Harder to catch on tumblr than the monster in Loch Ness. Here looking for inspiration and tips, so not fandom-heavy. Probably a lot of quotes. And cats.
Here are a few ground rules for my works (to save us time and prevent people from reposting my works):
1. My fics are posted on my Ao3 ONLY. NOWHERE ELSE.
2. If you wish to repost/translate my works, please ask in the ao3 fic comment section, and indicate the following:
where you’d like to post it to
what language you’re translating it to (if applicable)
and let me know the link after the work is up so I don’t accidentally axe it with a takedown request.
*Reposting onto Wattpad (or any of its rehost sites) in English is absolutely forbidden. You don’t need to ask, I’m going to say no.
3. If you see my works anywhere else and it’s not mentioned in the ao3 fic that I have allowed any kind of reposting/translation, absolutely check in with me. If I’ve okayed it, I’ll let you know.
Current fandoms: BSD (fyozai/skk)
Current fics in progress: my breath for yours (fyz/skk/platonic odz | explicit) | ikasama rendezvous (fyz | mature)
To-be-written: meltdown’s sequels 1 and 2 (cw for the series, not the individual fics!)
Other fandom to-write: tokoyo ii (vrains ryoyuu + a surprise character) | unnamed kaishin fic (dcmk for my tenth anniversary on ao3)
A few things you need to know about me:
1. I experiment. A lot. I experiment as much as I learn, and as fast as I learn. Which means you’re gonna see weird things sometimes. Some of which are going to be very dark, and others are going to lift you up like a cloud. You won’t be able to tell how my stories progress (don’t even try because even I don’t know). I don’t stick to a single genre. Never have, and never will.
2. Therefore, I need you to stay safe yourself. IF you subscribe to me and/or my works, take responsibility and delete/disengage with whatever does NOT float your boat. I will tag them accordingly and I will warn you. I’m cool with you ignoring that story or dropping it. I’m also cool with you engaging me properly and discussing with an open-mind why you think certain portrayals are bad, or why I should have portrayed something in another manner, without hurling insults. Anything else, I don’t have time for that.
3. I don’t necessarily agree with everything my characters do/what I write in my story. I can guarantee you that no author ever does.
4. I like cats, the works of the real life Dostoyevsky, keeping my readers in suspense (sometimes), and coffee/tea.
5. If a book is about to be banned, read it while you still can. I’m not saying all of them will be agreeable to you, but there usually is a reason why people don’t want you to read it. But make sure you can stand it and proceed carefully.
6. I'm *very* against anti-intellectualism.
I hope you learn something new reading my works. Or at least enjoy it, I’m not the smartest or the best writer out there, but I try to improve each and every day.
AH I'm so sorry to spam but I've got so many questions and totally understand, you're a busy person with other priorities, but I was wondering if you ever had any minutes to spare if I could ... maybe ask some? Totally preposterous, and an audacious ask-- I won't take offense if this message goes ignored haha i feel a bit embarrassed now, so that might spare my face 🙈
If I’m comfortable with the question, I’ll answer! My speed is the issue since I’m not always here, so if you’re okay with snail replies…
Hi! I don't have a question or anything, I just wanted to gush a bit-- I discovered your fics way back when, and your fics definitely cemented my obsession with ao3 as a whole 🥹 I've always deeply admired the amount of thought you put into your works (I've mostly read your fyozai stuff because that's just where my obsession is and was, but I did read meltdown and peeked at ur other works too) and research, i feel like i learn a lot with each read! Fric-word limit coming in hot- couldisaymoreor-
Aaah thank you! *I* cemented your obsession with ao3? That’s huge praise as a fic writer and I hope it’s a healthy obsession 😂
Great that you checked out meltdown because without them my fyozai fics wouldn’t exist! Not my best work, but the series helped me to work on a lot of things so I have a love-hate relationship with it.
I’m always working on the things that go into my fics, and I’m happy to hear that my readers appreciate that x
My thoughts on the BSD S5 finale (what I did not like, and what I liked, and how real-life issues might have influenced BSD)
⚠️ spoiler alert!
