the world at his feet

Shawn Stevens. 18. Senior. Happily taken by Cori Geraghty.

[shawn-stevens]

Because all of a sudden, I have this pressure to be the best. The theatre world is cruel, and I want nothing more than to be a part of it - which is sort of masochistic, wow. But it's always been so easy for me to be the best and to get the lead role and to have everyone shower praise onto me, but here, I'm barely average. It's terrifying, and I barely stand a chance. And with Sux in the picture, I can feel myself being less and less active, and my muse slowly fading away, and it's the worst feeling. I'd love to be here for longer, but there's literally no way I can. I don't have any time, the stress is starting to kill me, and at this point, I'm just taking up space. And I'm actually so ashamed that it's reached this, because I managed to juggle university applications and SAT prep and Fiddler on the Roof and senior year and a social life and Sux all through Grade 12, but a month and a half into college, I've got to leave it all behind.

So I'm closing Shawn.

He was basically my vessel into the world of Sux. I requested Aaron Tveit as an FC on anon ages ago, Helena finally posted him and I auditioned for him that night. If it weren't for Shawn, I have no idea if I would've joined this roleplay at all. He represents everything I love about this roleplay, and as selfish as it may be, I really don't think I could stand it if someone else played him.

I fully intend to find a way to rejoin the Sux family in the future. When I have an opening for some reason, if I've been auditioning for roles and nothing's come up and I've got a huge amount of time on my hands, I'll come back. If she's open, I'll probably take up Noelle, since she's basically everything I am.

I'll also keep all my accounts open. I've already deleted Nia and Ariana's accounts (unfortunately), but I'll keep Kimmy and Noelle and both Shawn's original and his rebooted accounts, just for nostalgia's sake. And also, of course, so I can pick up where I left off when I come back.

Last but not least, all of you guys. Seriously, I love each and every last one of you. And though I didn't get the chance to bond with all of you, you guys are all so important to me. I don't really talk about my personal issues that much on the internet, but every once in a while I'd log on, and you guys would make me laugh so much and all my problems would seem so much less problematic. You guys are so amazing, and you've all helped me through tough times without even realising it, and I'm so grateful for you guys accepting me into this family.

If you guys ever want to contact me, you can inbox me at sonnyfontana. My name there is Sophie because I've got people following me who know me in real life, and I'd rather they don't know it's me, but yeah, you guys can drop me a line and call me Elle and all that.

To be super cheesy and to live up to my incredibly nerdy love of musicals: a song for all of you to get how I feel about you guys.

I love you all, so, so much. Seriously, I'm not sure if all of you understand the extent of my love. I'll miss you all loads.

Hugs and kisses,

Elle ~

[shawn-stevens]

Goodbye • Self Para

He felt like some coming-of-age young adult novel.

The line waiting to board inched forward, and Shawn checked his phone for messages. One from his sister, Grace, from San Francisco, telling him not to be afraid of college, that being a freshman is kinda scary, but it'll be the best years of his life, and that Columbia was an amazing school, and getting into the journalism program so early was amazing. An email from his other sister, Caroline, saying just about the same thing. A reminder from his dad to floss. A heart emoticon from his mom. Another text from Cori, wishing him a good flight. Even though she and his family had just dropped him off at the airport, Shawn felt something squeeze in his chest, and it took a whole lot of strength for him to ignore the stinging behind his eyes.

The line inched again, and Shawn was about to board.

He realised, suddenly, that these were his last real moments of childhood. He could easily slip out of the line, catch a cab, drive back to Lakeview, crawl under his covers, and live with his parents forever. New York City was scary. Columbia was scary. Leaving Cori, school, prom, graduation, everything behind was the scariest thing Shawn could ever think of doing. It was all he had ever wanted, but all in a rush, he realised his youth and his mortality and his comfort and everything he ever knew before would be gone by the time he stepped off the plane. He would enter a city of 8.3 million people, where he would just be another face in the crowd. His palms started sweating.

The line inched forward one last time, and Shawn gave the stewardess his ticket.

[coriger]

Mhm…. Hmph.

[shawn-stevens]

[coriger]

Nah. You’re cute when you worry.

[shawn-stevens]

You're always cute.

[coriger]

I highly doubt you’ll ever stop worrying.

[shawn-stevens]

We can only hope.

[coriger]

I know.

I’m working on it. Just for you. And also because I don’t want to die one day by accident.

[shawn-stevens]

It's a win-win. You survive to your nineteenth birthday, I get to stop worrying.

