Rules of the run!No switching crest (duh)Can claim other crests to do 100% completion but MUST switch ASAP. Avoid getting sent to slab.
Im gonna start streaming again! i beat silksong act 3 and 100%ed a file. Now that i want to try another playthrough, since i never messed with beast crest throughout my first run, the beast crest is going to the ONLY crest i use throughout it!
It will be streamed (almost) every day at 9:30pm EST until however long into night i can manage!
Okay NOW.
Rules of the run!
No switching crest (duh)
Can claim other crests to do 100% completion but MUST switch ASAP.
Avoid getting sent to slab at all costs.
We wont restart if we do accidently end up there, but it will be back to beast crest the second we can have one again.
Other than that? Pretty simple!
(the quality got fucking NUKED for some reason and i cant figure out why)
Might make a part two, it will require much more new art though, since this also is partly a video cameos funny. Do let me know who should be added to next lineup
Current planed line up:
1. Spiff 2. Flint (maybe steel in the same shot) 3. Silver 4. Willa 5. Hunter 6. Rowan 7. Sugar
How was Autumns dependence on those around him while he was a child and what was the moment/ series of moments he realized how much he depended only on himself
He learned very fast to not depend on anyone.
As was the nature of spending your first formative months of ife on the streets.
No one cares for you when you are a misspawn. They all think you are a waste of space, so why would they help you.
Once Sugar found him, on the edge of freezing to death, she took him home and gave him all of the bare necessities. That when he started maybe changing that point of view.
Sorta.
He was hesitant to trust sugar. And once he did, he cared too much about her to “burden her with his unnecessary troubles”. His self worth was horrible and he was very self isolating. So he often would hide wounds from getting beat up while doing grocery runs for Sugar.
Sugar knew he hid wounds. He wore long sleeves in the summer and in a hot bakery, no one does that simply because it’s comfortable. But she didn’t want to call it out. Autumn needed to tell her on his own terms, she wasn’t going to interrogate him.
The thing is? Autumn just… never did. He never went to her with issues until they blew up and he’s a sobbing broken mess and she’s rushing in to help. He tried to handle everything on his own because he felt like he was too much of a burden on her.
There weren’t really moments where he realized that he depended only on himself in a “I’m self aware” way. But there were moments of “this is why I need to be self dependent”.
The first was getting thrown out of the first place he’d been taken in to.
Sugar never coming back is the second.
Rust leaving Flurmere is the third.
At that point, it was a solid brick foundation you couldn’t shake. But it’s moments where he lets his guard down, lets himself depend on others, and then gets the rug pulled from underneath him that reenforces the mentality.
as per an earlier post abt silver + autumn, it begins with a picture of a sword and a crown sitting on top (with glasses inside the crown if im not mistaken, could be seeing that wrong tho) what is with the crown? is it for silver or autumn? because ik usually ur videos start with a picture that has something to show who's who/the dynamic of the video and figured that was this
The crown is Silver. This video is the only other time ive used something to symbolize him. And it’s always with a crown.
Now, clearly autumns glasses is self explanatory for the one on the right. Glasses = This video will involve Autumn! But why a sword for the one on the left? Autumns involved in that one too, why not his glasses?
Well. It’s to specify that it involves Knight/REVO Autumn. The video/comic does apply to early years though. (And no there aren’t glasses in the left one at all, I debated it, but opted to go for just a sword)
Autumn being represented by a sword in general is a marker of him working for Silver, when he’s AROUND Silver. The sword is also representative of what Autumn is in Silvers eyes. Autumn is His Knight. The colors of the sword and crown also help you associate them to the proper characters.
Plus. There’s a Sword dick joke one could make and since the crown is hanging on it that means the sword is inside it and—
Oh and here, Have this one that’s for a vid plan I’m working on drawing out next. Ponder it.
Now that the video it was for has been put up. It’s time to talk about the warning card.
As previously established, the Crown is used to symbolize Silver, and the Sword is used to symbolize Autumn.
