos on the man’s face.
And as the man fully turned to them, some indescribable part in the back of his mind whispered to him to give those beautiful eyes -once so loving and warm, now cold, angry and hurt, but simultaneously so closed-off- a little of their spark back.
A sudden shaking of the ground lurched CC-1010 out of his mind and back to the present. Around him the screaming only got louder, the jedi attacking more ferociously. He obviously had something on his mind.
CC-1010 theory got proven right when out of nowhere the jedi jumped a few feet into the air and landed further away.
But none of the troopers let him get away.
CC-1010 ran along with the troops, blaster held tight in his hand with a white-knuckled grip. But unlike the others, he didn’t shoot.
If one were to ask him why, CC-1010 couldn’t give an answer. It was as if the hand of a ghost was holding him back.
The sudden feeling of trepidation made CC-1010 skid to a stop and hide behind a few metal crates.
Just in time as a wave of power forces all the other troopers to fall back, hurling against walls of buildings, skidding over the concrete or into metal canisters.
Chasing after jedis in the coruscanti underworld had always been an adventure.
Apparently, everyone had been knocked unconscious. Everyone except CC-1010, of course. Which meant it was up to him alone to stop the jedi.
With a flourish only years of doing the same movement allowed, CC-1010 stepped around the canister and steadied his blaster on the jedi.
The aim was perfect and neither his arms nor hands shook. Incredible, for the less than five seconds he used for that move.
The clicking of the safety turning of was what made the jedi aware of his presence, CC-1010 catching him of guard.
In the end, CC-1010 didn’t know why he didn’t shoot the jedi right then and there.
Maybe it was the jedi’s eyes on him -the laser sharp focus of a creature capable of killing him under less than a second trained on him.
Maybe it was the jedi’s reaction -eyes widening in disbelief.
Maybe it was the chill CC-1010 felt creeping up his spine from the jedi’s eyes on him.
Maybe it was the almost hopeful sounding, breaking on the word “Fox?” garbling its way out of the jedi’s mouth. Maybe it was the accompanied screaming breaking out in the shattered part buried deep in his mind.
Maybe it was one of those, maybe all of them, maybe none of them.
What mattered was the warning shout of a man that lost everything long before he even knew it.
What mattered was the “Leave!” that Fox cried out, the jedi not having it -breaths shaking and eyes open wide, head shaking in denial- before miraculously listening and leaving.
What mattered was the one miniscule moment CC-1010 lost control.
What mattered was that CC-1010 let the jedi flee. What mattered was that Fox let his heart leave.
To say Monnk loved his missions would be a lie. But so would be saying he hated them. He enjoyed them, he really did. But like everything, there were disadvantages.
And sometimes, he was just too tired to deal with everything that came after.
Monnk made his way to his room, his heavy eyelids falling shut on their own accord too often.
Coming to a stop in front of his room, he yawned before opening it and going straight to the fresher, leaving his armor and blacks in a track.
After he finished showering and put all his stuff back, he blindly grabbed for his brush. Squinting his eyes open, he stared at himself in the mirror.
Raising his brush slowly, his hand practically fell on his head, the brush tumbling its way down the back of his head.
With a heavy sigh, Monnk lifted his hand again,
Or at least tried to.
The mission had been hard. Too long and too much destruction. All Monnk had wanted to do after finishing the mission was to fall into his bed. But that wouldn’t happen until he brushed his hair.
But he was just so tired.
Fortunately for him, his decision was taken out of his hands. Quite literally as well.
Monnk heard a knock on his door, but didn’t had any energy left except to lift his head a tiny amount and keep his eyes open.
“Monnk?”, and there came the familiar voice of his general. Just what he needed for tonight.
Quickly waking himself up, he put his brush on the sink and walked out of the fresher.
Coming face to face with Kit Fisto, Monnk saluted him, “General.”
“At ease, commander”, Fisto waved his hand in a dismissive motion, “I came to you tonight as a friend.”
Monnk stared at Fisto.
Their relationship outside of work was something Monnk still struggled to explain to his batchmates. It was different -but not in a bad way. Monk could be just himself then, without putting his commander front up -or at least, to some margin.
He enjoyed his general’s presence. But when it was time for sleep, they always went their separate ways.
Unlike now, apparently.
“Well then. How can I help you?”, Monnk cocked his head to the side. Almost like an afterthought he added “Kit?”.
At that, Fisto smiled his blinding trademarks smile.
“I was hoping I could enjoy your presence this lovely night.”
Fisto wasn’t wrong about it being a lovely night. It was quieting down, most of the vode already asleep. However, the view was the same as always, when one is traveling at the speed of light.
Monnk raised a judgmental brow.
Fisto’s smile wavered a bit.
It never sat right with Monnk to see that smile grumbling off the handsome face. Especially when it was because of him.
But before he could say anything, his general beat him to it.
“You caught me. It was mostly a cover to make sure you are alright. I did see you getting attacked, but unfortunately couldn’t talk to you after. But I do want to spend my night with you”, he chuckled at the beginning, but quickly got serious.
His general was now staring Monnk in the eyes, expecting an answer.
Since it now was so quiet, Monnk started to feel his tiredness creep up again. But he didn’t want to say no to Fisto.
Sighing, Monnk answered, “I’m alright, Kit. I was about to head to bed, but you can still come in and talk with me for a while.”
He hoped he gave Fisto a reassuring smile, but it felt more nervous than anything else.
A that, Fisto looked concerned.
“If you say so. But please, tell me when you want me to leave.”
Monnk gave a tired chuckle. He wasn’t so sure if he would. On one hand, Fisto was still his superior and a jedi, which meant telling him to leave -or just whatever he wanted to in general- still felt weird. On the other hand, he genuinely didn’t want Kit to leave in the first place -his presence was calming.
He left the door open and walked into the fresher, hearing the door closing and quiet footsteps follow him.
The footsteps stopped and when Monnk looked in the mirror, he saw his general sitting on his bed, slightly grimacing as nothing happened to the mattress when he sat down.
Monnk chuckled.
His general’s eyes locked onto his in the mirror in a heartbeat. Big and dark, entire galaxies could be seen in them.
Feeling a blush creeping up his neck and face, Monnk gulped and teared his eyes away and focused back on his task at hand.
Right, brushing his hair.
With a heavy hand he took a hold of his brush, but instead of raising it to his head, he just stared at it.
Apparently for much longer than he assumed, as suddenly Fisto’s hands were engulfing his own and a concerned face peered down at him.
“Monnk? Are you sure you’re alright?”, Kit murmured in a quiet tone, his eyes large in worry.
“M’m. M’ j’s’ t’r’d”, Monnk’s eyes slowly fell shut, his heavy head falling to the side, only to be stopped by Fisto’s chest.
“Then it is time to go to bed. C’mon.”
Fisto already put the brush back on the sink and now held his commander’s hands in his own again, ready to lead him to his bed.
But Monnk shook his head.
“-c’mb m’ h’r f’rst”, it was rather hard to understand all the mumbling against his chest, but due to his commander’s eyes sliding over to the brush, Kit was able to decipher it.
He grabbed the brush and held it out for his commander to take, who didn’t seem to realize what was even happening anymore, if his closed eyes and half-asleep state was telling him anything through the force. There were other emotions and feelings floating in the force from his commander. Kit didn’t want to think about what they meant.
Kit shook his commander’s shoulders, but only receives a tired humming sound. When he did it again, eyes finally opened.
He showed his commander his brush with a confused look.
But Monnk only stared at it for a few seconds, then stubbornly moved his head, so his face was fully smushed against the chest of his general, eyes falling shut from the comforting and repetitive motion of a rising and falling chest.
Leaving his general with no idea what to do next.
Kit moved to the side, towards the bed, but Monnk refused to walk with him, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him back.
Doing anything else didn’t seem to make Monnk happy as well if the grumpy tones coming from him told him anything.
That meant only one thing to do.
Kit raised the brush and slowly started to make his way through the commander’s short hair with it. It didn’t reach his jawline, but still grew over his ears. The constant exposure to warm air and water curling his hair even more than it naturally already was.
Not that Kit minded, it has been a long time since he brushed a friend’s hair. War didn’t leave for much downtime, even with his friends around.
Apparently, it was the right call, as Monnk somehow relaxed even more against his chest.
But having short hair made for a short brushing-time and in less than a minute Kit was already putting the brush back. Even if he took as much time as appropriate, being careful and relaxing himself while doing so.
Kit then kept one arm over his commander’s shoulders, while the other held Monnk’s hand. He carefully tugged him along - making sure his commander would stay in his almost-asleep state and not wake up- where he then laid him down on his bed, tucking the covers over the sleeping commander.
Turning around to walk to the door, it caught Kit by surprise when a hand enclosed on his wrist, successfully stopping him.
Turning around, he saw Monnk peeking out from under the covers, his hand in his wrist.
“Stay”, it wasn’t a question or sleepy rambling. It was a simple request, one that Kit gladly followed.
He kneeled down next to the bed and played a little with Monnk’s hair, brushing it behind his ears.
Giving him a small smile, he whispered, “I’ll be right there”, and switched off all the lights. He then crawled his way under the blankets as well.
It seemed Monnk had gotten used to his hard and stiff mattress and thin covers. But Kit hadn’t and the blankets were too small for someone over six feet tall.
So, Kit made himself smaller, tucking himself together. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot of space for two people on a bed made for one, which meant that even if Kit didn’t want to, Monnk still woke up from him moving around and instantly knew why.
“You know sir, you can come closer, I don’t bite. Don’t want you to fall of the bed or freeze to death.”
A small chuckle was the only answer he got and Monnk closed his eyes again.
After an uncomfortable while, Kit decided to listen to Monnk and slid closer. While he wouldn’t be falling of the bed anytime soon, it still wasn’t safe or warm enough.
That was when Monnk, his face smushed against his pillow, moved his head slightly to the side to open an eye and glare at him.
Kit only gave an embarrassed smile.
Monk snorted and rolled his eyes, moving closer to the wall and held out an arm.
At Kit’s confused look he answered, “My vode and I cuddle all the time on these narrow beds. The only difference to you is that you’re way to kriffin tall. But we can work with that”, that was accompanied by a grin.
So, Kit moved closer and Monnk turned onto his side, curling himself together to fit under Kit’s chin. The nautolan’s arms automatically made their way around the clone’s body to hold him closer. One hand going into his hair to caress it, the other tracing the tattooed back, identical to his armor.
Monnk immediately fell asleep. But Kit couldn’t yet.
There was so much contentment in the force. The last time Kit felt that amount was around other jedis, but since he neither had a padawan nor anyone to work with often, he didn’t feel it a lot anymore. The clones had their basic shielding, but there was only so much non-force sensitives could do. With time it got a little lonely for Kit, but now. Now, with him holding Monnk in his arms, one of them asleep, the other well on their way to follow the other, it didn’t feel like that.
The only thing it felt like, was rightness.
Finally feeling warm and cozy, and not falling of the bed anytime soon, Kit fell asleep as well.
Nightmares were nothing new for Kanan. With his kind of life, it would’ve surprised him if he didn’t had any.
But that still did not sooth the hurt he woke up with every time.
Kanan went through a lot to get where he was today. Gained so many friends and family but lost so many as well.
