anyway I'm bored so I made edits at work 🥰
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anyway I'm bored so I made edits at work 🥰
stop making shows about americans in europe… try europeans in america instead. the outrage of not knowing exactly what something costs at a store,, no public transport,, everyone smiling in your face and waiters scaring you by constantly popping up at your table… ice in your water for some reason,, the kind of culture clash i want to see!!
fuck emily in paris i want françois in texas
Has anyone else written the essay on how MCU Clint is actually canonically better at combat than Natasha or Yelena?
This is not an opinion piece, and it actually goes deeper into who they are as characters than what their skillsets specifically are. Natasha was ok with hurting someone if it meant saving them. She had a brutal upbringing and training, and she's not afraid to break things in order to fix them. Clint on the other hand goes out of his way to avoid hurting.
In Budapest, Clint refused to take Natasha out. He didn't take the shot. However, based on everything we know of Natasha, she wasn't about to just let him walk up and talk to her. Whether the arrow marks in her apartment are from an initial confrontation or made during their later escape (or them being chaotic and bored), at some point Clint managed to get her to not fight him long enough for him to offer her a way out.
In The Avengers, Natasha goes after Clint to stop him from bringing down the helicarrier. It's a crude, no rules style fight that lasts only a few seconds, and Nat knocks Clint out. This is the only time she actually bests him, and he is 1) being mind-controlled and 2) clearly exhausted to the breaking point. An argument may also be made that he was even holding back, based on Selvig building in a backdoor to shut down the portal while being controlled by Loki, and Clint purposefully failing to kill Fury by shooting his vest - there was some awareness of who they were underneath the scepter's power.
In Civil War, Clint and Natasha spar for a moment, though neither one of their hearts are in it. We can't be certain what the outcome of this fight would have been, as Wanda interrupted it. But, based on Clint's reaction - taking offense that Wanda went after Nat and could have hurt her - he wasn't concerned about that outcome. Wanda even accuses him of pulling his punches, which Clint does not deny.
[Clint as Ronin, aka Clint hurting, is another essay for another time, but I think it's significant how much of a polar opposite his actions as Ronin and his actions as Hawkeye are to each other.]
On Vormir (sob) Clint actually gets the better of Natasha. This isn't directly hand-to-hand combat, but he surprises her and pins her one time, and then knocks her aside with an explosive arrow the second time. Again, specifically making an effort not to hurt her, but to get her out of the way. Clint later struggles with the fact that Nat was better than him, and that it should have been him. But the only reason it was Nat is because she ran after him - after he had stopped her and jumped off the mountain's edge.
Fast-forward to the Hawkeye series. Clint's first fight with Yelena is a mess. He's unprepared, and also trying to keep Kate safe while dealing with both Yelena and Maya. We don't see much of Clint and Yelena's actual fight here, but one move that is highlighted for us is when Yelena gets the draw on Kate. Rather than taking her out while her attention is distracted, Clint steps between them to protect Kate without hurting Yelena. Interestingly, here it's Kate who shows she's not afraid to hurt (shooting Maya), and the encounter ends with all parties retreating.
[Related note: Clint also makes a visible effort not to truly hurt Maya, despite knowing she wants to kill him and is fairly capable of doing so.]
Lastly, we have Yelena fighting Clint in the finale. Her sole mission is to kill him and again he knows this. Yet during their entire fight, Clint does not make a single offensive move against her. He has her by the back of the neck and merely uses the moment to speak to her. She comes at him and all he does is put his hand out to ask her to stop. He holds her in a potential stranglehold and again spends valuable seconds telling her about her sister, until she frees herself.
Yelena then comes after Clint with her baton. And he lets her. This is the one that gets me. Clint makes no effort at this point to defend himself. Talking about Natasha, seeing Yelena's pain, has brought all of his survivor's guilt to the front. Yelena told Kate that actions matter more than words. In this scene, Clint first tells Yelena he doesn't deserve what Natasha gave him, and then also shows her that he believes it. There is calculation to Clint's actions here, taking Yelena's punishment until she exhausts herself and draws her gun. Then he uses Yelena and Natasha's whistle, and it takes all the fight out of her.
