THE BETTER HAWKEYE

Kate Bishop Archer/Dog Enthusiast/Foodie The Better Hawkeye I have no powers and not nearly enough training, but I'm doing this anyways. Being a super hero is amazing. Everyone should try it

[shcrp-shccter]

starryamerica‌:

“The implication that you don’t really disturbs me. We’re picking up a compost bin for the apartment on our way back. Feeding your scraps to Lucky under the table does not count as recycling.”

“I don’t know, Bishop. I do a whole lot more than ‘stand’ you.” America said, mouth tipping in a crooked smile. “Sounds like there’s a little story to me. Damn, heroship has changed you. Hey, what was your almost-tattoo of?”

“I do, I do.” She argued good-naturedly. “It’s all about driving an electric car and saving up your bathwater to flush toilets with. Okay, A--that is a favor to Lucky, who loves people food. And B--it totally counts because I’m not increasing carbon by throwing out the food, or whatever.”

“Wow, that’s how you’re describing our relationship? After I’ve spent months and months stopping you from punching two-thirds of the greater Manhattan area? Mhhh, good to know.” She shrugged wildly, trying to seem aloof and above it all. The act had gotten a lot harder the longer she was away from high society. “Promise you won’t laugh? It’s super cliche. I was gonna get a ‘Carpe Diem’ tattoo with an arrow shooting through the words.”

[shcrp-shccter]

savageshehulk‌:

@shcrp-shccter

“Hey, Kate?” Jennifer gently rapped her knuckles against the girl’s apartment. 

She’d actually found the address through an advertisement for the ‘East Coast Branch’ of Hawkeye Investigations that the young woman had jokingly mentioned that day at the mall. Jenn had considered going to Jessica Jones, but finding that Alias was temporarily shuttered and recalling the potential bad blood the woman may have had for the lawyer deterred Jennifer from pursuing that option.

Jenn couldn’t imagine how Kate was dealing with all of the news lately- for as close as Clint and the green Avenger had been in such a short span, she knew that the archers had an even closer bond.

She was relieved to hear Lucky’s panting from behind the door, knowing at least the sweet dog was being taken care of. What a trail Clint had left behind… Jennifer stood tall as the door cracked open just a peep. She tried to put on a winning smile, holding out the large box of pizza she’d brought over.

“Hi, Kate. Half pepperoni, half veggie supreme. I hope that’s okay. I thought maybe we could… talk?”

The room was dark. Or maybe it was dark outside. Kate--who hadn’t been able to bring herself to leave the house in what felt like years, but had definitely only been a handful of days--had lost track of exactly what time or day of the week it was.

She wasn’t expecting company, though, and she certainly wasn’t expecting a delivery of any sort. She and Lucky had been living off of the canned goods a less grief-stricken Kate had had the foresight to stock her cabinets with, because the idea of picking up the phone and trying to order something shitty off a takeout menu seemed damn near impossible at the moment. The knock sent a spike of adrenaline down her spine, mostly from the surprise of it all. She’d been sitting in silence, the TV muted in the background to provide some sort of stimulation and changing scenery in the apartment, which meant that she hadn’t heard a real noise in...a long time.

She cleared her throat and tried to find the words to tell whoever it was to go away, but Lucky got up off the couch and went to whimper at the door. Fine, she thought, dragging herself off the couch as well and pulling the door open just enough to reveal a single eye.

“Oh--Jenn. I didn’t...Hi.” She stared at the pizza box for far too long, mind still slow-moving and foggy. Lucky’s tail thumped against her leg as he tried to push out the door the welcome Jenn, and Kate finally surrendered her hold on the door frame enough the let the other woman see inside. “Thanks. You didn’t have to do this.”

But she was pretty sure that as soon as Jenn saw the stains on her sweatpants and her messy, unwashed bun Jenn would know she was right to have come over. “Yeah...Definitely. Uh, yeah. Just a sec.” She shut the door quickly, took a moment to suck in a deep breath, ran a hand over her hair to hopefully tame any fly-aways, and then opened the door again with a small smile. “Come on in.”