Late to the party because I was busy (and still am, so I've only seen the main spoilers for the last episode). Now, I have loads of mixed feelings.
Spoilers below!
*Takes a deep breath* Now.
The finale violates so many rules of story-writing and characterisation:
First, characterisation: Fyodor, our genius Fyodor, could not simply be defeated by a pair of contacts and fake fangs that even a normal person can tell apart). That is not the same person who had tricked Ace, nor is that the same person who was able to speak with Dazai in code. If Asagiri had made the contact-lenses-and-fake-fangs decision, he had truly done Fyodor dirty. There is an alternative take on this specific plot that I agree with, more on that below in Fyodor's section.
Second, storyline progress: as of Dazai's death in Chapter 109 (and S5E10), we're at the climax of the DOA storyline. There is a rule in story writing that it must always be followed by a "falling action" phase, and it is severely lacking in the finale, and as a result everything feels rushed.
Number 2 leads to loose ends. Lots of them. Sigma is a glaring one. Crime and Punishment another. Nikolai's motives too.
Oh, and that poison Dazai and Fyodor injected. Given that there's no explanation given, the poison violates the rule of Chekov's gun. Asagiri put so much focus on the poison when it was first introduced, and it was just hand waved away? Asagiri, what are you doing? Please give me an explanation soon, this is unlike you.
ALSO, Sigma's death. Really? Asagiri? Bones? Another rule of storytelling is to never write in a character and hype them up only to kill them, unless there is a damn good reason why. And I will be waiting for the damn good reason why. Or for you to write Sigma back to life. That's all I will say about Sigma for now. Give me my precious cinnamon roll!
My first thought when I saw the spoilers was pure anger, because the rushed finale = shoddy writing and is seriously not up to Asagiri's usual standards. I hope this was (at least) partially Bones' own creative adaptation of Asagiri's storyline. I have no qualms about Bones and Asagiri making Dazai turn the tables. After all, BSD still falls into the shounen category, so it doesn't really take a genius to figure out Dazai is going to live and the Yokohama tripartite was going to win (even if I panicked a lot when I saw Chapter 109). However, again, what I do have a lot of qualms with is the abrupt ending, and the way Fyodor's characterisation and the details were handled.
The only believable thing in the S5 finale was Fukuchi's change of heart and motive, and that's only because BSD is still a genre-savvy shounen series.
The main problem is how quickly Bones has written the rest of the DOA arc out, squeezing them into a span of one episode. To make an apt comparison, the storyline exploded like Fyodor's helicopter :-/ There was simply too much buildup (two seasons worth! And around 50 chapters worth of storyline development in the manga!) for it to end this way. It's like that horse-drawing meme (if you don't know what it is, look it up), and it leaves a really bad taste as a viewer. I was expecting a grander scheme or method of reveal, only to be disappointed.
It's unfair to blame Bones and Asagiri entirely, however. There are a few things that might have caused this, but it's highly possible that real-life factors have influenced the way the anime and the storyline were handled.
Harukawa-sensei is not at her best right now, which means progress for the manga is slow, and the anime had only been advertised until Season 5. Which means unless Bones ties everything up quickly, we’ll be left with an incomplete finale.
The intellectual rights for BSD are held by Kadokawa, and the manga for BSD is selling well. They are also getting a lot of money from the anime (from Bones as well since Bones has to pay them royalty fees), but less so compared to their other IP that have been turned into anime (Oshi no Ko is very popular right now, and is top 1 anime IP revenue for Kadokawa according to their most recent report). The BSD anime, however, has struggled with dwindling sales* in comparison to the manga and Bones' other series. One of these said series is an undated, upcoming project (I will refrain from naming it because fandoms are sensitive sometimes) which I think will be announced soon. From an investor and profit standpoint, it's better for the company to finish BSD quickly and focus their efforts on that, especially since updates for the manga has stalled and Bones has done nothing but focus on BSD this year. This means they are feeding Kadokawa money at a loss.
