Sharpiemyshoe

I am in whole fuckton of fandoms. Fandoms, feminism, and video games. And what ever strikes my fancy.

[gay-tm]

[fullcirclecrazy]

I’m imagining the epilouge but with Neville’s kid instead of Harry’s.

[hogwartskidsproblems]

Sensibly Named Child: Dad, what if the hat puts me in Slytherin?

Neville: Then it means you really are a Slytherin. Do you have any idea how hard I begged to be a Hufflepuff? How hard I argued with the hat against Gryffindor? And you know what, it turns out the hat was right and I pulled the sword out of the hat and killed the snake. It’s a magical hat and you’re an eleven year old who thinks Axe works to attract girls. You know nothing, listen to the hat.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

i can’t stop thinking about that post about spiderman having a patreon. would he have benefit tiers? $1 guarantees weekly videos of him doing backflips somewhere Very Up High. Monthly goal is his rent with a promise like “if i have the bare minimum a human being needs to survive i guess I can keep fighting crime which is cool. mutually beneficially.” rumor has it that once someone sent him $1000 directly on ko-fi and he showed up at a birthday party but who knows.

$1 Access to Spiderman’s snapchat.

[heydocverdant]

Spider-Man seems like the kinda guy to show up to a kid’s birthday party solely to surprise children and eat cake, so whoever allegedly paid $1000 to do what he probably was already planning to do is either very kind or a fool

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

oh no he crashes children’s birthday parties all the time and gets party favor baggies. this was a 21st birthday party which was very stressful bc he kept stumbling over trying to politely refuse drinks bc he’s a good kid but while also not revealing he’s legally too young to drink

[heydocverdant]

Even better: just… a montage of Spidey’s excuses for why he can’t drink

“Sorry guys, can’t drink and swing”

“I’m, uh, the designated web-slinger!”

“I actually just finished consuming the liquified remains of a few carjackers, so I’m good thanks”

“…i can’t risk it harming my eggsac?”

“…no mouth”

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

NO MOUTH

[nudityandnerdery]

As a culture, I think we need to come together and agree:

“Wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey” is a fine phrase for explaining timeline weirdness, but “Jeremy Bearimy” is the superior concept in all ways.

[feministism]

[revolutions-moved-deactivated20]

me at 9 pm: got a big day tomorrow. better hit the hay 

me at 2 am: 

[thatgirlmustbeawesome]

What’s so bad about periods

[linzerfish]

At first I was like “no don’t reblog it’ll weird people out” then I was like “oh right that’s the point”

[homolesbians]

[kittyinhighheels]

STOP INCLUDING CRAMPS THAT MAKE YOU PASS OUT IN THESE LISTS AS IF THEY WERE NORMAL

THEY ARE NOT

IF YOUR CRAMPS ARE THIS BAD AND YOU’RE NOT A TEENAGER, SEE A DOCTOR

I REPEAT: THEY ARE NOT NORMAL. YOU COULD ACTUALLY BE ILL

YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO PASS OUT FROM YOUR PERIOD CRAMPS

[fluidityandgiggles]

I actually passed out at the start of my period a couple of times and three years ago I found out I have polycystic ovaries, but yknow. What’s so bad about periods.

[aglionby]

[moovingonup]

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

@lesbianspaceprincess WE ARE BLESSED to live in a world where Sue Perkins exists :D

[priestessamy]

Got that “Professor that everyone, and I mean everyone, has a crush on” aesthetic

[femmedilemma]

just take me now

[theslaybymic]

What it’s like to be slut-shamed when buying birth control

Even when pharmacists do let people access contraception, whether emergency contraception or condoms or prescription birth control pills, the process isn’t always free of judgment. In a series of recent online discussions, people across the country have begun to share stories of the stigma they’ve experienced. As many have pointed out, this can be especially damaging to teens.

[roseykins]

DO YOU SEE THIS? PHARMACY EMPLOYEES IN THE U.S. ARE NOT LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DO THIS. THAT GOES FOR THE PEOPLE AT THE FRONT AS WELL AS PEOPLE IN WHITE COATS BEHIND THE CAGE.

If an employee in a pharmacy makes a snide comment - Front store workers, pharmacists, or Pharmacy Techs give you shit? Gently (Or not so gently) remind them that the waiver they signed upon being hired legally binds them from commenting on your purchase, as it is a violation of privacy laws. Doing so is grounds for INSTANT termination and hefty fines.

Pharmacy workers (white coats) are legally obligated to ASK if you need an explanation of how medication works and any side effects, any medication conflicts etc. If you decline, THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED AT ALL TO MAKE SNIDE REMARKS OR FARTHER COMMENT ON YOUR PURCHASE. FRONT STORE EMPLOYEES CAN NOT AT ALL COMMENT IN ANY WAY, IN ANY STORE WITH A PHARMACY IN IT.

Know your rights. If this shit happens? Call them the fuck out and ask to speak to a manager. Get worked up. Cause a scene. Threaten a Lawsuit. If you see this happening to someone else, and they seem to be struggling, speak up for them. 

As a Pharmacy worker, you bet your ass I’ll protect you and your privacy. IT’S MY JOB.