[shcrp-shccter]

akaherosandwich‌:

“Well, I have had some more time on my hands, lately,” she said with a shrug. But Jessica really wasn’t one for trashy television. She just liked punching down to Kate in a harmless way- just friendly enough but also the pair knew where they stood. “Ooh, lah-dee-dah. You’ll have to share your tips with me, I think just this one has ruined me forever.”

Jess continued to rub a lazy circle over her stomach, idly probing at the baby who kicked right back. “Hey, hey. No need to beat yourself up there. It’s just important to keep it humble,” she said with a lazy smirk. “I don’t doubt you could pull any number of convincing scams.  But you have to really keep your wits about you.”

Kate was a smart kid- Jessica saw a lot of herself in the young woman, albeit under different circumstances. A totally different upbringing. Similar trauma, bite, need to prove herself. The investigator just hoped that Kate didn’t turn out as terribly as she had. Maybe with the right guidance, everything would be fine.

And maybe if Jessica could help Kate, then she’d be totally prepared to help her own daughter, right? Right?

“God help us if Tony Stark was put in charge of anything but his own science projects,” she said, rolling her eyes. “As for the citizen’s arrest… Well, it comes to a matter of force used, perceived value of the harm- whether the harm your actions would cause or the criminal’s would have caused is greater. In my experience, mixing vigilante methodology and necessity defense don’t always go hand in hand. So, you either play 100% legal and vanilla, or you get creative and don’t press your luck with the law.”

“Oh yeah, you’ve got humble down. You’ve got humble in spades.” Kate snarked, finally finding her groove to tease Jessica back. She was never sure when was too much, where the line was, but maybe that was the point of all this: finding the line. She grinned and gave a one shouldered shrug. “Scamming sounds like fun, but I’m pretty sure I’d be exhausted over it after a couple hours. Nobody has the energy for that kind of stress.”

Especially not with a baby, she wanted to add for jessica’s benefit, but that felt a bit like rubbing salt in the wound. Jessica had already surrendered most of her time and energy to the baby, and she was hardly working the same kinds of hours on cases as she used to, so Kate’s commentary would have been pointlessly cruel.

“I’m still waiting on that flying car,” She quipped, remembering an article she’d read back in elementary school about the Stark family and their quest to make things take to the sky. “Ugh, yeah, okay. That still makes sense. I don’t know why I expected the answer to change, really, but I did. I guess I don’t have handy-dandy super powers to boost my authority, either, so I’m probably better off tapping out and calling 9-1-1 if there’s a problem.”

[shcrp-shccter]

thesouthernrogue‌:

“Ah don’t know ‘bout that. The patience is certainly hard tah maintain some days. Though that would be a slightly borin’ but more convenient power tah have.” Not that there was much Rogue wouldn’t find more convenient. “True, true. An’ it ain’t impossible fo’ them tah learn better. But damn is it hard tah wait fo them tah get there sometimes.”

“Eh, I mean, you gotta take what you can get, right? Super-patience might not have the greatest ring to it, but when you’re faced with the villain that is L.A. traffic at rush hour, anybody’d be grateful for it.” She laughed a little at her own joke. “God, yeah, I get that. I look back at myself and wonder how anyone let me get away with my attitude. I mean, I went to prep school for a long time, so I guess they were probably paid enough to overlook any backtalk.”

[shcrp-shccter]

divinely-paired‌:

“Honestly? Anything. I used to go to a lot of shows and ballets with my dad when I was kid but haven’t really been able to for a while. Hadestown seems like the hottest and most impossible ticket to get right now.”

Kate might not have known the other girl’s situation, but she understood the emotional turmoil that accompanied forgotten family traditions. “Which means you have to get tickets. Have you looked for scalped seats? There’s always a couple floating around the internet, especially in the days leading up to a show.”

[shcrp-shccter]

thesouthernrogue‌:

“Ah wouldn’t say it’s terrible exactly, but it can be a handful. Especially when said high school students also have superpowers. Still, someone has tah do it. Ah will accept that apology, but truthfully Ah probably need tah give it myself. Ah was a bit of a terror at that age as well.”

