8 days since moving to Japan. I should be happy, excited and ready to be here. I'm far from. I'm worried, anxious and upset about how very unprepared I am. It could be worse. I could have no money, no experience, no idea or plans, alone. I have quite a lot of money. I'm fortunate and to be honest have always been quite fortunate with that all my life. But that doesn't come without draw backs. Having that lifestyle I had back at home for so long has made me so naive and unprepared about this new move and lifestyle change it actually scares me. At the time of writing that I feel how pathetic I'm being but I can't help feeling that all the same. I've always had what I needed when I needed with the smallest of worry and effort. And at 28 I realise and remember, the problem I've always had all my life. I never was prepared for not having any of that. So with that. These 8 days have been quite the rollercoaster ride with emotions. Again with being how naive I am I decided that the first few days should be filled with no worry as the couple of weeks before were filled with stress and worry as well. It would be so easy to just give up. Better for my mood, better for my anxiety but looking forward to that path that I could choose I see more worry and more self doubt as I would regret my giving up and loss of this amazing opportunity I currently have sitting in. Living on your own is a big deal and fending for yourself is obviously a big change from moving away from your parents. But that, on top of a foreign country with a different language adds to a whole new level of challenge. A few things I really wish I finished before coming here which adds to the unpreparedness and general naivety of my personality and I guess, laziness.. was not being further in my Japanese studies and also my English teaching course studies. I can read basic Japanese. I'm proud to say it's helped me a few times. Albeit the first time was discovering coke cola on a menu. And with speaking, being able to ask questions in stores. But again that doesn't come without the worry thinking that I may be doing something wrong. As for English teaching, I just looked up my course and I have 7 months to complete it. Now I just need to not do what I always do and let that time run out. The good thing I have at the moment and that might turn things around is that I have yet to look for a job. I am completely unknowing on how difficult it may be and what I could get a job for. I know it's possible to get a job where no prior experience is needed and that only knowing English and no Japanese is fine. But I guess I'll have to wait and see with that. Luckily I also have my girlfriend Viki of 8 years who have a lot of knowledge on being here and finding a job, she also has a lot of friends over here that may be able to help us along the way as well. Okay so more troubles I'm facing; Weather: It's extremely cold here, our heating isn't perfect, it's very cold outside and I wish I brought more of my warm clothes from home. Washing and drying: we are lucky that we have coin operated washing machines and dryers in our building but there are also easily 60+ people in the building as well. And all the instructions are in Japanese. I think we managed to do everything fine but spent more money than we needed in learning. Internet access: okay so these part will probably make me look really awful, petty, pathetic etc. But I've more or less always had access to the internet, and TV. I could easily just spend days in watching TV and being online. And I was like that for all my life. Not anymore. There is no TV here. And as for the internet, we have a limit.. and that means constantly checking on how much I've used and not being able to watch any Type of videos without getting worried and also no online streaming of any kind. I'm assuming people will argue that, why should that be an issue, I'm in Japan and shouldn't be watching videos or social networking. But that's the problem. Me like So many people are used to social networking and spending time watching TV shows and movies. I don't get that luxury anymore. Not without spending a lot of money that I don't know if I can spend yet. Spending money on luxuries instead of necessities could be the difference of me making it out here and not. And what made the change more difficult: For the first week we though our internet was limitless. We though my because it was under the things our air bnb was providing that it didn't matter, and that may be partly on our landlords fault but it is majorly with us as we should have asked at the beginning. So we allowed our selves to watch a lot of Netflix, I downloaded a game on steam, we viewed a hell of a lot through instagram, facebook, Snapchat, YouTube etc I also played a hell of a lot of Pokemon Go.. something Viki won't let me forget.. And through constantly doing those things we managed to clear the 50gb that we're on our pocket wifi within the first week. That being all said it wouldn't have been unreasonable for it landlords to leave it at that. After the limit. Wifi speeds on this system drop to around 0.05mbps. This leaves just enough to send and receive messages and view text pages after waiting for a long time, occasionally you might be able to view the image at low quality here and there. But the landlords told us not to worry and gave us a new pocket wifi the next day. So we were back online, kinda. We now have 3gb per 3 days for the both of us. Viki's still sleeping, it's 11:00am and if I remember correctly I woke up around 9:30am. I used about 260mb since getting the internet back at around 10pm last night. And have used it for Reddit, facebook, twitter and instagram. Instagram for only a little time. We're planning on going to a Mochi? Event today and also visit Harajuku again. Oh, free wifi is accessible around a lot of places in Japan, including a lot of train stations. And also when our wifi speed was capped, upload speeds stayed the same as before. I'm unsure if that is normal or not but I'm still able to post pictures and updates etc even if I can't access or read anything. So I guess that's about it. I don't really want to post this on facebook so I guess my tumblr will have to do. Maybe I'll wait a while to share this on facebook. I don't want my parents to worry. Cheers. Hope all you guys are well. Take care. Shaun
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