i know i want to feel better but i just can't. I survived my 2020-2021 depression period and now life pulled me back to it. Im so exhausted.
I still remember when i would go to psych2go to handle my own mental problems without a single help from anyone. I would download 10+ therapy apps because my autism wouldn't let me interact with people normally. I thought I was awesome, but looking back, i was the most vulnerable person ever.
2022-2023, i was the best at my life. I cured my depression. I would kill a soul if life brings me back to those times. But now, think they did. And it's painful. I want to cry.
What cured me from that depression? Please make me remember. I need that cure. Now im suffocated by my own sadness. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, growling im depressed. But people would call me an attention seeker.
I want to call out. But i hate being seen vulnerable. Hey, i want to die. I want to slice my wrist again like i used to in those years, but people would notice it these days. Aah, now im struggling which body parts should i cut rather than my wrists. But why am i thinking about this in the first place? Why should i hurt myself? Why not hurt people?
The feeling of depression is insane. I have no energy to talk to anyone. They must've think im ignoring them. But im fighting with depression
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