[coriger]

Don’t you think that’s a little much?

I’m fine, Shawn, I just hit my head.

[shawn-stevens]

I'm just kidding, sweets.

You should try and be more careful, though. I hate it when you hurt yourself.

[alicefortescuex]

It’s disgusting honestly.

[shawn-stevens]

Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

[alicefortescuex]

That’s ridiculous. They make enough money as it is.

[shawn-stevens]

Exactly. They just constantly want more.

[coriger]

Oh, definitely.

[shawn-stevens]

Jesus, Cor. Every day during Hanukkah, I'm getting you something protective. Day one, helmet. Day two, elbow pads. Day three, force field.

[alicefortescuex]

I bet! I’m not looking forward to it.

[shawn-stevens]

It's a pain in the neck. The worst part is that you have to pay to apply, let alone actually go to the school.

[shawn-stevens]

If unicorns were real, would you want one as a pet?

What, are you kidding? Yes.

[hxxt-blog-deactivated20191014]

The 'yes or no' game.

[pendents]

You can ask me anything and I’ll answer honestly, but only with yes and no.

Do it

[coriger]

Not Another 80's Movie || AKA. Elena was in a writing mood.

Cori had always been the jealous type- not completely green in the face twenty-four seven, but she’d always been a bit possessive of Shawn. ‘Course, he’d been her best friend since kindergarten- that was a kind of connection that you didn’t lose. So while most people thought that she was just being his friend, and for the longest time so did she, Cori had really been attempting to keep him from the pain of other girls, and to herself. So yeah, Cori was possessive. So what?

They’d gotten into a fight a few days before Homecoming- another case of possessiveness on Cori’s part. She knew she needed to calm it with the Lindsay thing, but still- Shawn’d liked her for like, four years. Things happened, and when he was going on a coffee “date” with her— well, obviously Cori wasn’t about to be happy about that.

She’d texted him, asking him in a short sentence if they could talk- she wanted to apologize, and sort-of make it up to him.

{text}: hey.

{text}: can i come over?

Pulling on an old sweatshirt, she grabbed her keys while scribbling a note to her parents.

Gone to Shawn’s. Might be back for dinner.

Love ya.

Cori

She knew the way to his house by heart now, and even though she only lived two blocks over, the October air was a bit too chilly for her to walk in. The radio played softly in the background, and the brunette took her time driving over, picking up two cups of coffee- pumpkin spice, cream, one sugar. The same thing, as always.

She knocked on the door, smiling at him as he opened it.

"Hey." She handed him one of the cups. "Wanna take a walk?"

[shawn-stevens]

When Shawn was a kid, he was the one who got the top grades in the class without having to study for a second. What made it worse was that he knew he was lucky to have that sort of talent, and he'd joke about it while everyone else was cramming for finals.

Clearly, karma had come to bite him in the ass. Something kicked in during his junior year (he likes to blame it on calculus), and ever since, Shawn has to study just as hard as the rest of the school to get the grades he needs to get into Columbia. Unfortunately, he'd decided to go into AP Government, something he's regretted ever since. The teacher hates him, the homework load is killer, and it's not half as interesting as he'd like it to be - even with the whole shutdown going on.

Shawn lay on his bed, his textbook propped up against the wall so he could read it without having to sit up. He hadn't been making any progress, and it was only when his phone buzzed that he realised he had read the same paragraph over and over.

He and Cori hadn't spoken much since the sort-of-fight - at least, for their standards. Usually, they're around each other all the time, sitting next to each other in classes they share and meeting up in the hallways between classes they don't. The hiatus they'd been having was beyond weird, it was unheard of, so hearing her knock on his door only few minutes after the text was a relief.

Shawn grinned when he smelled the coffee, and kissed her on the cheek while taking the cup. "Sure," he said before taking a sip and reaching behind the door to grab his jacket, hanging on a hook in the wall. "Anywhere you wanna go?"

[shawn-stevens]

[shawn-stevens]

text • hot stuff

Lindsay: uh huh. by the big fountain thing?

Shawn: see you in 15

[shawn-stevens]

text • hot stuff

Lindsay [unsent]: we should get couples costumes to celebrate our newfound friendship!!

Lindsay [unsent]: and bc i wanna make out w/you!!

Lindsay: i'm awesome at bowling so i would probably kick your butt anyway so

Lindsay: costume shopping it is!

Shawn: so we can meet each other at the mall?