You know what? Forget the discourse. This is no longer my hill to die on.
You wanna ship canonically aspec characters because “aro/ace people can still date/have sex”? Okay, then. LET’S DO IT.
I wanna see an aromantic character with an alloromantic love interest. I wanna see that confession of undying love and the moment when the aro character says they will never feel the same way—not romantically.
I wanna see the asexual character with their allosexual partner. I wanna see that moment when the ace characters tries sex with their partner for the first time because they want to make them happy only to realize that they are 100% sex repulsed.
I wanna see the two demiromantics who don’t even know if what they feel is romantic attraction, but they adore each other and just want to make healthy snacks together and destroy each other at Mario Kart.
I wanna see the two aces who love sensual affection and are figuring out what they define as sexual or not.
I wanna see the romance + sex neutral aroace who happily and consensually does whatever makes their partner happy…but their partner still struggles with feeling undesired.
Oh, babe. You thought shipping an aspec character would be just like shipping an allo character?
this isn't really the same thing as intentionally/unintentionally a-spec characters but it is interesting thinking about how intentionality does dramatically change how characters read regarding a-spec identities and themes.
So: repurposed vaguely Kinseyesque scale describing your aromantic and/or asexual protagonist's awareness of and relationship to their own aromanticism/asexuality:
Unaware That This Is A Thing People Can Be. Type specimen: Carl from Dungeon Crawler Carl. Has never once considered that "not wanting romance or sex" is a thing people could feel, let alone identify as. He is normal, which means straight. It's just a coincidence that his relationship with his girlfriend was a disaster and now he's just way too busy in this new nightmare dystopia world for any of that! Anyway!
Aware They Have These Feelings, Assumes Everyone Else Also Does. Type specimen: Doug Eiffel from Wolf 359. Firmly believes that his aro-allo experiences are universal and everybody else is just better at acting like a functional human being than he is. Being a huge movie nerd also leads him to believe that "romance" as we understand it is massively exaggerated for drama in movies and people in real life don't actually do and feel that stuff any more than they mind-meld or can use the Force. He's just a fuckup at everything; why wouldn't relationships be included in that? For most of the show if you told him about aromanticism he would NOT be comforted about it, he'd probably take it as a diagnosis that his fuckup-ness regarding relationships was innate and incurable. (This doesn't have to be negative; this is also where Andy Wheyface from Arden falls and he is having a GRAND old time.)
Aware They Have These Feelings, Realizes That It Sets Them Apart From Others, Doesn't Conceptualize It As Part Of An Identity. Type specimen: Ryland Grace from Project Hail Mary. His reaction to other people having sex is mostly "why would you do that." His single attempt at a serious romantic relationship didn't work out and he has a nagging sense that there is something in him that can't maintain serious relationships; attributes it to cowardice and fear of commitment. Ironically he does know what asexuality is. He's a middle school teacher in 2020s California, he has absolutely gotten LGBTQ+ Sensitivity Education at least in "pamphlet listing queer identities" form, he for sure has students with pride flag pins on their backpacks and pride stickers on their notebooks, and he is also not immune from the Culture War Bullshit around gender in schools. Knowing that asexuality exists did not even slightly lead him to apply this to himself.
Aware They Have These Feelings, Considers Them Significant, Attributes Them To Some Existential Feature Of Their Existence Rather Than A Personal Identity. Type specimen: Murderbot from The Murderbot Diaries. Murderbot is very confident it does not want anything to do with romance or sex, and it attributes this to Being A SecUnit, and romance and sex are Human Things SecUnits Don't Do. Has not yet realized that this is an itself thing and not a SecUnit thing. Probably willfully at this point.
Considers These Feelings A Significant Aspect Of Their Selfhood, But Doesn't Name It. Type specimen: Sister Carpenter from The Silt Verses. Clearly confident in who she is and what she wants in her personal relationships, recognizes that as something that makes her different from others and out of step with what others expect from her, and is basically like, that's their problem. She knows who she is. Sometimes other people try to make it her problem but she has so many other problems that societal amatonormativity keeps getting pushed lower and lower on her list of Problems.