*I wasn't able to find an official investor report for Bones Inc., because unlike Kadokawa, they are not a listed company. If anyone has the official data, please let me know.
On Fyodor:
Right now, I think it's highly likely that Fyodor and Dazai's last scene is Asagiri-canon instead of Bones' own creation. While Bones has deviated from manga/LN canon occasionally, the changes they make are usually not big. This is no longer an era where animes have their own storyline adaptations. However, due to the limitations of an one-cour run, Bones might have changed the details on how Dazai and Fyodor got there. Otherwise, I can't understand why Asagiri would do both Fyodor (and by extension Dazai) dirty like this, this easily. Even his blunder with NLH in the Fifteen Light Novel was more forgivable compared to this. (Yes, I am in severe denial over Asagiri being able to do this to one of the smartest characters in the series. He had hyped up Fyodor's intelligence and observational skills too much for him to fall for this specific trap.)
This does not necessarily mean that Fyodor is completely dead and gone from the storyline. We now know that he's not the final villain (a development that leaves me feeling conflicted because Fyodor is a great villain), which means that there is a high likelihood he will return as an ally given, ah, Fitzgerald's development and the typical shounen manga storyline progression. Or, if he is truly dead, he will continue to influence the storyline in some manner. I based this guess on his lines under the night sky. It's only a wild guess.
Another possibility that's worth mentioning: It has been theorised (and hinted) that C&P is an ability that creates a doppelgänger of Fyodor in a way. There's a chance that it was the ability that died. Maybe. There's also a guess going around that Dazai knows it's not the real Fyodor but the doppelgänger that died, but as of the finale, we don't know for sure. I personally am unsure about this one, because Asagiri has indicated that NLH also works when Dazai touches abilities (see his battle with the Number-ability user in the Azure King/Apostle case, as well as Soukoku's battle with Rimbaud), and Dazai actually held Fyodor's hand after his helicopter crashed. If that Fyodor was an Ability, he would've dissipated the moment Dazai made contact…unless the bandage and cloth act as a barrier (which also does not make sense because Dazai had stopped Steinbeck's ability through his clothes…unless Asagiri had forgotten about that…which he has before.)
Or…C&P allows for body-switching, and Fyodor’s mind/soul switched out before his death? Idek I’m just throwing out guesses at this point. I’m still confused as to what C&P actually does.
This last one, which is my favourite, is that Fyodor fell for the trick on purpose (which, alright, I guess he's choosing the greater good over himself) and chose not to expose Dazai and Chuuya for whatever reason. Perhaps because of the other person he had mentioned. So he's basically acting to the bitter end and paying with his life. If this is true, fine, it absolves Asagiri of his guilt of making Fyodor fall for such a simple trick.
I'm a Fyodor fan, but even I gotta admit he's as resilient as a cockroach (ahem) Dazai, so there's a chance he's really not dead. (This might be my wishful thinking, aha.)
Now, onto things I actually like about the S5 finale:
Soukoku. Enough said. Nice to see you two going about your business as usual. Imagine how much effort Chuuya had to put into not laughing when he shot Dazai.
Aya and Bram's relationship. It's been heavily implied that Aya is the reincarnation of someone important to Bram (manga), more specifically, his daughter (anime). You don't get a lot of relationships like this in anime, and I am stoked (geddit?) to see their relationship development from here. Not from a shipping point of view, but from a familial and platonic (and a knight-and-lady) point of view. Aya is a character filled with possibilities, and Bram seems like a fun character. They have so much potential together. Asagiri, don't ruin it.
Dazai's characterisation: Dazai and Chuuya's little act, and Dazai's influence on Sigma. He could have had Chuuya kill Fyodor immediately, but held off, possibly because he wanted to turn Sigma to be sympathetic and emotionally-attached to the thought of joining the ADA. Now, Dazai is on the side of good, but we know it is within his character to be manipulative enough to do this. Had Dazai made Chuuya kill Fyodor immediately, that emotional connection would have never been established. This is very much in-line with Dazai's method of doing things, and with his characterisation. If that farce actually worked, this is actually a great way to demonstrate how Dazai's darkness can be used for the side of good.