Lost so many because of his own family members.
Meeting those clones a few days ago didn’t help with those facts, especially once they started explaining how and why everything went down. Kanan still finds it hard to believe.
So, he locked himself in his room and looked at the ceiling, wishing -hoping- not to fall asleep and get nightmares.
But with his kind of life, he knew that wasn’t possible.
Looking around, Kanan found himself somewhere surrounded by fog. It didn’t let him see further than a few feet in front of him and the ground not seen at all. Otherwise there was nothing. Nothing else to see, nothing to feel and nothing to hear.
“Caleb?”, and then the voices started. They all sounded the same.
“Caleb?”
“Caleb?”
“Caleb?”
“Cale-“
They got louder and louder until, suddenly, there was silence.
Then a small “Caleb?” sounded and a body was appearing in front of him. It took the shape of a man, someone Kanan knew too well.
“Stance.”
Stance took a step forward, his hand stretching out to reach Kanan. But Kanan stayed where he was, looking just a big to the right of Stance’s face.
It was still close enough for him to see his confused face contorting into another one, one with the same bone structure, same eyes and hair color, but with the smallest of differences.
“Caleb.”
Then the faces continued on. Kanan saw Big-Mouth, Soot, Mixx, Kaylon, Remo and so many other clones he once dared to call his family until all their faces blurred together.
“Caleb.”
His name was said repeatedly, coming from all sides, drilling into his mind and screaming at him. Kanan held his hands over his ears, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to block it out. But it didn’t work, and he sank to his knees.
“Stop. Please just stop”, he sobbed.
And miraculously, they complied.
Kanan found himself in silence again, his shuddering breaths and sobs his only companion. His forehead was touching the ground in front of him and his tears leaked in streams down his cheeks and onto the ground, small puddles forming there.
Thinking he was alone, it caught him of guard when he felt another presence. Instantly he was on his feet, hands where his lightsaber should be, but wasn’t.
“Caleb.”
Styles.
“Caleb. Why did you kill us? Why? What did we do?”
Silence.
“What did we DO, CALEB? TELL ME!”
But Kanan couldn’t answer, his tongue stuck to his mouth’s ceiling, his jaw stubbornly clenched. He took on a defensive stance, wishing he had his lightsaber with him in this nightmare.
“TELL ME! WHY DID YOU KILL US? WHY?”
“YOU KILLED MY MASTER!”, it burst out of him, years of anger and despair and not understanding finally crashing down. “YOU KILLED MASTER DEPA!”
“Did we?”, after all the screaming, it caught Kanan of guard when Styles suddenly spoke in his normal tone. Styles had never screamed at him out of anger, never when he had been alive. It only started once he was in exitus.
“Did we really? You know the truth now. We did it against our will, we couldn’t do anything against it. You say murdering all of us was right for an action we did that we had no control over?”
“Shut up.”
“What was that?”
“I said, shut UP!”
“Oh, you want me to shut up? You want me to? Now, when I can finally tell you the truth? Now, when you finally know the truth? YOU WANT ME TO SHUT UP? SHUT UP AGAINST AN UNJUST CRIME? SHUT UP WHEN IT’S YOU, WHO ACTS LIKE A CHILD, WHEN YOU AREN’T ONE ANYMORE? SHUT UP? OH, I WILL-“
“Shut up, please”, Kanan’s whimper was once again the only thing stopping complete silence.
Where Style’s outstretched hand has been going for Kanan’s head, remained now only a whisper and a shadow, the shadow dissolving with an unfelt gust of wind. As did Kanan’s tears dry.
The wind shifted around him, the whispers intruding his mind, words of stories letting him see pictures.
“Caleb”, the name was said with easily interpreted care and love, but so much guilt and hesitation. It felt almost parental -it was parental. A hesitating hand was laid on his dipped head, it was big and calloused, but so warm and familiar.
Kanan couldn’t forget the gruff but caring tone, it was impossible to.
He held in a sob, wanting to hear what the voice clearly wanted to say.
“I’m so sorry. Force, I am so sorry”, the guilt in the voice almost made Kanan look up. Almost.
“Nothing I could say to you would ever make up for what we made you go through, what I made you go through. And I am so, so terribly sorry. I won’t make any excuses and I won’t expect you to forgive me or anyone else”, Kanan only glanced to the side.
“I am so sorry and I’ll never forgive myself. I should have stopped us sooner”, at that, Kanan finally looked up into the scarred face of the clone in front of him.
“Caleb. I just need you to know, that -even with everything you did and had to go through- I am so proud of you. You are so strong. And even with everything that happened to you, you still have the capacity to care, and more importantly, to love. You are a strong, kind and loving man, Caleb. And I couldn’t be more proud of you.”
In front of him, Kanan could see the clone starting to disappear. And it made Kanan start to panic.
It was purely the eyes of the man -so warm and familiar- that made Kanan feel young again, like at the beginning of his padawan years, in the clone wars. Made him feel loved again, loved by figures in his life that were the closest he had to a family -to parents.
It was purely the face of the man -scarred, but welcoming- that made Kanan feel like a young child again, needing comfort after one of the more gruesome battles.
It was purely the smile of the man -sad and small but understanding and comforting- that made Kanan feel the familiar feeling he had with his family in the war, the fun and sad times.
It was purely the hand of the man -protective and parental- that made Kanan feel save again, forgetting about all the cruel things that happened in his life.
It was purely the man kneeling in front of him -fatherly, but so, so guilty- that made Kanan yearn for simpler times and Caleb want to have his family back and out of despair, cling to the armored back of the clone.
The hand moved from the top of his head to cradling his nape, strong fingers pulling his head closer to the others until their foreheads touched.
Kanan closed his eyes, letting his feelings flow through his body.
Even if he wished and hoped for it to not happen, the body of the man still started to disintegrate. As much as holding on tighter would have stopped him from leaving if his body were physical, the body wasn’t real.
But maybe -if Caleb thought hard enough about it- maybe he could stop it for a short time, make it take longer.
The forehead against his moved away and the lips that took it’s placed whispered a “I’m so sorry, ner’ad”, against his forehead.
That was when Kanan felt it. It being the hands of his family. His master’s arms around him, his grandmasters and Styles’ hand on his shoulder, other clones surrounding them. Whispers of “I’m sorry” floating around him until all he could feel was the dissolving imprint of a fatherly kiss on his forehead and the embrace of a mother.
It crawled over his skin, intruding through his pores, drilling into his mind, showing him pictures. Pictures of a bridge of an eerily familiar gozanti-class cruiser. Of two familiar clones arguing, one of them then turning around to argue with the troopers piloting the ship. The other standing back, even when he was clearly the higher-up. Of an uncertain look to his side, quickly turning to steal. Of quick strides and taking a weapon into his hands. Of one single shot. Of a resigned face. Of a familiar explosion.
And Caleb cried. The explosion as a single gust of wind whisked next to Kanan away, his hair lifting and clothes ruffling. His tears drying. But Caleb cried in the silence of his dream.
And while it changed nothing for Kanan, for Caleb, it changed everything.
Being the Commander of General Kit Fisto’s battalion had both its benefits and its disadvantages. Since they were the only aquatic battalion, they had more than enough battles of their own, hardly had any time out of water. And as much as Monnk loved the water, sometimes it just got a little too much.
That’s why, when they finally had a leave for a few days, Monnk and his vode would enjoy the kriff out of it. The moment they got on planet. What exactly they would do, they weren’t sure of yet, but they sure would enjoy it.
At least that was what Monnk had planned for today.
Unfortunately for him, his general decided he would take up Monnk’s time for much longer than planned.
It’s not that Monnk didn’t mind. His jedi was rather nice and understanding, accepting his men and their wishes. He was really nice, some would say a little too flirty. But Monnk knew that wasn’t really his generals’ fault, it was just- what did he say again? The clothing was getting uncomfortable with time? Something along those lines. And yeah, sometimes he walked around right after he got out of the water naked, and that, along with his irritatingly infectious smile and muscular body, was quite the combination. But that only affected the shines. At least Monnk hoped so.
Monnk has gotten rather accustomed with the ways of his jedi. After all, they had worked together for quite some time now.
But that still didn’t mean Monnk wanted to spend more time than planned talking with his general. At least not today.
Luckily for him, they got interrupted.
General Fisto and him were in the hangar, talking while slowly walking out. Around them were groups of vode, hyping each other up with all the ideas of everything they could do. Few had already left, others were in the middle of doing so and some still standing.
The calmer groups left at the beginning, still grieving their closest. Monk was very glad about that fact, because it was about to get really interesting.
How may he know that? Well, it was kind of hard to miss the way his general suddenly was a little distracted, his sentence getting quieter towards the end and words stumbling over each other.
Looking into the direction his general was glancing, he didn’t have to think too far as to why.
While the clones mostly had brotherly relationships, the parental and romantic ones started to happen more often.
As it was, the parental ones were rather new and out of all the clones, not many felt them strongly. Which was why, with time, it got confusing if one was thinking about the jedi’s relationship.
Some of them had romantic ones, some of them not, some of them thought they were forbidden, some of them embraced those. But friendly relationships, one can find those everywhere in the temple. Whether because they’re neighbours or have known each other since the crèche -or however it was called- or classes, met each other randomly or teamed up on a mission, sometimes even out of boredom. And between all the masters and padawans and their lineage was the familiar bond. Since the clones didn’t have any parents themselves, it took them a while to figure out. But once they did, they found it rather interesting.
It was hard to overlook, the love between the pair of a master and their padawan.
Even if that padawan had been knighted since the last time they got to see each other.
Commander Monnk had only seen Nahdar Vebb a few times, and in those, he was often seen with Kit Fisto.
And Monnk can see how much his general loved his padawan-turned-knight. Even if he gave him grey hairs early, or whatever it was called with nautolans.
He had heard stories about both him and his general’s other once-padawan Bant Eerin. Monnk dread the day he would find out how their family dinners looked like, he was just glad to have never seen them interact with each other before. He knew Bant wasn’t as energetic as her younger padawan brother, but one can never know how much one’s personality can change when they have a younger sibling.
Monnk knew his general loved his padawans, he just didn’t want to get in the way of him showing his affection. He did not want to get caught in that whirlwind.
Giving his general a little nudge was all he needed and with a nod towards Monnk, General Fisto was already on his way.
The purposeful steps echoed around the hangar, ripping Nahdar Vebb’s attention away from whoever he was talking to, hidden behind the front door.
He bowed and smiled at his master, said a few words to his companion and then walked the rest of the way to General Fisto.
The moment they reached each other, General Fisto put a hand on Vebb’s shoulder and greeted him warmly.
Monnk’s attention was ripped away from them when the face of Vebb’s companion peaked around the door.
Stifling a snort, he started walking towards his vod’ika, his face carefully neutral.
Commander Fil’s face went through about a hundred different emotions with an unbelievable range before he sighed deeply and hung his head in defeat, his shoulder sagging.
He shuffled towards Monnk, who, at this point, could no longer hide his amused smirk.
“Well, well, well. Look who we have here”, Monnk teased.
“Oh, just shut up.”
“No, I don’t think I will”, he chortled.
His younger brother let out a truly amazingly sounding groan of despair, “Pleaseeee.”
“Well, since you asked so nicely.”