There are many complicated layers to this - Yelena and Clint's grief, her rage, his guilt, and the clear role of his over two decades of experience. Clint lets Yelena get the better of him because he can't bring himself to fight her, and yet he's still controlling the fight the entire time. I think at the end there was a fifty-fifty chance he was going to use the whistle or choose to stay silent and let her kill him. I also think his family and Kate are what tipped the scales. When Yelena says "I loved her so much" and Clint says "me too" and then places his hand on Yelena's shoulder, he's offering Yelena the very same thing he offered Natasha: Not a fight. A way out.
TLDR; Clint Barton in the MCU is canonically a better fighter than the black widows, and yet he chooses repeatedly not to hurt them, but to help and save them.
— Jean Rhys
NSFW will be tagged as #lemon sorta NSFW is #Lime Weird fet shit/ extreme NSFW is #orange reblog to spread awareness that we’re back on the citrus scale
Let’s get back to basics. Kinda funny we rename things like we’re outlaws that try to cover up there crimes!
why have i never known about orange
Orange was originally like…a PG-13 warning. You would tag orange for fics that stopped at making out. What you’re thinking of is “Grapefruit”. The scale goes as such: Orange (PG-13, basically making out like I said) - Lime (Non-explicit sexual actions, think an M rated fic instead of NC-17) - Lemon (explicit, graphic sex, the NC-17 fics) - Grapefruit (hardcore/weird stuff)
Reblogging for the citrus correction of orange and grapefruit
It is so weird seeing people rediscover the fandom of my youth. I haven’t used the citrus scale since I last lied about being 18.
This makes me feel old.
Oh that’s what grapefruit is?
i see the younglings post things like "are you still on tumblr at 30?" and "go take care of your kids instead of reading fics"
and i just feel sad
because you have a bunch of young people who are terrified of getting older.
they think age is going to change them, into something boring, something different, something grey.
and i just want to tell them, reassure them:
you will still be the same person.
isn't it wonderful?
you will love the things you love for so many years. you will find joy in the same things, decade after decade. you will feel the same inside, through all this time.
yes, the body will change. yes there's more responsibilities, less time, even less energy.
but there's no magical age where you stop enjoying that specific story, that specific game, that specific hobby.
but you know what also comes with age?
you have less fucks to give.
I turn 50 in July. I had this HUGE list of things I had to do, that I absolutely KNEW I had to be, before I turned 30, or I was a total failure. I didn't do any of those things, and it didn't matter. I was CONVINCED that by the time I was 40, my life was basically over. All the fun stuff I liked, all the music I liked, the games I liked to play, all of it was done for some reason, and I would be a Boring Adult. ALL OF THIS IS BULLSHIT. I am here to tell you that when you get older, it's fucking AWESOME. You don't put up with anyone's bullshit. You figure out who deserves your time and attention, and you have the fucking BEST TIME EVER with them. All the time. I still play video games. I still go to concerts. I do everything I can to see and validate and celebrate young people when they come into my life, because I want an entire generation to know that the lies media and advertising tells you about life basically ending at 40 so you'd better buy all the shit they're selling you is GARBAGE. The older I get, the cooler and more awesome my life is. I am still the same punk rock weirdo I was when I was in my 20s, I'm just wiser and more comfortable in my own skin than I was then. Getting older did not do ANY of the things I believed it would do. If I may offer two pieces of advice on the small chance a younger person than me is reading this: take care of your core strength. When you hit middle age, your body is just weaker than it was, and it's easier to hurt yourself. It takes longer to recover from injury, and if I could change one thing, it would be paying more attention to my physical strength. And the only currency, the only thing the ultimately matters in our lives, is choosing to be kind. The world is a cruel place full of awful people. Don't be one of them.
ok but the dynamic between Kate and Clint is such a good illustration of the generational divide between the old and new heroes. Clint's been through the ringer about eighteen times over by now, he's lost multiple friends, struggles to balance family and work, has to wrestle with the not-so-honorable things that he's done, and all of this has made him pretty cynical towards the whole superhero business. He still does it because he's Clint, but you can see the wear it's had on him and how much it's negated his self-esteem.
