ѕσмєтιмєѕ ι ƒαℓℓ ιη ℓσνє. му нαтє ιѕ ѕαƒєя.
𝓜𝓮 & 𝔏𝔞𝔴𝔰
we're not kids anymore.
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
cherry valley forever
dirt enthusiast
AnasAbdin

Origami Around

#extradirty
🪼
noise dept.
KIROKAZE
tumblr dot com
Cosmic Funnies

oozey mess
DEAR READER

if i look back, i am lost
Keni

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
trying on a metaphor
No title available
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
seen from Iraq
seen from Brazil
seen from Germany
seen from Germany
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States

seen from Philippines
seen from Indonesia

seen from Türkiye

seen from United States
seen from South Korea
seen from South Korea
seen from Jordan
seen from Jordan
seen from Jordan
seen from Belarus
seen from Germany

seen from United States

seen from Mexico
seen from Mexico
@shittycatguard-blog
ѕσмєтιмєѕ ι ƒαℓℓ ιη ℓσνє. му нαтє ιѕ ѕαƒєя.
𝓜𝓮 & 𝔏𝔞𝔴𝔰
“Well you see-” lifts the bucket up before throwing it to the ground and makes a break for it.
“You can’t run away from me, inmate!” He chased after Jyugo.
@shittycatguard
Stares at the bucket in his hands, “Cats don’t like water huh…i swear i can explain.”
“You fucking better. I’m also not actually a cat.”
🌊
🌊 - Dump water on my muse
“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!”
Mess with my muse!
Send one to-
✍️ - Draw something on my muse
👻 - Jump out and scare my muse
🤑 - Money gag my muse
💦 - Sprinkle water on my muse
🌊 - Dump water on my muse
🍞 - Throw bread at my muse
💋 - Repeatedly kiss my muse
🤛 - Play punch my muse
💪 - Lift my muse up
🤠 - Put a silly hat on my muse
👅 - Lick my muse
🤧 - Sneeze on my muse
👈 - Poke my muse repeatedly
👀 - Uncomfortably stare at my muse
🌱 - Throw grass at my muse
🍂 - Push my muse in a pile of leaves
ѕσмєтιмєѕ ι ƒαℓℓ ιη ℓσνє. му нαтє ιѕ ѕαƒєя.
𝓜𝓮 & 𝔏𝔞𝔴𝔰
REACTION MEME: Bruised and Broken Version
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“Woah, when did you get that?”
“Who did this to you?”
“How many time have I told you to be more careful?”
“You’re saying this was an accident?”
“What a shiner!”
“If you look like this, I’d hate to see the other guy.”
“I’m not buying it, you don’t walk into a door and get a bruise like that!”
“Does it hurt when I touch it?”
“Let me kiss it better.”
“If you don’t rest, you won’t heal.”
“Another fight?”
“What happened to your face?”
“I don’t think your arm is meant to bend like that…”
“Let’s get you to bed.”
“Let’s get you to the hospital.”
“Why are you so calm about this?”
“You’re bleeding!”
“What are friends for, ey?”
“So, instead of helping you, they ran off the moment they saw what was happening?”
“You need to look where you’re going.”
“I’m not accusing anyone, I’m just saying it looks suspicious.”
“Do you want to tell me what really happened?”
“Don’t move! You’ll faint!”
“I’ve got some bandages, wait a sec.”
“You’re the clumsiest person I know.”
“I won’t let you be on your own, not when you’re like this.”
“How could you be so careless?”
“I can’t even look at you, you promised not to get into any more fights!”
“H-how many of them were there?”
Give my muse a nickname. They will tell yours whether they’ll let you call them that or not.
For multi-muse blogs, specify which muse.
Tol & smol sentence starters
(some are jokey, some can be insults, some for tall people, some for small people)
“I’m so glad you’re tall, you know?”
“My feet are so small I can get my shoes cheap from the kids’ section so who’s the real winner?”
“You’re tall, can you reach that for me please?”
“Can you not put the chocolate on the top shelf? You know I can’t reach”
“You’re the perfect height for an arm rest”
“How tall are you anyway?”
“Us short people can hide in places you couldn’t think of”
“Once I got drunk and told somebody I was 5′12"
“I bought you a stepstool so you can reach the kitchen cupboards”
“You’re too small/tall”
“You’re in another level of the atmosphere up there”
“You’re so close to the average height of a primary school child”
“If anyone laughs at your height I’ll end them”
“I’ve always been the tallest/smallest of my friends”
“You can’t deny you’re small/tall at (height)”