And as some may also know:
Positioning of the objects can matter (Sam projecting his experiences onto Autumn, and Hark projecting his experiences onto Spice)
***COUGH***
And so can the physical state of the objects (ie Autumns glasses being cracked on the side that Autumns head hit the ground when he committed suicide, as if the glasses were… Dropped)
With that being said.
The Crown (Silver) is on top of the sword (Autumn). And there’s blood that is purple (a color of blood associated with Autumn) on the sword and the area around it, starting from under the crown. And, the sword is flat on the ground, not stuck vertically in the ground in a intimidating fashion.
And… so, how that correlates to the video contents: The warning card is a symbolic glimpse into the details of what took place that was alluded to at the end of the video.
Funny how Sam had been right about Autumn having experienced rape and assault. It was just, by the wrong person.
I also want to talk about how Autumn has never once talked about what happened with Silver. Not post-REVO (I’ll refer to it as RECO from here on) when Silver is dead. Rise tries to get Autumn to open up, and he almost does! But when he asked to talk, she’d become too busy for it. So he just smiles and says it’s fine and it was nothing anyway.
And not even with Spice.
In RECO, Autumn does talk to other people sometimes and agrees with them when they start ranting about how shitty of a ruler Silver had been. But when he ever tried to insinuate that Silver had his reasons for becoming what he did, Autumn is jabbed with a “of course you’d think that, you were one of his enforcers.” Or “you’re DEFENDING him??”
If he ever ranted about how he’d been threatened with his life and brothers’ lives, people rush to comfort him and tell him that Silver is vile and horrible and that Autumn should feel no sense of guilt about Silver because he got what he deserved. So he doesn’t feel he could mention how he felt understood by Silver, how he misses Silver and the actual enjoyment of time with someone who was the closest to an equal he found, without being told “why do you feel that way?? He hurt you so much, any good times were just manipulation”
So, he doesn’t talk about how he misses Silver. How he’s actively griefing Silver. How he hated but also loved him. Because how dare he ever feel two conflicting things at once. If he talks about the bad, people dismiss his feelings about the good. If he talks about the good, people dismiss he went through the bad.
That means he’s isolated. He has no one to talk to while dealing with the grief from losing the one person he felt he could be honest around, who won’t also dismiss that he’d been abused. Hes left alone to deal with a mess of trauma and grief all on his own, while also dealing with the feelings of failing Flame, Sam avoiding him, and Rise growing up to be a very busy adult that has no time for him despite wanting to spend time with him. The family he relied on to feel he has purpose to go on, no longer needs him. And the person who made him feel like he wasn’t worthless is dead and Autumn now feels lost without him.
It’s no wonder that no mater which timeline, SASS or RECO, Autumn still kills himself.
And it’s only once Autumn is dead that Rise learns just how much Autumn did to try to protect them from the effects of Silvers rule. Because all that time alone left Autumn to turn to journaling again, and he wrote down everything he remembered about his life along with how he felt currently.
And Rise, doesn’t know what to do with this information. They are the one who saw the effects the most growing up. The passive observer and the one that saw when Autumn came home looking Bothered. Heard Autumn break down sobbing at the kitchen table when he thought everyone was asleep. Who even walked in on as a young child when Autumn was carving into himself for his fabricated story. Rise in both timelines thinks she walked in on Autumn trying to kill himself while her and Big were being basically babysat by the smithy trio.
They are hit the hardest by Autumns suicide in RECO. Partly because she was the one who found him slowly suffocating from having crushed his chest in.
but also because of all the guilt from seeing bits and pieces, the signs of Autumns suffering for them all, and not knowing what it obviously was going to lead to.
:) Autumn and his experiences with everyone around him is such a wonderfully complex mess to dissect.
When someone has complete power over you, what else can you say but what they want to hear?
Talk of personal experience under cut.
I had this scene written out a while ago, and the written form is pretty graphic. It’s hard even for me to read.