And then you have Kate who is obviously very talented, and she's grown up watching the Avengers save the world time and time again, but she's also idealizing and romanticizing the superhero life. When Clint tries to warn her about the costs and the consequences, all she can say in response is "yeah but there's cool arrows and costumes and stuff". She's still so young and innocent and when Clint says "I'm not a role model" he really means it because he doesn't want her to lose that.
It's just interesting to me how Marvel is starting to reveal how the Avengers have impacted normal every day people, going all the way back to the first Avengers movie (and I think Kate is a prime example of a positive impact, while Maya/Echo is a negative impact), but they're also balancing these reactions with how much the older heroes have grown and learned and lost over the years and it's just. it gets me in my feels.
You know what really felt Daredevil-like about episode 3 of Hawkeye (aside from the obvious comparisons to the one-take car chase and “Uncle”)? The fight scene between Clint and Maya. It’s mainly because in Daredevil, the show never downplayed the strengths of their characters. For example, the first fight scene between Matt and Dex.
You have Matt Murdock dominating the fight when it’s close quarters. It’s not even a fair fight, Dex was getting washed. But as soon as the fight goes long range, Bullseye starts winning. And all of this makes sense because Matt is one of the greatest martial artists in Marvel while Bullseye’s main strength is accuracy.
In Hawkeye, Echo dominates the fight when it’s close quarters. Sure, Clint can hold his own, but he was clearly not winning when he was fighting Echo’s fight. But as soon as he got his bow and arrow, he won. So neither character’s abilities got downplayed and Echo still came off as a badass, even though she lost. That’s very much in line with how Daredevil approached the fight scenes and I love it.
Hawkeye 1.03 Echoes
I know everyone misses her but … she was your best friend.
ROGERS: The Musical
Not a single brain cell in this warehouse ok not a warehouse because they’re all converted into lofts
Bonus:
Things I Loved About Eternals
*SPOILER WARNING*
wow that was an amazing movie and it fucked me up I have so many emotions
let’s go down the list of Immortal Family Angst
1. The Immortal Family Angst: First off, the 7000-year-old gods were gorgeous and powerful and petty and human, which is everything I could’ve asked for in a Mythological Deities movie. They’ve definitely got that Greek Mythology Olympians vibe with their differing fields of expertise (what they were made for + what they came to embody over the centuries), but I guess what makes them more or less fucked up than Greek gods is their unquestionable love for each other. Isn’t that such a curse and a blessing?
2. The physical disability representation from Makkari: When she spoke, everyone automatically fell silent, and not once in the film was her disability a hindrance to her. Why? Because her 7000-year-old family members accommodated her needs, which isn’t that impossible to do. (Headcanon: her machine body might’ve been built with deaf ears because constantly breaking the sound barrier might be disastrous to the eardrums, maybe. Also I love her combat style, speed is deadly.)
3. The mental disability representation from Thena: This was done so well, with Ajak continuously reminding her, “You are loved,” with the others supporting her in not wanting to give up who she is, with Gilgamesh agreeing to keep her company through the years and constantly being there to remind her that just because she can’t fight the same way she used to doesn’t mean she is less loved.
Mental illness can become more difficult to deal with when one experiences the loss of a loved one. Thena’s character arc showed that though Gilgamesh was gone, the progress she had made and the determination to stay with her recovery did not become null. Sometimes remembering the love that was given to you is the reminder you need to continue to accept yourself, illness and all. (That cave battle metaphor for mental illness was on point. The Deviant was doomed the moment he quoted Gilgamesh without truly understanding the humanity he’d stolen from him.)
4. Phastos’s loving family representation: How about this disillusioned god of inventions, who saw all the bad that humanity could do and also rediscovered the good that humanity could offer? He’s a gay black man who’s got a happy, loving relationship with his handsome husband and his beautiful son. Wow did I love seeing this on the big screen. (Also his combat scenes? What a badass.)
5. Ajak, Ikaris, Gilgamesh, and fate: Let’s talk about these three. In a way, Ajak and Ikaris’s endings were almost fated due to the choices they made. Ajak could’ve chosen to stand her ground sooner, or could’ve not burdened her favorite child with the heaviest weight she carried. Ikaris could’ve chosen to accept the change of plans and reassessed his faith earlier. But neither of them could shake off the responsibility they were indoctrinated into that easily. Ajak’s favor of Ikaris might’ve doomed them both, but how could a mother love her son and not give him a chance to prepare for the approaching end? Could she have truly avoided raising him in the spitting image of herself? The loneliness she must have felt, with her burden. A Shakespearean tragedy, in the flesh.
