A Repost of Something Important
People have asked for this and I canāt find it after my old Tumblr went kablooie. So here it is again.
Han and Leia and consent and kisses.
Think back to ESB. Han, Leia, Threepio, and Chewie are parked inside an asteroid, hurtling through space, with the Empire camped out on their position. The fact that the asteroid is moving and Leia asks Han where they are at the end of the whole ordeal is enough to speak to ālostā as far as Iām concerned. And maybe Iām reading way too much into this scene, but hereās how I see the whole exchange leading to that fantastic kiss in the maintenance bay:
Leia is working on a repair to the Millennium Falcon. Letās start here. This ship is the one thing that we all know that Han Solo holds dear, and heās just let her take a welding torch to it. The level of trust that shows cannot be overstated. He comes to see how things are going and he calls her a pet name that he knows irks her.
And when she asks him not to do that anymore, he responds by using her given name in a tone of voice that says he might as well just have called her ādarlingā.
Then sheās being stubborn and hurts herself. He takes her hand. He massages her hand. She tells him to stop, but makes no move to take her hand from his. If she had, I guarantee heād have let go, but he didnāt- he asked her why she wanted him to. If sheād have answered, āI donāt like my hand heldā or āIād prefer you didnāt touch meā heād have let go. But we all know thatās not how she really felt. So she gives him a lame reason.
And he challenges her. Ā āWhat are you afraid of?ā he asks.
This is where stuff gets really complicated and really important. We all know that Leia is almost certainly suffering from some degree of PTSD. Han may or may not know that she was tortured aboard the Death Star (like we do) but itās very likely that he knows thereās something. Her body language in this moment is fearful. Sheās withdrawing, moving away from him. Sheās being cornered, closed in on, and her wiring is telling her to run like hell. Her primitive brain is terrified. Han sees that fear, and he asks her whatās causing it.
When she says āIām not afraid,ā thatās a big deal. There are times when someone with PTSD decides with their rational brain that they are safe and okay enough to white-knuckle their way through a triggering situation, knowing that it will be better in the long run to have gotten through it. So when she says āIām not afraid,ā what sheās also saying is āplease ignore the message that my broken wiring is sending to my body and listen to what Iām saying. I know that Iām not really in danger and I will not let my PTSD take over.ā
Han accepts this. But he also points out to her how heās gotten the idea that thereās fear present. āYouāre trembling,ā he tells her.
Again, Leia asserts that her rational brain is in charge. āIām not trembling,ā is less a denial of the reactions that her body is having and more a further plea for him to ignore it. And he does ignore it. He moves closer and closer to her, speaking softly, acknowledging that he knows she likes him so itās okay to come clean.
And itās cute.
And even if you think that everything I said above is bollocks and that Iām overanalyzing what is just Leia running from her feelings and a heap of romantic tension, this next bit is truth and itās critical:
He moves in to kiss her- but doesnāt.
He stops his lips less than a centimeter from hers. If she wanted to say ānoā or āstopā or āgo awayā she could have. She moves to kiss him first. Her lips move first. That is everything. He makes very clear his intention, but he lets her come to him. This is the best. He didnāt just presume consent. He talked an awfully big game, and when the time came we all thought that heād kiss her and sheād like it. But instead, he made sure she knew that he wanted to kiss her and waited for her to make a move. In the extended version (which I understand got trimmed for pacing, but itās better IMO) that kiss lasts a moment, and then Leia looks at him, says, āokay hotshot,ā and kisses him harder. Sheās in charge.
Han may seem like this totally rough-around-the-edges macho guy, but he knows how to treat a lady: with respect, autonomy, and agency.
Thus making them my OTP for life. Way to respect a lady, Solo.