Shit I've Learned

For when you think "Damn, I wish they had a manual on this"

[shitivelearned]

Sometimes you just have to be mad. You can do therapy techniques, surround yourself with positivity and meditate until the cows come home, but sometimes nothing helps more than just allowing yourself to be angry. Everyone says violence isn't the answer, but sometimes there's no other way to release anger and rage than to do something aggressive - Hit a tree, scream, go to a rage room if you can, just be safe. If you feel trapped in your anger and rerouting doesn't help, many times it's because you have every right to be angry and you're trying to find a way not to be so in a situation where any person would be mad. Coping and regulating is great, but sometimes you're too far in to be able to change what you're feeling and that's okay. Toxic positivity makes us forget that not all of the things that make us human are pretty - Try not to forget that.

[shitivelearned]

If you struggle with putting how you're feeling into words, or you experience physical symptoms before being able to understand where the internal causes are stemming from, I HIGHLY recommend saving and using this chart.

While it's not perfect in terms of every physical experience various emotions can cause, it's a great place to start. I have a lot of situations where I'm overwhelmed and I can't identify exactly WHAT I'm feeling - I just know it feels bad. What makes this chart helpful is you can use it starting from the emotions OR from physical symptoms and trace your way back to possible emotions you're experiencing. I keep this on my phone and send it to friends and family when they're struggling - Many of which have come back to me with shock that it actually helped them identify what they were experiencing and were able to apply whatever coping skills they like to use in order to help themselves.

[shitivelearned]

Doing something half assed is actually immensely better than not doing it at all, contrary to popular belief.

Turning in a late assignment and getting a 50% is better than not doing it at all and getting a 0%. I had many situations in college where I - whether physically or mentally - could not perform at my best. Yet, some of my classes were passed because I had one or two half done assignments, and not doing them at all would have failed me.

Eating several small snacks is better than not having eaten at all today. I'm anemic and chronically ill, and sometimes having had one snack high in Iron was the difference between me being able to be awake and alert and being on the floor unconscious.

Brushing your teeth for 10 seconds is better than not brushing them at all. I told my dentist once during a cleaning that I've always had issues with my teeth, and brushing them felt like a losing battle because they would still be shit regardless. He informed me that they'd actually improved a bit, so whatever effort I was giving was making a difference.

Giving 100% of yourself isn't always literally 100%. If you only had 25% to give today, and you gave all 25%, you gave 100% of what you have to offer for that day. SOMETHING is always better than nothing.

[shitivelearned]

Some people don't care about hearing the truth or how you were impacted by something they did because they were looking for any reaction you'd give to be a scapegoat for a narrative about you they've already decided is true. Try to explain your perspective? Pushy and overstepping. Apply logic and reason? Harsh and unempathetic. Defend your boundaries? Narcissistic and egotistical. Don't focus energy into people that are dedicated to intentionally misinterpreting you.