Recognizes Themself As Aromantic/Asexual As A Personal Identity. Type specimen: Nova NoStar from InCo. Clearly considers this part of her identity, but is allergic to talking about her feelings even at her therapy android's insistence and besides that's not anybody else's business is it?
Publicly Identifies As Asexual And Describes It With Period-Correct Sexual Orientation Language. Type specimen: Sally Grissom from ars PARADOXICA. The only character I've ever heard come out as asexual and lay out the definition in terms of sexual orientation and attraction to another character on-air that made me go "yeah she would do this, this is in character for Sally." Strongly feel like she would be an active commenter on the 2010s ace blogosphere. Would get in an argument about the correct definition of asexuality on AVEN.
X. Their Culture Conceptualizes Intimate Relationships In A Fundamentally Different Framework Than We Use. Type specimen: Breq from the Imperial Radch Trilogy. Whatever model of gender and sexuality the Radch is on it is NOT ours. Breq is still not interested though.
Summary: Team 141 isn't always the best at taking care of themselves, and they also refuse to be taken care of. That is until Laswell introduces an emotional support bunny, who becomes the team's personal medic. The pack is a bit reluctant at first, only to realize just how much they needed a new hybrid in their pack.
"No, Laswell."
"I am not taking no as an answer." Laswell quips back, completely unphased when Price snarls lowly at her, though she does pin her ears back. "I'll pop you on the nose. Don't start with me." She warns, but there's no heat to her words, and Price grumbles at her again as he sits down in his desk chair.
"We do not need a new member of the pack. We have each other, and that's all we need." He insists, holding up the file, and Laswell gently shakes her head. Price flips open the file, seeing the picture and smiling just slightly. Fluffy brown ears with little spots of white, hair in the awkward grow out phase from a buzzcut, and slightly chubby cheeks.
"Bunnies tend to be natural medics. It's like the puppy syndrome that the rookies have. Right now, we've seen how placing a caregiver hybrid into a pack leads to benefits. Faster recovery from injuries and illness, improved sleep, and fewer fights with nurses in the med bay." Laswell rambles a bit, fixing Price with a firm look at that one.
"So we're getting a babysitter?" Price huffs, leaning back in his chair. "I don't know, Laswell. I know my boys, you do too. What happens when this new pack mate makes a move on one of us?" There was a vunerability there that Laswell knew too well. Price had fought for this team, for this pack, for this family. He had spent so long alone that bringing something new into the relationship felt almost dangerous.
"Well, that likely won't happen." Laswell hums proudly, her snow leapord tail swishing back and forth happily. Price tilts his head at that, ear twitching in curiousity. "Your new bunny pack mate is asexual."
The humvee rolls to a stop into base, Price watching and waiting for the doors to swing open and bring them their new medic. He ignores the huffing, the teeth clicking behind him anxiously, keeping it together for his pack. He has to lead by example, hoping that they will settle down and follow suit.
The backdoor swings open, and out climbs their new pack mate, much shorter than Price had thought. 5'6" was much smaller in person than on paper, but you held your head up with the confidence of a much taller rabbit. Price steps forward, smiling a little as he waves you closer, taking you in.
Your ears were bigger than he expected, fluffy, and flopped down over your shoulders. You were a little chubby, like most bunnies Price had seen, but he could see the muscle flexing underneath. As you got closer, he could smell something sweet, his tail wagging slightly as you got closer.
"Hello, I'm Y/N. This is my first time working with a wolf pack. I am very honored that you've let me be here to care for your team." You beam, and you shift that same sharp stare to the team behind him. "Laswell said you would show me to my barracks and that she would show me around." You explain when you finish looking everyone over.
"Hey, welcome. I'm John Price." He introduces himself, holding out a hand for you to shake. You take his hand eagerly, giving it a firm squeeze and shake. Price wasn't surprised by that, but he was surprised with the sharp stare you fixed him with, almost studying him. It was there for a few moments before you blinked, smiled, and let go of his hand.
