"Vaya con queso, mi hijo"

I shot a man in Reno, just to add legitimacy to a song lyric.

[shitpost-apologist]

King of Heteronormativity Andrew Tate being arrested wearing something I've seen worn at a gay bar certainly wasn't on my Bin- actually it kinda was.

[shitpost-apologist]

My son, quoting someone else: "Are there any gender-specific crevices?"

Me: "No, but as a non-binary person, I AM packing an unregistered firearm.."

[teaboot]

*Parellel dimension where magic is real but also it smells really bad* [emerging from my wizard tower] do NOT go in there

[tributary]

rules for me and not for thee

[shitpost-apologist]

Precisely how I feel when someone does laundry mid-afternoon on a Tuesday.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[shitpost-apologist]

I've got songs in my head, and they won't go.

Lyrics in my head, and they won't go.

[oneheadtoanother]

[shitpost-apologist]

Barney is a dinosaur from our hallucination, but when he's tall, he's what we call a blight on every nation.

[hysteric-boy]

Do you wanna go beat eachother up in the woods? (Flirting)

[girlmostlikely]

Anybody else love making coffee and doing fuck all

[shitpost-apologist]

This has been the energy brought to the table by me for the entirety of this day.

[shitpost-apologist]

I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you.

Take me back to the night we met.

[teaboot]

laundering churchtalk should get you put down the mines

[X]

[shitpost-apologist]

You never treat me to barbecue, you never write me fanfic in a pencil skirt. Never visit me in Cuba, play me songs on the tuba, never cc me in your emails to the president.

You never ask for my autograph, never challenge my landlord to an Agni Kai. You never tell me I'm awesome while you're dressed like a possum, you never cure my scoliosis when my spine is bent.

[aidashakur]

[nevver]

Happy Summer Solstice, Sarah Theresa Lee

[shitpost-apologist]

The upside of my new earplugs and sleep mask is that I've never slept better. The downside, of course, being that I've never been easier to murder in my sleep.

[shitpost-apologist]

Perhaps my favorite inside joke is drinking rootbeer and then saying, unprompted: "Wow, you can really taste the Root in this"