On Fyodor and Dazai: After one movie and three seasons, Fyodor finally acknowledged Dazai! He went from underestimating him to enjoying his battle with Dazai, to finally acknowledging him upon his defeat. Nice.
There's more coming based on Fukuchi and Fyodor's lines, and Akutagawa and Atsushi's last scene, which is great, because I need to know more. There's so much left unexplained and/or unexplored: the Transcendents, Christie, Crime and Punishment and Fyodor, and the Book, just to name a few.
(Also, I quite like Aku's new design :P)
I don't know when we'll be able to see the anime again, but as long as Kadokawa doesn't drop BSD, and Harukawa-sensei takes her time to recover carefully, I'm sure, one day, we'll get an anime adaptation of the upcoming seasons.
Still, I'm desperately hoping that the manga storyline will offer us a more complete explanation.
“When people don’t express themselves, they die one piece at a time. You’d be shocked at how many adults are really dead inside — walking through their days with no idea who they are.”
it's so funny to me that lots of people have this genuine belief that the classics are usually hard to read, serious, boring, pompous, etc... but if you randomly pick up a popular classic book there's a 90% chance it's gonna be the most insane, hysterical, inappropriate shit that you'll ever read in your life. to which most of modern day literature does not compare AT ALL
You’re not a kid anymore. You have the right to choose your own life. You can start again. If you want a cat, all you have to do is choose a life in which you can have a cat. It’s simple. It’s your right.
nobody believes you. They all think you made some sort of bargain or deal. Maybe even consuming souls… but the truth is that you became the most powerful mage in the world by getting enough sleep, studying, and eating right.
On the tragedy of Dazai Osamu, and a “whimsical” god (aka my way of comforting myself after reading BSD chapter 109)
⚠️ Spoiler alert! ⚠️
⚠️ Spoiler alert! ⚠️
⚠️ Spoiler alert! ⚠️ (important things must be said thrice)
(Edit: while I am still blown away by 109, I don’t think Asagiri is going to off Dazai this easily. Still. If it does happen, my point still stands.)
Ooohhhh boy chapter 109. Chapter. 109.
Even Ayatsuji-sensei spoke about how bad things on Bungou were getting on his Twit—X, oops, thanks Elon—account and calling Asagiri-sensei (lol) — and Asagiri-sensei replied! You know it's bad when The Ayatsuji Yukito-sensei says it's bad.
Let’s start with my darling Dazai. As someone who adores L and has lived through L’s death in Death Note, what’s happening to Dazai right now is… painful (extremely) but not unbearable.
So, for someone who adores Dazai, I know none of us want him to die, but in the unfortunate event that he does… I'm going to try to use logic to defeat my sadness.
This is just me trying to make myself feel better, really. Read at your own risk.
On the tragedy of Dazai Osamu, and a “whimsical” god
Dazai Osamu-sensei (I always refer to the character by surname, and the real life Japanese literary counterpart with the suffix “sensei”, both as differentiation and a sign of respect) was someone who had perceived himself to have lived a tragic life. And I use “perceived” because objectively, Dazai-sensei had been someone born into a pretty good life, it was his perception of his life that was tragic, especially after his idol Akutagawa Ryuunosuke-sensei took his own life.
Asagiri has always mentioned the tragedy of Dazai Osamu, specifically, his friendship with Oda and the Buraiha*, was the inspiration for Dazai’s character and storyline. As we have seen in Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era, and Dazai and Fyodor’s conversation in Mersault, it is clear that Asagiri has Dazai take the view that everything in the world is chaos, and while Dazai thinks that god does not play dice, he certainly is whimsical. This was something that Dazai had always known, and once again demonstrated to him painfully in the form of Oda and Gide’s final battle. The “good” does not, according to Dazai’s version of god, have any more right to live or to live any longer than the “evil” does.