“I don’t think I’ve grown since I was 12″
“If I knock you out you’ve got further to fall”
Even More Unusual Asks
😬- If you bit someone, would it hurt? 🏨- Name a time you were badly injured. What happened and what caused it? 🏆- Do you consider yourself competitive at all? What will you do to win a game/fight? 🥘- Are you good at cooking? What is the best dish you have made. Alternatively, how bad are you at cooking? What’s the worst dish you’ve made? 🌴- Do you like going on vacation? Or does your boss force you to take a break? 🐚- When treasure hunting, what do you look for? Stuff that sparkles and shines or dusty ancient relics? 👓- How good is your eyesight? Do you ever need glasses for anything? 👛- What are the contents of your purse/bag/pockets? 👘- Describe your formal attire. What would you wear to a wedding, fancy dance/date/dinner, funeral, or similar formal events? 🐩- What dog breed bests suits you? 🐆- What cat breed best suits you? 🐻- What wild animal best suits you? 🎀- Do you like cute things at all? What is the cutest thing you have or have met? 🎉- What is a typical birthday celebration like for you? How do you go about celebrating other people’s birthdays? 🗝- What is looped around your key ring? 🛁- What do you do to treat yourself? 💉- Do you dislike shots and injections? 🌅- Are there any scenic locations you would like to live out your retirement in? 🍸- Do you need to relax right now? What do you do when you take the day off? 🏰- If you owned a castle, what would you make it look like? 🚏- How good are you with directions? Do you get lost easily? ⚽️- What games did you play with other kids when you were younger? 🍱- Are you hungry right now? Are you craving anything to eat?
Friends who get into trouble sentence starters
“I called someone to bail us out last time. It’s your turn.”
“We probably shouldn’t do this.”
“See you say it’ll be fine? But, something tells me it won’t be.”
“Okay, but they are gonna be so pissed when they see what we did to this place.”
“We probably shouldn’t have tried to surf on the mattress down the stairs..”
“I can’t believe we just prank called him/her. What are we like twelve?”
“Let’s just tell them that the dog did it.”
“I’m picking the lock. But, I just realized that I’m not a detective and this is a hair pin I found in my glovebox.”
“Do you think that alarm means that we’re caught?”
“I’ll fill the bucket with water and you distract him/her while I dump it on their head.”
“This is exactly what we need–a night out. Let’s go crazy!!”
“Honestly, I think the car looks better after we crashed it.”
“I rang this guy/girls doorbell and ran away really fast??? And they found me.”
“Why is there a giant teddy bear wearing lingerie in my bath tub?”
“Oh my god, why is there an unconscious man/woman on the floor?!”
“We were supposed to be cooking. But, it looks like a murder occurred in here.”
“We broke the window. I think someone is going to notice.”
“I can’t believe we’re trying to climb through a window to get back a pair of your panties/underwear.”
“Shh, they’ll hear us. This is a terrible idea. You are lucky I love you.”
“That cop did not find it as funny as we did.”
“I told you not to hum the law and order theme song while we were being given a speeding ticket!!”
nonsexual acts of intimacy - select from the following for my muse to respond to:
♔ : Finding your muse wearing their clothes
♕: Holding hands
♖: Having their hair washed by your muse
♗: Your muse falling asleep with their head in my muse's lap.
♘: Cuddling in a blanket fort
♙: Sharing a bed
♚: Head scratches
♛: Sharing a dessert
♜: Shoulder rubs
♝: Reading a book together
♞: Caring for each other while ill (specify which party is which)
♟: Patching up a wound
♤: Taking a bath together
♧: Your muse playing with their hair
♡: Accidentally falling asleep together
♢: Forehead or cheek kisses
♠: Your muse adjusting their jewelry/neck tie/ etc.
♣: Back scratches
♥: Your muse crying about something
♦: Slow dancing
Shipping Call - Send me one if you want to plot one or more of these
💚 - friendship 💙 - kinship ( blood or symbolic familial bond ) 💔 - past relationship 💜 - hateship ( they hate each other but can’t stay away ) 💛 - hateship ( enemies ) 💟 - friends with benefits ❤ - romantic relationship