“Thank you!”
“Or maybe not.”
However Fil managed to make his groans sound progressively louder and angrier, amused Monnk to no end.
The groan stole Fisto’s and Vebb’s reaction for a quick second, making them look at them to make sure everything was alright.
They received a sunny smile from Monnk, while Fil embarrassedly raised a hand next to him. That made Fisto smile at them and Vebb nod at Monnk, who nodded right back.
“I swear to everything holy to you, if you make one stupid comment, I will leave.”
Monnk’s mouth snapped shut.
Glancing over, Monnk could see the poorly masked amusement on Fil’s face. Chuckling, he threw an arm around his younger brother’s shoulders.
“The amount of emotions you throw into my face when I talk to you only makes your life harder.”
That got him a side-glare.
“I learned from the best, didn’t I?”, and there was that raised eyebrow and smirk.
Monnk couldn’t hold in his laughter at that, bending in the middle as he started wheezing.
As his tears dried out, he beamed at his brother, knocking their foreheads together.
It was Fil who leaned back first, a small smile on his face. He shuffled around until he could wrestle his arms around his older brother’s armour, hugging him. Monnk raised his other arm to put it around his shoulder as well, holding him close.
Glancing quickly over to his general and his padawan, his heart warmed at the scene. The pair was talking to each other, smiling, while Vebb used wide hand gestures to talk about his tales. General Fisto was looking so kriffing proud of Vebb, who was practically glowing under his master’s praise.
Monnk leaned his head against Fil’s.
“I’m proud of you”, he murmured.
Fil angled his head until his answer was muffled against his neck.
Monnk leaned back until Fil had to raise his head.
Coming face to face with his brother, Monnk asked him to repeat it.
“I learned from the best”, was mumbled, Fil looking down to hide the growing blush.
“Ah! Stop! I’m going to blush!”, complained Monnk, but he didn’t do anything to hide the happy smile creeping on his face. He punched his brother’s shoulder, “Alright now, let’s go. C’mon.”
Monnk dragged Fil out of the hangar.
It seemed Monnk finally knew what he would do tonight.
Rex has told him many times about the adventures and misadventures of his general and commander. About how often he was thrown around and especially of a cliff.
Unlike his batchmate, Keeli counted himself lucky. Lucky for having such an -for lack of better words and time- amazing general. Lucky for not constantly being thrown around and never of a cliff.
That said, it did actually happen sometimes.
But Keeli counted himself lucky. It doesn’t happen a lot, only om dire needs.
Dire needs in which is general thought Keeli’s life was or important than his own.
Which to Keeli sounded like a horrible lie. A truly, truly horrible lie.
Growing up, they were taught that their jedi’s life were always more important than their own. They were the republics most important asset and as such -as well as them being clones and all that- their life counted more.
Of course, the jedis proved their learning wrong, going back to safe the vode’s life and even sacrificing themselves. While those were few in between, with time, the other’s attitude changed towards that as well.
Now, Keeli wouldn’t say his jedi was sacrificing himself left and right for his vode, but lately Keeli began -with great trepidation- to realize that that might not be correct.
General Ima-Gun Di knew when there was nothing he could do, he knew he had to leave his men behind sometimes. Keeli couldn’t argue, for this was a war after all. However, if one specific clone was in danger of seriously getting hurt or about to lose their life, General Di would often throw them away from the danger or get in between them.
Unfortunately for Keeli, that clone was Captain Keeli himself.
Like now.
At the start of the battle, Keeli and his General were fighting side by side, but were torn apart when it got more serious. However, they kept each other in their vision.
It seemed the battle was in their favour, the separatists backing up as they took out more and more of their droids.
Keeli and Ima-Gun Di had reached each other, fighting shoulder by shoulder, when a few explosives were thrown.
One of them landed a few feet in front of the commanding pair and before Keeli could react in any way, his general used the force to push him away.
The explosion itself wasn’t big, but the ground still shook and troopers who were near, fell.
Keeli hit the ground with a loud and choked off “oof”.
He stayed there groaning for a bit, but quickly shook his head to clear his mind. Instantly, he was on his feet, carrying himself to where the General laid.
When Keeli reached him, he inhaled sharply. General Di most probably used the force to cushion his fall or something similar, otherwise he wouldn’t look that good. He didn’t look all that harmed, a few bruises and cuts mostly. Maybe one broken bone, but nothing fatal -or internally, but Keeli couldn’t possibly know that for sure, but at least it didn’t seem like it. The problem, however, was that at first glance his General didn’t look like he was breathing at all.
That almost sent Keeli into panic, but panic on a battlefield meant death.
So, he quickly shook himself out of it and took a deep breath, focusing on his general.
Now that he was calmer, he realized his general was, in fact, breathing. His breaths just weren’t big enough for his entire chest to inflate at a noticeable range away, but they were there and regular.
Keeli grabbed his Generals shoulders, shaking him until he showed signs of awakening.
The moment his general’s eyes opened and focused on Keeli, Keeli received a warm smile and felt himself relaxing.
“Captain Keeli”, his general grunted as he hefted himself up with Keeli’s help.
“It seems the mission was a success”, he continued on, overlooking the battlefield.
He was right, it was a success. The troops were busy shooting the last of the escaping droids and their casualties were lower than imagined. It felt good
But his general was still caught in an explosion, force or not, and Keeli wasn’t just about to let him walk away.
Fortunately for him, a medic was already on their way to them.
Once they reached the two of them, Keeli let them do their work, mostly hovering right outside their reach and staying to the side.
From the way the medic didn’t look too frazzled or worried, Keeli thought his hunches on his general’s health weren’t too far off.
Once he was sure everything was under control, he began to rally up his troops to finish their campaign.
He kept a close ear to the conversation between their medic and general, so he didn’t startle when a sudden hand gripped his shoulder.
“Thank you, Captain Keeli”, General Di nodded his appreciation, “Will you join me abort the ship?”
Keeli snorted, “I know for a fact that you need to go to the medbay. And I need to make sure the rest of this goes as planned.
That brought a chuckle out of his general.
“Well then, I’ll leave this to your competent hands. Comm me, if you need me. And please, to join me once you’ve finished.”
With that, Keeli was left alone, only a squeezing of his shoulder and the warmth of a hand left behind with him.
Taking in a deep breath, Keeli turned back to his troops, giving out orders where needed.
The medic came to a stand next to him.
“Well? You gonna join him?”, they looked at him through the corners of their eyes and smirked.
“Oh, shut up”, Keeli threw back half-heartedly, glaring at them.
But well, the troops knew their orders and everything was almost done. It wouldn’t hurt to leave a little earlier to meet up with his jetii.
He made his way to board the ship, snickers from the medic following him, until he came to a stop in front of his general’s quarters. Taking in a deep breath, he knocked.
A few moments past -nothing unusual- and then the door opened to reveal the room’s occupant, who let out a small but welcoming smile once the realized who stood in front of him.
Stepping aside, he welcomed his captain into his room.
Keeli walked into the middle where a small but surprisingly soft couch was placed, sitting on his usual sport near one end, a pillow already stolen from the couch sitting snuggly in Keeli’s arms.
Looking him in the eyes, Keeli asked his general if he was alright now, to which he responded with an exasperated “of course”. Why he sounded like that wasn’t entirely a mystery to Keeli, but well. Not Keeli’s fault his jetii constantly threw himself in between Keeli and danger. That way his trips to the medbay won’t be a weekly phenomenon for much longer and the more Keeli will ask him. Simple logic, really.
Unlike usually where Keeli’s general would accept his wished of distance, he decided to sit down closer to Keeli, a little more than a foot of distance.
Keeli froze, but gradually his muscles lost their frigidness. His back sunk into the back of the couch, his upper body slowly falling forward and the pillow tucked neatly into his chest.
His head fell to his side, hitting a cushion and staying there. Through his half-lidded eyes, Keeli could see his general leaning a little closer until his shoulder was merely an inch away from Keeli’s face.
It made him smile.
There was something happening between them, something that Keeli wasn’t sure what it was and Ima-Gun only had a feeling about. But Ima-Gun had also told Keeli about how the force just sings whenever he was around his captain, especially on slower nights like tonight. Keeli just thought that it felt right, he didn’t need any outside magic to know or feel that. His ever-growing feelings were enough reason and explanation for that.
Keeli isn’t quite sure what this was, but it was growing. Had been ever since they got to know each other. Sometimes it was smaller steps, sometimes bigger. And tonight was without question a bigger one.
Keeli let his head fall the last inch, hitting Ima-Gun’s shoulder. Slightly moving around to make himself more comfortable, he drifted of to sleep, surrounded by happiness, warmth and safety.
And while he was smiling while asleep, his hand latched onto Ima-Gun’s.
As commander of the Coruscant Guard and the Chancellor’s involuntarily lapdog he really had his hands full. There was almost no free time for him, despite his vode’s best attempts. Even if he miraculously had a full day off, most of the times he could only enjoy a few hours.
Fox was used to it, however sad that may seem.
And yet, he really wished it wouldn’t be like that this time.
This time when he felt like he could actually relax for a bit.
Fox’ boyfriend has been trying to get him to relax more often. This time, Fox decided to take his requests to heart. He took his shower in a hot fresher for longer than his few regulated minutes, let his hair loose after and instead of wearing his blacks, snatched one of his boyfriend’s shirts. While waiting for him to finish his own fresher, Fox leaned back on his boyfriend’s bed, a low light on while he read through reports and requests.
It felt wrong. He shouldn’t be in his boyfriend’s room, acting out such a domestic scene, while his vode on other planets, as well on Coruscant, could be -are- dying.
But he knew, his vode wanted this. They wanted him to relax. And if that meant spending a night with his boyfriend, then it meant that. And spending a night with his boyfriend not as in like every other day when he would randomly visit and force him to sleep, but instead take his time and come back the next day at midday. That kind of spending the night with his boyfriend.
And despite how wrong it felt, it was nice. Even if Fox felt ready to combust. Although they were dating for a few months by now, they never really had time for something like this, which was why he felt a little nervous. Scratch that, he could count on one hand the amount of times he felt more nervous than now. Today was pretty high up.
It really did feel nice though, surrounded by things that reminded Fox of his boyfriend. Laying on top of the mattress felt like lying on clouds and the wall of soft pillows behind him held his head up .The bed smelt like his boyfriend, comforting Fox who was about ready to let sleep take a hold of him. He slouched further down, his shoulders and eyelids dropping. Despite wanting to sleep, he knew he wouldn’t get anywhere with that wish without his boyfriend lying next to him. Which meant he had to wait until he would come out of the fresher and keep on reading those reports and requests.
So really, he didn’t want today to be like all the other times. He was actually relaxing and, if his boyfriend eventually came out of the fresher, there was a high chance he would sleep without nightmares.
That was the moment the door to the bathroom opened and a cloud of steam swirled out. Fox’ boyfriend stood there with only a towel around his waist, his still wet hair letting droplets fall to the floor and his damp skin reflecting the light.
What perfect timing.
Quinlan walked over to his closet and rummaged through it to find something comfortable to sleep in. While he was busy searching, Fox was busy watching him, especially once he let loose of his towel. They might have been dating for a few months, but Fox was sure the image of his boyfriend without clothes would always make him stop dead in his tracks. Why wouldn’t it? It wasn’t his fault his boyfriend had an amazing body, he rather liked appraising it. And what kind of boyfriend would he be if he wouldn’t use the advantages it gave him?