Especially since I’ve recently had not an exact experience, but one where I didn’t initiate it (I was extremely emotional, and a normal hug to comfort me was turned into a Not Normal hug.) and I didn’t feel I could have said no because I was 200 miles from home. My Body said yes, but didn’t really want to and then wasn’t able to have defended myself (due to how my body makes me get sleepy and floppy. +my head becomes so foggy that it’s hard to form sentences) if there had been malicious intent.
It felt extremely coerced. That specific instance felt extremely coerced because I was outright sobbing prior. And it made me fall into a bad coping mechanism of using sex to stop thinking about stressful things.
I was not raped, and I wouldn’t personally call it assault because I was the one who up and traveled the two hundred miles to have sex with the guy. That specific instance (there was very enjoyed instances earlier in the day) was a really terrifying sexual experience due to being lifted up into a koala hug (a display of strength), then sat down in a lap and “accidentally” sexually stimulated. And it hasn’t stopped sticking to me.
as per an earlier post abt silver + autumn, it begins with a picture of a sword and a crown sitting on top (with glasses inside the crown if im not mistaken, could be seeing that wrong tho) what is with the crown? is it for silver or autumn? because ik usually ur videos start with a picture that has something to show who's who/the dynamic of the video and figured that was this
The crown is Silver. This video is the only other time ive used something to symbolize him. And it’s always with a crown.
Now, clearly autumns glasses is self explanatory for the one on the right. Glasses = This video will involve Autumn! But why a sword for the one on the left? Autumns involved in that one too, why not his glasses?
Well. It’s to specify that it involves Knight/REVO Autumn. The video/comic does apply to early years though. (And no there aren’t glasses in the left one at all, I debated it, but opted to go for just a sword)
Autumn being represented by a sword in general is a marker of him working for Silver, when he’s AROUND Silver. The sword is also representative of what Autumn is in Silvers eyes. Autumn is His Knight. The colors of the sword and crown also help you associate them to the proper characters.
Plus. There’s a Sword dick joke one could make and since the crown is hanging on it that means the sword is inside it and—
Oh and here, Have this one that’s for a vid plan I’m working on drawing out next. Ponder it.
Since its pride month, and right now I’m fixated on Autumn and Silver—
RAMBLE TIME about Autumn and Silvers Romantic and Sexual attractions and gender identities!
Okay so Autumn is Lithoromantic, and a sex favorable Asexual. He is also a trans man, and intersex.
During his time in fluremere, he has no NAMED knowledge of sex (he knows it exists for other races but not for his own, or so he thought) and Porcilavains don’t really name their attractions. So he doesn’t ever really figure out his Orientations and presence or lack of presence of different attractions.
All he knows is that he feels one way towards his brothers and Sugar, an absolute fucking mess of a way towards Silver, and then something similar to how he felt about Silver but about Spice instead.
Autumn feels romantic attraction only when it’s non-reciprocative. And he knows both Silver and Spice don’t reciprocate. So he has a boat load of love and romance feelings and he either A, tears himself apart over it because “WHY DO I FEEL THIS LONGING AND WARM AFFECTION FOR SUCH A HORRIBLE MAN” (w/Silver) Or B, he also tears himself apart over it because “I have no right to have these feelings, I am not worthy of the warm joyful feelings being around him gives me”
He’s a mess. He would not be interested in partaking in traditionally romantic acts. Again, if there’s reciprocal romantic feelings, his romantic feelings fade. He loves in ways that are hard to put to words and for anyone and everyone to comprehend.
Now. Sex. No one is attractive for him, he can acknowledge that someone may be sexy to this other races standards but he shrugs and walks away. But Shaw! He regularly has sex with people when he’s outside flurmere and is often extremely sexually flirty!
Autumn seeks out sex for two reasons; sex is pleasurable, and he sees it as way for him to barter.
The person doesn’t matter, he does consider the shadiness and germ factor, but the gender and the attractiveness isn’t a factor for him.
One could call him an Asexual Sex worker. Which really sums up his relationship with the act of sex.
Now, his relationship with gender and being Intersex.
