I feel so much anger for you and you don't even know it. I can't stop ruminating over situations that haven't happened and that I know won't happen but part of me still believes you're capable of it. I'm tired and I'm hurt. I feel like no one in this house tries to connect with me. You ask about my family and then make fun of them, you say I can invite people over but you criticise them, you say its my house too but then complain when it isn't arranged to your liking. It's because I love and value you that I feel putting up with all of this is worth it but I just know that if I acted how you did, I'd be gone immediately. Especially after the wedding, you were so happy and laughing with everyone and having real conversations but then I was forced into a box because you kept bringing up the same bits and jokes about me. You never try involve or joke with me anymore, its always at me and I don't understand why. You invite me to social events but it's only when you don't know the people or when you don't want to go so I just become the dancing monkey to distract from what I'm guessing might be you lacking social skills? I don't know. I feel really lost with my relationships right now, especially this one. I feel like my ability to stand up for myself has been lost since living with you, I'm walking on eggshells and feeling so anxious it's making me sick.