awkward/funny/stupid directions for performers

Have you ever gotten a piece with such weird directions from the composer that you had no fucking clue what to do? This blog is for you! We worship the death waltz. Please include the name and composer of the piece in submissions.

[catchymemes]

Instagram: @hamderkasper

[classical-crap]

ah yes, my favorite tempo

[phase2-moved-deactivated2021073]

Playing the 2nd part in an arrangement is the bottoming of band music

[official-coloratura-soprano]

this is so sad Alexa play John Cage 4’33

[classical-crap]

violin concertos through the eras

baroque era: oh yes…sixteenth notes…third position…some vibrato…sequences…yes…

classical era: hey look the violin is pretty neat and it can play some hella high notes sometimes. look at that mozart dude go

romantic era: I just have so many FEELINGS and so much TECHNICAL ABILITY and I can only express my FEEELINGS with excessive octaves and tenths

modern era: we are upset and we will take it out on this screechy scratch instrument

[weloveshortvideos]

x

[rynabuns]

what on earth

[edvardgrieg-official]

please if you do anything useful in your life, don’t scroll past this

watch it

PLEASE

[whyisthisfrenchguymasturbating]

tchaikovsky is proud

[tinker-tanner]

In case anyone is baffled by this, there’s a Tchaikovsky piece in which there’s supposed to be a loud sound but he never specified what you should use to make that sound. People have done all kinds of weird shit depending on how they think the sound should, well, sound. Hitting a large piece of wood with a sledgehammer is a relatively conventional one.

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

"Augmented unison", a new phrase to excuse my piano mistakes at lessons

“it’s 20th century”, I say, smashing the keyboard

[musicmajormemes]

We all know one.

[popculturebrain]

THX Just Shared the Original Sheet Music for its ‘Deep Note’ for the First Time

Look at this lad. Image: THX, Ltd.The Deep Note, the distinctive synthesized crescendo that is THX’s audio trademark, is one of the most iconic sounds in all of film. For the effects firm’s 35th anniversary, they’ve now shared the sheet music behind the sound.

[gecsplaining]

thanks i hate it

[doctordisaster]

how dare you i love it

[awildpaige]

I can hear this image and I’m crapping myself as is standard

[yo-its-matt]

Can you imagine a choir singing this and how chilling that would sound

[yes-im-a-simple-man]

When you keep making mistakes on the piece but the performance is coming up soon so at this point you have to practice playing through it without stopping no matter what

[violapianolife-blog]

If you don’t make futile attempts to learn pieces that are way above your skill level and weep at your own inadequacy are you even a musician

[femcassidy]

stripping to gregorian chants

[shitty-composers-notes]

that choral music nerd feel when you have a piece stuck in your head and you wanna listen to it but it’s a really popular latin text and you can’t remember the composer and it’s not the most famous version so it’s literally impossible to find

[mybrainkindahoyts]

Some more interesting captions I ran into in this amazing ensemble today.

[four-flats]

Ah yes, the 4 voice parts: sporano, atlo, tneor, and bsas

[classical-crap]

wat

[the-baethoven]

some stagehand probably: mr. tchaikovsky sir we cant actually hit the drum this hard it will break the instrument

potyr ilyich tchaikovsky, wheeling a cannon into the theater: does it look like i give a fuck, johann