who

tf.....

[vvnnie]

[lilsailorgrl-deactivated2011091]

[youthgonewilddx-deactivated2021]

Come kick it with me in Ohio

[toocooltobehipster]

bro…

[morethanfaqs]

Not all heroes wear capes…

[she-ddevil]

Easy Riders

[unclefather]

other people: *happily married, 4 degrees, 401k plan, good job*

me: *sits on the toilet drunk with my eyes closed*

[lora-mathis]

Prints of this poem available here. 

[tastefullyoffensive]

[animal-factbook]

A dog is only a part of your life but you’re a dog’s entire life

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Your life will get better when you realize it’s better to be alone than to chase people who don’t really care about you.

Thema Davis (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[lowbrowcustoms]

Some days you just got to drink it all in. 🙌 📷: @morals57 #lowbrowlife #panhead #choppers #thelifewealllove #thelife #motorbikes #harley #chopper #motorcycles #lwbrw #lowbrowcustoms

[harleydavidsonfactoryphotos]

[helterskeltered]

[jennyhoelzer-deactivated2016120]

[thelibralesbian]

Sad, tired, trying to pretend like I’m not

[wqsnijkfgefdjhklfvedjhknflvd]

My grandma sent me this video on the trans bathroom controversy. His name is the Liberal Redneck and he is now my best friend.

[matvrity]

I like him a lot

[imafucknmess-deactivated2016051]

he is a sAINT WHATBTHE FUCK

[mysticmisfit89-deactivated20140]

Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada…..

[stickystigmata-deactivated20190]

No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck.

[bioticdisaster]

And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car.

[ghirahim]

moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.”

like, fuck off with that

[fuzzyfishesandscaleymice-deacti]

I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals.

[medie]

They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.” Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people.

[violent-darts]

Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night. Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away.

[harukami]

I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING

Moose are terrifying, you guys.

[soulkind-blog]

I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist.

I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside.

[warsfeils-deactivated20200620]

If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah. 

Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month. 

Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD.

Moose. MOOSE.

[lovedsomuch]

I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this.

[teapotsahoy]

The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that.

[sputnikcentury]

Moose confirmed for actual kaiju.

[finnglas]

Wait so if Trump wins, can we get Justin Trudeau to invite him to Canada and then throw him to the moose?

[shoshanah-ben-hohim]

The year after I graduated from college apparently a moose wandered into town and down the main street on Homecoming  (Homecoming! HOMECOMING! Drunken college students everywhere!) My friend @mrsknightleysdays was still at school and she told me about it. People were less scared then the time a bear rambled around campus freshman year, probably because everyone was too drunk to know any better.

(Our school was very rural, in the mountains. The main street was the only street, pretty much, for context)

[bead-bead-deactivated20190901]

Please, tell us more tales of the moose, for I am an american, and thought them deer-sized.

[jarfulofglassanimals]

Yeah, moose is the most dangerous animal in Finland as well. When you have a country which is mostly nothing but forest, you bet your ass there’s quite a few of them.

I’ve lost count how many times I’ve seen one. There was this one time I was hiking and gotten so far that I was waiting my friends on the meeting point, and because I was early, I decided to have a nap. Some time later I woke up this loud WHOOSH WHOOSH SPLASH sound. Sounded like someone had decided to do butterfly strokes in the pond near me. But no. There was a moose and her two calves six meters from me trotting along the swampy shoreline. And I was like WHOA and sat up. And they freaked out, so I freaked out. Luckily I was on area where moose are hunted so the moose’s first reaction was to run. ‘Cause the cows can get aggressive when they have a calf.

And there are “moose warning” signs everywhere. Moose fences are built around roads, so that the animals can’t get on them on certain points. Except moose migrate. So if the fence is inconvenient for them, they might just jump over it. So now there are also tunnels and bridges built for the animals.

[lemonsharks]

Wait wait so they are bigger than elk????

[star-anise]

Yup.

[saphire-dance]

There is a 6 foot fence around my back yard. The moose routinely jump over it.

One time the school bus kept my kid finished the route and swung back around because there was a moose in the yard.

Remember that Alaska State Wildlife Biologist Jessy Coltrane reminds you to “Assume every Moose is a serial killer.”

[brownies4myybrownie]

No.

[suncoloredzen]

Do all canadians have a moose story?

@mickdickies @turtlerika

[mickdickiess]

NOT THIS EXCITING back in elementary (when i lived in the northern part of bc) we’d get school cancelled because there was a moose wandering town. there were frequently moose tracks in our unfinished backyard

[kings-of-freeside]

Remember when we were in grade ten or eleven (maybe a little younger, I’m not sure) and a moose running around town was front page news in our local paper because I do. It just wandered into town and wouldn’t get out and I had never seen a moose in person until that morning when it was in my neighbourhood and I saw it from my living room window and it was so much bigger than I expected and I finally understood why my older sister’s biggest fear is moose.

[ateensybitofmagic-deactivated20]

So……the moose are fucking murderous dangerous forest beasts? or am i…..mooseunderstanding. 

[laurennohill-deactivated2017010]

Man I really thought they were dear sized and only like freaky mutant moose get super big 😳 scary beast! But I want to hear more stories!

[bellamysd]

@garnet-ruby-sapphire read this shit.

[avatarstateyipyip]

friends: what do you want to do? my brain: die me @ my brain: we can’t say that. these people don’t understand casual existential despair