“Yeesh. You must have the patience of a saint. Wait, is that your superpower? Saintly patience? That would be awesome.” She said with a little chuckle. For Kate, superpowers had always been something awe-inspiring and unattainable, always positive and always cool. She couldn’t personally imagine that someone actually gifted might have a more complicated relationship with their powers. “I guess we all were. Kids are kind of brats. But they're brats that grow up to run the world, so we have to be nice to them, or whatever.” She gave an exaggerated eyeroll before smiling again.

[shcrp-shccter]

akaherosandwich‌:

“You’re a teenager, right? Isn’t that like your whole deal- having secret babies? I’m not going to judge, you actually look great,” she snickered. “You’ll have to tell me how you bounced back so quickly. Probably that youthful metabolism.”

Jessica rolled her eyes and shook her head. She would never admit it, but she didn’t totally hate having Kate keep her company. It was a stretch to say the investigator viewed the young woman as a sister, but she was more than just a kid hanging onto her- she remembered vaguely how some of her brother Phillip’s friends thought she was cool just because she was older and knew where the parents kept the alcohol.

“‘Men are stupid’ is honestly the answer to about 50% of the questions you’re going to have to ask yourself as a PI,” she nodded. Jess gave Kate a bit of a look, “Okay, but having maids isn’t the same as being able to be a maid. You know that, right? I don’t doubt you can pull it off, but… seriously.”

Jess declined to comment on costumes. Costumes never really did anything for her- wardrobe change, sure. But all the costumes were as far back in the closet as humanly possible. Where Luke would inevitably find them and ask Jessica to try to put them on post-baby.

“Yeah, I’ve been cursed with the burden of knowledge,” she scoffed playfully. Was Kate trying to compliment her? Whatever, Jess would just accept it. She sighed and rubbed her stomach as the baby began to repeated move against the same spot. She would never get used to that, but thankfully it wasn’t much longer to go now.

“You’ve navigated enough cases without me, so I’m sure you’ll have no problem with this. But was there anything else you wanted to ask about?”

“You watch too much daytime TV.” Kate shot back with a smirk, a sign that she was starting to see Jessica as more than a slightly terrifying mentor figure. “But I think I could have two or three kids and still bounce back. I do spend most of my nights trying to backflip off roofs.”

It wasn’t quite the same with Jessica as it was with Clint--for one thing, Kate felt that there was a clear power difference between the two of them, whereas with Clint things felt a lot more equal. Probably because she’d known him for so long. Regardless, Kate was pretty grateful to the previous generation for offering up their knowledge to her.

“Men are stupid feels like the answer to about 50% of life’s questions.” Kate griped back, but she couldn’t argue. “Mhh, yeah, definitely. I just mean that I’ve seen them in action a lot.” Which probably wasn’t helping her case at all. “...Right, no, I hear you. That was um, pretty classless of me. And classist.”

Kate shrugged, trying to keep from turning red or something. She was almost glad Jess hadn’t picked up on the compliment, but she felt a little stupid for having tried. “At least someone has the knowledge. We could all be at the mercy of Tony Stark instead--think about that.”

And now she had to feel foolish again, because her trip really didn’t justify an actual visit--it could just as easily have been summed up with a phone call. But she was overeager and a little too friendly, and she hadn’t though Jessica would accept a social call without a reason. So she blurted the first thing out that she could think of. “Uh, could you walk me through why I’m not allowed to make a citizens arrest again? I seriously think it could solve a lot of my problems.”

[divinely-paired]

“The tragedy that is the cost of broadway tickets is so much more disheartening when you’re so close to the place than when you live in another state.”

[shcrp-shccter]

 “Rent a P.O. box in Jersey, and have the tickets sent there. They’ll never know, and you win. Plus Jersey’s only a taxi ride away, so it’s not even that expensive to just pop over there. What are you trying to see?”

[shcrp-shccter]

akaherosandwich‌:

“Good, because that was about to get weird. I’m not the person you want that talk from,” she smirked. Jess shrugged sympathetically. “If it’s any consolation, I was surprised too. Let that be the lesson I teach you; be responsible or accept the consequences.”

The raven-haired investigator reached out and gently punched Kate in the shoulder. “Shut up. You can’t improve on perfection, obviously,” she teased, hating the sound of those words coming out of her mouth. Jess didn’t believe in perfection in any circumstance. It was just a myth people invented to make themselves miserable. But it was also a nice excuse, a bit of consolation when things didn’t actually measure up.