He considers himself trans because a majority of his body looking the way it did and his voice sounding the way it does got him called Female. This feels very wrong to him. But he mainly feels dysphoria about his chest, not necessarily his genitalia. When it comes to genitalia, it’s more of a “I feel ashamed, people never have been normal about my body there” so he hates it. Didn’t hate it until it got him treated horribly. (He was often kicked out of places that took him in as a new spawn conveniently after there was a bath given to him)
He is a Guy. And he will fight to be seen as such.
Silver.
He is a very queer Cis-(het)Man. He is Aromantic, but craves romantic acts. He is a very romanticizing person. (Would be considered Cupioromantic I think) He’d want to put on a wedding just for the ceremony aspect of it and how romantic one is. He loves the feeling of one person who’s adoring you and only you.
As mentioned in a previous post, he is Ace-Spike, he doesn’t often experience sexual attraction but when he does it’s a large spike from what his normal is (none). He’s pretty favorable to sex, but only because he’s the one who holds all the knowledge about it. If he was interacting with someone from a race that was sexual, he’d be very repulsed. (It occilates, sometimes he’s repulsed, sometimes he’s very favorable)
His attraction when it IS present, is hetrosexual.
He is pretty effeminate by our modern standards, especially by body language. To qoute Mother Mother:
“I wear women's underwear
And then I go to strike a pose in my full length mirror
I cross my legs just like a queer”
Wears make up very often, would paint his nails if he had them. Stereotypical “Gay man” activities when done by a man. His bedroom is painted with pastels, and there’s plushies and dolls everywhere. “Cute things” fill his bedroom. Things that are often associated with femininity. (The childish side is a whole other post, and no it’s not “I love kids”)
By porcilavain standards, he is also very queer. Simply by being interested in sex and having sexual attraction sometimes, he’d be considered “deviant”. Him being very extravagant and having an adoration of non useful but aesthetically pleasing decor/dress wear also makes him “deviant”. The plushies and dolls obsession is very materialistic, another deviation. (He also tends to keep and collect broken things. Dare I point the symbolism out with Autumn?)
Gender is complex. He would not consider himself a woman, and dressing in traditionally female dress wear makes him extremely uncomfortable due to knowing what it makes people see him as.
But he also has no interest in the “be a strong gruff and tough MAN”. He is a very insecure man, yes. However it’s not about “I need to be MAN enough” it’s about the judgement of his body and achievements/skills (or lack thereof)
If you were to start comparing him to whatever your standards were, and he was lesser? He’d do everything in his power to fuck you up and get you to change your mind.
His relationship with his identity is always intertwined with his NPD.
There’s only FOUR videos that focus on the relationship between Sam and Autumn. Direct focus, and three of those are different sections of the same moment (Autumn moving to harjewel to be close to Sam)
Wild. Send me asks so I can draw comics in response.
Fun fact. Autumn and Sam, just like alll the others of their race that weren’t nocturnal, can see the ultraviolet spectrum! Which is why the flowers are glowy at the end, it’s an attempt to convey the choice of flower color in that spectrum of light.
Have an unfinished piece of Autumn on the balcony connected to Silvers bedroom, thinking about his life choices. Read the implications of it being connected to Silvers bedroom as you please.
Warning, under the cut is some mild/medium level suggestive glimpses into Silver and Autumns very imbalanced sexual relationship.
And some clinical rambles to go along with it
Cw: topics of assault and rape.
The sexual side of their relationship, what to say about it. Hm. It was not frequent, Silver is Ace-Spike, and has a low libido.
So sometimes there was attraction with no drive to act on it, libido with no attraction, neither, or both.
When it’s just Attraction and no libido, he simply looks at Autumn (with maybe some holding of Autumn, but no move to touch him in a physically gratifying sexual manner) and Autumn is simultaneously feeling violated and validated by it. Violated because it was typically involved with features that made him feel like his body is wrong. But validated because someone isn’t looking at him with disgust and instead appreciation.