John hears Simon rumbling behind him in slight irritation, Price turning to give him a look. A silent warning that you had a job to do, just like them. They may not like it, but thats not your fault. Ghost holds his gaze for a moment, but lowers his eyes and ears in submission. He didn't want to challenge his captain over this, he'd just have to wait and see how things played out.
"If you have all your things, I'll take you to your barracks. Laswell is in a meeting right now, so you have some time to unpack before she comes by." Price smiles at you as you grab your two suitcases and a large duffel bag before leading you into the building.
"You're all way too skinny." You say offhandedly, looking over your shoulder at the team than quickly back at Price. The pack was staring at you with wide eyes, perked ears, and stiff tails, far thinner than they should be.
"Excuse me?" Price grunts, ears twitching a little as he wrinkles his nose. "You saying that I don't feed my team?" He challenges, tempted to step into your space to tower over you. You seem completely unphased, raising an eyebrow at his defensiveness.
"Not at all, Sir. You've done what you can with what you had." You assure, reaching a hand out to firmly squeeze Price's shoulder. "Did Laswell tell you about the 'puppy syndrome?'" You ask, putting quotes around the word. Price huffs a little at that but nods. "Well, putting 'prey' hybrids into a pack, especially as emotional support, makes you take care of yourselves. We balance each other." You explained, walking away from the staring pack and being guided toward your barracks.
"How does that work?" Price pushes, wanting to know more as he opens up the barrack door and shows you inside. As you stepped past, his tail begins wagging again, and he can't help but lean down to smell you. Strawberries... Sweet strawberries, vanilla, and lemon.
"Sir?"
Price opens his eyes, face flushing slightly when he realizes he's holding your arm and sniffing at your face and neck. His tail falls still, straightening up and quickly letting you go.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I- That was very innaproriate of me." Price apologizes, but that analytical look was back, your nose twitching slightly as you stare at one another. Just as quick as the look was there, it was gone, replaced with a reasuring smile.
"Don't worry about it, Sir. I'll be seeing each of you before dinner for your medications." You exclaim as you set down your suit cases and bag. "If your pack is less tense by then, maybe I'll join you for dinner." You continue, watching as Price nods, apologizes once more, and leaves with his tail between his legs.
You watch him leave, absolutely baffled by the almost shy nature of these wolves, of the pack leader himself. Most hybrids, especially hybrids like wolves, would surround a bunny to sniff them, scent them, and even nip at them to test boundaries.
But these wolves were thinner than they should be, stiff, with clearly aching muscles and dark thoughts wriggling and hissing behind their eyes. How long had these wolves gone without any soft touch or a gentle approach? You thump your feet in irritation, already working up a plan to open up the pack.
You pull out your clicker and a bag of homemade jerky. This pack needed you more than they realized, and you had your work cut out for you.
okay I'm gonna spread the gospel for a bit because heartbreak high is seriously underrated for how good it is with its representation. seriously this show has some of the best queer, asexual, nonbinary, neurodivergent, indigenous representation etc. in any piece of media that I have seen and it is so so so funny. it depicts gen z (from australia) so well and season 3 is about to release very soon and I just think it deserves more recognition.
like just look at the main characters:
malakai & missy:
are both indigenous australians who are bisexual!
quinni & sasha
both are lesbian, quinni is also autistic which gets explored throughout the show
darren & ca$h (douglas)
both are queer/gay and darren is nonbinary while ca$h is asexual
amerie & harper
amerie (the main character) is indian but her character isn't defined by her race and harper has a central story about overcoming trauma
spider (spencer) & ant
spider grapples with self discovery and unlearning toxic masculinity + sexual insecurities (may be demisexual), ant is kind of the unserious stoner friend atm (hasn't been explored much)
I just love how unapologetically queer and diverse the show is so pls pls pls give it a go 🙏 I need people to geek out with about s3 when it releases!
as an asexual i can confirm that my time not thinking about sex is, in fact, spent trying to decipher a weird little rock alien's language. we're best friends btw. matching hats and everything