When Quinlan finally decided what to wear, he looked over to his boyfriend. Catching him staring, he winked at him, to what Fox only answered with a raised brow.
But Quinlan chuckled only, sending him a cheeky kiss though the air and returned to the bathroom.
Shaking his head, Fox looked back to the reports and requests he still had to go through. Losing himself in them, he did everything on autopilot, only coming out of it when he felt the bed dip at its edge.
Surprised, he raised his head, immediately on high alert.
But it was only Quinlan, who sat down at the edge. He waited until Fox relaxed again and returned his attention towards his work until he began to move again.
He started crawling on his legs and arms towards Fox, his moves a little sluggish as he was tired as well, eyelids dropping and holding in a yawn, and ducked under Fox’ arms. He started to lower himself but stopped and blinked a few times, his tiredness amplifying his confusion.
“Wait a second… That’s my shirt, isn’t it?”, he cocked his head and furrowed his eyebrows.
“Of course it is, what else am I supposed to wear?”, Fox raised his eyebrows, but despite his best attempts, a blush still creeped up on his face.
Quinlan only smiled, eyes shining with love. They have been working on it, but there were still times when Fox had difficulties with believing in and receiving his boyfriend’s love. This wasn’t one of those times. His blush deepened and Fox looked away.
There was a small moment of silence before Quinlan positioned his hands next to Fox’ head and lowered himself carefully on top of him, laying his head on his collarbone and nuzzling into his neck and closing his eyes.
With a sigh, he murmured, “I like it.”
If the blush wasn’t visible before, it definitely was now.
“Not my fault you’re bigger than me”, Fox wheezed out from under him, “and heavier.”
Quinlan only let out a chuckle before he nuzzled closer and kissed his neck and then fell silent.
Fox felt himself growing more tired. It was comfortable, even with his boyfriend on top of him, but he couldn’t go to sleep yet. There was still work to do.
Instead, he moved one hand to his boyfriend’s head and began to run his fingers through his hair and play with it. Gradually he felt his muscles relaxing and his breathing getting heavier.
“You know babe, normally people don’t work when they’re having a break.”
Thinking Quinlan already fell asleep, it caught Fox by surprise when he heard him whisper it, his voice thick with sleep and warm breath hitting his throat.
With his sleep addled mind, Quinlan used the force to remove Fox’ datapad and stylus out of his hands and put them down somewhere out of Fox’ sight. At the same time, he fumbled around with the force until he got a hold of his blanket at the foot of his bed and tucked it around their shoulders.
At Fox’ uncomfortable grumbling and fidgeting, Quinlan rolled off Fox to let him turn around, while he sneaked one arm under his head and the other one across his stomach and intertwined their legs. He then snuggled closer, nuzzled his neck before hooking his chin over his shoulder to kiss his cheek.
“Goodnight, babe”, he whispered and used the force to turn off the light.
After kissing his cheek for the last time that night, he leaned back and smiled as he felt Fox leaning into him and wishing him sweet dreams.
Feeling the warm, sleepy breaths hitting his neck, Fox knew his boyfriend fell asleep. But he couldn’t quite yet follow him into the lands of dreams.
Instead he took a hold of Quinlan’s hand thrown over his stomach and brought it up to his face, where he kissed the knuckles gently. Holding it more securely, he brought it back to its original position and didn’t let go for the rest of the night.
His eyes closed on their own accord and he made himself a little smaller, Quinlan folding himself more around him unconsciously for them to fit together better.
It made Fox smile, thinking about how often Quinlan unconsciously moved around him for Fox’ own comfort.
“I love you”, his sleep addled mind thought.
If day-Fox thought that, things probably would’ve gone different, but now-Fox didn’t mind that. It was one of the only truths he could find in his life full of lies.
Smiling, Fox followed his love into a dreamless sleep.
And if he returned to his vode and friends the next afternoon more awake and himself than he did for a long time, well-
Cody didn’t often meet with his batchmates on Coruscant.
Of course, there were the times where everyone of them was on Coruscant, but since they were all commanders, those times were rare. Didn’t change how much they meant, though.
Sometimes, there was at least one other batchmate and sometimes, Cody was the only one of his batch on Coruscant.
But that wasn’t entirely true.
It wasn’t the fact that Fox wasn’t on Coruscant that stopped him from meeting often with his batchmates. Quite the opposite, in fact. He always was on Coruscant. It was the fact that his job took up too much of his time.
As the commander overlooking the Coruscant Guard and the GAR, as well as being responsible for an entire planets worth of security, as well as the senate’s security -even if the Senate had it’s own guards just for that, as Fox had often enough complained over during drunken nights- and had probably even more duties than Cody was aware of, Fox hardly had time for anything but his duties.
Which meant that any little time Cody could spend with his ori’vod Fox was cherished. And, despite what Fox constantly said, Cody knew Fox loved those nights as well. Even if he came back to the barracks some nights more annoyed or drunk than he was before he left. Cody is simply fulfilling his duty as a younger brother. He takes it very seriously.
And if that time is spend helping him on a mission or annoying him on duty, Cody does not mind one bit.
Especially if it was on a mission a little deeper in Coruscant, where the action usually took place.
Especially, if Obi-Wan was there as well.
Cody just thought it was time his ori’vod and cyare finally officially met.
And so far, it went quite swimmingly.
That was until Obi-Wan suddenly stopped in his tracks, looked around and whispered a confused “Quinlan?”.
Which made Fox turn around sharply -because obviously that name meant something for Fox- and pin Obi-Wan with his gaze, stealing his focus from their surroundings.
At probably the worst time, because right then a building two blocks away exploded in a fiery show of light.
The shockwave shattered windows and lights, cracked the asphalt and pushed everything light enough, away. It brought the three of them to their knees, debris and shards of glass crashing to the floor around them.
Civilians were screaming and running away, but the comm on Fox’ wrist crackled to life, voices of their team of vode screaming through it.
But Cody didn’t hear anything through the ringing in his ears, his vision blurry. He was barely making out his vode and cyare, but that was all he needed to know at the moment.
Suddenly everything stopped. Then came a soothing touch at the edges of his mind and he relaxed a bit.
Opening his eyes and taking his hands away from his ears, he looks up right into his boyfriend’s beautifully blue, concerned eyes. Then there were careful hands on his shoulders, pulling him up and dusting him off.
The moment he was on eye level with Obi-Wan, he looked him up and down, searching for any injuries. Finding nothing but scrapes and bruises, he looked around for his ori’vod, intending on making sure he was alright as well.
Fox was standing a little away from them, at the mouth of the alley they were in, his calculating eyes trained on the burning destruction two blocks away and talking over his comm.
Throwing one arms over his boyfriend’s shoulders, he made his way to his older brother, wincing every time his twisted ankle made contact with the ground.
Fox turned around quickly, once he heard them shuffling his way and walked the rest of the distance, already looking the both of them over.
A quick glance showed Cody that next to a cut at the side of his head, Fox was relatively unharmed. Fortunately for him, the bleeding already stopped.
“Our squad is already taking care of it. Others are on their way to help. They said we should make our way to a medic”, Fox said, his voice taking on an annoyed tone towards the end and rolling his eyes.
Cod scoffed. None of them were really a fan of the medics, but even if two of them could be suicidal idiots, at least two of them needed medical attention and those weren’t the same two people. They would make sure whoever needed it, would get the medical attention and only then would think about getting it themselves. Too bad it would always be two against one.
Heaving a sigh, Cody took control of the situation.
“Well, alright then. Let’s go to that medic.”
“No wait! Quinlan!”
Before both Cody and Fox could stop and look at Obi-Wan confused, waiting for an explanation, another explosion went off.
Although it was significantly smaller, debris and glass still fell down on them.
While Fox ducked to the side and pressed himself against the nearest wall, Obi-Wan shoved Cody against the other one, which was nearer to them, pressing himself in front of him.
Looking over his cyare’s shoulder, Cody locked eyes with an exasperated Fox. If he knew missions mostly ended up like this on Coruscant, Cody probably would’ve spent more time with his cyare than his ori’vod.
When it stopped raining glass and rocks, Fox took a tentative step forward and checked their environment. Looking back to them, he nodded his head in a clear sign that it was safe.
Since people were screaming anew, it took a while for Cody to realize one yell getting louder and louder. And weirdly enough, coming from upwards.
Fox teared his eyes away from him and in perfect tandem with Obi-Wan, looked up.
As fast as lighting, he held out his arms and nearly collapsed to the floor when he caught a person, tripping over his feet while trying to keep his balance.
And then there was silence.
“Wow, Foxy. If I knew that all it took was me running from an explosion for me to finally land in your arms, I would’ve used this flirting tactic ages ago.”
In Fox’ arms was one Quinlan Vos, currently sporting a smokingly hot new look, and catching his breath, but still somehow sounding not winded at all as he flirted with Fox, winking in good measure and throwing an arm around his shoulder.
Even if neither Cody nor Obi-wan knew what just happened, for Fox this was apparently nothing new as he just looked at them, his tired eyes telling of a story, and sighed heavily.
Gaze still trained on them, he let go of Quinlan, letting him fall to the ground with a surprised sound and turning around.
“Let’s go to that medic.”
Sharing a quick, confused look with his cyare, they looked from Fox to Quinlan, who was still laying on the ground and groaning in pain.
“C’mon, he’ll be fine”, Fox dismissed.
But when they didn’t budge, he sighed again, his shoulders dropping in defeat, and turned around. Giving them a quick look of despair and suffering over his shoulder, he made his way to the jedi. With a grimace, he heaved the jedi up into his arms and then continued his walk to the medic, a moaning jedi in his arms.
Cody and Obi-Wan shared a look, still as confused as before.
While Obi-Wan lifted both his eyebrows in question, Cody only shrugged his shoulders as an answer.
Looking back to the other pair, they caught them right as they were about to walk around the corner, while talking to each other in quiet tones. Out of all the things Cody expected, it wasn’t the jetii shoving his face in his ori’vod’s neck that surprised him. Rather it as the fact that his ori’vod apparently didn’t mind and actually smiled down at the jetii.
Sharing another dumbstruck look, Cody and Obi-Wan finally began moving to catch up to them.
And while they still had absolutely no idea what just happened, they were sure they wouldn’t just forget about it any time soon.
And if Cody cornered every other commander of the Coruscant Guard after that mission to catch up on some good ol’ teasing material, nobody needed to know that.
Not when it made Fox smile at that jetii with the most lovestruck look Cody has ever seen.
Hey Shark! Just recently found your blog and I wanted to say that you've provided me with some quality Commander Fox and Vox content. Thanks for being amazing and I can't wait to see what you write next! <3
Aww, thank you so much! Hehe, yeah you’ll see a lot of Fox content here, as well as Vox. (And most of that stuff is pretty similar to each other, hope you don’t mind.) Although I do have some other stuff planned as well....
Groaning, Fox groggily opened his eyes and blinked at the ceiling. Lightly moving his head to the side, he eyeballed his window.