Drop my muse down a peg. Bring up their deepest insecurities and most regretful past decisions. Do whatever you can to make them hate themselves.
100 Ways to Say ‘I Hate You’
I saw a post about 100 ways to say ‘I love you’, so I thought I’d make the anti-version if it doesn’t exist already. Roleplayers, send these to each other for angst reasons! Tw for emotional abuse, language, and some major rejection themes, though some them are joking and could be used for friendly rivals or pals who play-insult one another. Change or add pronouns as necessary.
“You’re a disappointment to me.”
“I don’t care if you live or die.”
“I used to care about you. Now? I regret every second I wasted.”
“How do you think I feel? I’m pissed off!”
“Go. Just go.”
“If you come back, I won’t be here.”
“I’ve never despised someone as much as I despise you.”
“Ha! You think I care about you? What do you think I am, desperate?”
“I regret ever saying ‘hello’.”
“Leave and don’t come back, ever.”
“Remember when we first met? I wish I didn’t.”
“You’re the worst mistake I’ve ever made.”
“Don’t touch me. Don’t even look at me.” “You took months/years of my life away. I’ll never get those back.”
“I saw a trash bag on the side of the road today. Reminded me of you.”
“I could have been doing so much better than wasting my time with you.”
“You’re a sick bastard, you know that?”
“I don’t care.”
“Go ahead, leave. Don’t worry about coming back.”
“You’re such a piece of shit.”
“I didn’t think you could be any more of a shithead, but you just proved me wrong.”
“You’re so stupid.”
“Why do I waste my time with you?”
“You’re not the person I thought you were.”
“Hey! Just a daily reminder: you’re a piece of shit!”
“I deserve so much better.”
“We’re not friends. We were never friends!”
“I pretended to like you because I felt bad for you! How did you fall for that?”
“I never want to see you again.”
“You’ve done nothing but make my life a living hell.”
“Don’t apologize - you don’t deserve my forgiveness!”
“No, I’m never giving you another chance!”
“I wish you were never born.”
“You’re the last person I wanted to see right now.”
“I’d rather be working with anyone else in the whole world right now.”
“When you get back, your shit’s gonna be on the front lawn. Take it and get out.”
“Go ahead, choose them! You deserve each other.”
“I don’t know what they see in you.”
“You’re an embarrassment to me.”
“You’re an embarrassment to all of us.”
“I wish it was you. I wish it was you to die instead of them.”
“God, why did I have to end up working with the biggest asshole in the world?”
“How could you think I ever loved you? You seriously think I’d sink that low?”
“Sorry, I just puked in my mouth a bit. I accidentally looked at your face.”
“How can you even live with yourself?”
“If I was your mirror, I’d break myself just so you would throw me in the trash and I wouldn’t have to look at you.”
“Being with you was the worst time of my life.”
“You’re a monster.”
“Not a day goes by that I don’t wake up wishing I was dead because of you.”
“I’m going to ruin your fucking life.”
“You said you would change, but you never did! You never will!”
“Some people are just born to fail. Sorry you’re one of the unlucky ones.”
“You’re so worthless, you hardly even exist to me.”
“I wish I could go back to the day I met you, and just walk away.”
“If you give me that look one more time, I’m skipping jump-rope with your large intestines.”
“Honestly, I’m embarrassed to even know you.”
“Ugh, it smells like something died in here. Oh. It’s just you.”
“You need to stop. You hurt everyone around you!”
“Until you get your shit together, I don’t want to hear you complain.”
“Look at you. You’re disgusting.”
“Stop making me look bad.”
“You have a face that makes me wish punching people wasn’t frowned upon in our society.”
“Shut your mouth. I don’t want to hear your obnoxious voice.”
“Go play in traffic.”
“Fuck off.”
“If I saw you in the ocean clinging to a log for safety, I’d save the log and let you drown. At least wood can become something useful, like toilet paper.”
“How could I ever love something as terrible and hideous as you?”