In contrast, Gilgamesh did nothing to deserve his fate. Where Ajak was the Mind, Gilgamesh was obviously the Heart. He’s the one who volunteers to dedicate his life to helping Thena live hers. Without Gilgamesh, Ikaris would’ve died in the Amazon forest. He’s the protector, readily sharing comforting words and good food, as well as a badass fist. You could say he’s the purest embodiment of who an Eternal is. It makes me feel some type of thing, knowing that the tale of Gilgamesh is the first human epic we have a remaining record of, and it’s the story of a man who grew into a good, compassionate king and met a very human death. (Interesting how the Deviant became so human-like after absorbing Gilgamesh’s essence.)
Ajak, Ikaris, and Gilgamesh, despite their godly power, are not named after gods. They are named after mortal heroes (Ajax and Icarus from Greek mythology, Gilgamesh from ancient Mesopotamian mythology). Like their namesakes, it was not their power that defined who they were, and for them were reserved the most human ends.
6. Ikaris, Sprite, and immortality: They really came for my throat with the Peter Pan and Tinkerbell reference. Eternal youth isn’t all that great, especially for Sprite or Ikaris. Peter Pan killed his mother because he couldn’t bear to break out of his old way of life. He was unwilling to grow up. In contrast, Sprite wants more than anything else to be able to grow up, but is held in stagnation against her will. But in the end, when Peter Pan is gone and Wendy Darling is the new immortal leader of Neverland, Tinkerbell chooses what Wendy Darling had and leaves her old self behind. She changes.
(In the beginning of the movie, the title Eternals sounds grand and impressive. But near the end of the movie, when Ikaris talks about eternity with Sersi, the name no longer sounds glorious. Eternity sounds like a curse.)
7. Kingo and his faith: Take notes, Ikaris, this is how not to wage a holy war in the name of your faith. Kingo did leave Sprite to loneliness to pursue his love of movies, but at his core, his first and foremost love is for his family. (Something about Fighter Classes and how they throw themselves into danger for the other robot deities does something to my heart.) Despite his love for humanity, he cannot compromise his beliefs. That does not mean he is willing to harm others for that faith, because that is not what faith should be for. (Looking at you, Ikaris.)
8. Druig and his burned-out love: What a way to deal with a morally gray mind-controlling god, whose only wish was for humans to stop fighting and live companionably together. Here’s this deeply tired, flawed person who was unable to lose his empathy, however hard he may have wanted to. He was willing to shoulder the blame for preventing a Celestial’s birth if it meant sparing Sersi the weight, and I think that might be the essence of his character.
9. Sersi and her destructive creation: Finally, we come to the sorceress of myth (named after Circe from Greek mythology). Sersi is the most loving, kind-hearted person, but the power of creation she wields is the most destructive force of all. She shares the same characteristic with Celestials. This movie seems to be saying, ‘look hard at miraculous acts of creation, and make sure you know what the price of that creation is’.
“It is the most natural thing in the world to want to protect the one you love,” said Gilgamesh. Sersi did so, and so did Ikaris. What a shame that it was such a struggle for Ikaris to do the most natural thing in the world. What a shame that Sersi’s heart made a choice that would weigh her down with enormous guilt and terrible repercussions. It should not be so terrible to want to protect, and yet.
(Maybe it’s the way these robot deities were programmed, but every one of these people seem to have an instinctive love for humans and their world. That includes Ikaris, who took one last look back at the beautiful planet he had loved for several millennia, before flying into his destruction. If he had listened to love more than duty, things might be different. But then he wouldn’t be Ikaris. Again, Shakespearean.)
10. Celestials and their birth: What if all Celestials who were brought forth into the world by Eternals are a little in love with them, from that first mind-meld at the beginning of their life? What if Tiamut, while connecting with these tiny implements of birth and creation, saw their sorrow for the destruction of a beloved planet and chose—with a newborn deity’s own free will—to make the sacrifice for these grieving, loving robots? (Why the continuous cycle of rebirth for this specific group of robots? Can this expression of sentiment be explained in any other way than love? Arishem may not be aware how much his tools are loved.)