[save-me-grunkle-ford]

REBLOG THIS

I DONT CARE WHAT YOUR BLOG IS

THIS IS SOMETHING EVERYONE SHOULD SEE

[bearimy-dot]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Hiatus Creations:

week five → captain raymond holt

“C’mon, sir. The math thing isn’t the problem. Night shift’s keeping you and Kevin apart. You two just need to bone.”— s04.ep08 | Skyfire Cycle

[awed-frog]

By the way, just in case this helps someone -

COOKING - creativity is okay

BAKING - stick to the recipe (you can usually adjust sugar content to taste, though)

BREAD - wait for the right weather conditions (or engineer them), be one assertive and self-confident motherfucker because dough can feel it if you aren’t, a blood sacrifice probably helps, trust the gods 

[thepioden]

PASTRY - your God is dead, the god of gluten and madness is risen, abandon all hope ye who enter here

[hannahscribbles]

well that’s fairly accurate

[anagram-of-satan-deactivated201]

As a cook, I can tell you that is pretty on the nose.

[melonmemes]

[weaks]

i Still cant believe sneaking out is an Actual thing that teenagers Do

[weaks]

this is just so unrealistic to me like what the fuck how do yall do it??? i have Arguments and Questions

1. like what am i supposed to do if i live in a building??? do i just wait for the elevator?? do i take the stairs?? mind me there could be a Lot of stairs 2. how THE FUCK do yall manage to do all this shit without waking anyone up?? this is So Fake!! if i so much as sneeze into my pillow my mom will come into my room and see if my ass is okay and then complain that i woke her up 3. HOW THE FUCK DONT YOUR PARENTS REALIZE YALL ARE GONE?? AND HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO COME BACK?? WHAT THE FUCK!! 4. if my mom found out that id been going places in the middle of the night u bet your ass id be dead the next day 5. i dont believe in this concept At All

[bitcherovas-deactivated20180903]

i mean i guess it’s possible the way american houses are built but it’s still a bit far fetched imo but yea growing up in Puerto Rico in an urbanizacion it was like lmao you can’t sneak out in a house like that. first of all our windows are miami style of whatever, second of all there’s only 1 functioning door (technically our house had 2 but 1 of them had potted plants on both sides so it was never used but in any case both were on the same side of the house), and the house is so small like you would hear someone opening and closing it. plus you just know at least 1 person on your street would be up and would spill that piping hot tea to your parents the next day.

[thisiswhymomworries]

so my sister snuck out of the house one night because we live in an old house in the country that’s always creaking and “settling” which, good news: is perfect for sneaking out because there’s always weird noises anyway; bad news: we’re in the middle of the woods and there’s always creepy fucking noises

but hey, what are white girls gonna do except sneak out at night and through the woods to go have sex with their boyfriends?

what could go wrong??

and I do literally mean through the woods. our driveway is a quarter of a mile long through actual wooded area, and she wasn’t smart enough to grab a flashlight. but she could sort of see the headlights of her boyfriend’s car at the very end so it wasn’t so bad going down to be picked up

except when she got dropped off, she had to make the trip back up the driveway, through the dark scary woods, with no light whatsoever, at like 3 am or some other Gonna Get White Girl Murdered time

and she was high as fuuuuuuuuuuck

so she’s creeping her way back up the driveway, trying to move slow or else she’ll fall off the ground and get lost in the sky forever. really fucking high

then she steps on a frog

because we also have a 3 acre “pond” like our property isn’t fucking creepy enough already and my first-time-to-ever-be-high sister stepped on a FROG and apparently it both squished and belched, and keep in mind that with no light whatsoever she doesn’t know what the fuck just happened AT ALL

I wake up to a series of frantic text messages

hlp he lp HEL

dont’ tell momd and dad

i jsut murdered somtheing

also, just for context, this is also the sister that pierced her own ears and gave herself a stick’n’poke tattoo with a lighter and my mom’s sewing needle because she “got restless” and picked a fight with a girl two grades above, half a foot taller, and probably a hundred pounds heavier AND WON

(it doesn’t matter if you’re smol if you get ‘em on the ground and get on top)

anyway

so waking up to an “I just murdered something” text from her was … actually kind of inevitable. siblings are either ride or die or no officer I’ve never seen that person before, and that night, I decided I was ride or die

so then I take MY dumb white girl ass out into the woods in the middle of the night, but at least I’m smart enough to take a flashlight. sister had already texted me she was “onthe driveways” but again, that’s a quarter mile journey

finally I arrive at the scene of the crime

sister: sitting in the gravel, crying, makeup a Mess

frog: laying still beside her, looking like a slightly smaller Jabba the Hut

she points at the frog and sobs that it’s a heart. obviously a frog. a fucking BIG ASS frog, but still. I’m relieved, but also super pissed, because I drug myself out of bed, snuck out too, and dangled my sumptuous human body in front of all the Forest Monsters on my way down here and there isn’t even a fucking body

just a frog, which I pick up to show her is not a heart, and turns out to only be stunned! not dead! still very much alive and full of pee!!

so it pisses all over me and slimes out of my hand, escaping into the night

also, I totally held my sister’s hand with my Piss Hand as I led her back home because she deserved it

[mias-back-from-the-dead]

this was a goddamned journey

[sabertoothwalrus]

6. why wouldn’t you rather just sleep

[cryoverkiltmilk]

the journey came home

[4vengersmarvel]

[cat-lover-1001]

This is what we call friendship

[p1ss]

[ejacutastic]

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

[biszumletzten]

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

[demonsnakes-deactivated20160829]

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY