pride from despair

Dave, 29. If you're looking for a one-stop shop for almost endless reblogging, you've come to the right place. if there's a theme to this blog, you're more than welcome to figure it out and tell me. I'd love to know. there's a lot of Metal Gear reblogs, I'll give you that.

[lazarus-lazuli]

i have no comment this is just the funniest fucking thing i’ve seen all day

[wonderarium]

this sewing pattern just touched me while i was in the middle of reading it

[teaboot]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

[teaboot]

Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"

4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect

[cryptotheism]

I just felt someone Z-target me

[search-queery]

[clearly circle-strafing you] don't be ridiculous

[gasteracanthacancriformis]

have i ever shown u people my hand sofa

[gasteracanthacancriformis]

my prized possession is this loveseat I bought from a divorced dad who couldn’t tell me anything about it and in the years i’ve owned it i’ve never been able to find out who made it or where it came from. it’s got nails and finger creases and palm lines but they’re all kinda hard to see in this pic.

[sepdet]

[emeraldwhale]

[kleefkruid]

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

[elierlick]

My new favorite thing is journalism that treats the United States like we do other countries.

[tall]

[sound-overlord]

[crplpunkklavier]

we bought a shirt at a thrift store that says "best mom in louisiana" for some reason (as a reminder we are in midwest germany) and now my spouse keeps walking around the house wearing it and saying shit like "WHO STANDS BEFORE THE GREATEST MOM OF LOUISIANA?"

[simply-a-dream]

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

[creative-anchorage]

[suriandtaal]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

Ccan i hit?

I would parry every blow?

[infectiouspiss]

blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

[thegenderdruid]

blowjob? more like job blows! #employed

[qi-mera]

More of you need to learn about these ☝️

[jadenebula]

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[zoesupreme]

well the thing is that's an extremely reasonable concern

[andthepeople]

always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[universeleads]

He works at greggs