(Also I can’t believe the eventual death of the universe, which is highly likely considering the actual science of everything, can be explained mythologically as Star-Forgers who grew too compassionate for the products of their creations and chose a slow and certain death over a hard-reset cycle. What a story.)
(If you think of the planet as the mother and the Celestial as the child, the movie is a pro-abortion metaphor. Of course mothers have a right to abortion if the pregnancy is life-threatening. The potential for new life cannot outweigh the free choice of who is already here. It’s a question of seeing humans as mere implements of procreation or as actualized individuals with vibrant lives.)
11. Love can take many forms: Safe, sane, and consensual sex is a perfectly natural activity for humans in love. Cohabitation of platonic life partners is also a perfectly natural manifestation of love. Familial love is a wonderful thing when shared with the right people. Kissing is a beautiful affirmation of love, but it is not a requirement for two people to share a special connection together. The forehead touches in this movie made me scream internally. (Druig and Makkari own my soul, by the way. I don’t entirely understand how this happened. My heart I’ve given to Gilgamesh and Thena. Sersi can have my everything else.)
12. Found Family Dynamics: This actually wrecked me. The way Sersi and Ikaris acted in Phastos’s home, like they felt comfortable to be there, in that house and in that company. The way Ajak loved and cared for her children, and how she tried her hardest to do right by them despite knowing she was merely a tool. The way Druig, Makkari, and Phastos shared a couch. The way everyone laughed around Gilgamesh’s dinner table. The way Sprite told a story. The way Kingo said the word “family.” The way they waited for Thena to wake up. Just, so much about them. (I might need some AU fics to mend the hole they left in me.)
13. The Good Humans: Shout-out to Dane, Karun, Phastos’s family, and the other good humans I’m probably forgetting. Congratulations, your decency and kindness prompted a group of robot deities to fight for your continued survival. Keep being the good parts of humanity.
Conclusion: This is the best multi-character movie I have seen in my life. I became so intensely enamored with all of the individual characters, it was unreal. THIS is how you do a multi-character movie. What a masterpiece.
The Army of Poland employed a brown bear as part of an artillery team in the Second World War. His name was Wojtek (pronounced "voytek") and he worked in the 22nd Artillery Company.
In spring of 1942, after the Soviet invasion of Poland in 1939, thousands of Polish citizens and elements of the Polish military were deported from Soviet territory. They journeyed through Iran to British Palestine.
Along the way, they encountered an Iranian boy with an orphaned bear cub. According to the boy, the cub's mother had been killed by hunters. The teenage neice of a Polish general convinced an officer to buy the bear cub, which they nursed back to health and eventually made their mascot.
The bear was trained to perform a military salute, cuddle with soldiers on cold nights, and even march with them by standing on his back legs. He copied the soldiers in every way, even attempting to smoke cigarettes (he usually just ate them).
When the Polish army finally reunited with allied forces, they were assigned to join the invasion of Italy alongside the British 8th Army. However, the transport ships banned all pets and mascot animals.
The Poles refused to leave Wojtek, and got around the rule by drafting the bear into the army as a legally recognized soldier. He had his own personal records files, his own paycheck, his own dogtag ID number, and even held the rank of Private.
It wasn't symbolic, either. Private Wojtek actually participated in combat at the Battle of Monte Casino by carrying 100-pound crates full of artillery shells. It was a job that normal required four men, but Wojtek did it alone and perfectly, never dropping a single shell. His actions kept the artillery barrage well supplied until Allied forces finally seized the fortified mountaintop from Nazi paratroopers.
In recognition of his excellent performance, Private Wojtek was promoted to Corporal Wojtek and the 22nd Artillery Company made their flag the image of a bear lifting an artillery shell. They still use that flag today.
After the war, Corporal Wojtek retired to the Edinburgh Zoo in Scotland, where he was frequently visited by fellow Polish veterans, who game him cigarettes just like old times. He enjoyed a long and happy life, weighing over 1,000 pounds as any successful brown bear should. There are several memorials in his honor, both in Poland and Scotland.