“Food is definitely not off the table. You take what you want- I ordered plenty. The baby books say the “eating for two” myth is just an excuse some women use to overeat. Yeah, sure, I’m more hungry. But it’s not like the baby was going to eat an entire second portion of pad thai,” she shrugged. “You’d better leave me at least one egg roll though. I’m emotionally vulnerable and not afraid to use it.”

She felt weird, trying to soften her edges around this young woman. Kids liked self-deprecating humor, right? Was this relatable?

“Always a pleasure to underwhelm,” Jess said, pulling out a pair of chopsticks for herself. She put the folder with the case information down on the table between them. They could talk and eat. “It’s a missing person case. Teenage girl, mother is concerned about kidnapping. What little digging I did at first looks like it might actually be a drug ring- heard of MGH?”

“I think I’d almost rather not have the talk at all than have it from you. No offense. Or maybe offense, I’m not sure.” She smiled uncomfortably, trying to look anywhere but Jess’s stomach. “Cool cool, well, I’m not really dating right now, so there’s no danger of any...uh, surprises. But I’ll keep it in mind.”

She faked a gasp and rubbed her shoulder like Jessica had actually hurt her. For a woman with super-strength, Jessica was surprisingly gentle when she wanted to be. That would definitely be a good skill when the baby arrived. “Obviously.” She said with a laugh. “Okay, cool. Thanks. I am pretty hungry. I guess when they said that everyone under 30 in NYC was starving they really weren’t joking. Hey, I don’t even have an excuse for overeating, so you’re already ahead of me.”

Kate paused like she was considering that, chopsticks hovering over the box of egg rolls. “I guess I can do that. But only because you asked so nicely. Also because I’m pretty sure ‘careless teen makes pregnant lady cry after stealing her thai food’ isn’t a headline I want to cause. I’m a little self-absorbed sometimes, not a monster.”

But her smile faded at that, because there was nothing funny about a missing person. especially not a young girl. “Yeah, I’ve heard of it. Are they--they’re kidnapping people now?”

[shcrp-shccter]

thesouthernrogue‌:

“Yeah, Ah probably can’t deny that Ah wrote a few college papers that way. Ain’t sure gradin’ high schoolers would be any better done with it, but it would certainly be faster.”

Kate nodded, smile widening. “I think the caffeine overdose regret is a staple in the lives of young adults in this city. It’s something we’ve all experienced once or twice. Or more, if I’m being personally honest while also possibly oversharing. Being a high school teacher sounds terrible, though, and I suddenly feel the desire to apologize to you on behalf of all the teachers I terrorized from 8th grade until graduation. I was kind of a little shit in school.”

[shcrp-shccter]

akaherosandwich‌:

“Ten percent? I’ve got a child to raise here. You think I can feed my baby on ten percent and a knit blanket?” There was nothing but light humor in her voice.  Jess shook her head at Kate, resting her hands on her rounded stomach.  It was awkward, especially as she sat with her legs apart to compensate for the heft of the baby taking up most of her lap. Admittedly, she understood manspreaders a bit now.

“Unless he called it a business trip, I don’t think a cheater would be so stupid as to not come home. Hm,” she said, scrunching her nose somewhat in thought. “But love causes us to be stupid and careless sometimes.”

Jessica cleared her throat, patting her belly once before returning her focus to Kate’s situation. “Knocking heads is a great way to make sure your guy makes a run for it,” she explained. “But don’t underestimate its persuasiveness. You could always try to pretend to be a maid as well- takes a bit of commitment to the role but if you could sneak in the service entrance, knock on a few doors, you never know.”

She pushed air through her nose in what could have maybe been a laugh, though it was not quite there. “Subtle, right.  Well, when you’re literally the elephant in the room… Look, I’ve been at this for years. Never underestimate the power of asking nicely, putting on a ‘clueless woman’ routine, and using fake names everywhere you go.”

“I don’t know, do I look like I’ve had a secret baby recently? I have no idea what it takes to raise a kid.” She said with a light laugh. “I guess I could throw in a knit hat or something as well, but that’s my final offer.” It was all still a little disconcerting--especially when Jessica’d lost some of the bite to her words--but it was kind of...nice. In a way. Kate thought she could get used to it.

