they say you cant want something you've never had - but then why do i ache to be close?
to be seen.
to be heard.
to feel safe to finally rest.
to finally let go of a part of me that feels so misunderstood, so underestimated – as if there is something wrong with me.
its not only about love or desire. its about finally being held.
being held emotionally and spiritually.
why are they allowed to want all of that but me?
why are they allowed to feel so deeply and i'm told i'm too much?
is it my overthinking? is it the self-hatred? is it the way i push people away? is it the walls i've built for years to protect myself?
is that what scares them off?
am i what scares them off?