The outside was bright. It always was. Coruscant never slept, was always busy. But having rarely left the planet, Fox had become somewhat of a pro with figuring out what kind of brightness meant day, night and anything in between.
Right now it was early, a little bit before dawn. And as much as Fox appreciated his own alarm, right now he didn’t want anything to do with it.
He wormed his arm out of the blankets and threw it out to the side, hitting the alarm.
Instantly the loud ringing stopped.
Foy shut his eyes in bliss, relaxing back into the warm bed and the body behind him. His arm wormed itself back under the covers, blindly searching until he found the hand he was looking for and held it.
Letting himself have this short moment of peace and quiet, he took in a deep breath and squeezed the hand. He then exhaled and began moving to get out of the bed.
He didn’t get very far, though. The arm thrown over his waist tightened and pulled him back into the warm body behind him. Without Fox’ consent, his own body relaxed and slightly folded together to better fit the position of the one behind him.
Fox let out a groan. But the person spooning him only chuckled and moved to kiss his cheek.
Knowing there was no silent escaping this time, Fox turned around until he was face to face with his boyfriend, who smiled sleepily at him.
“Hey beautiful”, he murmured, one of his hands coming up to comb some stray overgrown hair out of Fox’ face and behind his ears. “Slept well?”
Fox’ face lit up with a small smile.
“I always sleep better with you by my side. You know that”, he rolled his eyes.
Quinlan’s eyes closed as he snickered, but when he opened them, they were warm and soothing and his entire face softened as he looked at Fox, a smitten look crossing over his face.
This early in the morning, with only them two in their own little world, still sleepy from just waking up. This early in the morning, Fox was sure, his expression didn’t look all that different.
Quinlan shuffled closer, tucking his head into the crease between Fox’ neck and shoulder and kissed his pulse point. He tightened his arms around him and entwined their legs, nuzzling closer.
Fox huffed out a breath.
“You do know that I have to work, right?”
“Work can wait. Right now we cuddle.”
And well, Fox didn’t mind. With the war taking up more and more of their time, being able to share a bed together for even one night got rarer and rarer. And with that, Fox’ good nights as well.
So, Fox cuddled closer to his boyfriend, one hand starting to comb through his hair, while the other one found its way around Quinlan, holding him close.
“Five more minutes. Five more minutes and then you have to let me go.”
Fox felt more than heard the tired chuckle, Quinlan’s chest shaking with it.
A sleepy “Alright, five more minutes” came from him, before he sighted contently and Fox heard Quinlan’s breathing beginning to slow until his boyfriend was a comfortingly heavy, sleeping weight around him.
Fox continued running his hands through his boyfriend’s hair, but he didn’t close his eyes. He stayed awake, falling asleep would be practically impossible now.
After what was more than five minutes, Fox kissed Quinlan on the forehead and slowly began to entangle himself from the warm body.
He tucked the blankets back around his shoulders and then left to make himself ready for the day. Showering, making himself look presentable, putting on his blacks and armour.
He didn’t put on his helmet yet, though. Instead, he sandwiched it in between his arm and side.
Moving silently, he made his way to his still sleeping boyfriend.
Quinlan was laying on his side, mouth open and drool already on his pillow. Where Fox would’ve been in his arms, another pillow was instead.
Not wanting to wake him up, Fox didn’t make a sound and only smiled.
He leaned down to caress his boyfriend’s cheek and stared at the peaceful expression on his face, leaning further in. His kiss was feather-light, but he didn’t back down yet and his lips stayed where they were on Quinlan’s temple.
“Have a good day, ner jetii.”
Only the whisper broke the silence.
Fox turned on his heel, leaving his sleeping boyfriend alone in the room.
He closed the door and put on his helmet, hiding his face and the soft look on it.
He didn’t have time to already miss the warmth of his boyfriend. To think about all he had to do was turn around and walk back into the room to be next to his love again, to crawl back into the warm bed with the uncomfortable mattress, but Quinlan made it all so much better. Quinlan, who would open his arms and all Fox had to do was fall into them for the world to make sense again.
But Fox didn’t have time for that.
Right now, he needed to be Commander Fox of the Coruscant Guard.
“I still don’t know why he hasn’t let go of me yet.”
General Kenobi looked at him, his body slouched with exhaustion and his eyes sad. His fingers combed through Quinlan’s hair and he murmured,
“Because you saved him. We were all too far away, but you had the choice. And you came back for him.”
He took in a shaking breath, his mouth trembling a little.
“And that means the world to him.”
Fox turned his gaze back to Quinlan who was laying in his bed, body bandaged almost everywhere one could see. His head was pillowed in Fox’ lap and both arms of his were around Fox’ waist, allowing him to nuzzle his face closer into his stomach every few minutes.
Someone knocked on the door and peaked their head through. It was Cody.
“General? The council needs to talk to you.”
He spoke it softly and quiet, keeping a weak grip on the door while he walked into the room and closed it softly. He gave his brother a quick look, making sure he was still there and alright, but then gave his general his entire attention.
When his general didn’t move from his crouched position in front of Fox and continued combing through his own brothers’ hair, Cody let out a sigh and walked over to them.
With great care, he removed his hands and made him stand up, never letting go of his hands or stop whispering comfort even when they both walked out of the room, leaving Fox alone with a sleeping Quinlan.
How they weren’t together yet, was a mystery to everyone.
Shaking his head at his brother’s and his crush’s obliviousness, Fox let out a quiet chuckle and quirked the corners of mouth up a little.
But as his sight returned to the jetii sleeping on his lap, he felt sadness creeping up on him again.
Fox’ arms moved to encircle the jetii, one hand combing through the others hair while the other kept a tight grip on him.
He let himself fall forward a little until he was hunched protectively over his jetii.
The hand combing through Quinlan’s hair stopped and moved fully around his head to touch his cheekbone, his head pillowed in his elbow. With slow strokes Fox caressed the others cheek with his thumb, his other fingers holding the jetii’s head up by the chin.
Quinlan nuzzled closer and let out a satisfying noise. A sleepy smile blossomed on his face.
While Quinlan’s face showed only content now, about an hour ago it didn’t. And Fox won’t forget that look for quite some time.
His eyes were blown wide open, panic and pain obvious, but fear stuck out the most. Tears were sliding down his face, leaving clear tracks on his face dirty from ash. His mouth trembled and his voice was hoarse from screaming for help. He was pinned to the ground by a heavy metal object, probably from a fallen house. Fire burned all around him and enemies were closing in on him. There was no escape. Quinlan was trapped.
And Fox was the only one near him, everyone else already on their escape ships or just too far away. He thought everyone except for him had left and was already safe, since he got distracted by his own merry band of enemies. Fortunately, there weren’t a lot and Fox wanted to get out of there fast, so the fight was over very quickly.
He would have left if he hadn’t heard the scream for help. Thinking it was from a forgotten civilian, he ran into the direction the call came from. But it turned out to be Quinlan.
Never before had Fox seen Quinlan that scared.
He didn’t even need a second to decide.
General Kenobi might have said Quinlan wasn’t letting go because he saved him. While that was true, a much deeper meaning was behind it.
Here’s the thing. Fox and Quinlan were in a relationship. Nothing too deep, just casual, only to let out some steam and maybe for some emotional comfort. But with time that changed. They hung out, spend their free time almost exclusively with each other and as much as Fox hated to admit it, he not only slept better but also slept more, when Quinlan was there with him. With Quinlan everything got a little easier.
And before Fox knew it, he fell in love.
It went against everything they told each other. Missions and duties came first and no real feelings. They weren’t allowed to be in a romance, it would compromise them. Quinlan was a general and Fox a commander, Fox served under him. Quinlan was a jetii, he wasn’t supposed to be attached to someone so badly and hold them this close to their heart.
But they did. And it was scary, so they lived in denial.
But Fox came back for Quinlan. Against a direct order and because of that, put them both in danger. He should have left him there, that way only one important person was left behind instead of two. That way, they wouldn’t have had to get them out of the middle of a warzone and put more people in danger.
But Fox still did it.
Not because of the army, bringing them a great general back. Not because of the jetiise, worried for their family member.
No. He did it for Quinlan and himself. Because he loved him and wanted to do so freely and without pain, because the love of his life wasn’t here anymore. Because he wanted to live a life with the man he loved unconditionally.
And maybe he got screamed at because of it, but it was worth it. Because Quinlan was alive.
And hasn’t let go of him, ever since Fox came into Quinlan’s bedroom in the Negotiator, General Kenobi by Quinlan’s side the whole time. Making sure both his love and he were alive and unconsciously showing Fox his love.
Quinlan nuzzled closer and let out a groan. Opening his eyes, he furrowed his brows and tightened his grip on him.
“Stop thinking so loud. Hug me.”
He murmured groggily, the corners of his mouth moving down dramatically.
Fox continued caressing his cheek, but there was a lump in his throat and the soothing smile he wanted to give his lover turned sad instead.
“Alright, c’mon. We have a whole bedroom to ourselves with an actual comfortable bed. Let’s use it correctly.”
Before Fox could do anything or voice a protest, Quinlan began to move. He ordered Fox to lay down and then did the same next to him, nuzzled under his chin, grabbed one of Fox’ hands and put them on his head. Then he pulled the covers over their shoulders, tangled their legs together and closed his eyes. Two people on a bed purposely made for one made it a tight squeeze, but somehow Quinlan made it comfortable.
While Quinlan moved around, Fox stayed in his frozen position, watching Quinlan with curiosity and vigilance, ready for if he so much as showed the smallest amount of discomfort.
Although his lover stopped fidgeting, Fox was still frozen. Only when Quinlan let out a noise of protest and pushed his head into his hand, did Fox pull himself out of his frozen stupor. He shifted into a more comfortable position for himself and allowed himself to finally relax.
He combed through Quinlan’s hair again and began to draw circles into his back, which made him melt and drift of into a blissful sleep.
Finally feeling content, Fox smiled tenderly down at his lover, who was already drooling. Then carefully moved forward to not disturb him and kissed him on his forehead. He closed his eyes and touched their foreheads together.
“Ner cyar’ika.”
And with a fond smile, he followed his lover into the land of dreams.
And Commander Fox of the Coruscant Guard was absolutely, definitely, without doubt, 100% not okay with that.
Thanks to ARC-Trooper Fives of the 501thst and a very close call -one that Fox would rather not talk about- the jedi had realized what exactly was happening and told Senator Organa about it, who had passed it onto the senate.
The senate, however, had been a different story. It was divided, a lot of senators had realized by themselves what it would mean, but the other party was loyal to the chancellor and didn’t want to see what was in front of their noses.
But the chancellor had only gotten more exposed.
Most of the senate could accept the facts, but not what they had entailed.
And the chancellor had seemed to think so as well.
He’d activated the chips still inside the Coruscant Guards head to attack the jedis.
But the chancellor forgot about one tiny fact. The jedis might not have had more heads than the Guard, but they had their clones. Most of them had their chips out already.
So, the fight hadn’t even begun before it stopped.
Fox had been ignoring what it meant for him and would continue to do so in the future. It didn’t hurt him, quite the opposite really. Now, if only his vode would stop acting around him as if he were made from glass and stop looking at him with sorrow, concern and wrath. Not wrath at him or the rest of the Guard, but it certainly felt like it sometimes.
