oh hi! @shestabsshit2inchestotheleft - Tumblr Blog

There’s a liquor store near my house that seems to be run exclusively by frat boys. They lovingly curate these bags, which I browsed today while “Oops I Did It Again” played through the store speakers. This is art to me, there is beauty everywhere for those with eyes to see it

thepaisleyelf

The update everyone has been waiting for….

virtualgirladvance

everytime i see this it makes me want to buy from them exclusively

sobcat

ready for what the next week brings...

c-rowlesdraws

to the beautiful woman reading this: you have forgotten a half-drunk mug of tea or coffee somewhere in your home. It has gone cold. Go and find it.

#jokes on you #it was a cold brew

blumineck

How to dodge an arrow (if you have the requisite training and safety procedures!)

mememuseumofhistory

justsomepetermemes

shestabsshit2inchestotheleft

Yep. The apartment my mom and I lived in, circa 2001.

justsomepetermemes

shestabsshit2inchestotheleft

I mean... how do you even call this in? "Scuse me, local small town police dept. I have it on good authority that my ex has hired a birthday clown to *checks notes* 'clap sarcastically' at my softball games. I'mma need your to um... arrest her for... stressing me out."

hong-kong-phooey11

#happy Wednesday

blondebrainpowered

Racine Wisconsin Belles, playing the South Bend Blue Sox, 09/14/47. All-American Girls Professional Baseball League.

Photo credit: Everett Collection

#this is why pants

worklifegiggles

And Then Their AUDACITY To Question My PERFORMANCE...😤😠

thelibrawrian-deactivated201912

i was thinking about the weirdest phone calls i got when i still worked at the public library and i remembered this one phone call. it was probably less than 20 seconds long, but it still makes me laugh.

anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual “public library, how can i help you?” spiel, she said, “i have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?”

it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so they’re easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, “okay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?” i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said “thank you!” and hung up.

i never heard from her again. i hope she won whatever argument she was having.

tehzii

for about a year, i worked at a call center for sprint. i have a similar kind of story. a woman called, and said she had a question about the call history on her bill. “sure, let me just pull up your account-” and she cut me off going, “no, no, it’s not anything specific, it’s just. so, if you change the time on your phone, does that change the time on the bill?” “uh… no? the time on the phone doesn’t matter, the call history is recorded by the towers.” “ohhhh” she said in the saltiest voice i have ever heard “so even if you changed the timezone it wouldn’t change the time on the bill? to, say, the middle of the night?” i stg yall i looked into the camera like i was on the office. “um… no? it would still be the local time of the tower. is there anything else i can help you with?” to me, overly chipper: “nope! thank you! have a great day!” turning on someone as she hung up: “she says yoU’RE A LYING SACK OF-” i still mean-snicker every time i think about it.

ladyzolstice

i used to work in a call center for a roadside assistance company, from late 2015 to early 2016. it was easily the most miserable job i’ve ever had, and the turnover rate was very high. people stuck on the side of the road tend to be quick to anger - understandably so - and it wears on you after awhile.

so i had been having a string of very time-consuming, draining calls. my line rings again, i steel myself for another angry caller, and i pick up. “[redacted] roadside assistance, how can i help you?” i chirp, in my Customer Service Voice.

“yeah, hi,” a gentleman with a thick southern accent responds. “my motorcycle won’t start.”

i brace immediately for another long call. motorcycles were notoriously difficult to work with - a lot of insurance companies wouldn’t insure them, and a lot of tow companies refused to pick them up because they require a specific sort of trailer.

“i’m sorry to hear that, sir. what’s your current location?”

“oh, i’m just at my house. i was wondering if it would be okay for me to just load it into my trailer and take it to my buddy’s shop. would that interfere with my insurance?”

i click through his account and am Relieved to discover he’s in the clear. “No sir, it looks like you’re good to go. Can I help you with anything else?”

A pause. “Have you heard the good news?”

My Anxiety, which had been receding, suddenly spikes into the fucking stratosphere. I live in the rural south. The “good news” usually means “Jesus” and i was in no mood to be proselytized to for god knows how long.

i steel myself for the Religious Talk. “What news, sir?”

“McDonald’s is now serving breakfast all day!”

I laughed so hard I almost cried. I hope that guy ate as many hashbrowns as he could.

hollowflight-propaganda

Once in my old private school with only like 20 kids maximum, we started having a debate about this:

I’m not kidding.

One kid had a bag of goldfish crackers, and everyone somehow started to yell at each other about if the main fish is yellow or orange.

I became one of the spearheads for yellow, and my argument was that yellow was the base color and the orange is being used as shading, so it’s not actually orange. But the kid who was the spearhead for orange (let’s call him David) WOULD NOT listen to me. (he was always an asshole though, so it’s not too surprising)

This got so heated that the one guy who was in my grade (let’s call him Paul (half the kids had bible names anyway)) was looking at the back of the bag and found a phone number. I think it’s supposed to be there if there’s a problem with the food or something, but he thought he’d try to call to see what they’d say about our dilemma.

I don’t know exactly what the person told him at first, but Paul explained the situation to them and then they put him on hold for a couple minutes while we waited in suspense. I have no clue what they did to fact check this for us, but they pulled through, AND IT WAS YELLOW!!!!!!!!!!! EAT SHIT DAVID!!!!!! >:DDDD

We broke into a cacophony of either joyful cheers or enraged disappointment. I’m not sure if the person who answered our burning question could hear us, but I hope they did and got some joy out of it.

bianca-hooks123

I would have been on the side of goldfish being, ya know, GOLD.

sailermoon

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

In both mass effect 1 and mass effect 3 shepards intro cutscene is her walking through a space with people bumping into her all the time. this is a metaphor for how she is set on target and determined to carry out her mission but the world around her is constantly interfering and trying to stop her advance, a theme that will prevail across all three games. in this essay i will