In fact, as Oda has mentioned, to Dazai, there is no distinction between “good” and “evil”. There’s only each person or each group on their own side, fighting for what they believe is right. Dazai knows this better than anyone else, and simply chooses to support the ADA because of Oda’s dying words. It just so happens that Asagiri chose to tell the story from the ADA’s point of view, and the ADA, as an organisation, upholds the moral characteristics of justice, righteousness, and courage. Sometimes, however, especially with recent development, I see that Ranpo is becoming smart and learning tricks too.
And the whims not only apply to Oda, they also apply to Dazai. In fact, at this point in time, they seem to apply to every single character except for Fyodor. (We will…get to him in a moment. There’s way too little information on him right now for me to say anything, ugh.)
To Dazai, he and Fyodor could plan many elaborate schemes, but in the end, even they are controlled by the whims of whatever higher power. Some people call it fate—as Chuuya believes—while Dazai merely sees it as someone playing with all the lives on earth. That is what sets him apart from Fyodor—their views on someone’s right to live, and when someone dies. Dazai used to take lives because the concept of “life” itself inherently has no meaning to him, and stopped when Oda gave him a meaning, while Fyodor sees some lives as less important and more sinful than others.
Therefore, even if Dazai did die here, it wouldn’t be because he believed that it’s his fate or not (I’m convinced he’s only using the “fate” angle to wake Chuuya up, which is romantic from a shipper point of view, but it’s not his personal view), but yet another whimsical act of whatever “god” there is out there. There’s a chance Dazai thinks the universe is probabilistic, and that god might not exist. (He just used god in his reply to Fyodor because that had been the phrasing Fyodor had used.)
Again… I’m hoping he doesn’t! It’ll save me a lot of heartache. But my point is, even if he did, we can’t say that we’ve been blind-sided because Asagiri had been building up to it for a while. Because of his namesake, Dazai himself is a characterisation of depression and despair, hanging on a loose thread. Combine that with Dazai’s nihilistic and flippant outlook on life (especially his life!), and also his multiple deaths in canon: 55 Minutes, Dead Apple, Beast… We could and should see him off, and know that that’s how his perception of the world works: it’s fickle, and doesn’t give a damn whether someone’s life or death is fair or not.
Of course, to us, we’d think that’s unfair because one, he’s Dazai, two, he deserves happiness, and three, he’s part of the good guys and they always win…especially in a shounen manga. But I think as someone who reads a piece of work like BSD, inspired by some of the greatest minds out there, we’d have to respect the worldview while hoping for the best. And also, regarding the shounen manga argument… I’d like to point you to the infamous exhibit: Attack on Titan.
After the Dark Era and Storm Bringer Light Novels, I think Asagiri has made it clear that he’s not pulling his punches. He’s not Isayama-sensei, but with the way Dazai’s story has developed, even if it did end this way, it’s not illogical, and it’s certainly not bad storyline development.
It’s just sad and tragic…which fits entirely with the life of Dazai’s namesake.
Dazai’s probably not dead though!
The good thing is…There is a high chance he’s not dead. After I got over my initial panic, I remembered that one of the things hammered into my brain during undergrad was the fact that head wound =/= immediate death, or even death. People have in fact lived with head wounds, just with brain damage. The good thing is, we all know who can fix that. As long as Yosano is alive, there is no reason to fear. And she is very much alive the last time I checked.
There are also some really suspicious visual cues about Dazai’s wounds. Namely the lack of burns, especially since Dazai was shot in the forehead point blank. But that might be due to Harukawa35’s art style, so I don’t have a lot of faith in this. I actually think one of the other torso shots was more dangerous for Dazai than the head shot. There’s an analysis I’ve read on LOFTER on the four shots which is pretty thorough… but it hinges on Asagiri having the medical knowledge, but we all know how awful Asagiri can be at science (remember the heavy water?) sometimes so analysing it using science might not be the most accurate.
I’m going to refrain from talking about No Longer Human because Asagiri has confused himself with the limits of NLH before, and I don’t know whether he’ll remember the rules for NLH this time.