He banished those thoughts as soon as they came.
Quiet but quick steps echo though the hallways as Fox walked with purpose to the healing halls.
He had a job to do.
Unofficially.
Fox stopped right in front of a door, took out a chip to open it and continued walking.
After taking an elevator to one of the highest floors, he stepped out and barely waited for the automatic lights to turn on before almost running to the end of the hallway, where a singular door was stationed, to open it.
The door had to be opened with another chip and it took too long to give him access.
And yet, as soon as he took his first step inside, he stopped.
It was night and storming outside, the drops hitting the windows repeating a rhythm and the thunder were giving the entire scene a dark undertone. No lamps were on, so the only light in the room came from the moon and strikes of lightning through the blinds on the windows and the glowing screens and shining buttons from various machines that served only one purpose. One that Fox currently hated very much.
It wasn’t enough to see, but Fox didn’t need light.
What he needed was for the mission to be over.
In the middle of the room laid a man on a bed. Only alive due to the machines attached to him.
Those machines were keeping a monster alive.
They were keeping the Chancellor alive.
Chancellor Palpatine was lying on a bed in the middle of a room in a hospital on Coruscant, dead, if it weren’t for those annoying machines.
And Fox wanted the opposite. He wanted that demagolka dead.
It didn’t happen during the jedis attack on him or when he went into surgery to make sure he actually survived that very attack.
Once Fox had had dreams and wishes just like everyone else but stopped once he started living. Since then he hadn’t dared to again.
But then he did. And he shared his dreams and wished with so many others, but it never came true.
If it didn’t before Fox had a hand in it, well then, it was prime time for some Commander Fox action.
He finally had a purpose again.
Taking in a deep breath, he stepped further into the room and let go of the door. It fell shut and the sound was like thunder inside the room instead of outside of it.
Silent except for the continuous beeping of the machines keeping that monster alive.
Fox stopped at the side of the bed and stared.
The monster was lying deadly still, only his chest rose and fell as he breathed. Helpless, pathetic.
It didn’t deserve to live.
Not after everything it did. To his vode, their jetii and the people they were supposed to protect.
What it did to Fox didn’t matter. After all, he won’t do this for himself, but for everyone else.
He looked around the room and once he found what he was searching for, walked towards it. Kneeling down, he reached for it.
A seed of doubt was planted into his head.
“Should I really do it?” Yes, of course he should.
“What would the others think of this? About you? What would your beloved vode do to you once they find out?” It didn’t matter. Even if everyone hated him after this, he could accept and live with it. They wouldn’t have to live in fear from that monster ever again. It hurt to know his aliit might hate him after this, but he does this for them.
After everything that monster had done, Fox was allowed to be petty.
Fox pulled the plug from its socket.
Around him the beeping stopped immediately and everything was plunged into silence.
Until the medical staff got down here, the monster will long be dead. If they even will, it would take some time to realize the electricity in this room was cut out and they got up here.
Fox stood up peacefully and started out the door.
And as he walked through the streets of Coruscant, he smiled.
It was a small smile. Melancholic. Behind the seemingly neutral mask however, he began to break. He will be hated for this, but it was worth it. He deserved whatever his punishment will be.
But the sad, smiling man knew. He knew. In the moment where he had the life of a monster in his hands and now as well. He knew.
Commander Fox of the Coruscant Guard is a monster and a murderer.
For the life he took today and every other life that had met its end at his hands. Whether he did it consciously or not.
And his vode -his aliit- might hate him, shun him, banish him.
But Fox-
Fox was at peace with that.
Translation:
vode - siblings
demagolka - someone who commits atrocities, real-life monster, a war criminal
There were various pictures flowing behind his eyelids, colourful and telling of a story, CC-1010 was not familiar with. Although they were blurry with the speed they flashed by, what they meant was unmistakable.
CC-1010 didn’t know why he saw them, but they stole his attention and he couldn’t look away.
Pictures of white walls, creatures with long necks and big, round, black eyes, their entire body long and slim. Brothers, older and younger than him, looking up to him and out for him, rolling their eyes at his silliness. Arms thrown over his shoulders, bringing him in closer for a hug, with joyous smiles directed at him. Helping hands and soothing kisses. Secret stories told in the dark and stifled laughter, going behind their instructor’s backs. Brotherly teasing and protective shields.
Of brothers in arms, living and not having a single care in the world.
Pictures of fire and ashes, sand walls and creatures with small wings. Droids attacking, shooting at his brothers. Jedis fighting and dying, overrun by the enemy. Vode coming as backup, but dying all around him, getting hit by stray fire and falling to the floor, never standing back up, their last breath and actions forgotten, the war getting more recognition and letting the first real battle fall into its shadow.
Of the end of the only life he knew and the beginning of his own sorrow.
Pictures of a planet, layers upon layers, people living their lives there. On the outer layer, buildings, reaching into the sky, and lights twinkling in the night and a temple, standing peaceful and proud amongst the hectic life around it. Him, along with many of his vode’ika, protecting their home planet, watching their vode leave for battles they might never return from. Him, standing amongst people with ridiculous getups, shooting to save them and the citizens of the planet, while getting almost no gratitude. So many of them alive, but other brothers fighting on different planets, losing their lives and nobody, except their vode and maybe their jedis, caring about their sacrifices.
Of him staying alive, when his vode died every single minute.
Pictures of his vode turning their backs on him, giving him the cold shoulder and ignoring his existence, except for when it was convenient for them. Spitting words of hate at him and fury burning behind their eyes. Getting headaches and losing memories, feeling as if he lost important time.
Of a time, everyone began to hate him and he started to feel isolated and self-hatred.
Pictures of a safe place. Protective arms and soothing words. Warm eyes and a strong shield. Hidden glances and stolen kisses. An escape from the sick world around them. Words of protection and love muttered between their spaces, as their fingers traced maps of secret pathways on his skin. Steady hands, keeping him grounded. Dark brown skin and even darker, longer hair, but eyes shining bright with love and admiration and face markings more golden than the brightest sun. A body, taller and more muscular than his own, and a stronger mind, surer of themselves and screaming of confidence. But never forcing him to do anything he wouldn’t want to and never leaving him when everything got too much. Always there for him, accepting and supporting him, and unbreakable, unyielding love. Even when he started to lose his own mind, thinking too much about the time lost and hate at him, with frayed edges in his broken mind from unseen mind-manipulation. The pure and genuine love felt between them too earnest and too strong to break.
Of an escape to a safe world, whispered words of love and shared plans of the future.
Pictures of a joyous world, falling to pieces and losing everything he ever thought to know. Telling a life, he once lived, where everything was burning down but he had a singular place to escape to, protecting him. But then it all came crashing down, burying him in his mistakes and making him live a life he couldn’t object against. Surrounded by vanishing love and brothers that never wanted anything to do with him and people who thought they were better than him.
Of a lie he was told was his life.
The pictures began to speed up, mixing up with others, making CC-1010 feel dizzy, until they came to an abrupt halt. Their colours mixed into one bright, white light, blinding him.
Suddenly it got hard to breath. He started to lose his senses, the only thing that stayed were the bright light and a singular shrill echoing in his ears.
And suddenly, CC-1010 woke up.
It was as if a switch was turned on, one moment he was on his knees and dying, the next he was laying on a stone floor, awake and very alive.
At first, it confused him, but then his memories flowed back, and he scrambled up hastily, breathing hard and eyes blazing in hurt and confusion.
He was sent on a mission, nothing special, just scouting on a rocky planet, looking for what happened to one of their older bases after it was forgotten and left alone after so many years not used. He was sent alone, after all, he only had to make sure it was still standing and usable.
As soon as he saw his destination from his cockpit, however, he knew that wasn’t the case. The only thing left of the base were ruins, itself and the land around it destroyed and burned to a crisp.
His mission was over before it began, but CC-1010 didn’t leave right away. He didn’t know why, but there was something drawning him in, and he wanted to know what. Before he could change his mind, he was already landing his ship and made his way out.
He looked around the ruins, but nothing was there, that could help him with his search. He decided to return to his ship but then got ambushed. Before he knew what happened, he was hit by a spell and fell to the floor.
Then the pictures appeared.
But CC-1010 didn’t care about his mission. What he cared about were the pictures and what they meant.
They told him a life he once participated in and that he lost. They gave him the answers he seeked for, back when he wasn’t CC-1010.
But all of that didn’t matter right now to him.
He fell to his knees, squeezed his eyes shut. His mind was screaming in pain and anger and he let the empty planet hear it, as he opened his mouth. His entire body felt numb, except for his brain and heart.
He was crying, screaming for everything he lost and the pain he felt.
Screaming himself hoarse as he wept for his brothers and their jedi, for his jetii.
For the love lost and time never regained.
He cradled his heart, curling into a protective ball around it and touched the ground with his forehead.
He screamed in pain, even if it wasn’t real and he had no visible wounds.
Fox screamed and cried.
For everything he had lost. Whether it was the friends and family, dreams and wishes, opportunities and chances, something else. Love and time.
As much as CC-1010 wondered about his former life, Fox never wanted him to experience it. But with the returning memories came the emotions.
His heart bled, hurt oozing out of it along every drop of blood. His mind was screaming out in anger, but his heart was crying in pain. The hurt was crippling and he wanted it gone. He wanted it gone, to join his vode who had their own free will and to join his lover. To join them in the realm nobody could hurt him anymore, wanted to join them in kyr’am so badly.
Fox screamed and cried, for the love lost and time never regained. Tearing himself up about what he could have done and didn’t do, and ultimately, killed them all single-handedly through those decisions.
It was dark. The only light in the room came from a table lamp, the blinds and door closed tight. The lamp shone on the table and made a shadow appear behind the person bent over it.
It was quiet. No outside noises passed through the thick door or the shut windows overlooking the coruscanti night. The only sound was coming from the ticking chrono and lamp, as well as the one person in the room. Tapping on screens, writing something on flimsi, the occasional shuffling of flimsi or foot beating a rhythm on the floor.
It was peaceful, but inside Commander Fox’ head it was as loud as a thunderstorm.
He had been working on flimsiwork since before midnight. Although he had already finished his own, the chancellors -that he oh-so-gratefully had handed off to Fox- was more important and complicated than originally thought, which was why he was still on it. Normally he would have stopped by now, but the flimsiwork had to be ready by 0800 sharp. So, Fox gracefully offered up his few, precious hours of sleep, to once again save Coruscant.
At least he only had ten more documents to go through.
Groaning, he raised his head and had to blink furiously when he looked right into the lamp, too bright for the late hour.
Speaking of late hour, Fox turned his head to look at the chrono positioned next to the lamp to look at the time.
04:39
It was karking 04:39. Fox had been doing flimsiwork for more than five hours.
He wanted to cry.
Instead, he bonked his head down on his table and let out a long and loud groan, similar to a sob, and squeezed his eyes shut. Still, a few tears escaped.
Taking in a few deep breaths, he looked back up at the chrono.
04:40
Oh for-
Exhaling harshly and closing his eyes in frustration, Fox took in another deep breath. He then opened his eyes and breathed out slowly at the same time.
Time for those last ten documents.
He worked through them diligently, but eventually, he was done.
By then it was 05:10.
But he was still not finished.