“I can’t even look at you right now.”
“It was all a lie.”
“I never loved you, and I never will.”
“Don’t try to beg. It won’t work.”
“You’re not worth the mud on the bottom of my shoes.”
“Look at you. You’re pathetic. I’ve never seen a sadder sight.”
“I’m going to hurt you slowly, and I’m going to enjoy every second of it.”
“For what you did to them, I’ll do the same to you.”
“An apology? You want to offer an apology? No. I don’t accept it.”
“You’re everything I hate in a person.”
“I wish you were dead.”
“You’re nothing to me. Less than nothing!”
“What a sad sack of shit you are.”
“My life is in fucking shambles thanks to you!”
“How could you? You bastard!”
“I’d rather eat sewage than ever touch you again.”
“Hey asshole, I’m here to ruin your day, just like I did yesterday and the day before that.”
“You’d be more useful if you weren’t even alive.”
“Hey, it’s my least favorite waste of space.”
“Every day that I woke up next to you, I was tempted to smother you with a pillow while you slept.”
“Love you? Don’t make me laugh.”
“Just thinking about you makes me sick to my stomach.”
“You deserve a slow and painful death for what you’ve done.”
“I can’t stand people like you.”
“Stop doing that thing. You know, that thing I hate. Breathing.”
“If I could trade you for a nest of angry wasps, you would be long gone.”
“I can’t wait to dance on your grave.”
“If we were the last two people on earth, I’d be subtracting one.”
“I never want to see the likes of your filth around here again.”
“I’m disgusted by you.”
“Fuck you!”
“If I ever see you again, it will be far too soon.”
“I have three words for you: Burn. In. Hell.”
“I hate you.”
Sparring/Training Sentence Starters
Requested by Anonymous
“Come on, then! Hit me!”
“Your stance is all wrong.”
“Am I doing this right?”
“I feel like I’ve been chewed up, spat out, and run over repeatedly.”
“Get down and give me 20!”
“How many miles/kilometers are we running?!”
“Hey! Watch where you’re swinging that!”
“Nice punch! Now do it again!”
“You won’t hurt me, I promise.”
“My grip feels off…”
“Have you ever used a(n) __ before?”
“I don’t want to hurt you…”
“I think I’m going to feel that tomorrow.”
“If you can lift me up, then you can lift these weights just fine.”
“On a scale of one to ten, how much did that hurt?”
“Here, you put your feet like this…”
“Relax. I’m trying to help.”
“Can you teach me how to __?”
“God, we stink.”
“Are you doing okay?”
“Are you alright?”
“If I do fifteen push-ups, can I be done for the day?”
“Come on! Another round!”
“You can win this time!”
“Work your angle a little more and you got it perfect!”
“What are you doing up at this hour?”
“Where did you get that bruise?”
“Hey, no, stop. You’re going to break your fingers punching like that.”
* VIOLENT ACTION STARTERS Send me a NUMBER for your muse to :
001. — Backhand my muse. 002. — Stab my muse. 003. — Put out a cigarette on my muse’s skin. 004. — Hit my muse with a blunt object. 005. — Throw something large at my muse. 006. — Kick my muse. 007. — Punch my muse. 008. — Break one of my muse’s bones. 009. — Scratch my muse. 010. — Headbutt my muse. 011. — Shoot my muse. 012. — Knock my muse out. 013. — Strangle my muse. 014. — Push my muse roughly. 015. — Grab my muse by the hair. 016. — Bruise my muse. 017. — Threathen my muse with an object of harm. 018. — Go to harm my muse’s eyes. 019. — Bite my muse. 020. — Tear away parts of my muse’s skin. 021. — Force my muse’s head under water. 022. — Throw something scalding at my muse. 023. — Burn my muse. 024. — Step on my muse’s fingers. 025. — Rip one of my muse’s teeth out. 026. — Slash my muse’s achilles tendon ( s ). 027. — Clothesline my muse. 028. — Harm my muse enough for them to cough up blood. 029. — Drive into my muse with a vehicle. 030. — Electrocute my muse. 031. — Slam my muse against a wall. 032. — Force my muse’s arm behind their back. 033. — Kick my muse’s crotch. 034. — Trip my muse. 035. — Put my muse in a headlock. 036. — Break my muse’s nose. 037. — Force their fingers down my muse’s throat. 038. — Crack my muse’s head against a wall. 039. — Attempt to kill my muse. 040. — Attempt to kill my muse creatively.