i believe in poképark 3

he/him, 23 y/o | hey i'm hayes and i love pokémon, dinosaurs, and my partners

[mesa-sys]

smoking that shit that makes you plural, smoking that we’d

[kuuura]

[shittttyproblems]

not today...

[petruchio]

im literally always saying this

[glowcowboy]

“it’s not that deep” it’s not that shallow. now what

[littlemut]

me: “sorry ): can’t come!! got so much to do at home”

me as soon as im home:

[pjackk]

Vodka & benadryl got me feeling like a oyster

[dragongirlbunny]

while i do enjoy 'blatantly obvious lies as a bit' as much as the next gal, i will always break keyfabe if someone needs clarification, because i know it can be hard to parse a joke sometimes, especially via a text-only medium

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[dragonpyre]

[sevastiel]

[mark-gently]

NDA stands for Non't Dalk Aboutit

[noknowshame]

people in fiction are always making plans like "how about tuesday?" and then leaving without elaborating. what time? where? do you even have each other's numbers? deeply stressful

[loreleywrites]

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

[fwuitgummi]

Me after I eat chips in bed and leave a bunch of crumbs

[meanbuddhist]

i want freedom i want freedom i want freedom *is granted freedom* noooooo my attachments

[senatortedcruz]

This is what it’s all about. Saturday night. At home. Switching between the same 4 apps on my phone. Getting scared.

[csny]

the bus is never going to come because im a bad person

[riverpiracy]

barista: hi! what can i get for you today? :)

me, woke up this morning with a "previously on" recap of my life that took care to highlight the long-forgotten plotline where i fired a gun into the air and said "that thing will never come down!": are you guys still doing that drink with the apple spice thing

[lokaror]

skrillex's "bangarang" used to play