Fox stood up and heard a satisfying crack in his back. Rolling his shoulders and neck helped losing some of the tenseness gathered there.
He sorted the chancellors flimsiwork into the right order needed and then walked out of his office to get to the chancellors, opened it and put the flimsiwork down on the table. Already turning to get out of the office and closing the door, he stopped. Then walked up to the big windows acting as one wall. When Fox looked out, he overlooked a good portion of the coruscanti senator district, twinkling in the night. It was peaceful, the population there still sleeping, but a few unfortunate souls already had to get up or were outside. Some of the lower grounds of Coruscant, however, were still alive and alight. Had been the entire night. Like always.
And just like always, Fox wished he were down there instead of up here.
Focusing on his reflection, Fox saw how exhausted he really was. His curly hair stuck up ridiculously in all directions after he’d went through them with his fingers and tried to pull them out because of his frustrations. His skin unhealthily pale instead of its warm brown. The hollow of his cheeks and eyes only accentuated the shadows on his face. Somehow, his impossibly large eyebags had only gotten bigger.
He looked like a ghost and felt like one too.
Sighting deeply, he dragged himself back to his own office.
He was grateful he didn’t come across any guards patrolling. Concerned brothers was the last thing he needed, especially if it was because of him.
Although his unbelievably uncomfortable chair was the worst possible place for it, he was about ready to collapse in it, and stumbled into the room to do exactly that.
And froze immediately.
Everything was the same as he had left it. He was wearing his armour, but he had left his bucket on one side of the table. Opposite of it was the lamp, still shining annoyingly bright light into the room, and the ticking chrono, the still empty coffee machine next to his table. The windows and blinds were still closed. The chair he had previously occupied is still in its askew position and his own flimsiwork was stacked into one tower on the middle of the table. Even the two visitor chairs in front of the table were in the position Thorn had left them hours ago.
Everything was the same as he had left it.
Except for one thing.
Sprawled in one of the guest chairs sat Quinlan Vos, professional pain Fox’ shebs, twiddling his fingers together and looking around the small office nervously.
The moment he realized Fox had come through the door, he stopped fidgeting immediately and looked up at Fox, who was staring right back at him.
Breaking the silence that grew between them, Quinlan quickly stood up and cleared his throat, wanting to say something.
But Fox beat him to it.
“What are you doing here?”, he asked it confused, the question only amplified by his dumbstruck and slightly worried expression.
Quinlan only smiled placidly at Fox and walked up to him, grabbing one of his hands. He closed the door behind them and lead Fox into the middle of the room.
“I wanted to surprise you”, Quinlan shrugged and smirked at him.
“Watch and listen”, he added in a low tone and let go of Fox’ hand.
As he turned around, Fox reached back out for him, but quickly lowered his hand against his chest, when he saw him walking behind his table.
Carefully Quinlan put the stack of flimsi out of the way so he could set up a machine, originally hidden under the table.
An old phonograph. A really old one, by the looks of it.
Confused, Fox sidled up to the record player.
“Where did you get this?”
Quinlan had his back turned to him while he opened the blinds a bit. Through the slits shone a few rays of early sunlight, drowning the room in a variety of red, yellow and pink tones.
He then turned around, put out the lamp and a disc on the turntable.
“Lower Coruscant. Now, come on!”
He jogged excitedly around the table and Fox and pulled the visitor chairs to the sides.
There was now a significantly empty place in the middle of his office. Suspicious.
Quinlan turned around giddily, took a hold of Fox’ hands once again and lead him into the middle of the room.
He pulled Fox in closer to touch their foreheads together and closed his eyes.
Not having quite caught up to what was about to happen, it caught Fox by surprise when music slowly started to flow out of the phonograph.
In tune with the slow and melodic tunes, Quinlan started swaying.
And with him, Fox as well.
At the same time as the singer started singing, Quinlan started humming.
It took Fox a moment to figure out how Quinlan knew exactly what came next, but when he did, he felt himself melting and smiling lovingly, his shocked expression melting into a smitten one.
It was the same song they danced to the first time ever. Undercover, they had to dance at a wedding.
The memory was one of Fox’ fondest.
Fox finally closed his eyes.
Kriff, how absolutely in love he was with this jedi. His jetii.
They spent so much time together, Fox had no problem guiding his hands to Quinlan’s face and capturing his cheeks, all the while his eyes were closed.
Since Quinlan now had his own empty, he looped them around Fox’ waist and pulled him even closer.
The song ended.
But instead of stopping altogether, it started anew.
Fox’ smile deepened at that.
Both still swaying to the music and their eyes closed, they lived in their own little world, with them and only them in it.
Normally, Fox didn’t like to dance. Don’t understand him wrong, when he was younger, he’d often liked to dance with his vode, but then the war had started, he didn’t get to see them a lot anymore and got swarmed in duties. The only time he really got to dance was when he was free of anything, which happened less and less and mostly when he was alone. So, he didn’t really dance anymore. Never mind the fact that the most dances he saw now are from formal events, where he could never enjoy anything.
So, Fox didn’t like to dance.
But this was Quinlan. His cyar’ika.
The person he could honestly see himself loving forever.
And he did always like slow moments with Quinlan when it was just them and nobody else. Especially dancing, however rare those times were. Even if he shouldn’t.
It was one of his guilty pleasures, you could say.
So, Fox let it be. They were alone after all.
No calls or people barging in.
He will enjoy this.
Which is why he did something he rarely did anymore but liked doing anyway.
He didn’t know all the words, but he wouldn’t let that stop him.
Fox started singing.
By this time, the sun had risen quite a bit, the light enveloping the two of them is more yellow and white instead of red and pink.
And yet, as Fox opened his eyes and looked at Quinlan’s peaceful and fond expression, he had never seen anything more stunning.
They never said it to each other, but they both knew the others feelings as well as their own. The love they felt for each other was never said outright but was felt through all their little gestures and smiles, stolen glances and kisses.
Fox had never wanted to say it more than now.
So, he said it in the only way he knew how to in this moment.
He weaved his words of love into the song. Wanted to make his jetii feel them as strongly as Fox did.
The same jedi who now looked at him surprised, but wholly enamoured. The corners of his mouth quirking up, his eyes shone with love and happiness.
Fox looked into the warm brown eyes as he sang the words with as much emotion as he could muster, his voice threatening to break because of it.
It was as if he was admitting a dangerous secret, whispering words of love that only they knew of into the air between them, as Quinlan soaked them up.
Eventually he was lacking behind the song too much to continue any further and had to stop, muttered the last few words as he lost himself in the warm and loving gaze of the man he loved with all his heart.
Fox was feeling too much, didn’t know what to do with all the feelings he currently had, the reason behind the whirlwind of emotions held him in his arms, cradling him flush to his body.
Apparently, he wasn’t the only one though, as Quinlan’s eyes were wide open with emotions, barely able to believe what he just witnessed, and suspiciously wet, his face slack and hardly breathing.
“Fox… “, Quinlan was speechless, “I don’t…”
Knowing he couldn’t put into word what he was feeling, Quinlan huffed and quirked a corner of his mouth up, shaking his head disbelievingly.
“You are amazing”, he muttered, gazing down into Fox’ eyes.
He inched closer, turning his head a little until their lips were only millimetres apart. And when Fox got too distracted by the motion and was following his mouth with his eyes a little too obsessively, Quinlan closed the distance between them.
The song started anew and the rest of Coruscant was waking up.
But neither Fox nor Quinlan registered anything as they were still in their own little world.
Kissing each other tenderly like they were afraid the moment could shatter if they were to move too fast or sudden. Holding each other tight. Fox’ hands on Quinlan’s cheeks, guiding their faces and Quinlan’s own hands cradling Fox to himself. Scared that if they let go of each other, the other would disappear.
And when Fox would eventually pull millimetres away, he’d murmur into the others mouth, their lips touching and eyes still closed, a silent, wordless “I love you.”
Quinlan would only touch their foreheads together again and whisper back “Anything for you.”
He would continue holding Fox to him, his hands moving in a regular, comforting movement up and down his back. He would kiss the others forehead and bury his face in the others hair, breathing in the scent of the man he loved the most, while Fox would lay his head under his chin and listen to the comforting heartbeat he could feel just a little bit further down the chest.
Fox would smile and enjoy the moment with his cyar’ika, breaking his own walls down and letting Quinlan feel all of his love and admiration through the force around them, melting away the last remains of the cycle’s stress and making them feel at home.
When that happened, well-
Fox let himself be loved.
Translation:
karking - a huttese expletive
shebs - backside, rear, buttocks; so basically ass
kriff - an expletive
jetii - jedi
vode - siblings; it’s what the clones call each other if you haven’t realized by now
Whoever thought assigning Jedi Master and General Quinlan Vos and Commander Fox of the Coruscant Guard on a mission together was a good idea, ought to think again.
The first interaction they ever had was when they met each other on a mission in the coruscanti underbelly. Both of their solo missions didn’t exactly go the way they wanted them to, so when they realized that the men, they each individually were searching for, were working together, they decided to do so as well. Although the mission only continued to go downhill from there, somehow, they captured their preys.
Ever since then, they came across each other more and more. And every time the commander saw the jedi, he only loathed him more.
They were constantly at each other’s throats and threatening the other. The hate was entirely mutual.
Commander Fox pointedly ignored the fact that he thought that the jedi was actually kind of hot when he got angry and decided to get a little rough. Or that they actually weren’t at each other’s throats all the time and got along quite swimmingly. While they may had argued a lot at the start of their relationship -or whatever this was-, it was now only occasionally. Ever since they kind of got to know each other, they were friendlier. Now Vos smiled and laughed a lot around Fox and spoke in softer tones to him. Or that he actually caught himself genuinely smiling more, however small those smiles were. Or that it always left him feeling warm in the face and made his belly feel weird. Luckily for him, he almost always wore his helmet, so his vode couldn’t notice it when he felt that way -or at least, he hoped so. And for some reason, Vos now came over to his little office as often as he could -which, despite what his vode say, wasn’t daily- and when it was quiet, absolutely not the highlight of a stressful day. They both had a lot of responsibilities and stuff to do. Something else Fox didn’t think about was that Vos knew just what to do, when Fox was in a bad mood and when Fox involuntary smiled in gratitude to him, he always gave a small, reassuring smile back. One that always melted away the last remains of a stressful day and definitely didn’t made Fox feel all light and giddy inside. Or when the roles were reversed, but Vos still came to Fox to get cheered up and all he had to do was hug him, run his fingers through his hair, listen to him talk and smile a little soothing smile that happened automatically now, for some dumb reason.
Commander Fox ignored the fact that he might have a little crush on the jedi for some time now -one that was definitely more than a crush at this point- or that it felt a little bit like a committed relationship sometimes. Which was definitely a lie, didn’t matter what his vode said.
They were just a pair of friends. Nothing more. Fox didn’t know what his vode meant when they said to him very slowly, as if he was a child, that he was repressed. Absolutely no idea. Fox was as straight as that cable over there.
He wisely chose to ignore the cable deciding to get loose at that exact moment and bend in the middle.
They just had a big amount of respect for each other. That was all.
So really, whoever thought assigning Quinlan Vos and Commander Fox on a mission together was a good idea, ought to think again.
This mission could only end in disaster.