(None of Silvers “fixation” on him ever made sense, not until he’s left flurmere. Hindsight 20/20)
If there’s libido but no attraction? It often was him simply offering “favors for favors” with Autumn so he’d get his drive satisfied and no longer have to deal with “the unpleasantries” of it. Or him feeling very disgusted with his body’s drives for this and taking that out on Autumn (by either threatening to expose autumns lies to the public and hurting Autumn via touch on his scar for a self soothing power trip. Or being rough with Autumn when there’s oral involved) because Autumn was the closest person to take it out on.
Now, times where there’s both? Autumn could count on one hand the times where that’s lead to assault/rape in the penetrative sense, otherwise it was oral.
The first instance involved some alcohol in Autumn, then unsolicited touch, then a barter for Sam’s safety if Autumn “allowed” Silver to see all of his body. Then, something Autumn did Not consent to in any sort of way. No Dubious nature, just outright disregard.
This is important for Autumns story. It is where him feeling (even the slightest bit) comfortable with his body being Intersex shatters. That is the moment where his hope anyone could not be disgusted by his body is ground into dust.
The second instance, is when Autumn is desperate for a favor and can’t think of any other thing to barter but complete exposure of his body again. This time, it’s his suggestion, knowing what will happen. But he doesn’t enjoy any of it.
And the grounds of the third instance is him using penetrative of him sex as a way to placate severely bruising Silvers ego, knowing Silver was attracted to him in the moments prior. (Similar to the first instance, but Autumn knowing what’s happening this time)
In Sass, this is where the list ends.
In REVO there is one more time. And it’s closer to Silvers Death, and it’s the one time Silver has Asked. Autumn agrees only as a way to gain some power, but Silver is more “caring and gentle” this time around. There’s softness and this Is when in Revo Autumns feelings become far too complicated and conflicted for him to process anymore. Because it’s been a such a mix of good and bad sexual experiences for Autumn with Silver. (He’s actively sought out giving Silver oral many time in the past because there was a feeling of power and enjoyment of said power in it) and now there’s a semi good experience with something that has always been a horrible memory for him every time it happened.
Otherwise, Attraction + libido, involves Silver’s many fantasies about the idea of Autumn threatening his life. He has found Autumns physical power very attractive and likes the idea of Autumn using it on him, while still having control over Autumn Via the threat of If He Kills Me, He Dies Too.
He very much likes Autumn having physical dominance over him, Autumn being vengeful. Autumn threatening him and him threatening back.
And this is the gray middle ground where Autumn ends up finding enjoyment. He very much likes denying Silver pleasure and threatening Silver. He enjoys their banter and him being able to tease Silver. This is why he enjoys giving Silver oral, he has control over Silvers pleasure this way. Especially if Silver is in a state where he’s still recovering from Magic Exhaustion. Silver has no physical power over him. He can’t physically assault Autumn, he’s too weak to overpower Autumn right now. Autumn can Do Whatever, and physically get away with it. Mentally and financially, not as much if he pushes Silvers lack of control too far.
And Autumn feels like he CAN enjoy this. He feels it’s not “morally wrong” for him to enjoy something because silver has taken advantage of him and abused him. He feels like Silver owes him. He’s been hurt by Silver, it’s only fair that he takes what enjoyment he can.
He doesn’t get that with Spice. He feels he has too much power over spice. HES the one that may be doing the assault because Spice would not be able to fight back if Autumn reallyyyy wanted to take advantage of Spice. So no, he doesn’t feel he can enjoy sex with Spice. It must be him uncomfortable and hurting so it’s proper payment to Spice.
His relationship with Silver affects him in every aspect of his life.
Technically this is an unfinished piece since I haven’t added his scars, however, fuck that it’s too much to add to an already rendered piece.
There’s so much for me to say about this, from a story based symbolism lense and a meta lense. So, I’ll put most of it in a reblog once I can compose myself.