“Ugh, I don’t know. Men are stupid. Nothing one thought he could get away with would surprise me, honestly.” She might’ve been spending too much time with America, but she’d also grown up around her dad, so her early exposure to male role models wasn’t the best. Her eyes widened just slightly as she watched Jessica drift off just a little. “Oh--you mean. Never mind.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I had a lot of maids growing up, I think I could pull it off pretty easily. That’s a pretty good route to go down, I should probably stop by the costume shop on my way home. A girl can never have too many costumes.” Regardless of reluctance, or inability to admit she liked something, or whatever it was that made Jessica so prickly, she was actually really good at her job, and Kate couldn’t help being impressed with some of her ideas.

“Honestly now you’re just kind of describing the charity auctions my family used to go to. But yeah, I can probably handle that. I mean--you could do it, and it’s pretty hard to believe you’d be clueless about anything.”

[shcrp-shccter]

starryamerica‌:

“Hey, he’s at least putting forth some minimal effort to save the planet. Caring about the environment is very cool, Bishop.”

“I’d like to see some vegan from L.A. try and touch me. I’m envisioning someone named ‘Kale’, and many broken bones. Possibly also a lawsuit.”

America paused, monitoring Kate’s expression carefully. She seemed… affected, by something, but America couldn’t be sure exactly what. It was just a vibe. “I know people change,” she said, tone a little gentler. “And I’m sure I’ll like him more than I would’ve liked Kale. What’s the story between you two?”

“Right, like you recycle and compost and....whatever else Eco-conscious people like to do.”

“Yeah, I can’t really bankroll a lawsuit right now, so lets keep you away from any and all L.A. vegans actually, I should probably keep you away from most L.A. people, vegans or not. I’m probably the only one you can stand. And I’m not even from L.A.” She chuckled, a little nervously, but that was easy enough to ignore. Hopefully. “Yeah, I’m sure. You’re very...welcoming.” It wasn’t the right descriptor, but she couldn’t think of a single word that summed America up in her entirety. “There’s no story, come on. I told you. We grew up in the same circles, hung out a lot. Did some stupid stuff together. He dared me to get a tattoo once. I didn’t,” She hastened to add. “But that’s the kind of stupid stuff we’d do when we were together. I think I’ve definitely leveled up when it comes to friends.”

[shcrp-shccter]

akaherosandwich‌:

Jess had barely opened the door before Kate burst in. The investigator had one hand on her back, pressing above her tailbone to try to ease some of the dull ache.  Now, with the baby kicking her and Kate talking a mile a minute at her, she couldn’t decide which was irritating her more.

“Slow down there, give me a minute,” she grumbled as she closed the door, latching the chain lock and then spinning to face the young woman. “First of all, am I getting a consultation fee for this one?”

Jessica paused, hands on her hips, and then shook her head.  “I’m kidding. Take a seat, why don’t you? And shut up, I know I am.  And it sucks.”  She lumbered over to the couch and lowered herself down awkwardly, holding her stomach as she settled onto the cushions.

“Don’t go for the bellboy to start with,” she said, shaking her head.  Jessica paused for a minute and tried to think.  “First of all, what are you tracking him for? Missing persons? A cheater? Do you know anything about this guy from his social media? You could pretend to be a girlfriend or a wife,” she suggested. “Make a call, say that something on the card double charged. They could take the credit card number as confirmation, slip up and give you the room number.”

Kate paused, mind still working a mile a minute, but mouth thankfully halting for the time being. She’d heard that pregnant brain was a thing, she was probably going to need to cut Jessica a break for a while. Not that she could say that out loud without risking being thrown out a window. “Um, I could learn to knit and make the baby a blanket or something?” But the idea was as terrible out loud as it had been in her head. “Ten percent.”

