Re reading the raven cycle yet again and the bond Gansey and Adam have is literally making my heart ache.
I feel like the reason they keep clashing so much is that they both represent qualities they each admire but at the same time qualities they feel like,respectively, they are lacking.
Adam struggles a lot in his internal monologue, feeling like his background in poverty and abuse doesn't match the person he wants to represent which is a person collected, sure and confident, a person like Gansey.
"Adam felt the familiar pang. Not jealousy, just wanting. One day, he'd have enough money to have a place like this. A place that looked on the outside like Adam looked on the inside."
-the raven boys, chapter four.
Adam is talking about Monmouth here but Gansey's place, just like his journal, is a metaphor for his true self, the person he is when the Richard Cambell Gansey the third mask falls off.
Gansey on the other hand, has such a hard time understanding Adam but he admires him a whole lot and he desperately wants to believe that deep down they have the same values. He admires how hardworking Adam is, how he doesn't take anything for granted and how he fights alone for what he wants accepting nothing handed out to him that he hasn't earned himself.
"A car was a wrapper for its contents, he thought, and if he looked on the inside like any of the cars in this garage looked on the outside, he couldn't live with himself. On the outside, he knew he looked a lot like his father. On the inside, he sort of wished he looked more like the Camaro. Which was to say, more like Adam."
-the raven boys, chapter thirty one.
Gansey knows he is not like Adam in many different ways and Adam knows he is not like Gasey in just as many others. But Adam feels like his inside looks more like Gansey while Gansey wishes his inside resembles Adam. Their whole relationship is driven by their shared admiration of each other combined with their total inability to really understand where the other one is coming from due to their very, very different backgrounds and upbringings.
Their relationship is so complex and every time I return to these books I'm amazed by how much growth both of their characters achieve and how much they need each other for their characters arcs respectively.
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