TDLR for now? Trans Man experience + Complex Abuse
We don’t really plan ahead a lot of the time about the symbolism of a piece. Most times it’s a random sketch that we Just Feel must be completed. And this was one of them.
And we think that urge to render and give it the attention it deserves came from our experience as being someone who has a vagina and is trans.
There’s a terror you grow up in when you have a vagina. Us especially had that drilled into us. “Everyone will be trying to abduct you and sexual exploit you!!! Men especially!! Fear all men!! And women too! They will trap you by seeming the safer option!!!”
So the fear of rape and assault and the defiling of our body was constant.
Now, back to the piece. Autumns posing feels feral and like he’s been backed into a corner. Someone desperate who’s been exposed and stripped of bodily privacy, and someone who will desperately try to defend what little they still can give themselves.
However, the posing could also be seen is sexual. I mean after all he IS naked and with his legs spread. The sword is simply a “conveniently placed object” yes? Well. If that’s the first impression you have, the glare from Autumn and the feralness should make you uncomfortable. He is armed and dangerous, and if you have the intent to exploit him, he WILL slash at you. It’s a dare to view a naked body as sexual, with the threat of harm if you actually do.
Then there’s the trans aspect. Everyone wants to know what’s in your pants for some fucking reason (especially if you are intersex on top of it like Autumn is) but here you don’t get to know. There’s a sword defending his privacy, and the arms that weld it are hiding his chest. You have no RIGHT to his body or knowing anything about it. It is NONE of your fucking business. And if you dare violate that, you’ll get a sword through the chest.
You have no right.
That sums up the emotional message.
“You have no right to this body.” With the rage of all victims of bodily violation behind it.
There’s more to be said on the story side, considering the light and dark symbolism alongside the sword. But I’ll touch on the sexualization from Silver side of Autumns story for now.
Silver in many ways invalidated Autumn’s existence as a man. He focused on the breasts Autumn had, the higher pitching of Autumns vocal range, and the more curved nature of Autumn’s frame. Through those traits, and the focus on those traits, Autumn was objectified.
Autumn is in all terms but verbal, a solider. (A knight if you will) Someone seen as very masculine. Everything he does to be seen as equal to everyone else, to not be belittled and tossed aside. There’s no refuge he can find with anyone for himself. Most don’t care about his outwardly presented sex and gender, so long as he’s commited to whichever he picked.
But Silver, Silver violates Autumn by ignoring Autumns discomfort towards the aspects of his body that get him viewed as something he doesn’t identify with. And even goes so far as to EMPHASIZE the fact that it’s on Autumns body and reveling in Autumns discomfort.
Hrgggg there’s so much here. I shall continue soon, but I need a ramble break, this is getting long. And a little incoherent.
Ok now for the object symbolism + light and Dark symbolism.
Autumn believes in the shades and lights in terms of the old beliefs of their race. (He mainly believes in the dark’s existence because of his very isolated times of his youth and the comfort he had found in lying on the roof at night or making his room void of light.)
Notice how he’s in shadow for the majority of this piece.
Now, Silver twisted those beliefs into one that demonized the shades of darkness. He Focused entirely on The Light. It’s all bullshit to him, but he still made it.
The light is BEHIND Autumn, he does not buy into it. He knows it’s bullshit. He does not support it, but…. There’s a reflection from the sword that illuminates the scars on his cheek. The sword which he would weld as a Knight for Silver. His comfort in darkness is cut through by the job he has for silver, he’s not fully protected and suffers because of the job he depends on.
Speaking of. Notice how he’s LEANING on the sword? He seems like he needs it for support and would be weak without the sword to hold him up. I wonder what this could possibly equate to! *cough* the fact that without working for silver he would have nothing and would have no financial or social support and likely would have been thrown into purification because he was a misspawn. And he is physically and mentally weak without his job. Without his job supporting him and, the more important part, his brothers? He would have fallen apart and worked himself to death in the power plant that was his previous job.
He NEEDS this job.
Now, he is also naked. I’ve already gone into the sexual ties of this, but non sexual links? He’s Exposed, he’s vulnerable. There is nothing protecting him except for that sword he depends on.