Fox would really not be surprised if something would somehow blow up.
The mission in itself wasn’t hard, quite simple in fact, beside the fact that they were on a separatist planet. They only needed to find out some information that only one guy knew. A guy who wasn’t all too fond of jedis or clones.
They already figured out a solution to that problem. They only needed to not look like a jedi or clone, which meant lightsabers and clone faces were hidden. The exact same reason why only Vos would be speaking, as a clone’s voice once heard was relatively recognizable. So, now it was an undercover mission.
Really, it wasn’t the mission that was at fault for the impending disaster at the end. Rather it was the fact that “their guy” currently was in a nightclub. Fox wasn’t even surprised, “their guy” certainly seemed like one of those types. Or the fact that they had to share a bed tonight. Fox really didn’t want to think about how awkward that would be or about the impending doom, once he walked through the nightclub’s doors.
Too bad that this was their best shot at getting the important information.
“This is osik”, Fox muttered to himself and promptly repeated it, when Vos and he walked into the nightclub.
There was a bar at the far back, which had its signs lit up. Lined up on the sides were stalls to sit, eat and drink. In the middle was a stage and dancefloor, currently empty, but Fox saw some people walking up to it, dressed in some skin-showing attire. Music rang out of speakers attached all around them. From what Fox could tell, it sounded like pop, but with some sensual undertones, which served to deepen the atmosphere in the club. It was loud and the air was stuffy.
As soon as Fox walked through the doors, he wanted to get out immediately.
This was definitely not his scene. Unless he was out to drink.
A more precise sweep showed Fox that there were also hallways in the back and sides leading either up, down or deeper into the building. No one seemed to be up to any business unsuitable to their surroundings, but that didn’t say much.
Fox took a secretive glance at their disguises, making sure they blended in perfectly. He tried not think too much about how their costumes made them look like a couple or about how close Vos’ face was to his when he put makeup and similar markings to his own, on Fox and that they build up their entire costumes around those.
Normally Fox loved Vos’ face markings, but tonight he never hated them more.
He already felt his face growing hot and his heartbeat quickening, failing to get his breathing under control when Vos’ hand slipped into one of his and holding on tight.
He quickly looked up again, though, when Vos slightly nudged him and then nodded in a direction.
Fox tried to see what caught the others attention but couldn’t see precisely over the heads of so many people. At his lost look, Vos pulled him into his side and let go of his hand to lay his arm over Fox’ shoulder.
Freezing immediately at the unexpected contact, he tried to follow Vos instructions.
“Over there. 1 o’clock, back to us. Greying hair. With the blue and purple Twi’leks. That’s our guy.”
Normally Fox would have gone into mission-mode by now, however, since Vos’ mumbled so close to him, he could feel the others lips on the shell of his ear. It also didn’t help that Fox swore he saw Vos blushing just a little.
Which might had distracted him a little.
From before and now.
While Vos might have seen the drunken couple coming their way, Fox didn’t and lost his footing when Vos pretty much dragged him out of their way.
And Fox registered everything a little too late.
Before his face could have an embarrassing kiss with the floor, quick and strong hands caught him around the waist and in one swift and elegant twirl, got him standing again.
His body flush against Vos’ and his hands on the jedi’s chest.
Yeah, it was official. This mission was going to end in disaster.
Especially when Fox realized that his and Vos’ faces were millimetres apart and he could feel the others hot breath on his face.
Which definitely didn’t do things to him.
Vos’ eyes stared intently into Fox’ but they were roaming over his face and landing on his lips very quickly.
As much as Fox would like to think about what that meant, they were on a mission and they were already dallying behind enough.
Time to get serious.
Clearing his throat, he muttered, “as much as I appreciate the save, Vos, we really need to get this information”, and wiggled around to get out of Vos’ safe grip on him.
At first Vos didn’t seem to understand his words, but then his eyes cleared up and snapped back to Fox’, letting go of Fox’ waist and clearing his throat as well.
“I- yeah. You’re right. Your welcome for the save, by the way”, he smirked.
Maybe Fox imagined it, but Vos seemed a little disappointed about letting him go.
Before he could ask him about it though, Vos once again laid an arm over his shoulder, turned him around and started walking towards “their guy”.
“Is this alright with you?”
At first Fox didn’t know what Vos was talking about, but he only had to tighten his grip on his shoulder for him to understand.
Ignoring how the touch simultaneously burned and froze him, Fox nodded. He had been ignoring the sensation ever since Vos took a hold of his hands the first time, he could continue to do so for the rest of the night.
By then they reached the table of “their guy” and were standing in front of it, both staring him down.
The table’s three occupants look up at them questionably, but guarded and careful, and scanned them from top to bottom.
At the same time Vos said the guy’s name, Fox hooked a hand around his waist, repeating a mantra in his head to stay professional, calm down and don’t combust, it’s mission time now and don’t think about how you can feel the other’s very nice muscle.
“Their guy” -and wow, Fox was really distracted, he didn’t even catch the guy’s name- was now looking Vos square in the eyes, who only stared evenly back. Apparently, he had decided that Vos was a bigger threat than Fox -which, rude much-, but probably had to do with him actually being the one who said the guy’s name.
After a tense moment, “their guy” squinted his eyes together and must’ve been impressed enough by Vos not reacting to it, to wave away the two Twi’leks and to nod his head, indicating them to sit down.
Now that it was only the three of them, it meant business.
“Their guy” leaned back nonchalantly and mustered them for the third time in a row. Must be thinking that it made him look dangerous, but to Fox it only helped to deepen his speculation about how much of an utreekov “their guy” really was.
He wasn’t impressed, to say the least. Hoped that he expressed it outwardly enough for the guy, who hopefully wasn’t as dumb as he seemed, to catch up on it.
While he was busy thinking about how much of an idiot “their guy” was, he was still looking Vos up and down, who just seemed tired of it.
Fox thought it was about time the silence should be shattered, when “their guy” started talking.
With the most annoying voice he had ever heard.
“What d’ya want?”
Wow, how original. Neither Fox nor Vos were particularly impressed by it.
It was a good idea to let Vos do all the talking, “their guy” only had eyes for him after all, since he was the one who said his name in the first place. Fox didn’t have a problem with that, not at all. He didn’t have the energy to deal with this utreekov. If Vos had it, was to be seen, but at least Fox didn’t have to do anything with “their guy” and could keep his senses out for danger around them. After all, they were on a separatist planet.
Fox let Vos do his thing, only listening into their conversation when Vos squeezed his hand -and since when exactly were they holding hands-, but soon after started to sweep their surroundings again.
At some point “their guy” bought them beverages.
Fox watched the waitress closely as she put down their order, winking at him and leaving. Either she misunderstood his staring, she was working with “their guy” or she thought they were suspicious. Whatever it was, Fox didn’t find it out as she was swallowed by the crowd.
Vos tightened the grip on his hand again, but also pulled him closer. So, it seemed Fox wasn’t the only one who thought that was weird.
He looked around again, trying to find the waitress, but being unsuccessful. Instead his attention switched over to the stage and the performers on it.
It didn’t stay there long. He was too sober for this.
The later it got, the more people came into the nightclub. Not exactly worth much thinking about. However, it also seemed that the couples, who were here longer, either went somewhere else entirely or through one of the hallways. He didn’t have to guess to know to what they lead. Not when a few people didn’t make the entire way over. Fortunately, those were mostly hidden behind the pillars holding this place up.
Yeah, Fox saw some stuff he only ever wanted to see when he was drunk.
He wanted to get out of here.
For once this mission seemed to take pity on him and took his wishes seriously, as both Vos and “their guy” stood up right then.
Quickly, Fox followed suit and walked out of the booth first, the others behind him and sharing a quick nod with each other.
“Well, it was a pleasure doing business with ya.”
And then “their guy” was gone.
Quite concerningly so.
It seemed both Fox and Vos were thinking the same thing. They shared a quick look and immediately went on high alert.
Fox heard a quiet “I have a bad feeling about this” just as the door banged open.
A group of Seperatist army-elite and a droid walked through.
A drunk group of Seperatist army-elite and a droid.
While drunk might’ve been better than sober for them, it was still very dangerous, especially if there was a droid.
Apparently, Vos thought so as well, as he grabbed Fox by his shoulders and dragged him against a pillar, caging him in and hoping the group of separatists wouldn’t become aware of them.
But the group went straight to the bar.
For which they had to walk by the commander and jedi.
Fox realized it a second before Vos did and, knowing they didn’t have time for an elaborate escape, grabbed the other around the waist and crushed him against himself in a tight hug, bodies flush against the other, no distance between them.
Vos went rigid at that, but Fox didn’t notice the move nor how close they were, too focused on the group from his point of view with his face buried into the others neck.
Luck was on their side this time. The group was currently too busy getting their drinks and finding a place to sit, the droid talking to another one behind the bar, to notice them.
After a while Fox’ hands loosened around the others waist and he lifted his head ever-so-slightly to watch over Vos shoulder at the same.
When he was sure they weren’t in any immediate danger, he shifted so he could look at Vos.
Who was already staring at him with a hot intensity.
Fox felt not only his cheeks, but his entire body grow hot and he wet his suddenly very dry lips.
He might not had been sure of it before, but Vos was definitely putting his entire attention on that one movement. Fox was close enough to him to feel his hot breaths shuddering for a moment and to see his pupils dilating.
Suddenly Fox became very aware of their position and how close they were, their bodies practically touching everywhere, fitting into each other perfectly.
But Fox didn’t mind. Not this time.
Slowly his hands strayed from their position around Vos’ waist to his face, softly taking a hold of his cheeks and stroking the stripe over his nose.
Vos’ eyes closed and his breaths shuddered again. It was confirmation enough for Fox and he pulled Vos close to himself slowly and with care, his eyes taking in every inch of the others face until it was so close, it was blurry and their noses touched. That was when Fox closed his eyes as well, turned his head at just the right angle for their mouths to fit into each other perfectly.
But they stop millimetres in front of each other. Fox’ lips were trembling, but Vos’ were still and sure of themselves.
Wanting to comfort the other and to tell him it was alright -that they were alright- Vos closed the small distance between them himself.
And Fox felt, for the first time in a long time. Fox felt alive.
His entire body was burning, his heart was beating too fast and loud -it was a wonder Vos didn’t hear it- and his head felt light, not capable of thinking of anything.
Of nothing at all, except for Vos in front of him.
Only Vos, whose hands changed places to his hips and was cradling and kissing him like Fox was the only thing keeping him alive.
Fox threw his arms over the other’s shoulders, hands in his hair, holding on tighter and tighter every passing second.
Fox felt alive and like himself.
He didn’t want to stop, but eventually, one had to breath. So, he pulled back, but his grip stayed strong, and pushed forward again, only this time forehead to forehead, opening his eyes and breathing hard.
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do this.”
Fox didn’t know who muttered it into the small distance between them, but he didn’t care.
Quinlan, breathing hard as well, opened his eyes and gave Fox a chuckle and small smile, full of love and admiration.
And Fox let it wash over him.
The panic could wait. Right now, Fox just wanted to be in this moment.
Maybe having to share a bed after this won’t be such a bad idea.
Fox laughed a little at that thought and shook his head, smiling at Quinlan’s questioning look.