Lastly, it’s also a matter of how long Asagiri wants BSD to live as a series. It is not a stretch to say Dazai is one of the most popular characters in the franchise. It is difficult to kill off a character like that. At the same time though, he’s also based on Dazai Osamu-sensei, so while people would be understandably upset, they would understand and it would fit with Dazai’s origins nicely too. I definitely wouldn’t want to be his editor right now.
Either way, looking at the comments online right now, I hope a repeat of Isayama doesn’t happen again…when are people going to start understanding it’s a work of fiction…
*I still find it interesting that he chose to leave out Dan Kazuo—how does one leave out THE Dan Kazuo?! I know the guy wasn’t entirely Buraiha, but he fought Nakahara Chuuya for Dazai lmao BSD would be so fun with him around.
Now, onto Fyodor…
My biggest problem with 109 is not Dazai, but Fyodor’s true identity. I cannot tell you how much I need that information like I need air right now and Asagiri knows how anxious we all are. There’s a lot I can say about Fyodor, but I won’t, because there’s simply not enough information yet. After reading 109, I was torn between envying and being worried about Sigma.
People have been treating Fyodor like he’s not human, and he’s been behaving like he’s not human (Dazai have remarked how similar they are in terms of their thinking, and we all know Dazai does not think like a normal human being). So, the following suggestions are my pure speculation based on nothing: What if he’s an actual demon? Or a youkai? Or an actual god (because Japan’s Shintoism is polytheist…but this is less possible because rl!Dostoyevsky was Christian, a monotheistic religion)? What if he’s like Sigma, also written in by someone in the Book? Maybe he’s a Transcendent gone rogue (wouldn’t be the first one). Or maybe he’s like Chuuya, possessing the power of a god. I’m literally going crazy and dying thinking about the possibilities. Not knowing is the biggest torture.
What we do know about Fyodor right now is that Asagiri seems to have taken Demons (The Possessed) by rl!Fyodor Dostoeyevsky as his reference for Fyodor’s character. It’s a book that will blow your mind and give you depression and trigger whatever trauma you have. I don’t suggest you read it unless you’re in a good headspace and can manage whatever the book throws at you. This is why I am very much on the fence about Fyodor’s Dual Personality theory, although I want to believe it is true.
Fyodor, as far as I can see right now, seems to be predominantly based on Stavrogin, the central character of Demons, who is the most popular person in the novel, but the biggest sinner Dostoyevsky-sensei has ever created. At first I thought Fyodor was based on Rodya from Crime and Punishment (which supports the split between him and the Fyodor the fandom is referring to as Punishment), then I realised that there actually might be a real possibility he might genuinely just be this destructive.
But really, beyond that, everything about Fyodor is a mystery. I don't have enough time to re-read the manga to carve out anything more about Fyodor.
I guess I'll wait 😕
But anyway! I’d love to see how Asagiri pulls the ADA out of this one. If he pulls a deux ex machina on this arc after all this build up I’d seriously be so disappointed. *side-eyes Asagiri*
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Dazai Osamu/Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs)
Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs)
Additional Tags: Post-BEAST Light Novel (Bungou Stray Dogs), Alternate Universe - BEAST Light Novel (Bungou Stray Dogs), Light Novel: BEAST - White Akutagawa/Black Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fix-It of Sorts, for BEAST, brief mentions of skk, ranpo/dazai and sigma+dazai alluded to very briefly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Top Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs), Bottom Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Soft Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs), Can be read without BEAST knowledge, Don't copy to another site, We should all thank The Book
Summary:
also known as: hakoniwa
In the aftermath, Dazai is saved by Dostoyevsky.
For cheating his chess partner out of their fated showdown, there’s a price to be paid.
And Fyodor is a master at collecting debts.
After all, you win some, and you lose some.
Where Dazai learns the consequences of making himself a king piece on his chessboard, and Fyodor chooses to surrender.
hakoniwa: miniature garden / garden in a box
There’s a lot of pain going around with the newest BSD chapter. I’ll be posting my messy thoughts in a while, but in the meantime... have some fyozai fluff?