And what have we established the sword means? Working for Silver. That job protects him, without it he is fully exposed and vulnerable. There would be nothing to help him but himself. And again, he depends on that sword. When backed into a corner and vulnerable like that, he will have to rely on using and keeping that sword/job no matter what.
But why does he depend on the sword? Why is it his left arm is the one gripping the sword where the other needs to rest on his knee and the sword? Well. His right arm is weak because of his self mutilation for the job. He’s weakened himself for this and trapped himself in this dependency.
Hrrggsgshskskslslslsls please someone appreciate the deep meaningssssss this piece captures Autumns story in REVO and even just the time before big left in SASS.
Technically this is an unfinished piece since I haven’t added his scars, however, fuck that it’s too much to add to an already rendered piece.
There’s so much for me to say about this, from a story based symbolism lense and a meta lense. So, I’ll put most of it in a reblog once I can compose myself.
TDLR for now? Trans Man experience + Complex Abuse
We don’t really plan ahead a lot of the time about the symbolism of a piece. Most times it’s a random sketch that we Just Feel must be completed. And this was one of them.
And we think that urge to render and give it the attention it deserves came from our experience as being someone who has a vagina and is trans.
There’s a terror you grow up in when you have a vagina. Us especially had that drilled into us. “Everyone will be trying to abduct you and sexual exploit you!!! Men especially!! Fear all men!! And women too! They will trap you by seeming the safer option!!!”
So the fear of rape and assault and the defiling of our body was constant.
Now, back to the piece. Autumns posing feels feral and like he’s been backed into a corner. Someone desperate who’s been exposed and stripped of bodily privacy, and someone who will desperately try to defend what little they still can give themselves.
However, the posing could also be seen is sexual. I mean after all he IS naked and with his legs spread. The sword is simply a “conveniently placed object” yes? Well. If that’s the first impression you have, the glare from Autumn and the feralness should make you uncomfortable. He is armed and dangerous, and if you have the intent to exploit him, he WILL slash at you. It’s a dare to view a naked body as sexual, with the threat of harm if you actually do.
Then there’s the trans aspect. Everyone wants to know what’s in your pants for some fucking reason (especially if you are intersex on top of it like Autumn is) but here you don’t get to know. There’s a sword defending his privacy, and the arms that weld it are hiding his chest. You have no RIGHT to his body or knowing anything about it. It is NONE of your fucking business. And if you dare violate that, you’ll get a sword through the chest.
You have no right.
That sums up the emotional message.
“You have no right to this body.” With the rage of all victims of bodily violation behind it.
There’s more to be said on the story side, considering the light and dark symbolism alongside the sword. But I’ll touch on the sexualization from Silver side of Autumns story for now.
Silver in many ways invalidated Autumn’s existence as a man. He focused on the breasts Autumn had, the higher pitching of Autumns vocal range, and the more curved nature of Autumn’s frame. Through those traits, and the focus on those traits, Autumn was objectified.
Autumn is in all terms but verbal, a solider. (A knight if you will) Someone seen as very masculine. Everything he does to be seen as equal to everyone else, to not be belittled and tossed aside. There’s no refuge he can find with anyone for himself. Most don’t care about his outwardly presented sex and gender, so long as he’s commited to whichever he picked.
But Silver, Silver violates Autumn by ignoring Autumns discomfort towards the aspects of his body that get him viewed as something he doesn’t identify with. And even goes so far as to EMPHASIZE the fact that it’s on Autumns body and reveling in Autumns discomfort.
Hrgggg there’s so much here. I shall continue soon, but I need a ramble break, this is getting long. And a little incoherent.
Technically this is an unfinished piece since I haven’t added his scars, however, fuck that it’s too much to add to an already rendered piece.
There’s so much for me to say about this, from a story based symbolism lense and a meta lense. So, I’ll put most of it in a reblog once I can compose myself.
TDLR for now? Trans Man experience + Complex Abuse