She chuckled then, and plopped down on Jessica’s couch. “Right, of course. I knew that.” She resolutely didn’t crack her facial expression once as Jessica struggled to sit down, but only because she knew (once again) that she’d probably end up through a window. “I’m not sure yet. His wife said he hadn’t come home in a few days, and that it wasn’t like him. Which makes me think it might not be a cheating situation, but I’m also not dumb enough to just write that off. He could be a cheater who is good enough to not be caught until now.” She shrugged, hoping her roundabout explanation made her sound like she was considering all the option, and not like she didn’t know what she was doing.

“Okay, that’s not a bad idea. I hadn’t thought about that. I was just going to show and start knocking heads together.” She laughed. “Who would have thought you’d be the subtle one here?”

[shcrp-shccter]

akaherosandwich‌:

Jessica smoothed a hand over the subtle curve of her stomach just for Kate’s benefit and then shrugged. “I’m sure you don’t really mean ‘how’ because we’re not at that point of openness right now,” she said, mostly ignoring her congratulations.  Jess didn’t feel it was something to congratulate.  It wasn’t much more than an accident she decided to play along with.

“I think it’s safe to say whatever’s inside me might be a brain-eating parasite,” she nodded. “Total body snatcher.”  It was weird, admittedly, to have something new and relatively nice.  Jess understood Kate’s confusion.

“No problem. I know it’s a lot to take in, but I figured at least having free food would make the shock a little less uncomfortable,” Jess admitted.  “Plus, we can sit and discuss the case while we eat.  I’m thoughtful like that.”  She smiled awkwardly and then scratched the back of her neck. “I’m trying my best, at least.”

“Uh--no no, not how like ‘I’m twenty-one but I still need someone to give me the sex talk,’ how as in ‘when did you start seeing someone?’” She still wasn’t sure how to handle the situation, wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be ignoring it or playing along like it was normal, but everything about this was so far from the Jessica that Kate had felt she was starting to get to know. “Not that that’s any of my business, I mean. I was just...surprised.”

That actually made sense, because Kate was a classic horror movie buff, and she’d seen enough weird shit from the 80′s that ended exactly like this to believe it was possible. “Okay. Well, I don’t totally hate this new you, so it’s safe to say this might be an improvement.” She said with a shit-eating grin.

“Nah, I think I’m getting over it. Unless saying that means the food is off the table, in which case I won’t be over it until i eat at least four or five egg rolls.” She smiled and reached into the bag, digging around to see exactly what Jessica had bought. The older P.I. had good taste, that was for sure. “You know, I grew up in a really big townhouse, one of those fancy ones on Park Avenue. So this isn’t really that impressive.” She said, trying to be dismissive, hoping it would make Jessica feel more comfortable. “Okay, tell me about this case.”

[shcrp-shccter]

thesouthernrogue‌:

“That sounds like a far better idea than it probably is.”

“Oh yeah, it definitely leaves you with a splitting headache and a lot of regret when you come down from the caffeine rush. But the energy you get in the middle makes it worth it.”

[shcrp-shccter]

hridhammar‌:

“Snakey,” Torunn repeated as if it were obvious. Thor rolled his eyes. His daughter had many gifts, but creativity was not one of them.

“I don’t let her play with snakes that are big enough to swallow her,” he said defensively. “I am not that irresponsible.”

“O-oh. Right.” Kate said, fighting back a laugh. But she didn’t want the girl to think she was laughing at her, so she covered her mouth with her hand. “That’s a nice name. I like it.”

She nodded, finally deferring to his parenting. “That’s good. Sounds like good parenting. I can’t say my dad ever let me near snakes of any kind, so I just didn’t have any reference for it. Of course, my dad probably would have preferred it if I got eaten by something, but that’s a different issue.” She  shook her head and smiled again. “Honestly as long as your daughter is happy, that’s what matters.”

[shcrp-shccter]

Kate managed to wait until Jess opened the door to begin asking her questions, but it was a near miss. “--So I was wondering if you had a minute to help with this case I’m working on? I tracked the guy’s credit card and found him at a motel in Long Island, but I don’t know how to find out which room. Should I just rough the kid at the front desk up a little?” She genuinely hoped that wasn’t Jessica’s suggestion. She stepped inside without really asking if she could come in, because they were tight now, and that’s how friends acted with each other. Jess--and her massive belly--would just have to be okay with that. “Wow, you’re getting so big!”

@akaherosandwich